Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.31]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 30 Sep 2007 08:45:29 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.63) (envelope-from ) id 1Ibl3w-0007b9-Vk for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 30 Sep 2007 08:45:29 +1000 Received: from servervs1.bosweb.local (eth3951.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.126.110]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id FWW66539; Sun, 30 Sep 2007 08:45:27 +1000 (EST) Received: from servervs1 ([127.0.0.1]) by servervs1.bosweb.local with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 30 Sep 2007 08:44:52 +1000 Thread-Topic: Fathers Living Longer Reply-To: Message-ID: thread-index: AcgC6ll2YRr/fYPYTHiSzRZbs/6RCg== From: To: Subject: Fathers Living Longer Date: Sun, 30 Sep 2007 08:44:52 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_1DD4C_01C8033E.2B25C390" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Windows 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.4073 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 29 Sep 2007 22:44:52.0701 (UTC) FILETIME=[597CC0D0:01C802EA] X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A090204.46FED588.001C,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=150.101.126.110, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2007-09-06 Return-Path: info@fathersonline.org This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_1DD4C_01C8033E.2B25C390 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 Unable to read this email? Please click here =20 =20 Issue 267 - 1st October, 2007 Go to our website Here =20 =20 * Welcome * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads=20 * Special Feature * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Welcome You might remember me talking a few weeks ago about the joy of being the facilitator of another 'Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring Course' for Dads. It is all still true. =20 Last Wednesday I was 'forced' to listen to Dr John Tickell's humorous presentation called 'The Stress of Success'. =20 Dr John Tickell's DVD presentation, which he is kindly allowing us to use as part of our course for Dads, is essentially a presentation on how to survive success in the Western world. =20 Our successful lifestyle is killing us in more ways than one. The Western world has more food, better hospitals, bigger houses, more jobs and more money than the poorer countries of the world, The sad fact of the matter is we eat too much of the wrong food and not enough of the right food. Our better hospital systems are devoted to treating the symptoms of our affluent Western culture which are due primarily to our poor eating habits and a lack of proper exercise. Our whole medical system is focussed on trying to fix problems instead of preventing those same health problems in the first place. We have larger homes but our families are smaller and are breaking up at a record rate. Our technology is constantly breaking new records but we are stressing ourselves into new levels of heart failure to keep up. Yes we have more money but less happiness. Our relationships, or our lack of them, define us. =20 Dr John Tickell addresses the three fundamentals that afflict fathers, perhaps more than anyone else: * Bad eating habits * Inability to cope * Deficit in body movement =20 John's simple answer to these problems is what he calls the ACE programme. =20 A is for Activity.=20 =20 Walking is best, Running is okay (just don't do too much). Riding a bike is fantastic because it takes the stress off the joints and gets your legs toned. Swimming is good. John Tickell is a big advocate of walking and using stairs wherever possible instead of the lift, The key is to get your body moving. Dr Tickell says, "We really should forget how old we are because chronological age means little. It is physiological or 'how old are you really' age which is the measuring stick and the human body is such an amazing thing. Seventy year olds can do the same things as 40 year olds if they do it often enough. That's called the training effect. =20 I have seen people dramatically reverse the ticking clock of aging after they have had their coronary (heart attack) simply because there is an incentive and a reason to do so. =20 They exercise, they eat well, they crank up the mind power and while the chronological clock goes on 10 years, their physiological clock goes backwards 20. It's great stuff." =20 The C in ACE is for Coping Dr John Tickell says that there is no such thing as stress. Stress is what is on the inside. We have to manage stress or it will kill us. Attitude is everything. Then it is critical that we take breaks and rest up as much as possible. If we don't, we can often die early from heart attacks, ulcers, cancers which are either directly or indirectly related to our ability to cope with life. =20 The E in the ACE programme is for Eating Dr Tickell simplifies the food pyramid and so called 5 food groups into two groups, Plant food and bonus food. In other words vegetables and plant based food is an absolute must and every other food group should be treated as a bonus food. Diets are a non-event because a diet is something you go on and off. Dr Tickell advocates a holistic change of lifestyle in all departments so that you can enjoy life more and live longer in the process - after all isn't that what our children need? =20 Lovework =20 You know what you gotta do! =20 Hit an ACE for your family and become an ace in the process. =20 If you want more information on how to have a better life and find out the Ten Secrets of Long Living People, buy your own copy of Dr John Tickell's great book: Laughter, Sex, Vegetables & Fish www.drjohntickell.com =20 Reading Dr John's book will add years to your life. =20 Yours for longer life Warwick Marsh =20 PS We thank you for your support and interest in the National Strategic Summit on Marriage, Family & Fatherhood. If you would like your own copy of the Marriage Manifesto you can download it at: http://www.fatherhood.org.au/resources/marriage-manifesto.pdf=20 =20 For your own copy of 21 Reasons Why Gender Matters please request an order form from: info@fatherhood.org.au =20 ___________________________________________________________=20 Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top=20 =20 Grandads =20 Grandfathers be Encouraged! =20 =20 Share bits of information such as below and from Bill Jackaman with your sons and daughters.=20 Put into effect some of their suggestions when spending time with your grandchildren.=20 Your family needs your input.=20 You have the wisdom and often the time to help raise the next generation. =20 Ways that Dads can Bond with their Baby =20 Though I cannot give reference I am confident of the values attached to the following: When fathers hold their children less than 30 minutes after they are born these fathers will never abuse children. Babies moreover, quickly relate to father's voice when he has spoken to them even in the womb. Two of my sons thought I was barmy to suggest such a thing but would be quick to confirm that it's true. =20 Neil E. Ryan Wheelers Hill 3150 =20 back to top=20 =20 Laughter A woman called a local hospital. 'Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected or getting worse.' The voice on the other end said, 'What is the patient's name and room number?' 'Sarah Finkel, room 302.' 'I'll connect you with the nursing station.' '3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?' 'I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302.' 'Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Room 302 -- Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon.' The woman said, 'What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!' The nurse said, 'From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!' 'Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me anything at all!' back to top=20 =20 Single Dads=20 Children Need Both Their Parents=20 by James Adams =20 I have a baby daughter pretty-much half time and love it! She's three now and she's thriving too. So far this sounds like a pretty typical doting dad, but it certainly isn't typical. =20 I call myself 'PartTimeParent', because that's what I am. You see, I work a 4-day week, and so does her mother. It's great! I'm also a single dad.=20 =20 My daughter is a result of a very short relationship 'one which lasted only a few weeks. (There's a lesson there for me). While I can talk a lot about the details and my suspicions which surrounded the conception, I won't. I'll never say anything bad about the mother of my daughter.=20 =20 What I will say is that I believe in fairness. Sadly, there is no fairness in divorce law. She had all the choices and I had only responsibilities.=20 =20 She could have aborted, taken the morning-after pill, adopted the child out. And I would have no legal influence over the mother's decisions. She could have returned to work a week after the birth and put my child in long-day-care, or, on the other hand, she could have decided never to work again and to live on my C$A (Child Support). Again, these are entirely her choices and I would have to deal with the consequences of them. She could have allowed shared parenting with me, or kept me as a wallet, instead of a father, to my child.=20 =20 My legal advice was that I would probably get 4hrs of contact a week, supervised by some nasty social-worker-type and I would have to pay this social worker for the privilege of seeing my child. I would be treated like a paedophile!=20 =20 Why would my natural desire to be a dad to my child be put under such legal restraints? I'm a professional, clean record, not a drug addict. Nothing bad at all. I was simply a dad. And that's the rub.=20 =20 If you're a dad, you are assumed to be bad? The mother could put my child up for adoption and I would not even be contacted (at least that is the case in the USA). She's the mother and legally she's given all the legal privileges and the assumption of innocence, sweetness and light. But as the father I'm assumed to be guilty of all accusations unless I prove otherwise. That's the law.=20 =20 My daughter, Ella, is lucky, because she's got both her natural parents to look after her and protect her.=20 =20 =20 Children need BOTH their parents! back to top=20 =20 Special Feature THE POWER OF PERSISTANCE By Abraham Lincoln =20 =20 There are no impossible situations only people who think so. This is the most well known piece of advice that I or anyone else can give to you. Those who succeed, those who have made their millions, one thing that they will all say, is that you have to persist. =20 One of the most dramatic examples in history of perseverance in the face of repeated defeat is in this biography. =20 His brother was born and died in 1812. He was saved from drowning by a playmate in 1816. He was kicked in the head by a horse and for a brief time was thought dead in 1818. His mother died of milk poisoning in 1818. His sister died in child birth in 1828. He was a captain in the Black Hawk War, ends up as Private after 3 months in 1832. He lost his job in 1832. He also was defeated for State Legislator in 1832. He failed in business in 1833. He was elected to the Legislator in 1834. His former business partner died leaving him in further debt of USD$1,000 in 1835.=20 He suffered the loss of his sweetheart who died in 1835. He suffered a nervous breakdown in 1836. He proposes marriage and is turned down, ending the courtship in 1837. He was defeated for speaker of the State Legislator in 1838. He breaks off his engagement after 6 months in 1841. Had suffered from episodes of depression in 1841. He was defeated for nomination for Congress in 1843. He was elected for Congress in 1846. He lost his re-nomination for Congress in 1848. He was rejected for the position of Land Officer in 1849. His son died in 1850. His father died in 1851. He was defeated for the Senate in 1854. He was defeated for the nomination of Vice President of the United States in 1856. He was defeated again for the Senate in 1858. And finally Abraham Lincoln was elected President of the United States in 1860. back to top=20 =20 Thought of the Week =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Men will spend their health=20 getting wealthy, then gladly pay all they have=20 earned to get health back. =20 Mike Murdock =20 =20 =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 All You Need is Love These stats are from USA, but be assured the effects of no-fault divorce and de-facto relationships have the same harmful effects in any country. =20 No-fault divorce, cohabitation harmful to families by Bryan Fischer - Renew America September 27, 2007 =20 =20 I had the opportunity to speak earlier this week on behalf of the Idaho Values Alliance in presenting testimony to the Legislative Family Task Force chaired by Rep. Steven Thayne of Emmett. =20 Using statistics provided by the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare, I pointed out that the divorce in Idaho, while about what it was in 1970, is almost 40% higher than the national average. Also worrisome is the fact that the marriage rate in Idaho is now 60% lower than it was just a generation ago. =20 Since out-of-wedlock births in Idaho are at their highest totals in state history, the clear implication is that increasing numbers of Idahoans are cohabiting rather than entering into the solemn commitment of marriage. The effective "divorce" rate, then, is likely to be substantially higher even than the statistics indicate, since the break up of cohabiting couples does not show up in divorce summaries. =20 Cohabiting unfortunately has become increasingly acceptable, due to the sexual revolution and the rise of feminism, and there are now twelve times as many cohabiting couples in America as there were in 1960. =20 Research confirms that cohabitation is harmful for adults, the children in such homes, and for society in general. Cohabiting relationships are notoriously unstable, as cohabiting couples break up at a much higher rate than married couples, and cohabiting couples who eventually marry have a divorce rate that is 46% higher than couples who do not live together before marriage. Children pay a terrible price for the inherent instability associated with these environments. =20 The risk of domestic violence is twice as high for women in cohabiting relationships, who are nine times more likely to be killed by their partners than women in marital relationships. =20 Children in cohabiting environments are at a much greater risk of both physical and sexual abuse. In fact, the most unsafe environment for children is one in which the mother is living with someone other than the child's biological father, which is the case in the majority of cohabiting households. =20 Further, cohabiting couples report lower levels of income, sexual exclusivity and sexual satisfaction than married couples. The bottom line is that, if we care about both Idaho's adults and Idaho's children, we will support public policies that encourage marriage rather than cohabitation. =20 No-fault divorce, enacted in Idaho in 1970, has contributed to the instability of the marriage relationship by making it possible for one partner to unilaterally dissolve a marriage and break up a family, leaving spouses with no legal protection for the bond they have created. =20 As Maggie Gallagher observed, marriage "has become less binding than the average business deal. Marriage is one of the few contracts in which the law explicitly protects the defaulting party at the expense of his or her partner." No-fault divorce has contributed to a 25% increase in the rate of divorce all by itself, and has perversely contributed to an increase in cohabitation as adults have less and less confidence that a marriage commitment will receive significant legal protection. =20 =20 Reversing the trend toward cohabitation will require a cultural awakening which re-establishes the view that personal happiness is a function of high-trust and lasting relationships. =20 But public policy changes are certainly a key element. It is probably time for Idaho legislators to revisit no-fault divorce, and perhaps replace it with a "mutual consent" plank, in which a "no-fault" divorce can only be granted if both parties agree to it, especially when minor children are still in the home. =20 Mutual consent divorce would give some leverage and bargaining power to the innocent spouse, and involves the least amount of government intrusion since the couple would work out custody and financial issues before coming into court. =20 It's worth noting that New York is the only state without no-fault divorce, and one main reason is that every time it has been proposed, feminist groups have fiercely opposed it. They recognize the exposure no-fault divorce creates for women, especially those who have left the workforce to devote their full energies to raising children. Women in such circumstances often experience a precipitous drop in their standard of living, and no-fault divorce leaves them sadly unprotected. We can, and should, do better for Idaho families. =20 =A9 Copyright 2007 by Bryan Fischer http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/fischer/070927=20 =20 Bryan Fischer is the Executive Director of the Idaho Values Alliance, whose mission is to make Idaho the friendliest place in the world to raise a family. He has an undergraduate degree in Philosophy (from Stanford University) and a graduate degree in theology. back to top=20 =20 News & Info =20 =20 =20 De Facto Couples Risking Ruin Family lawyers say a growing number of men and women who split from long-term partners are losing out because they are not entitled to the same legal protection as married couples.=20 Most are unaware of the "cohabitation trap", in which their legal rights change automatically after two years or if they have a child together.=20 http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22503081-2,00.html =20 =20 Letters =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 I am an avid reader of your newsletter and want to keep receiving it. Would you be able to update my email address please? =20 Thanks, and keep up the good work! =20 Regards David _______________________ =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Thanks for your efforts to put out your weekly newsletter. I appreciate and admire your efforts to raise awareness of the issues affecting fathers and their relationships with mothers and children, and to help inspire great fathering.=20 =20 I do have a request; do you have any links to comments made by Professor Patrick Parkinson in relation to the Family Courts current failure to consistently support shared parenting outcomes?=20 =20 I came across a book at my local news agency/book shop on the weekend which I highly recommend. It?s called Fathers & Sons and it contains some 30 essay stories on a wide range of father and son relationships combined with some great photographs, in all 144 pages and on special for $14.95. Essays told by Todd Richissin and photographs by Jim Graham and published by Running Press. =20 It?s a great value book, thought provoking and inspiring. =20 Kind regards Gerard oasis06@bigpond.com=20 =20 ________________________ =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 What an excellent newsletter you do! Thanks for all the effort and wisdom. =20 God bless your work. Harry back to top=20 =20 Dad's Prayer =20 =20 Dear God =20 I like the idea of living longer. Does that mean I can't fill up on cheesecake, chips,=20 saturated fats=20 and sugar filled donuts??. =20 Yes. =20 But I like that sort of food . . . Do you mean to say that When my mother used to tell me To eat my vegetables She was right ??=20 =20 Yes. =20 Couldn't I have a little bit of sweets?!! =20 Yes . . . but make sure you eat your vegetables . . .=20 =20 You are starting to sound like my mother . . . =20 Well I made her too - If you have a problem with that Please take it up with me direct. =20 back to top=20 =20 Help Us Click here for more information about us =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.=20 Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund=20 (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558=20 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top=20 Click Here to Unsubscribe =20 ------=_NextPart_000_1DD4C_01C8033E.2B25C390 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Fatherhood Foundation
Unable to read this email? Please click here
Issue 267 - 1st October, 2007 Go to our website Here


Welcome

You might remember me talking a few weeks ago about the joy of being the facilitator of another 'Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring Course' for Dads.  It is all still true.

 

Last Wednesday I was 'forced' to listen to Dr John Tickell's humorous presentation called 'The Stress of Success'.

 

Dr John Tickell's DVD presentation, which he is kindly allowing us to use as part of our course for Dads, is essentially a presentation on how to survive success in the Western world.

 

Our successful lifestyle is killing us in more ways than one. The Western world has more food, better hospitals, bigger houses, more jobs and more money than the poorer countries of the world, The sad fact of the matter is we eat too much of the wrong food and not enough of the right food. Our better hospital systems are devoted to treating the symptoms of our affluent Western culture which are due primarily to our poor eating habits and a lack of proper exercise. Our whole medical system is focussed on trying to fix problems instead of preventing those same health problems in the first place. We have larger homes but our families are smaller and are breaking up at a record rate. Our technology is constantly breaking new records but we are stressing ourselves into new levels of heart failure to keep up. Yes we have more money but less happiness. Our relationships, or our lack of ! them, define us.

 

Dr John Tickell addresses the three fundamentals that afflict fathers, perhaps more than anyone else:

  • Bad eating habits
  • Inability to cope
  • Deficit in body movement

 

John's simple answer to these problems is what he calls the ACE programme.

 

A is for Activity.

Walking is best, Running is okay (just don't do too much). Riding a bike is fantastic because it takes the stress off the joints and gets your legs toned. Swimming is good.  John Tickell is a big advocate of walking and using stairs wherever possible instead of the lift,

The key is to get your body moving.

Dr Tickell says, "We really should forget how old we are because chronological age means little. It is physiological or 'how old are you really' age which is the measuring stick and the human body is such an amazing thing. Seventy year olds can do the same things as 40 year olds if they do it often enough. That's called the training effect.

 

I have seen people dramatically reverse the ticking clock of aging after they have had their coronary (heart attack) simply because there is an incentive and a reason to do so.

 

They exercise, they eat well, they crank up the mind power and while the chronological clock goes on 10 years, their physiological clock goes backwards 20. It's great stuff."

 

The C in ACE is for Coping

Dr John Tickell says that there is no such thing as stress. Stress is what is on the inside. We have to manage stress or it will kill us. Attitude is everything. Then it is critical that we take breaks and rest up as much as possible. If we don't, we can often die early from heart attacks, ulcers, cancers which are either directly or indirectly related to our ability to cope with life.

 

The E in the ACE programme is for Eating

Dr Tickell simplifies the food pyramid and so called 5 food groups into two groups, Plant food and bonus food. In other words vegetables and plant based food is an absolute must and every other food group should be treated as a bonus food. Diets are a non-event because a diet is something you go on and off. Dr Tickell advocates a holistic change of lifestyle in all departments so that you can enjoy life more and live longer in the process - after all isn't that what our children need?

 

Lovework

 

You know what you gotta do!

 

Hit an ACE for your family and become an ace in the process.

 

If you want more information on how to have a better life and find out the Ten Secrets of Long Living People, buy your own copy of Dr John Tickell's great book: Laughter, Sex, Vegetables & Fish www.drjohntickell.com

Reading Dr John's book will add years to your life.

 

Yours for longer life

Warwick Marsh

 

PS We thank you for your support and interest in the National Strategic Summit on Marriage, Family & Fatherhood. If you would like your own copy of the Marriage Manifesto you can download it at: http://www.fatherhood.org.au/resources/marriage-manifesto.pdf

 

For your own copy of 21 Reasons Why Gender Matters please request an order form from:  info@fatherhood.org.au    

___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

 

Grandfathers be Encouraged!

 

Share bits of information such as below and from Bill Jackaman with your sons and daughters.

Put into effect some of their suggestions when spending time with your grandchildren.

Your family needs your input.

You have the wisdom and often the time to help raise the next generation.

 

Ways that Dads can Bond with their Baby

 

Though I cannot give reference I am confident of the values attached to the following:

When fathers hold their children less than 30 minutes after they are born these fathers will never abuse children. Babies moreover, quickly relate to father's voice when he has spoken to them even in the womb. Two of my sons thought I was barmy to suggest such a thing but would be quick to confirm that it's true.

 

Neil E. Ryan

Wheelers Hill 3150

 

back to top

Laughter

A woman called a local hospital. 'Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected or getting worse.'

The voice on the other end said, 'What is the patient's name and room number?'

'Sarah Finkel, room 302.' 'I'll connect you with the nursing station.'

'3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?'

'I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302.'

'Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Room 302 -- Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon.'

The woman said, 'What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!'

The nurse said, 'From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!'

'Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me anything at all!'

back to top

Single Dads

Children Need Both Their Parents 

by James Adams

I have a baby daughter pretty-much half time and love it! She's three now and she's thriving too. So far this sounds like a pretty typical doting dad, but it certainly isn't typical.

 

I call myself 'PartTimeParent', because that's what I am. You see, I work a 4-day week, and so does her mother. It's great! I'm also a single dad.

 

My daughter is a result of a very short relationship 'one which lasted only a few weeks. (There's a lesson there for me). While I can talk a lot about the details and my suspicions which surrounded the conception, I won't. I'll never say anything bad about the mother of my daughter.

 

What I will say is that I believe in fairness. Sadly, there is no fairness in divorce law. She had all the choices and I had only responsibilities.

 

She could have aborted, taken the morning-after pill, adopted the child out. And I would have no legal influence over the mother's decisions. She could have returned to work a week after the birth and put my child in long-day-care, or, on the other hand, she could have decided never to work again and to live on my C$A (Child Support). Again, these are entirely her choices and I would have to deal with the consequences of them. She could have allowed shared parenting with me, or kept me as a wallet, instead of a father, to my child.

 

My legal advice was that I would probably get 4hrs of contact a week, supervised by some nasty social-worker-type and I would have to pay this social worker for the privilege of seeing my child. I would be treated like a paedophile!

 

Why would my natural desire to be a dad to my child be put under such legal restraints? I'm a professional, clean record, not a drug addict. Nothing bad at all. I was simply a dad. And that's the rub.

 

If you're a dad, you are assumed to be bad? The mother could put my child up for adoption and I would not even be contacted (at least that is the case in the USA). She's the mother and legally she's given all the legal privileges and the assumption of innocence, sweetness and light. But as the father I'm assumed to be guilty of all accusations unless I prove otherwise. That's the law.

 

My daughter, Ella, is lucky, because she's got both her natural parents to look after her and protect her.

 

 

Children need BOTH their parents!

back to top

Special Feature

THE POWER OF PERSISTANCE

By Abraham Lincoln

 

There are no impossible situations only people who think so.  This is the most well known piece of advice that I or anyone else can give to you.  Those who succeed, those who have made their millions, one thing that they will all say, is that you have to persist.

 

One of the most dramatic examples in history of perseverance in the face of repeated defeat is in this biography.

 

His brother was born and died in 1812.

He was saved from drowning by a playmate in 1816.

He was kicked in the head by a horse and for a brief time was thought dead in 1818.

His mother died of milk poisoning in 1818.

His sister died in child birth in 1828.

He was a captain in the Black Hawk War, ends up as Private after 3 months in 1832.

He lost his job in 1832.

He also was defeated for State Legislator in 1832.

He failed in business in 1833.

He was elected to the Legislator in 1834.

His former business partner died leaving him in further debt of USD$1,000 in 1835.

He suffered the loss of his sweetheart who died in 1835.

He suffered a nervous breakdown in 1836.

He proposes marriage and is turned down, ending the courtship in 1837.

He was defeated for speaker of the State Legislator in 1838.

He breaks off his engagement after 6 months in 1841.

Had suffered from episodes of depression in 1841.

He was defeated for nomination for Congress in 1843.

He was elected for Congress in 1846.

He lost his re-nomination for Congress in 1848.

He was rejected for the position of Land Officer in 1849.

His son died in 1850.

His father died in 1851.

He was defeated for the Senate in 1854.

He was defeated for the nomination of Vice President of the United States in 1856.

He was defeated again for the Senate in 1858.

And finally Abraham Lincoln was elected President of the United States in 1860.

back to top

Thought of the Week

 


 
 
 
 
Men will spend their health 
getting wealthy,
then gladly pay all they have 
earned to get health back.
 
Mike Murdock
 
 
 
 

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All You Need is Love

These stats are from USA, but be assured the effects of no-fault divorce and de-facto relationships have the same harmful effects in any country.

 

No-fault divorce, cohabitation harmful to families

by Bryan Fischer - Renew America

September 27, 2007

 

I had the opportunity to speak earlier this week on behalf of the Idaho Values Alliance in presenting testimony to the Legislative Family Task Force chaired by Rep. Steven Thayne of Emmett.

 

Using statistics provided by the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare, I pointed out that the divorce in Idaho, while about what it was in 1970, is almost 40% higher than the national average. Also worrisome is the fact that the marriage rate in Idaho is now 60% lower than it was just a generation ago.

 

Since out-of-wedlock births in Idaho are at their highest totals in state history, the clear implication is that increasing numbers of Idahoans are cohabiting rather than entering into the solemn commitment of marriage. The effective "divorce" rate, then, is likely to be substantially higher even than the statistics indicate, since the break up of cohabiting couples does not show up in divorce summaries.

 

Cohabiting unfortunately has become increasingly acceptable, due to the sexual revolution and the rise of feminism, and there are now twelve times as many cohabiting couples in America as there were in 1960.

 

Research confirms that cohabitation is harmful for adults, the children in such homes, and for society in general. Cohabiting relationships are notoriously unstable, as cohabiting couples break up at a much higher rate than married couples, and cohabiting couples who eventually marry have a divorce rate that is 46% higher than couples who do not live together before marriage. Children pay a terrible price for the inherent instability associated with these environments.

 

The risk of domestic violence is twice as high for women in cohabiting relationships, who are nine times more likely to be killed by their partners than women in marital relationships.

 

Children in cohabiting environments are at a much greater risk of both physical and sexual abuse. In fact, the most unsafe environment for children is one in which the mother is living with someone other than the child's biological father, which is the case in the majority of cohabiting households.

 

Further, cohabiting couples report lower levels of income, sexual exclusivity and sexual satisfaction than married couples. The bottom line is that, if we care about both Idaho's adults and Idaho's children, we will support public policies that encourage marriage rather than cohabitation.

 

No-fault divorce, enacted in Idaho in 1970, has contributed to the instability of the marriage relationship by making it possible for one partner to unilaterally dissolve a marriage and break up a family, leaving spouses with no legal protection for the bond they have created.

 

As Maggie Gallagher observed, marriage "has become less binding than the average business deal. Marriage is one of the few contracts in which the law explicitly protects the defaulting party at the expense of his or her partner." No-fault divorce has contributed to a 25% increase in the rate of divorce all by itself, and has perversely contributed to an increase in cohabitation as adults have less and less confidence that a marriage commitment will receive significant legal protection.

 

Reversing the trend toward cohabitation will require a cultural awakening which re-establishes the view that personal happiness is a function of high-trust and lasting relationships.

 

But public policy changes are certainly a key element. It is probably time for Idaho legislators to revisit no-fault divorce, and perhaps replace it with a "mutual consent" plank, in which a "no-fault" divorce can only be granted if both parties agree to it, especially when minor children are still in the home.

 

Mutual consent divorce would give some leverage and bargaining power to the innocent spouse, and involves the least amount of government intrusion since the couple would work out custody and financial issues before coming into court.

 

It's worth noting that New York is the only state without no-fault divorce, and one main reason is that every time it has been proposed, feminist groups have fiercely opposed it. They recognize the exposure no-fault divorce creates for women, especially those who have left the workforce to devote their full energies to raising children. Women in such circumstances often experience a precipitous drop in their standard of living, and no-fault divorce leaves them sadly unprotected. We can, and should, do better for Idaho families.

 

© Copyright 2007 by Bryan Fischer

http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/fischer/070927

 

Bryan Fischer is the Executive Director of the Idaho Values Alliance, whose mission is to make Idaho the friendliest place in the world to raise a family. He has an undergraduate degree in Philosophy (from Stanford University) and a graduate degree in theology.

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News & Info

 

De Facto Couples Risking Ruin

Family lawyers say a growing number of men and women who split from long-term partners are losing out because they are not entitled to the same legal protection as married couples.

Most are unaware of the "cohabitation trap", in which their legal rights change automatically after two years or if they have a child together.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22503081-2,00.html

 

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I am an avid reader of your newsletter and want to keep receiving it.  Would you be able to update my email address please? 

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Thanks for your efforts to put out your weekly newsletter. I appreciate and admire your efforts to raise awareness of the issues affecting fathers and their relationships with mothers and children, and to help inspire great fathering.

 

I do have a request; do you have any links to comments made by Professor Patrick Parkinson in relation to the Family Courts current failure to consistently support shared parenting outcomes?

 

I came across a book at my local news agency/book shop on the weekend which I highly recommend. It?s called Fathers & Sons and it contains some 30 essay stories on a wide range of father and son relationships combined with some great photographs, in all 144 pages and on special for $14.95. Essays told by Todd Richissin and photographs by Jim Graham and published by Running Press.

 

It?s a great value book, thought provoking and inspiring.

 

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oasis06@bigpond.com

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

Dear God
 
I like the idea of living longer.
Does that mean I can't fill up
on cheesecake, chips, 
saturated fats 
and sugar filled donuts??.
 
Yes.
 
But I like that sort of food . . .
Do you mean to say that
When my mother used to tell me
To eat my vegetables
She was right ?? 
 
Yes.
 
Couldn't I have a little bit of sweets?!!
 
Yes . . . but make sure you eat your vegetables . . . 
 
You are starting to sound like my mother . . .
 
Well I made her too -
If you have a problem with that
Please take it up with me direct.
 

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