Funny Mothers Quotes

Those who say they "Sleep like a baby" haven't got one.  - A new mother

One time I ran out of the store and took the bus home by myself after my mother asked a salesclerk where the 'underpants' counter was. Everyone in the store heard her. I had no choice. - Phyllis Theroux

You have a wonderful child. Then, when he's 13, gremlins carry him away and leave in his place a stranger who gives you not a moment's peace... You have to hang in there, because two or three years later, the gremlins will return your child, and he will be wonderful again. - Jill Eikenberg

A sweater is a garment worn by a child when the mother feels chilly. - Barbara Johnson

Take motherhood: nobody ever thought of putting it on a moral pedestal until some brash feminists pointed out, about a century ago, that the pay is lousy and the career ladder nonexistent. – Barbara Ehrenreich

Do not, on a rainy day ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching. - Fran Lebowitz

This would be a better world for children if parents had to eat the spinach. - Groucho Marx

Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers. - Judith Martin

Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce! - Mark Twain