Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.31]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Wed, 9 Apr 2008 15:57:44 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1JjTJY-0006jf-AV for blane@uow.edu.au; Wed, 09 Apr 2008 15:57:44 +1000 Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [202.77.90.3]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id JPO69618; Wed, 9 Apr 2008 15:57:42 +1000 (EST) Received: from COMP1 (unknown [118.67.218.7]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 3547FDEBFB for ; Wed, 9 Apr 2008 15:57:11 +1000 (EST) From: "Fatherhood Foundation" To: "Lane, Brian" Subject: 10/07/2006 Fathers Sharpening Saws Date: Wed, 9 Apr 2008 15:59:06 +1000 Message-ID: <006901c89a06$d4b852b0$6401a8c0@COMP1> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_006A_01C89A5A.A66462B0" X-Mailer: Microsoft Office Outlook 11 Thread-Index: Acai6u4GSoqMSVY0Rv+cVyf9Om89mn3Gx0rg X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.3198 X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A150203.47FC5AD8.0011,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=202.77.90.3, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 Return-Path: info@fathersonline.org X-OriginalArrivalTime: 09 Apr 2008 05:57:44.0753 (UTC) FILETIME=[A1596210:01C89A06] This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_006A_01C89A5A.A66462B0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 202 - 10thJuly 2006 Go to our website Here * Hello Alison <> * Grandads <> * Laughter <> * Single Dads <> * All you need is Love <> * Thought of the Week <> * Special Feature <> * News <> & Info * Dad's Prayer <> * Help Us <> Hello Friend My family and I have just come back from the Hillsong Conference, held in the Acer Arena (formerly the Super Dome) in Sydney's Olympic Park. We first attended this yearly conference in 1989, along with 400 other enthusiastic delegates. This year (17 years later) Hillsong celebrated its 20th Anniversary with 26,000 delegates plus 4,500 volunteers and a total attendance at their two night meetings of up to 35,000 people. You may have seen stories in the media about the Hillsong Conference because it is now the largest conference in Australia. People come from all over the world to Hillsong. This year over 71 countries were represented. It is also the largest media event in Australia, with a daily broadcast to the world via satellite. The music and media of Hillsong Conference is almost beyond belief. Each year it has different stage and lighting sets that combine the latest and greatest in technology with such full blown creativity it takes your breath away. As someone who is involved in the music a nd TV industry, and as a committed father, I find the whole event incredibly inspiring, as does my musical family. Each year the Hillsong Conference has different elective streams that you can attend. Examples are media, music, community action, counselling, business management, spiritual leadership and much, much more. They bring the best speakers in the world to Australia for this conference. Speakers such as John Maxwell, one of the world's best business management speakers, spiritual leaders like Bill Hybels, who has organised the world leadership summits in the USA for many years, speakers on family issues such as Robert Fergusson and Dr Allan Meyers, musicians like Darlene Zschech, Australia's biggest selling artist although better know around the globe than in Australia. Last year Guy Sebastian sang, and this year Paulini (both from the Australian Idol series) sang a breathtaking version of 'Wind Beneath My Wings'. For us Hillsong is a real family affair. We attend together as a family and find that there is plenty to do for the whole family. Hillsong has a program called Kidsong for under 12 years, Jam for high schoolers in two different age sections as well as the general stream for all and sundry. Why would we go to such a conference? It's simple really, 'You have to keep the saw sharp'! Every family needs time away together. Every family needs some fun. Every family needs inspiration. Every family needs a purpose. Hillsong is one of those conferences that inspires and teaches people and families at so many levels. If the saw gets blunt, it needs to be sharpened, otherwise frustration will set in, and sadly the saw sometimes is thrown away in disgust. The answer is to keep the saw sharp (thank you Mr Covey) and the work will get done with a minimum of fuss and frustration. We, as fathers, have to find ways to get new inspiration and new ideas, in order to renew the child within us, so that we can be a source of life and encouragement to our families. One of the Hillsong speakers, Jentezen Franklin, challenged us, 'When the child in us dies because of the pressure of work and life, we cease to become a source of life and hope for those around us'. Bill Hybels spoke candidly about how he 'hit the wall' because of overwork in 1990, and was almost put in the madhouse. His psychotherapist ordered him to find some form of recreation outside of his work. He took up sailing and now encourages those busy people working in stressful occupations to do the same to avoid burn out. Recreation is important for us all. Recreation is another word for 'sharpening the saw' of our hearts, minds and souls. Conferences such as Hillsong give us the opportunity to get great input into our lives that will challenge, inspire and refresh us and our families, something we cannot afford 'not to do'. Lovework Take a recreation audit on your life. What are you doing to keep the saw sharp and keep yourself inspired and encouraged as a father? If the answer is 'nothing' - beware! Blunt saws make family life frustrating for all concerned, especially your wife and children. Take time out to go to a conference, family seminar or have some fun. Expose yourself to continual challenges and learning opportunities. Your family will be glad you did. Yours for more inspiration Warwick Marsh PS Enquiries continue to pour in for our 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course which will be starting on 7th September 2006 in Wollongong and running for 10 weeks. For information and a free DVD pack please email info@fathersonline.org with your name, address and phone details and we will send it to you. Places in the course are limited and we will have to prioritise those who get their applications in first. Looking forward to hearing from you. Keep up the great work of being a great dad! Regards WM ________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top <> Grandads The most unhappy people I know are searching for happiness through self gratification. The best way to stay happy is to live beyond yourself. Bill Hybels back to top <> Laughter One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found. John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat. With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have one." _________________________________________________________ Incapacitated I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated." Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer. I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?" She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?" back to top <> Single Dads The DIDS meeting 5.5 years have passed It would be in truth easy to write an actual book, on the years of continued support I have been given during the most horrific time I have experienced over the last 5 years. A Breakdown, mentally, physically and Spiritually devastated my life, Which was no longer a life, crippled with rejection, depression, anxiety, grief, despair, loneliness, exhaustion , guilt and seemingly continuing badgering from those I sort help from, psychiatrists, psychologists and general practitioners, even 'Lifeline' could not mend this broken man . Utterly crushed by life's events, with no hope ...yes, no hope of a life, no future......death, was the only release I could find. And I gave the attempt a very well thought out attempt. I withhold the details ... [as others may use it, and with horror succeed!] Horror...attached to anguish, anguish attached itself to confusion and the depth of sadness.....all that within me, likened to a cancer ravishing the struggling, tired, body, all were in my eyes, and mind, crushing what was left of this pathetic husband, and a father of 3 wonderful children, and all my deep pains were irreversible. So burnt out thoroughly, the grief of my losses so painful that no physical pain could outdo it. The words 'depth of pain', and 'anguish' are mere words, reality would out display all of their pitiful meaning, and the words to endure, to survive held no reasoning within them, to Go on living. 'IT'....had been now 8 years of 'HELL'. Even these pitiful words remain insipid and without meaning, totally weak and pathetically useless in this crisis. Crisis did I say! Even this word also, held no meaning! And.........then there was DIDS ...WHAT A PATHETIC NAME!!! This advert in the Advocate gave me a sense of..... help?.... Yes? No......Not at all ... though, I would like to speak to a man for a change! Even that seemed of little hope ...a useless waste of the little energy I could muster. So ... I went along ... after dragging myself to Church! For the reality of God was all I could clutch onto, "If He and His Son Jesus aren't for real then what hope was there anyway, and, if He is for real, where are You in my anguish ?" I found the meeting area [a place, I would in time to come call with a sense of belonging, 'The Pub with No Beer!' - Oh yeah!!!! I can laugh now!!! Back then, pathetically it looked like a piteous dump! Hope went somewhere!! Yet, there . I found myself sitting and listening nervously, too afraid to talk except for 'g'day'...a real.... short conversation! What a bunch of 'no-hopers' they looked, and this bloke... who supposedly ran it, well he looked worse than me!!!! So........with my new confidence, that I would be the least, most crippled man in the place ... I took my seat, realising my thoughts were hypocritical at least! Coffee was a relief! Then there were these blokes, telling their stories as each one was handed a rock with a face on it. What am I supposed to say? Where would I start? Well they did start by telling their name.........at least I knew mine! However downtrodden I'd become. Blast! Their stories were incredible, but their honesty was what struck me. We weren't being counselled? We were actually being listened to, unless I was so far gone, or I was mistaken! And this? This rock thing! I MEAN, what sorts of 'Cult' have I let myself fall into? Blokes from all parts of life, all differing in stories and looks, all with heads and eyes staring at this rock as if it had 'ears to hear, let ME listen!' So, I'm sitting there, still like, wishing I could get up and disappear, and I'm thinking, perhaps they won't notice if I move. . . No chance, I'm stuck here! Coffee was great!!!!!! Oh yes, I shared, well I talked, and listened!!! And at last the time came, I got up and retreated to 'home' ... well where I existed. I went there devastated..... that I had used up my last option for life! But, the next week, Sunday night, I went back to 'The Pub with No Beer!' Didn't matter, I hardly ever drank...only depressed me further. This visit was different, very different as I recall. I spoke!! Burnout, grief and depression, anxiety and stress had confined me to a life without people, so talking was almost impossible. I was always a good listener, so foolishly I kept my pain to myself, pretended that I could cope, and stressed myself foolishly, as I listened to others telling their stories of broken lives and lost dreams, smashed relationships along with seldom seeing their kids. So it went on, weeks at a time, until I learnt that it was ok to speak the truth about how devastated I truly was. But how could I talk. And so the week came when I just 'spoke' with tears .Another broken man, amongst broken men. At last I fitted the group. We each met on that verandah as often as we could, and told our stories of the past, the present week, and of our needs for what we had lost. It is, and was a great experience, we all learnt to encourage one another as best as we could, and sustained each others hope in that we were not suffering the conflicts of domestic warfare alone. We began to really understand ourselves, and to accept each other's different circumstances, and age differences. As I said, I could write a book, I'll leave that to Tony Miller, who along with the other guys helped me back into life. As a Christian Youth Director for 18 years, I decided that it would be wise to return to a meeting place, which is one meaning of church, the building is but a rain shelter.........and began to get my life back, who I was, and where I could assist as I had been assisted, So here I am at dids, along with you all. Why did I tell my story here ...well why not?!!! And I thank God truly for my Family, and their support, even tho' they each themselves were hurting. To them I say a huge thanx. If you are depressed, or think you are, feel defeated, in despair, tired of the 'battle', then I am interested to speak with you. If you want to leave this world because of the pain of loss, I care. My very best Regards Col back to top <> All you need is Love Jan. 26, 2006 - Good Morning America Dr. Scott Haltzman admits that his 17-year marriage has its flaws (as does everyone's, he says), but you can still learn plenty from him. Haltzman, author of "The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever", shares his tips below. In case you're wondering, Haltzman does follow his own advice. www.secretsofmarriedmen.com Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever Make Marriage Your Job: Treat your marriage like it's your top priority. Use the problem-solving skills you learn at work on your marriage. If there's a problem in the marriage, react the way you would if you had a problem at work: Break it up into small doable tasks, hatch a strategy and stick to it. Know Your Wife: Most men assume they know their spouse, but don't know who she really is. Observe her when she's with her friends or cheering on the sidelines at a soccer game. Take notes: What does she like? Dislike? And use that information to convey to her that you truly know her. Be Home Now: Most men are not hardwired to spend a lot of time at home - harkening back to the hunter-gatherer days. They also struggle to let go of their bachelor ways. When they get married, they don't know the rules - one of which is: Your wife expects you to come home. Also many men are away from home because they're working very hard to support the family - something they consider a labor of love, but their wife considers a problem. Expect Conflict, Deal With It: Fights are inevitable. Even happy couples fight. Trouble is, a man's natural inclination is to dig in and fight till the death. But a guy can lessen the blow if he learns to fight better. Don't get defensive. Soften your tone. Don't point fingers. Learn to Listen: Simple, but powerful. All those women out there who complain their men don't listen may be right: Listening does not come naturally to men. The good news is: It's a skill that can be learned. Men can make small changes and in turn make their wives feel like they're being heard. First, turn off the TV. Second, make eye contact with her. And third, don't pace; stand still. Aim to Please: All those networking skills men learn at work - use them at home. Treat your wife at least as well as you would your boss, your co-worker or your most important client. Rule of thumb: All those things you did for her while you were courting, you should still be doing them now that you're married. Understand the Truth About Sex: The simple, unavoidable fact is that men and women are different, and what they need in the bedroom is different, too. The old stereotypes - that women need more intimacy, a slow build ? may or may not be true. But what is true is men and women need to acknowledge that they're different and be sensitive to where the other is coming from. Introduce Yourself: This should be the last step - once you're in your wife's good graces, reintroduce yourself to her. Let her know who you are, what you care about and what you want. back to top <> Thought of the Week Love God, love people . . . love life. Brian Houston founder of Hillsong back to top <> Special Feature What is Happiness Anyway? 'Happiness' should be distinguished from 'joy'. Happiness can be defined as the feeling of pleasure when a need or desire is met. Unhappiness results when we expect that need or desire to be met, and it isn't. Happiness is a superficial, fleeting feeling. It fades quickly unless the need or desire is met again and again. Joy on the other hand, is a deep seated attitudinal emotion. It is associated with spiritual values and is more lasting than happiness. The joyful person knows their value and goodness and remains positive about their life even in the face of great suffering. It is possible to be unhappy and joyful at the same time. Too many people, including married couples and parents, focus on happiness rather than joy. We focus on satisfying the superficial desires and overlook the deeper longings of the heart. An obvious example is the parent who caves in and buys their child a new toy, when really what the child desires is more attention and time. Attention and time (in other words, love) gives a child (or a spouse) a sense of their value, of their inestimable worth. It develops within them an attitude, a certain perspective that sees and experiences life as a privilege. We say, 'we just want our children/spouse to be happy', but happiness really is a very low goal. Rather, aim for joy: a lasting and empowering perspective that gives us meaning and fulfillment that endures. ________________________________________________________ An excerpt by Byron & Francine Pirola from their newsletter 'Smart Loving' www.CelebrateLove.com.au back to top <> News & Info GOOD to GREAT - the challenge The 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course is a ten week, intensive training exercise in fathering excellence. It features some of the best speakers on fatherhood in Australia such as Brigadier Jim Wallace, former commander of Australia's SAS. Commencing: 7 pm Thursday 7th September 2006 at Wollongong Campus Completion: 16th November 2006 - Duration: 10 weeks 'Good to Great' is not for the faint hearted. Our children deserve the best of the best, the world's greatest fathers. An attitude of excellence will prevail in this course. Recruits will need integrity, courage, self discipline and a sense of humour as well as the determination to be a team player who will do what he must, to ensure the success of himself and those around him. Modelled on the training plan of Australia's elite special forces, the SAS. The Australian SAS is one of the greatest special service military units in the world. The training for SAS recruits produces soldiers who are the best of the best - proficient, disciplined and committed leaders. Becoming a 'Father of Excellence' will require a similar standard of single-mindedness and devotion. The challenges and inspiration to be gained will equip men to be effective servant leaders well able to challenge and inspire those around them. Hear from fathers who have succeeded at what matters the most Each week of 'Good to Great', you and your colleagues will be issued with field exercises. These exercises will involve you increasing your level of practical fatherhood skills. One such assignment will be to set one night a week aside for family dinner. Another, to take your wife away for a romantic weekend. Each dad will have a mentor. These fathers will share their weaknesses and strengths and their keys for success as a father. A pooling of our knowledge and skills will help us all to be more effective. Everybody has something to contribute to one another's development. If you are up to the challenge and opportunity of being a father by which other fathers can set their compass, then 'Good to Great' is for you. Be more than a man, be a Father of Excellence. Do it now. Do it for your children, yourself, your wife and family and your nation. A DVD and enrolment form is available. Please email info@fathersonline.org with your name, address and phone number to request an enrolment form and DVD. Places are strictly limited. Priority will be given to those who are first to register. A rigorous selection process will be completed and you will be notified at the earliest opportunity. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 40,000 Strong at Hillsong Conference http://www.theadvertiser.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,19684409%255E4 21,00.html _________________________________________________________ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation I would like to know whether you are planning on running the Good to Great course down in Melbourne sometime. Thanks for praying with me a few weeks ago. God was my strength and defence, the outcome was great. You guys are fantastic - keep up the good work. Alex back to top <> Dad's Prayer Dear God Please help me love you more. Please help me love people more, especially the unlovely ones. Help me love life. If I love life, this will help keep my saw sharp. Sawing timber with a blunt saw is hard and frustrating work If I keep myself constantly challenged and recreated, the saw will stay sharp And we will have more fun. Fun is not a four letter word. back to top <> Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top <> Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_006A_01C89A5A.A66462B0 Content-Type: text/html; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Fatherhood Foundation

 

 

Issue = 202 - 10thJuly 2006

Go to our website Here<= /p>

 

 

 

 

Hello Friend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My family and I have just come back from the Hillsong Conference, held in the = Acer Arena (formerly the Super Dome) in Sydney's Olympic Park.  We first attended this yearly conference in = 1989, along with 400 other enthusiastic delegates.  This year (17 years later) = Hillsong celebrated its 20th Anniversary with 26,000 delegates plus 4,500 = volunteers and a total attendance at their two night meetings of up to 35,000 = people.

 

You may have seen stories in the media about the Hillsong Conference because it = is now the largest conference in Australia. People come from all over the world to Hillsong.  This year = over 71 countries were represented. It is also the largest media event in = Australia, with a daily broadcast to the world via satellite. The music and = media of Hillsong Conference is almost beyond belief.  Each year it has = different stage and lighting sets that combine the latest and greatest in = technology with such full blown creativity it takes your breath away.  As = someone who is involved in the music a nd TV industry, and as a committed = father, I find the whole event incredibly inspiring, as does my musical = family.

 

Each year the Hillsong Conference has different elective streams that you can = attend. Examples are media, music, community action, counselling, business management, spiritual leadership and much, much more.  They = bring the best speakers in the world to Australia for this conference.  = Speakers such as John Maxwell, one of the world's best business management speakers, spiritual leaders like Bill Hybels, who has organised the world = leadership summits in the USA for many years, speakers on family issues such as = Robert Fergusson and Dr Allan Meyers, musicians like Darlene Zschech, = Australia's biggest selling artist although better know around the globe than in Australia.  Last year Guy Sebastian sang, and this year Paulini = (both from the Australian Idol series) sang a breathtaking version of 'Wind = Beneath My Wings'.

 

For us Hillsong is a real family affair.  We attend together as a = family and find that there is plenty to do for the whole family.  Hillsong has = a program called Kidsong for under 12 years, Jam for high schoolers in two = different age sections as well as the general stream for all and sundry.  =

 

Why would we go to such a conference?

 

It's simple really, 'You have to keep the saw sharp'!  Every family needs = time away together.  Every family needs some fun.  Every family = needs inspiration.  Every family needs a purpose.  Hillsong is one of those = conferences that inspires and teaches people and families at so many = levels.

 

If the saw gets blunt, it needs to be sharpened, otherwise frustration will = set in, and sadly the saw sometimes is thrown away in disgust.  The = answer is to keep the saw sharp (thank you Mr Covey) and the work will get done = with a minimum of fuss and frustration.

 

We, as fathers, have to find ways to get new inspiration and new ideas, in = order to renew the child within us, so that we can be a source of life and encouragement to our families.

 

One of the Hillsong speakers, Jentezen Franklin, challenged us, 'When the child = in us dies because of the pressure of work and life, we cease to become a = source of life and hope for those around us'. Bill Hybels spoke candidly = about how he 'hit the wall' because of overwork in 1990, and was almost put in = the madhouse.  His psychotherapist ordered him to find some form of = recreation outside of his work.  He took up sailing and now encourages = those busy people working in stressful occupations to do the same to avoid burn = out.  Recreation is important for us all.  Recreation is another word = for 'sharpening the saw' of our hearts, minds and souls.  = Conferences such as Hillsong give us the opportunity to get great input into our lives = that will challenge, inspire and refresh us and our families, something = we cannot afford 'not to do'.

 

Lovework

 

Take a recreation audit on your life.  What are you doing to keep the = saw sharp and keep yourself inspired and encouraged as a father?  If the = answer is 'nothing' - beware!  Blunt saws make family life frustrating = for all concerned, especially your wife and children.  Take time out to = go to a conference, family seminar or have some fun.  Expose yourself = to continual challenges and learning opportunities.  =

 

Your family will be glad you did.

 

Yours for more inspiration

Warwick Marsh

 

PS Enquiries continue to pour in for our 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring = Course which will be starting on 7th September 2006 in Wollongong and = running for 10 weeks.  For information and a free DVD pack please email = info@fathersonline.org  with your name, address and phone = details and we will send it to you. Places in the course are limited and we = will have to prioritise those who get their applications in = first.

 

Looking forward to hearing from you.  Keep up the great work of being a = great dad!

 

Regards

WM

________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. = He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, =
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

back = to top

Grandads

 

       

 

The most unhappy people I know

are searching for happiness

through self gratification.

The best way to stay happy

is to live beyond yourself.

 

Bill Hybels

back = to top

Laughter

One rainy = evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he = had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with = a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There = were none to be found.

John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned = with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed = in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat.

With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, = I'll have one."

_________________________________________________________<= /font>

Incapacitated =

I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned = asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. = "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind = and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what = that means?"

She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?" =

back = to top

Single Dads =

 

The DIDS meeting =

5.5 years have = passed

 

It would be in truth easy to write an actual book, on the years of continued = support I have been given during the most horrific time I =

have experienced over the last 5 years.

 

A Breakdown, mentally, physically and Spiritually devastated my life, =

Which was no longer a life, crippled with rejection, depression, anxiety, grief, despair, loneliness, exhaustion , guilt and seemingly =

continuing badgering from those I sort help from, psychiatrists, psychologists = and general practitioners, even 'Lifeline' could not mend this broken = man .

 

Utterly crushed by life's events, with no hope ...yes, no hope of a life, no future......death, was the only release I could find. And I gave the attempt a very well thought out attempt. I withhold the details ... = [as others may use it, and with horror succeed!]

 

Horror...attached to anguish, anguish attached itself to confusion and the depth of sadness.....all that within me, likened to a cancer ravishing the struggling, tired, body, all were in my eyes, and mind, crushing = what was left of this pathetic husband, and a father of 3 wonderful children, = and all my deep pains were irreversible.

 

So burnt out thoroughly, the grief of my losses so painful that no physical pain = could outdo it. The words 'depth of pain', and 'anguish' are mere words, = reality would out display all of their pitiful meaning, and the words to = endure, to survive held no reasoning within them, to Go on living. =

 

'IT'....had been now 8 years of 'HELL'. Even these pitiful words remain insipid = and without meaning, totally weak and pathetically useless in this = crisis.

Crisis did I say! Even this word also, held no meaning! =

 

And.........then there was DIDS ...WHAT A PATHETIC NAME!!! =

This advert in the Advocate gave me a sense of..... help?.... Yes? =

No......Not at all ... though, I would like to speak to a man for a change! =

Even that seemed of little hope ...a useless waste of the little energy I = could muster.

 

So ... I went along ... after dragging myself to Church! For the reality of = God was all I could clutch onto, "If He and His Son Jesus aren't for = real then what hope was there anyway, and, if He is for real, where are You in = my anguish ?"

 

I found the meeting area [a place, I would in time to come call with a sense of belonging, 'The Pub with No Beer!' - Oh yeah!!!! I can laugh = now!!! Back then, pathetically it looked like a piteous dump! Hope went somewhere!!

 

Yet, there . I found myself sitting and listening nervously, too afraid to talk = except for 'g'day'...a real.... short conversation! =

 

What a bunch of 'no-hopers' they looked, and this bloke... who supposedly ran it, = well he looked worse than me!!!! So........with my new confidence, that I = would be the least, most crippled man in the place ... I took my seat, = realising my thoughts were hypocritical at least!

 

Coffee was a relief! Then there were these blokes, telling their stories as each = one was handed a rock with a face on it.

 

What am I supposed to say? Where would I start? Well they did start by telling = their name.........at least I knew mine! However downtrodden I'd become. =

 

Blast! Their stories were incredible, but their honesty was what struck me. We = weren't being counselled? We were actually being listened to, unless I was = so far gone, or I was mistaken!

 

And this? This rock thing! I MEAN, what sorts of 'Cult' have I let myself fall = into? Blokes from all parts of life, all differing in stories and looks, = all with heads and eyes staring at this rock as if it had 'ears to hear, let = ME listen!' So, I'm sitting there, still like, wishing I could get up = and disappear, and I'm thinking, perhaps they won't notice if I move. . = . No chance, I'm stuck here!

 

Coffee was great!!!!!!

 

Oh yes, I shared, well I talked, and listened!!! And at last the time came, I = got up and retreated to 'home' ... well where I existed. =

I went there devastated..... that I had used up my last option for life! =

 

But, the next week, Sunday night, I went back to 'The Pub with No Beer!' = Didn't matter, I hardly ever drank...only depressed me further. =

 

This visit was different, very different as I recall. I spoke!! Burnout, grief = and depression, anxiety and stress had confined me to a life without = people, so talking was almost impossible.

 

I was always a good listener, so foolishly I kept my pain to myself, pretended = that I could cope, and stressed myself foolishly, as I listened to others = telling their stories of broken lives and lost dreams, smashed relationships = along with seldom seeing their kids. So it went on, weeks at a time, until = I learnt that it was ok to speak the truth about how devastated I = truly was. But how could I talk.

 

And so the week came when I just 'spoke' with tears .Another broken man, = amongst broken men. At last I fitted the group. We each met on that verandah = as often as we could, and told our stories of the past, the present = week, and of our needs for what we had lost.

 

It is, and was a great experience, we all learnt to encourage one another as = best as we could, and sustained each others hope in that we were not = suffering the conflicts of domestic warfare alone. We began to really understand ourselves, and to accept each other's different circumstances, and = age differences.

 

As I said, I could write a book, I'll leave that to Tony Miller, who along with = the other guys helped me back into life. As a Christian Youth Director = for 18 years, I decided that it would be wise to return to a meeting place, = which is one meaning of church, the building is but a rain = shelter.........and began to get my life back, who I was, and where I could assist as I = had been assisted, So here I am at dids, along with you all. Why did I = tell my story here ...well why not?!!! And I thank God truly for my Family, = and their support, even tho' they each themselves were hurting. To them = I say a huge thanx.

 

If you are depressed, or think you are, feel defeated, in despair, tired of the 'battle', then I am interested to speak with you. =

If you want to leave this world because of the pain of loss, I care. =

My very best Regards Col

back = to top

All you need is = Love

 

Jan. 26, 2006 - Good Morning = America 

 

Dr. Scott Haltzman admits that his 17-year marriage has its flaws (as does everyone's, he says), but you can still learn plenty from him. = Haltzman, author of "The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart = Forever", shares his tips below. In case you're wondering, Haltzman does follow his = own advice. www.secretsofmarriedmen.com<= /a>
       &nbs= p;  

Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart = Forever

 

Make Marriage Your Job: Treat your marriage like it's your top = priority. Use the problem-solving skills you learn at work on your marriage. = If there's a problem in the marriage, react the way you would if you = had a problem at work: Break it up into small doable tasks, hatch a = strategy and stick to it.

 

Know Your Wife: Most men assume they know their spouse, = but don't know who she really is. Observe her when she's with her friends or = cheering on the sidelines at a soccer game. Take notes: What does she like? = Dislike? And use that information to convey to her that you truly know her. =

 

Be Home Now: Most men are not hardwired to spend a = lot of time at home - harkening back to the hunter-gatherer days. They = also struggle to let go of their bachelor ways. When they get married, = they don't know the rules - one of which is: Your wife expects you = to come home. Also many men are away from home because they're working very = hard to support the family - something they consider a labor of love, = but their wife considers a problem.

 

Expect Conflict, Deal With = It: Fights are inevitable. = Even happy couples fight. Trouble is, a man's natural inclination is to dig in = and fight till the death. But a guy can lessen the blow if he learns to = fight better. Don't get defensive. Soften your tone. Don't point fingers. =

 

Learn to Listen: Simple, but powerful. All those women = out there who complain their men don't listen may be right: Listening does not = come naturally to men. The good news is: It's a skill that can be = learned. Men can make small changes and in turn make their wives feel like = they're being heard. First, turn off the TV. Second, make eye contact with her. = And third, don't pace; stand still.

 

Aim to Please: All those networking skills men learn = at work - use them at home. Treat your wife at least as well as = you would your boss, your co-worker or your most important client. Rule of = thumb: All those things you did for her while you were courting, you should = still be doing them now that you're married.

 

Understand the Truth About = Sex: The simple, unavoidable = fact is that men and women are different, and what they need in the bedroom = is different, too. The old stereotypes - that women need more = intimacy, a slow build ? may or may not be true. But what is true is men and = women need to acknowledge that they're different and be sensitive to where the = other is coming from.

 

Introduce Yourself: This should be the last step - once = you're in your wife's good graces, reintroduce yourself to her. Let her know = who you are, what you care about and what you want. =

back = to top

Thought of the = Week

Love God,
love people . . . love = life.

 

Brian Houston

founder of Hillsong

back = to top

Special = Feature

What is Happiness = Anyway?

 

'Happiness' should be distinguished from = 'joy'.

 

Happiness can be defined as the feeling of pleasure when a need or desire is = met. Unhappiness results when we expect that need or desire to be met, = and it isn't. Happiness is a superficial, fleeting feeling. It fades = quickly unless the need or desire is met again and again. =

 

Joy on the other hand, is a deep seated attitudinal emotion. It is associated = with spiritual values and is more lasting than happiness. The joyful = person knows their value and goodness and remains positive about their life = even in the face of great suffering. It is possible to be unhappy and = joyful at the same time.

 

Too many people, including married couples and parents, focus on happiness = rather than joy. We focus on satisfying the superficial desires and = overlook the deeper longings of the heart.

 

An obvious example is the parent who caves in and buys their child a new toy, = when really what the child desires is more attention and time. Attention = and time (in other words, love) gives a child (or a spouse) a sense of = their value, of their inestimable worth. It develops within them an = attitude, a certain perspective that sees and experiences life as a privilege. =

 

We say, 'we just want our children/spouse to be happy', but happiness really is = a very low goal. Rather, aim for joy: a lasting and empowering perspective = that gives us meaning and fulfillment that = endures.

______________________________________________= __________

An excerpt by Byron & Francine Pirola from their newsletter 'Smart = Loving'

www.CelebrateLove.com.au =

back = to top

News & = Info

 

 

 

 

 

 


GOOD  to  GREAT  -  the  = challenge

 

The 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course is a ten week, intensive training exercise in fathering excellence. It features some of the best = speakers on fatherhood in Australia such as Brigadier Jim Wallace, former = commander of Australia's SAS.

 

Commencing: 7 pm Thursday 7th September 2006 at Wollongong Campus =

Completion: 16th November 2006 - Duration: 10 weeks =

 

'Good to Great' is not for the faint hearted. Our children deserve the best = of the best, the world's greatest fathers. An attitude of excellence will = prevail in this course. Recruits will need integrity, courage, self = discipline and a sense of humour as well as the determination to be a team player = who will do what he must, to ensure the success of himself and those around = him.

 

Modelled on the training plan of Australia's elite special forces, the = SAS.

The Australian SAS is one of the greatest special service military units = in the world. The training for SAS recruits produces soldiers who are the = best of the best - proficient, disciplined and committed leaders. Becoming a 'Father of Excellence' will require a similar standard of = single-mindedness and devotion. The challenges and inspiration to be gained will equip = men to be effective servant leaders well able to challenge and inspire = those around them.

 

Hear from fathers who have succeeded at what matters the = most

Each week of 'Good to Great', you and your colleagues will be issued with field exercises. These exercises will involve you increasing your level of practical fatherhood skills. One such assignment will be to set one = night a week aside for family dinner. Another, to take your wife away for a romantic weekend. Each dad will have a mentor. These fathers will = share their weaknesses and strengths and their keys for success as a = father. A pooling of our knowledge and skills will help us all to be more = effective. Everybody has something to contribute to one another's = development.

 

If you are up to the challenge and opportunity of being a father by which other fathers can set their compass, then 'Good to Great' is for you. Be = more than a man, be a Father of Excellence. Do it now. Do it for your = children, yourself, your wife and family and your = nation.

 

A DVD and enrolment form is available.

Please email info@fathersonline.org  with your name, = address and phone number to request an enrolment form and = DVD.

 

Places are strictly limited. Priority will be given to those who are first to register. A rigorous selection process will be completed and you = will be notified at the earliest opportunity.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

40,000 Strong at Hillsong Conference

http://www.theadvertiser.news.com.au/common/sto= ry_page/0,5936,19684409%255E421,00.html

_______________________________________________= __________

 

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I would like to know whether you are planning on running the =

Good to Great course down in Melbourne sometime.

Thanks for praying with me a few weeks ago.

God was my strength and defence, the outcome was = great.

You guys are fantastic - keep up the good work.

 

Alex

back = to top

Dad's = Prayer

 

Dear God

 

Please help me love you more.

Please help me love people more,

especially the unlovely ones.

Help me love life.

If I love life, this will help

keep my saw sharp.

Sawing timber with a blunt saw

is hard and frustrating work

If I keep myself constantly

challenged and recreated,

the saw will stay sharp

And we will have more fun.

Fun is not a four letter word.

back = to top

Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. =
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be = a   source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and = deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the = well-being of their children and their children's = mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax = deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public = Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for = tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public = fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under = Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter = because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend.  = If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE = button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject = heading.

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