Received: from evaki.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.32]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 2 Mar 2008 09:16:50 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by evaki.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1JVa0g-0006pz-3y for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 02 Mar 2008 09:16:50 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id IQU03598; Sun, 2 Mar 2008 09:16:46 +1100 (EST) Received: from p1-ws008 (unknown [10.250.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 363132300A0 for ; Sat, 1 Mar 2008 17:16:44 -0500 (EST) Message-ID: <1101996111940.1101938345415.1211.8.109171502@scheduler> Date: Sat, 1 Mar 2008 17:16:44 -0500 (EST) From: Fatherhood Foundation Reply-To: info@fathersonline.org To: blane@uow.edu.au Subject: Iron John - The Masculine Journey Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_Part_1622539_965161305.1204409804165" X-Mailer: Roving Constant Contact 0 (http://www.constantcontact.com) List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8yknCQSS1V1h6P6ZYOnOabUjw== X-Return-Path-Hint: ESC1101996111940_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-Roving-ID: 1101938345415.1211 X-Lumos-SenderID: 1101938345415 X-Roving-CampaignId: 1101996111940 X-Roving-StreamId: 0 X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A090208.47C9D5D1.0023,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 Return-Path: ESC1101996111940_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-OriginalArrivalTime: 01 Mar 2008 22:16:50.0855 (UTC) FILETIME=[F2A4EB70:01C87BE9] ------=_Part_1622539_965161305.1204409804165 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3 March 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 289 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Iron John The Masculine Journey ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information service for the fathers and families as we look at the importance of a Man's influence. Apologies for the technical hitch that caused a late delivery last week of the newsletter. In This Issue Frontline...Iron John Masculine Man Laughter..Who's speeding Grandfathers...What's important in Life All You Need is Love..Forever & ever Single Dads...We need equal shared parenting Special Feature...Letting loose of the rope News & Info...Compass Dad's Prayer..Help me to be just me ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next Week Brian, Heroes & Villains ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=1101938345415] Join our Mailing List! [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=1101938345415] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYonX7ys92b5NHsgd38dTcFEvT-FKZ0EiWpqSH1kko7pMfnmEjhYXVOu6HE3JcDYA6M9mNanVdP7vZpPUs5lUNfj0YJqRm_zSJPxBGG6IgPIegQ==] Dads in Distress [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYonC26r9ex9VHPhMhUHqYUAzGtETOW_AaFDKsVVuoXvhkMJeoswyqDD0YqySXSCY99zPSjBxAhaLmvOkT-5lH5Oq4RgLKe6OoGJRUKj-y27YAVq54g0txLlI] [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYonC26r9ex9VHPhMhUHqYUAzGtETOW_AaFDKsVVuoXvhkMJeoswyqDD0YqySXSCY99zPSjBxAhaLmvOkT-5lH5Oq4RgLKe6OoGJRUKj-y27YAVq54g0txLlI] Men to Men [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYolbQYAOi8kh9LhW63_WdiLxHcpaoGqDqg_BZy7-x3PmW8N2_ROl5fG51qhC0oTPC-PP3GYhiR9vvotxocSVGgmL6Z-H6ePKVAvkNORrIpMURmmSv_cXemC1ykuJ1YV6k0k=] Malachi Global [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYonejDIYZVLxijt6UOy4eTAO5lF5Y-i-f9sGQ59vwxDe8HTJe3IE7nSKRTsFktgvFFW1_zcX47wFyxH53GsU6flIZoFqnje1EdzYAlsvmXxgGz1k0yXvcoz-znBI7F-JYIwEEgTe0VTwuA==] Marriage.com.au [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYon6fMRGggabIUKHwexU18ec71ITyvusuMoj0m6AD1qvF6wYfJy9RgqUFekoWovyclxI3yQ89SECtrR02RgyNki6G4E9_X5B2ao51v-xtw2MbQ==] Mens Awareness Network [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYolyiTktZ_pXqYWwW9DO0MFBfKrrLd-5WiTX2QipB6wVnrfVV5sMj7IArQHDmdfMOVbjMMEzqp5XJierpiOjzAN4BQSN92r6sYO6fBz1XP3FAOYhWxeGCFCg] Living Waters [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYon0w9xSm7Z7p3mhxx5reYs5CidOHjv8x2l9J9dvAFWRPAr8VnTPkjoPNfFt_KyGkiuMSsZGzVpbyILLb9APaTFV_6FoO6FbsLSHImEWgoDG3doUHvAnKUMq] [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYonVB9Y01HP1mMSQcQHwGLWy2ZJ330H8wzTdQgol3DB75zj_N34EAjdW2QsDPoiIkGlwwsD-HRYolFqIsavht3-v47PEb-fA1w8oRDaFSvFNCK7hZ9vLpLNwH12P06q5-qk=] Care for the Family - UK [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYonVB9Y01HP1mMSQcQHwGLWy2ZJ330H8wzTdQgol3DB75zj_N34EAjdW2QsDPoiIkGlwwsD-HRYolFqIsavht3-v47PEb-fA1w8oRDaFSvFNCK7hZ9vLpLNwH12P06q5-qk=] [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYonC26r9ex9VHPhMhUHqYUAzGtETOW_AaFDKsVVuoXvhkMJeoswyqDD0YqySXSCY99zPSjBxAhaLmvOkT-5lH5Oq4RgLKe6OoGJRUKj-y27YAVq54g0txLlI] Family Action Centre [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYoltJOGvTu-XgIpmB4Qx9OA4iTBfoy9vZVVniPjrOoJiO-JfYYslhI7i8AJg2i4qDut6k9GXc0A2yuwwbyGn7xheOUaDtUysJ0_RxhtqpKaHv92Rl1KmL45zzE87H-VGXaI=] CSA Adverts [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYokmGx_gk9zUy6Z9sUozWi_KlKLlOpnQvJ52MUt1zSJzQ2XJeyYu5656mOoAsa-O9SuJcU7iRx7hlrdxjdTnT6Zkp7ztJDf7vnz-XMsddiJO5y0Lwik_rUbXVq3Xo9rAjQ0EKUTaw6LB7g==] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thought of the Week When a father and son do spend long hours together, which some fathers and sons still do, we could say that a substance almost like food passes from the older body to the younger. Iron John by Robert Bly ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Frontline It's very hard not to read a book about manhood or fatherhood that does not quote something from Iron John [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYolH-KoxzR0oN3Lv0T3S3C4X7W49XkdMrul6EH4KQs_fpXM8a9EQy5DN6RDDLioKpRNiJ9lk3MBLCY24JhaacWiu6jIX03NOSK7PLMDeog34t-44HsGFcJ-jrHvOpnNCtjKU3AqcmWWQnZLFedH9jZvH] by Robert Bly, first published in 1990. Realising that I was a bit slow on the draw I decided I had better order a copy for myself. Reading some of the reviews almost put me off my purchase. One reader described it as a 'steaming hot pile of new age s**t'. Another man said in criticism that Bly asserts that 'all men are victims, even those who think they aren't'. It could be argued, in my opinion, that 20% of the book is up the creek, but the other 80% shows astounding insight. After all, most gold is found mixed with other substances. Such is the nature of life. It's always our job to separate the wheat from the chaff. I would love it if my batting average was that high. The book is almost like poetry and it 'reveals' the hidden meaning in the Brother Grimm's fairy tale of the wild man and his foster son called 'Iron John'. It reminds me of what Kind David said in one of the psalms, "I will open my dark saying on the harp". Bly weaves the story through dark sayings, spirituality, psychology, mythology and the voices of wisdom together with the voice of a poet. Being a songwriter and therefore a poet-of-sorts myself, I was greatly taken with his approach. It is a seminal work on manhood that I would recommend highly. Here is Bly, talking about the effect of too little fathering. Clearly 'father water' in the home has sunk below the reach of most wells. When the father-table, the groundwater, drops, so to speak, and there is too little father, instead of too much father, the sons find themselves in a new situation. What do they do: 'drill for new father water, ration for the father water, hoard it, distill mother water into father water? Traditional cultures still in existence seem to have plenty of father. In so-called traditional cultures, many substitute fathers work with the young man. Uncles loosen the son up, or tell him about women. Grandfathers give him stories. Warrior types teach weaponry and discipline, old men teach ritual and soul - all of them honorary fathers. . . Fathers and sons in most tribal cultures live in an amused tolerance of each other. The son has a lot to learn, and so the father and son spend hours trying and failing together to make arrowheads or to repair a spear or track a clever animal. When a father and son do spend long hours together, which some fathers and sons still do, we could say that a substance almost like food passes from the older body to the younger. The contemporary mind might want to describe the exchange between father and son as a likening of attitude, a miming, but I think a physical exchange takes place, as if some substance was passing directly to the cells. The son's body - not his mind - receives and the father gives this food at a level far below consciousness. The son does not receive a hands-on healing, but a body-on healing. His cells receive some knowledge of what an adult masculine body is. The younger body learns at what frequency the masculine body vibrates. It begins to grasp the song that adult male cells sing, and how the charming, elegant, lonely, courageous, half-shamed male molecules dance . . . Now, standing next to the father, as they repair arrowheads, or repair ploughs, or wash pistons in gasoline, or care for birthing animals, the son's body has the chance to retune. Slowly, over months or years, that son's body-strings begin to resonate to the harsh, sometimes demanding, testily humorous, irreverent, impatient, opinionated, forward-driving, silence-loving older masculine body. Both male and female cells carry marvelous music, but the son needs to resonate to the masculine frequency as well as to the female frequency. Sons who have not received this returning will have father-hunger all their lives. I think calling' he longing' 'hunger' is accurate: the young man's body lacks salt, water, or protein, just as a starving person's body and lower digestive tract lack protein. If it finds none, the stomach will eventually eat up the muscles themselves. Such hungry sons hang around older men like the homeless do around a soup kitchen. Like the homeless, they feel shame over their condition, and it is nameless, bitter, unexpungeable shame. Lovework Work on your own water table in your own home and be available to those you love. You don't want your children to have to set up a drill to find you. The cost is way too high. Yours for good 'father water' Warwick Marsh ______________________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfather of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Laughter I got stopped for speeding the other day and I thought I was almost able to talk my way out of it until the cop looked in the back seat.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Grandfathers A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door. It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him. Over the phone, his mother told him, 'Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday.' Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days. 'Jack, did you hear me?' 'Oh, sorry, . Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,' Jack said. 'Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it,' his mum told him. 'I loved that old house he lived in,' Jack said. 'You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life,' she said 'He's the one who taught me carpentry,' he said. 'I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mum, I'll be there for the funeral,' Jack said. As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away. The night before he had to return home, Jack and his mother stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly. 'What's wrong, Jack?' his mum asked. 'The box is gone,' he said 'What box?' Mum asked. 'There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'' Jack said. It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it. 'Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him,' Jack said. 'I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mum.' It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. 'Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,' the note read. Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. 'Mr. Harold Belser' it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside. 'Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life.' A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: 'Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser.' 'The thing he valued most was...my time' Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. 'Why?' Janet, his assistant asked. 'I need some time to spend with my son,' he said. 'Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All You Need is Love Forever & Ever Amen By Paul Overstreet You may think that I'm talking You've heard that I'm wild & I'm free You may wonder how I can promise you now This love that I'm feeling for you always will be You're not this time that I'm killing I'm no longer one of those guys As sure as I live this love that I give Is gonna be yours till the day that I die -- Oh baby I'm gonna love you forever, forever & ever amen As long as old men sit & talk about the weather As long as old women sit & talk about old men If you wonder how long I'll be faithful I'll be happy to tell you again I'm gonna love you forever & ever, forever & ever Amen They say that time takes it's toll on a body Makes the young girls brown hair turn grey But honey, I don't care, I'm not in love with your hair And if it all fell out well I'd love you anyway They say that time can play tricks on a memory And people forget things that they knew But it's easy to see it's happening to me I've already forgotten every woman but you --- Oh baby I'm gonna love you forever, forever & ever amen As long as old men sit & talk about the weather As long as old women sit & talk about old men If you wonder how long I'll be faithful I'll be happy to tell you again I'm gonna love you forever & ever, forever & ever Amen Just listen to how this song ends I'm gonna love you forever & ever forever & ever Forever & ever Forever & ever Amen Sung by Randy Travis [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYol3hrQmYxJnzej-O6zt3NITRBdNBh3L7YsG9gFhPinfX7lQeCrBtmvevi9mmz5Q2JNycJLXE3CwRDnAEyzhopGFaEBjvqizNl2f7CG2S6T92wFqGBEfSXBVSZgQCW_5eknvoUUdDzkPJJpob-c6n2lb] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dads The Need for Equal Shared Parenting By Simon Hunt My daughter was sent to seven different counsellors/psychologists/psychiatrists over a period of 5 years. I continually complained to the court that it was abuse of my daughter, that it was simply being done as an alternative to allowing my daughter reasonable contact with me. And when I say reasonable I'm only talking about the bare minimum. The only way this bare minimum could be maintained was by constant psychological abuse of my daughter. Weekly therapy with a physiatrist to address the anger she expressed towards her mother, for her complaints about her lies and her 'meanness' to me. 4 separate family welfare reports. My daughter had to do this just to maintain the two days, one day a month ...sometimes it stopped all together. The psychological abuse (Systems Abuse in Family Court speak) was justified as a way of investigating if contact should be restored. Finally after all the investigators had done everything the could to my poor little daughter (and doesn't the mind boggle when you think about what they were asking her, suggesting to her and showing her) finally they closed the investigation saying they had had not found any sexual abuse, a view shared by each of the three different organisations that were assessing, monitoring counselling, treating, abusing. Each time one of them closed their file, I applied to have contact restored. Each time I was denied. I realised I was in a Star Chamber' then. Finally I was denied because they'd set down a final hearing (a few months down the track). When this arrived it went for 9 days and guess what? They presented evidence that mum couldn't cope if I saw my daughter again. I was ordered to have no contact with my daughter - ever! By order of Justice Carter who wrote 330 pages of insults, precedents and character assassination of me in an attempt to justify removing me from my daughter's life. I am allowed to send my daughter a card and present at Christmas and on her birthday. I never know if she gets them. I'm not allowed to communicate with my X by any means. I'm not allowed to make any application to the court unless I first make an application for leave to make the application. I've done this once. I was denied. Now imagine how outraged the community would feel if they knew this is what happens in the Family Court. This is what children have to go through to maintain contact with their fathers when their mothers are assisted in denying their fathers contact by the courts and the practitioners. This is terrible, intentional child abuse carried out by people who are paid to do it, after having been anointed by the court to conduct their trade. They do it to win, which is what they get paid for - Win custody that is. With lawyers it's blatant, for the other practitioners it's clumsily disguised as being 'in the child's interests'. We must press our politicians to protect our children from one of their parents vilifying the other for money, and control of children, by way of the Family Court and its practitioners - by calling for RCOs - (Restoration of Contact Orders), so no parent can deny a child their other parents thereby forcing the other parent to apply to the Family Court to see their child. So that the only way this can be done (removing one parent), is by providing with hard evidence that the other PARENT is unfit, whilst in the meantime protecting the child from the all powerful interim exclusion that so often foreshadows the final outcome (usually because the court makes it too expensive by postponing again and again and authorising more psychological reports instead ,all the while claiming that they are encouraging settlement!!!). Would my daughter have had to endure 5 years of interrogation if shared parenting had been protected by law in the mean time? I don't think so. If equal shared parenting - a child's god-given right to be nurtured and protected by their father, as well as their mother, was protected by law, mothers (and sometimes fathers) would not be able to subject their child to this torment without good reason. How would all this counselling and assessment be justified it the father wasn't removed in the first place? The father certainly wouldn't support it. Fathers are forced into it thinking its the only way they can protect their child, thinking that the psychologists and practitioners have a fundamental obligation to protect the child's best interests. Ha! What a shock it is to find that nothing could be further from the truth, that it's a racket. Fuelled by a tide of cash that is so often only limited by the excluded parents desperate love of their child. Life savings, assets, resources and borrowing capacity all get sucked dry by the practitioners in a mutually exclusive fight to the death where shared parenting is rejected on principle and with the government keeping the whole thing going by funding the excluding parent with Legal Aid. The denial of contact is the alternative to contact, interim or otherwise. It's a cruel money making racket. This is the issue - all our other complaints are all products of this appalling and deliberate cruelty to children. It's the issue that can excite the media and propel the vote hungry (power hungry) pollies into action. RCOs will protect children from the Family Court mobsters unless a court can rule on applications based on evidence. This will stop the practitioners plying their dirty trade simply because one parent wants to share in the care of their children. Regards, Simon Hunt Family Law Action Group Mornington Phone: +61 (0)3 5973 6933 Mobile: 0414 415 693 vascopajama@dodo.com.au [mailto:vascopajama@dodo.com.au] http://mumsdadsandkidsagainstsolecust.blogspot.com/ [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYol_mvJbQgNpX-rBd0blF42zxXpe-sLU7ZAWf0wxH5VY5WUfiCkx-WB0cKxHCLOCsxqxLKmBoCYdXXqNJO_H1wKilRtnvdRqZSZ9ktWXQArhtgd-exB4QaUbihCRG30CJpHzDqBwLxBObQ==] http://thefamilycourtphenomenon.blogspot.com/ [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYonIYJVJGhqwFxeO91AyYKRN8BcLHDnaJUtNQDedKFEqv9kUyvemynthASMpJlG7xpCyyyq9tQ5492WwqM0vP35MxWsLNLHb2nYWx6-f6Q6oDIJ0nbqo_C2etMNYWT27ZnU=] www.dashlite.com.au [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYommlWaBdkS5Tl39GgnMJSBYyX4X0qSm5G3bFB_qTfimvWZiTCU5MSxapjq618PRINlX6VJH21cqLXQRsMOW25cmCCMw7K-e7M_KFoIenmXVaw==] "Protecting children from losing a parent after separation". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Special Feature Letting Go By Bruce Bennett I'm 49 (I think!) and my 3 kids are son (24), daughter (23), and son (18). With regard to this latest newsletter it has prompted me to send this snippet in regarding "letting loose of the rope end" of bringing up kids. My son (18) had to go the dentist and I drove him into the city to the appointment.It was his idea that I do the driving, and I was happy to be involved. We had been waiting in the waiting room for a while when we decided that it was time for a check to see how much longer. Now my son is quiet, reserved, and in general finds it hard to "approach' people, so wanting to 'be' the Dad and do the Dad thing I said, "I'll go and check to see how much longer", to which my son quickly grabbed my arm and said, "NO DAD I'll do it", to which he immediately got up and did what he needed to do. Now, I understand the fact that he is growing up and I have no problems with that, but what hit me was...my son doesn't need me anymore...well that's how it felt anyway and I know that this thought was exclusive to me, but it highlighted the turning point that AS A DAD I LOVE TO DO THINGS FOR MY KIDS BUT THERE COMES A TIME WHEN WE HAVE TO LET GO! For me/us it was my son who determined this time...and guess what? He still comes home to raid OUR fridge, wash his clothes with OUR washing machine etc etc etc. The other scenario was with my daughter who had left home a couple of months ago and my wife gave her (without my consent) our daughter's good doona. To set the stage, about 18 months ago my daughter had been given an expensive doona and the cat had urinated on it. Well it took a couple of days before I said to her that she needs to wash it and since I had become a Home Dad with my wife working full time I wanted her to take responsibility for it and not leave it up to me, which she had been doing in most areas for quite some time. Anyway, after the 5th day I took it and washed it and stuck to my word that if I washed it by myself she would not get it back as opposed to her washing it and I'll bring it in; in other words a team effort! Well, for the next 12 months she kept demanding it back, to which I responded by sticking to my guns. Eventually she accepted the consequences but I never got an apology which would have seen her get the doona back. With my daughter receiving the doona from her Mum (who knew nothing of the saga) secretly behind my back, without consulting me, this gave way to me once again feeling that as a DAD I wasn't respected for my principles of teaching my daughter how to be accountable to herself and others. Once again the feelings were my own but it did bring home to me that my daughter would learn these principles, with or without me. I JUST WISHED IT WAS WITH ME, HER DAD... BUT on the flip side MY DAUGHTER still rings to ask for advice and often shares with me how the Lord is teaching her to take responsibility for herself & others...! (Either way it is STILL a Father that gets to have the input- God, you're good) to which I say, even if it's small, I'M STILL NEEDED! Yippeeeeee etc etc Signed Another DAD (a title like MUM, that does NOT mean slave!) Bruce Bennett has three children and lives in Victoria, Australia. He is a trumpet player and At Home Dad www.bruceontrumpet.com [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYonK1pyeAomtUs69XdsK8eiKBAT9kU75sMYu88RM_fwllPtDiDdHKMM6s_YycwbbX13L0_Oxqi3zOgWp8AuBb22CqT2pADPQbmBcSi2vFOeYcJxNAft-ye4z] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ News & Info COMPASS: MEN of MEANS (Australian Men: Pt 2) Sunday 2nd March at 22:15 ABC1 ABCTV Following the success of our three-part dinner series with women, Geraldine now turns her attention to Aussie men to find out what matters to them and what doesn't in the 21st century. What's important to the High Flyers. _____________________________________________________________________________ To educate or not to educate..that is the question. Read the radical approach to financing education in Sweden with vouchers. Foolow the link below: Made in Sweden-The new Tory Revolution [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=0010FzN9xcpYonybNpYd7QDO42U_HxfIU76EbPUyESBXA4_-IKw4MXEzodEpgvS3gL5DtMwtqJyX4l4oi06Iyc8emTJ9NEYdEj4oQ-wRuUjuuMharzF43tgo3tULniHuY3cp0fmEUdwyJvuGqCFwlPAwcgplyFDxwumWrtXxGIHsNGsXOB4NANy9x1bSMhv9I_BpiTjYVsHTjGlsIYNrE8RHgsL4cguUFHTufQ2lnelCDU=] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dad's Prayer Dear God Teach me how important it is Just to BE with my children. In me BEING, they BECOME. One day I will stop being on this earth and so I must teach them how to become before I leave. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Forward email http://ui.constantcontact.com/sa/fwtf.jsp?m=1101938345415&ea=blane@uow.edu.au&a=1101996111940 This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by info@fathersonline.org Update Profile/Email Address http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8yknCQSS1V1h6NT3YVS8xLqmdZSCOGDAPm4N43CBc5nyCv0cvCCnArJ6A%3D%3D&p=oo Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(TM) http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8yknCQSS1V1h6NT3YVS8xLqmdZSCOGDAPm4N43CBc5nyCv0cvCCnArJ6A%3D%3D&p=un Privacy Policy: http://ui.constantcontact.com/roving/CCPrivacyPolicy.jsp Email Marketing by Constant Contact(R) www.constantcontact.com Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia ------=_Part_1622539_965161305.1204409804165 Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
=09 =09
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3D"FF
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3  March 2008 &nb= sp;         Inspi= ring Fathers   Encouraging Families Issue 289
=09=09 =09=09 =09 =09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09=09 =09 =09 =09=09 =09 =09=09=
Iron John
The Masculine Journey
 
=09
=09=09
Dear Brian,

Welc= ome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information service f= or the fathers and families as we look at the importance of a Man's influen= ce.
Ap= ologies for the technical hitch that caused a late delivery last week of th= e newsletter.
=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Iron John Masculine Man
Laughter..Who's speeding
Grandfathers...What's important in Life
All You Need is Love..Forever & ever
Single Dads...We need equal shared parenting<= /td> =09=09
Special Feature...Letting loose of the rope =09=09
News & Info...Compass
Dad's Prayer..Help me to be just me
Next Week Brian,   =
Heroes = & Villains
 =09=09=09=09 =09=09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09=09
Quick Links<= /strong>
 
 
 
=09
=09=09
T= hought of the Week
    =20
 
 

3D"Father<= /strong>When a father and son

do spend long hours together,

which some= fathers

  and sons still do,

we could s= ay that

a substance

almost like food

passes fro= m the

older body

to the younger.

 = ;

Iron John by Robert B= ly

<= table style=3D"margin-bottom:6px;" id=3D"content_LETTER.BLOCK10" width=3D"1= 00%" border=3D"0" hidefocus=3D"true" tabindex=3D"0" cellspacing=3D"0" cols= =3D"0" cellpadding=3D"5" contenteditable=3D"inherit" datapagesize=3D"0">
Frontline
  =20

3D"Father=It's very hard not to read a b= ook about manhood or fatherhood that does not quote something from Iron John by Robert Bly, first published in 1990.

 

Realising that I was a b= it slow on the draw I decided I had better order a copy for myself. Reading= some of the reviews almost put me off my purchase. One reader described it= as a 'steaming hot pile of new age s**t'. Another man said in criticism th= at Bly asserts that 'all men are victims, even those who think they aren't'= .

 

It could be argued, in my opinion, th= at 20% of the book is up the creek, but the other 80% shows astounding insi= ght. After all, most gold is found mixed with other substances. Such is the= nature of life. It's always our job to separate the wheat from the chaff. = I would love it if my batting average was that high.

 

The book is almost like poetry and it= 'reveals' the hidden 3D"Ironmeani= ng in the Brother Grimm's fairy tale of the wild man and his foster son cal= led 'Iron John'. It reminds me of what Kind David said in one of the psalms= , "I will open my dark saying on the harp". Bly weaves the story through da= rk sayings, spirituality, psychology, mythology and the voices of wisdom to= gether with the voice of a poet. Being a songwriter and therefore a poet-of= -sorts myself, I was greatly taken with his approach. It is a seminal work = on manhood that I would recommend highly.

 

Here is Bly, talking about the effect= of too little fathering.

 

<= span style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-language: EN-= US">Clearly 'father water' in the home has sunk below the reach of most wel= ls.

 

<= span style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-language: EN-= US">When the father-table, the groundwater, drops, so to speak, and there i= s too little father, instead of too much father, the sons find themselves i= n a new situation.  What do t= hey do: 'drill for new father water, ration for the father water, hoard it,= distill mother water into father water?

 

<= span style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-language: EN-= US">Traditional cultures still in existence seem to have plenty of father. = In so-called traditional cultures, many substitute fathers work with the yo= ung man. Uncles loosen the son up, or tell him about women. Grandfathers gi= ve him stories. Warrior types teach weaponry and discipline, old men teach = ritual and soul - all of them honorary fathers. . . 

 

<= span style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-language: EN-= US">Fathers and sons in most tribal cultures live in an amused tolerance of= each other. The son has a lot to learn, and so the father and son spend ho= urs trying and failing together to make arrowheads or to repair a spear or = track a clever animal. When a father and son do spend long hours together, = which some fathers and sons still do, we could say that a substance almost = like food passes from the older body to the younger.

 

<= span style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-language: EN-= US">The contemporary mind might want to describe the exchange between fathe= r and son as a likening of attitude, a miming, but I think a physical excha= nge takes place, as if some substance was passing directly to the cells. Th= e son's body - not his mind - receives and the father gives this food at a = level far below consciousness. The son does not receive a hands-on healing,= but a body-on healing. His cells receive some knowledge of what an adult m= asculine body is. The younger body learns at what frequency the masculine b= ody vibrates. It begins to grasp the song that adult male cells sing, and h= ow the charming, elegant, lonely, courageous, half-shamed male molecules da= nce . . .

 

<= span style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-language: EN-= US">Now, standing next to the father, as they repair arrowheads, or repair = ploughs, or wash pistons in gasoline, or care for birthing animals, the son= 's body has the chance to retune. Slowly, over months or years, that son's = body-strings begin to resonate to the harsh, sometimes demanding, testily h= umorous, irreverent, impatient, opinionated, forward-driving, silence-lovin= g older masculine body. Both male and female cells carry marvelous music, b= ut the son needs to resonate to the masculine frequency as well as to the f= emale frequency.

 

<= span style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-language: EN-= US">Sons who have not received this returning will have father-hunger all t= heir lives. I think calling' he longing' 'hunger' is accurate: the young ma= n's body lacks salt, water, or protein, just as a starving person's body an= d lower digestive tract lack protein. If it finds none, the stomach will ev= entually eat up the muscles themselves. Such hungry sons hang around older = men like the homeless do around a soup kitchen. Like the homeless, they fee= l shame over their condition, and it is nameless, bitter, unexpungeable sha= me.

 

= Lovework

 

Work on your own water table in your = own home and be available to those you love. You don't want your children t= o have to set up a drill to find you. The cost is way too high.

 

Yours for good 'father water'<= /p>

Warwick Marsh

__________________________= ____________________________________________________

 

Warwick Marsh  = ;has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfather o= f two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging= in age from 27 years to 15 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwr= iter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at = himself.

=09=09
Laughter<= /font>
=  

I got stopped for speed= ing the other day and I thought I was almost able to talk my way out of it = until the cop looked in the back seat....

 
3D"Doggy"
Grandfathers
 =20

= A young man learns what's most important

= in life from the guy next door.

 

It had been some time since Jack had= seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. = In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. Ther= e, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the pa= st and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his = future, and nothing could stop him.3D"Pocket

 

Over the phone, his mother told him,= 'Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday.' Memories flashed t= hrough his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his chil= dhood days.

 

'Jack, did you hear me?'

 

'Oh, sorry, . Yes, I heard you. It's= been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he = died years ago,' Jack said.

'Well, he didn't forget you. Every t= ime I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many da= ys you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it,' his mum told him. =

 

'I loved that old house he lived in,= ' Jack said.

 

'You know, Jack, after your father d= ied, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your l= ife,' she said

 

'He's the one who taught me carpentr= y,' he said. 'I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spen= t a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mum, I'll be= there for the funeral,' Jack said.

&n= bsp;      

As busy as he was, he kept his word.= Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was smal= l and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives = had passed away.

 

The night before he had to return ho= me, Jack and his mother stopped by to see the old house next door one more = time.

&n= bsp;      

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused= for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap thr= ough space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step hel= d memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenl= y.

 

'What's wrong, Jack?' his mum asked.=

 

'The box is gone,' he said

 

'What box?' Mum asked.

 

'There was a small gold box that he = kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what= was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'' Jack said= .

&n= bsp;      

It was gone. Everything about the ho= use was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured some= one from the Belser family had taken it.

 

'Now I'll never know what was so val= uable to him,' Jack said. 'I better get some sleep. I have an early flight = home, Mum.'

 

It had been about two weeks since Mr= . Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in hi= s mailbox. 'Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by= the main post office within the next three days,' the note read.

&n= bsp;     

Early the next day Jack retrieved th= e package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundr= ed years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address= caught his attention. 'Mr. Harold Belser' it read. Jack took the box out t= o his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an= envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

&n= bsp;     

'Upon my death, please forward this = box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my li= fe.' A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears fillin= g his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beauti= ful gold pocket watch.

&n= bsp;      

Running his fingers slowly over the = finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words e= ngraved:

&n= bsp;      

'Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold= Belser.'

&n= bsp;      

'The thing he valued most was...my t= ime'

&n= bsp;      

Jack held the watch for a few minute= s, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two day= s. 'Why?' Janet, his assistant asked.

&n= bsp;      

'I need some time to spend with my s= on,' he said.

&n= bsp;      

'Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for y= our time!'

All You Need is Love
 

Forever & Ever Amen=

By Paul Overstreet3D"Couple

 

You may think that I'm ta= lking 
You've heard that I'm wild & I'm free
You may wonder= how I can promise you now
This love that I'm feeling for you always w= ill be
You're not this time that I'm killing
I'm no longer one of= those guys
As sure as I live this love that I give
Is gonna be y= ours till the day that I die -- Oh baby

I'm gonna love you forev= er, forever & ever amen
As long as old men sit & talk about the weathe= r
As long as old women sit & talk about old men
If you wonder how= long I'll be faithful
I'll be happy to tell you again
I'm gonna = love you forever & ever, forever & ever Amen

They say that time = takes it's toll on a body
Makes the young girls brown hair turn greyBut honey, I don't care, I'm not in love with your hair
And if it = all fell out well I'd love you anyway
They say that time can play tric= ks on a memory
And people forget things that they knew
But it's e= asy to see it's happening to me
I've already forgotten every woman but= you --- Oh baby

I'm gonna love you forever, forever & ever amen=
As long as old men sit & talk about the weather
As long as old w= omen sit & talk about old men
If you wonder how long I'll be faithful<= br />I'll be happy to tell you again
I'm gonna love you forever & ever= , forever & ever Amen

Just listen to how this song ends
I'm= gonna love you forever & ever forever & ever
Forever & ever Forever &= ever Amen

 

Sung by Randy Travis

=09=09 =09=09
Single Dads

 

 = ;

= The Need for Equal Shared Parentin= g

By Simon Hunt

 

My daughter was sent to seven 3D"Womandifferent counsellors/psychologists/psych= iatrists over a period of 5 years. I continually complained to the court th= at it was abuse of my daughter, that it was simply being done as an alterna= tive to allowing my daughter reasonable contact with me. And when I say rea= sonable I'm only talking about the bare minimum. The only way this bare min= imum could be maintained was by constant psychological abuse of my daughter= .

 

Weekly therapy with a physiatrist to address the anger= she expressed towards her mother, for her complaints about her lies and he= r 'meanness' to me. 4 separate family welfare reports. My daughter had to d= o this just to maintain the two days, one day a month ...sometimes it stopp= ed all together. The psychological abuse (Systems Abuse in Family Court spe= ak) was justified as a way of investigating if contact should be restored.<= /font>

 

Finally after all the investigators had done everythin= g the could to my poor little daughter (and doesn't the mind boggle when yo= u think about what they were asking her, suggesting to her and showing her)= finally they closed the investigation saying they had had not found any se= xual abuse, a view shared by each of the three different organisations that= were assessing, monitoring counselling, treating, abusing. Each time one o= f them closed their file, I applied to have contact restored. Each tim= e I was denied. I realised I was in a Star Chamber' then. Finally I was den= ied because they'd set down a final hearing (a few months down the track). = When this arrived it went for 9 days and guess what? They presented evidenc= e that mum couldn't cope if I saw my daughter again.  I was order= ed to have no contact with my daughter - ever! By order of= Justice Carter who wrote 330 pages of insults, precedents and character as= sassination of me in an attempt to justify removing me from my daughte= r's life.

 

I am allowed to send my daughter a card and present at= Christmas and on her birthday. I never know if she gets them. I'm not= allowed to communicate with my X by any means. I'm not allowed to make any= application to the court unless I first make an application for leave to m= ake the application. I've done this once. I was denied.

 

Now imagine how outraged the community would feel= if they knew this is what happens in the Family Court. This is what childr= en have to go through to maintain contact with their fathers when thei= r mothers are assisted in denying their fathers contact by the courts and t= he practitioners.

 

This is terrible, intentional child abuse carried out = by people who are paid to do it, after having been anointed by the court to= conduct their trade. They do it to win, which is what they get paid for - = Win custody that is. With lawyers it's blatant, for the other practitioners= it's clumsily disguised as being 'in the child's interests'.

  

We must press our politicians to protect our children = from one of their parents vilifying the other for money, and control of chi= ldren, by way of the Family Court and its practitioners - by calling f= or RCOs - (Restoration of Contact Orders), so no parent can deny a child th= eir other parents thereby forcing the other parent to apply to the Family C= ourt to see their child. So that the only way this can be done (removing on= e parent), is by providing with hard evidence that the other PARENT is unfi= t, whilst in the meantime protecting the child from the all powerful interi= m exclusion that so often foreshadows the final outcome (usually because th= e court makes it too expensive by postponing again and again and autho= rising more psychological reports instead ,all the while claiming that they= are encouraging settlement!!!).

 

Would my daughter have had to endure 5 years of interr= ogation if shared parenting had been protected by law in the mean time? I d= on't think so.

 

3D"SplitIf e= qual shared parenting - a child's god-given right to be nurtured and protec= ted by their father, as well as their mother, was protected by law, mothers= (and sometimes fathers) would not be able to subject their child to this t= orment without good reason.

 

How would all this counselling and assessment be justi= fied it the father wasn't removed in the first place? The father certainly = wouldn't support it. Fathers are forced into it thinking its the only way t= hey can protect their child, thinking that the psychologists and practition= ers have a fundamental obligation to protect the child's best interests. Ha= ! What a shock it is to find that nothing could be further from the tr= uth, that it's a racket. Fuelled by a tide of cash that is so often only li= mited by the excluded parents desperate love of their child. Life savings, = assets, resources and borrowing capacity all get sucked dry by the practiti= oners in a mutually exclusive fight to the death where shared parenting is = rejected on principle and with the government keeping the whole thing going= by funding the excluding parent with Legal Aid.  

 

The denial of contact is the alternative to contact, i= nterim or otherwise. It's a cruel money making racket.

 

This is the issue - all our other complaints are all p= roducts of this appalling and deliberate cruelty to children. It's the issu= e that can excite the media and propel the vote hungry (power hungry) polli= es into action.

 

RCOs will protect children from the Family Court mobst= ers unless a court can rule on applications based on evidence. This wi= ll stop the practitioners plying their dirty trade simply because one paren= t wants to share in the care of their children.

 

Regards,
Simon Hunt
Family Law Action Group<= br />Mornington
Phone: +61 (0)3 5973 6933
Mobile: 0414 415 693vascopajama@dodo.com.au
http://mumsdadsandkidsagainstsolecust.= blogspot.com/
http://thefamilycourt= phenomenon.blogspot.com/
www.dashlite.com.au

 

"Protecting children from losing a parent after separa= tion".

 

 

Special Feature
 
 =20

= Let= ting Go

By Bruce Bennett3D"Bruce

 

I'm 49 (I think!) and my 3 kids are = son (24), daughter (23), and son (18).

With regard to this latest newslette= r it has prompted me to send this snippet in regarding "letting loose of th= e rope end" of bringing up kids.

 

My son (18) had to go the dentist an= d I drove him into the city to the appointment.It was his idea that I do th= e driving, and I was happy to be involved.

 

We had been waiting in the waiting r= oom for a while when we decided that it was time for a check to see how muc= h longer. Now my son is quiet, reserved, and in general finds it hard to "a= pproach' people, so wanting to 'be' the Dad and do the Dad thing I said, "I= 'll go and check to see how much longer", to which my son quickly grabbed m= y arm and said, "NO DAD I'll do it", to which he immediately got up and did= what he needed to do. Now, I understand the fact that he is growing up and= I have no problems with that, but what hit me was...my son doesn't need me= anymore...well that's how it felt anyway and I know that this thought was = exclusive to me, but it highlighted the turning point that AS A DAD I LOVE = TO DO THINGS FOR MY KIDS BUT THERE COMES A TIME WHEN WE HAVE TO LET GO! For= me/us it was my son who determined this time...and guess what? He still co= mes home to raid OUR fridge, wash his clothes with OUR washing machine etc = etc etc.

 

The other scenario was with my daugh= ter who had left home a couple of months ago and my wife gave her (without = my consent) our daughter's good doona. To set the stage, about 18 months ag= o my daughter had been given an expensive doona and the cat had urinated on= it. Well it took a couple of days before I said to her that she needs to w= ash it and since I had become a Home Dad with my wife working full time I w= anted her to take responsibility for it and not leave it up to me, which sh= e had been doing in most areas for quite some time. Anyway, after the 5th day I took it and washed it and stuck to my word that if I washed= it by myself she would not get it back as opposed to her washing it and I'= ll bring it in; in other words a team effort! Well, for the next 12 months = she kept demanding it back, to which I responded by sticking to my guns. Ev= entually she accepted the consequences but I never got an apology which wou= ld have seen her get the doona back.

 

With my daughter receiving the doona= from her Mum (who knew nothing of the saga) secretly behind my back, witho= ut consulting me, this gave way to me once again feeling that as a DAD I wa= sn't respected for my principles of teaching my daughter how to be accounta= ble to herself and others. Once again the feelings were my own but it did b= ring home to me that my daughter would learn these principles, with or with= out me.

 

I JUST WISHED IT WAS WITH ME, HER DA= D...

 

BUT on the flip side MY DAUGHTER sti= ll rings to ask for advice and often shares with me how the Lord is teachin= g her to take responsibility for herself & others...! (Either way it is STI= LL a Father that gets to have the input- God, you're good) to= which I say, even if it's small, I'M STILL NEEDED! Yippeeeeee etc etc

 

Signed

Another DAD (a title like MUM, that does NOT mean slave!)

 

Bruce Bennett has three children and lives in Victoria, Austral= ia. He is a trumpet player and At Home Dad www.bruceontrumpet.com

 
 

 

News & Info
3D"News

COMPASS: MEN of MEANS (Australian Men: Pt 2)
Sunday 2nd&= nbsp;March at 22:15 ABC1


ABC TV

Following the success of our three-part dinner series with women, Gerald= ine now turns her attention to Aussie men to find out what matters to them = and what doesn't in the 21st century.
What's important to the Hi= gh Flyers.

 _____________________= ________________________________________________________
 
To educate or not to educate..that is the question.
Read the radical approach to financing education in Sweden with vouche= rs. Foolow the link below:
 
D= ad's Prayer
  &= nbsp;  3D"Dad

<= font color=3D"#330033">Dear God

 

<= font color=3D"#330033">Teach me how important it is

<= font color=3D"#330033">Just to BE with my children.

<= font color=3D"#330033">In me BEING, they BECOME.

<= font color=3D"#330033">One day I will stop being on this earth

<= font color=3D"#330033">and so I must teach them how to become=

<= font color=3D"#330033">before I leave.

 

=09 =09
=09=09 =09=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fu= nd
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a r= eceipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 = 695
A/C: 25-5558

 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW&nb= sp; 2520
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

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This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by i= nfo@fathersonline.org
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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