Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.31]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 6 Apr 2008 08:36:20 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1JiGzk-0005fx-9F for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 06 Apr 2008 08:36:20 +1000 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id JNP47132; Sun, 6 Apr 2008 08:36:15 +1000 (EST) Received: from p1-ws008 (unknown [10.250.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 600A198E37 for ; Sat, 5 Apr 2008 22:36:14 +0000 (UTC) Message-ID: <1102046323034.1101938345415.1211.8.125183502@scheduler> Date: Sat, 5 Apr 2008 18:36:14 -0400 (EDT) From: Fatherhood Foundation Reply-To: info@fathersonline.org To: blane@uow.edu.au Subject: Going Surfing Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_Part_24183024_1810244277.1207434974368" X-Mailer: Roving Constant Contact 0 (http://www.constantcontact.com) List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykC0kQAx_n_YfloodgjO3TzA== X-Return-Path-Hint: ESC1102046323034_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-Roving-ID: 1101938345415.1211 X-Lumos-SenderID: 1101938345415 X-Roving-CampaignId: 1102046323034 X-Roving-StreamId: 0 X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A150205.47F7FEE4.0006,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 Return-Path: ESC1102046323034_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-OriginalArrivalTime: 05 Apr 2008 22:36:20.0521 (UTC) FILETIME=[78470990:01C8976D] ------=_Part_24183024_1810244277.1207434974368 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ 31st March 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 293 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Going Surfing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for the fathers and families as we look at Going Surfing and hanging out with y= our children. In This Issue Frontline...Going Surfing Like Father like Son Laughter..Serious Evidence Grandfathers...Trust the Creator All You Need is Love..Marriage is Best Single Dads...Family Court Petition Special Feature...Carey's telling Silence News & Info..Kids on the loose Dad's Prayer..Grab the opportunity ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Next Week Sins of the Father Confessions of a Mafia Hitman ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D1101938345415] Join our Mailing List! [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D11= 01938345415] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-ePbaPTAhUX6jM= xqSIIEf6PHRfGx9VOBwK2-yaJKw2MsCZmKuO7L5ieRkZgvPccmzAXCHgVrtWDy7xua1Wi-MlMLU= ymy7M98FfMwnGaTxxCvZw=3D=3D] Dads in Distress [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-eNbGUgAym0YbviVLhb3= NzbQTc_Q3qXDzoabr2U-HsUbkasYh-dSfeSi3bu8HtabPYcXM2sW8OYMe99AHo45qOeLnZrsxah= 4eya0FE7GPEIo-UBT_XMa9bwo] Men to Men [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-eMlG0k3ZowPFIQB104c3aAKdp= MWsFe3kRSmIfyJle52YHCEqu22ehCtlNKp_QlOhI_0NNh1Ym-2NV5vt6C4peq4ws9WHyIK5I1-x= uvFUVwNIt20_n-8PAq-4RoX6KWi5fo=3D] Malachi Global [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-eNdUaaXAIOpWSDXM2rRIn= bP0DiA-x-PrvoXCcKC1kZemBIihXfwMobv3sZn58bTZnNYAa8q4pPm1jrZAgGlYR0hB1Z9Ym8sO= 4x1yEWDe4qU3pyGwZGF0abrB6HcZVHgvODLlcX5ZZ2zZw=3D=3D] Choicez.com [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-eOKDv4hSXX6okCpqivEC1cCR= eFEIXHK2OhJ_AA5slYQ7TyyodPozl_jx4JsN4XCUtpKr4AulfOiUgX0h5y9A4sBDYl4Ic2TxMF_= T71k4I_2yg=3D=3D] Beyond Blue [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-eNIOr-eVuNE5lGXTE4Vqs-yT= 7fJYrRcK6dorXVl77vYaxFLx-rEOWvnfO7xUkePNUt08CKMd-LDVp4JjyLmTFrRvuIg0XgELvDa= Wt2rcl7Hn74xqDm9sVzTSrPGj02aFbU=3D] Australian Family Association [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-ePaS79= 9oPD2kMJ9ONLewN9uUT2s6Bxy--HavF3LQqFRKtTBWFKrlvVg1dUN0G3E4hul95nsiV5BbkPKGI= iJXeYkKqHnk2wwe-jezKq-sB58_g=3D=3D] Fathers & Daughters [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-eNGfeMuILk07X5iL= 8LDz8vmGutOo7dZRrFN5HCBZ5MVN7LGS5Gz6O0ohFIHF5jWA0LaQfGbcO7iadzQFR8qpAZn3zIU= KVkZdBdtLs62wZcu9TDzTON_APdP] Raising Children Network (Aus) [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-ePBxh= NobmmVRe9AJWkhKBo8z_R5xkMkGQmotX-d7By-0rmRRLhoFjUVE9jSk5oAwFmwD7_BNgBjXmpas= Te-cfV4kujPGmAPtVIIauKOcX4QoyBGpY78BYOR] CSA Adverts [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-eNoV0aY_BBA19DsqtS8247VK= TElFcWwkg-P8iqypepz_gxv7HvEA34AcsJfcf-l6qSnMBc10ewHCWQ9H3yGykZJHarRdmrlYzUY= nelWvOIVZL0I2_gPIqiY7jYs5UHWrGF-EFtymX1qMA=3D=3D] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Thought of the Week Opportunities for meaningful communication between fathers and sons must be created. And it's work to achieve. James Dobson ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Frontline In my younger years I used to surf waves every weekend - religiously. I was= so devoted to surfing that my fianc=E9e was referred to as a 'surf widow'. Mind you Al= ison wasn't the only surf widow in my group of friends. Surfing was one of those pastim= es that required a high level of commitment. Even after getting married in 1975, my= commitment to surfing continued to grow. In 1978 our band, Living Water, laid the soun= dtrack down for a surfing movie with a message, called 'Living Water'. When this f= ilm was released we even played at the Sydney Opera House Theatre as part of the pr= emiere celebrations. Again in 1981 we helped produce and record the soundtrack for= a surfing, biking and skiing movie called 'Anyone Can'. However when my eldest son was born in 1981 something had to give, and you = can guess what it was. My surf board started to get cobwebs on it. When my second son= was=20 born I stopped playing in the church soccer team. When number three came al= ong even my guitar strings got a bit rusty, not to mention my playing. One could call this process that of 'death to self'. However I was just pla= ying=20 catch up to my wife's amazing commitment to carry each of our children for = nine=20 months, with all the associated discomfort, and go through the painful proc= ess of childbirth, not once or twice but five times over a period of 11 years. The= re should have been six children but Alison had a miscarriage with number 5. It was h= ard for both of us, but especially for Alison. So you see, I was merely catching up= with my wife's commitment in this process of 'dying to self'. Alison had accept= ed the night feeds, sleepless nights and constant backlog of housework and laundry= . I wish I could say that I was more helpful, but I was busy in my own little world = of business, or at least that was my excuse. The good news I want to tell you about today is that, "Out of death comes l= ife". Several weeks ago, my third son, a mad keen surfer just like I was (DNA sur= e is=20 interesting), asked me to go surfing with him and his friends. The water wa= s sparkling beautifully as we paddled out in the early morning sunshine into the take-o= ff zone. Fortunately my gym training helped me paddle out the back through the white= water. This is of course another reason dads should try to keep fit, so that they = can grab the opportunities to be with their children when the situation arises. We have been out surfing a few times over the last several weeks and I have= really enjoyed the process. Not just the surfing but the magnificence of creation = itself, first thing in the morning. Even better is the ritual of the big breakfast = afterwards with my son and his friends. Just to hang out and 'chill', as they say in s= urfing lingo. Money can't buy those opportunities and for me that sort of opportun= ity is irreplaceable. All the money on the earth could never buy them. 'Death to s= elf'=20 can be a horrible process, but there is a resurrection moment awaiting you = - make sure you grab it with both hands. You will be so glad you did! Lovework Chill out with your children. Whatever it is they are interested in, make y= ourself interested in the same. If their only interest at one year of age is food, = or trucks or teddies, it shouldn't be too hard. Children love to play and it's often = the simple things such as tickles, peek-a-boo and wrestling that they enjoy the most. When my children were about 5 or 6 years old they developed a real interest= in skate boarding. Guess what? It was time to shake the redback spiders out of my tr= ucks=20 on my old skateboard and practice downhill racing with the best of them. Th= e injuries were sometimes horrific but 'no pain, no gain'. On many of our musical tour= s as=20 a family across Australia it wasn't so much a journey from gig to gig but f= rom skate park to skate park. You might have to give up some of the things you want to do, but the resurr= ection is often wonderful. Are you up for it?? And guess what? They've even asked me to join the church soccer team. Yours for 'being up for it' Warwick Marsh PS A friend of mine suggested I do a media release on the disgraced footbal= ler Wayne Carey and his dysfunctional family background. I chose not to go there, eve= n though the story needs to be told. Andrew Bolt of the Herald Sun has done a great = job and we reprint his article as a Special Feature this week with Andrew's incisiv= e comment a challenge to us all. Next week we look at the story of a Mafia Killer called 'Sins of the Father= '. If nothing else we can learn what not to do. Our children deserve the best. H= appy=20 Fathering! ___________________________________________________________________________= ___ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging = in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and= public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Laughter To understand why we do what we do have a look at this link: Serious Scientific Advice about Men's Sex Drive [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D= 001gg9oxhW_-eNRFcZ2zXJSCUdgrBKhfKR4u9xCkoLmVAr-6Ky3FFTzrRXa54oypN9mvl0x7W5t= MV4L-pSM7BseH6SCvTVrDPpFeXzbNDk14XQ6klqRFNCSRmevyWFa5ub4uCxBzaIXqN8OuG9Nab6= 87g=3D=3D] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Grandfathers All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen. Ralph Waldo Emerson ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ All You Need is Love . Marriage is Best for Happy Families By Harry Benson Western Daily Press (UK) April 3, 2008 www.bcft.co.uk [http://ui.constantcontact.com/visualeditor/www.bcft.co.uk] The following is an extract from an article regarding marriage rates in the= United Kingdom. Australia's marriage rates [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-= eM1-ytS2Zj5dSNzi8s-4_atE1nnfhwAIOLUXoUzObacf-SKTLqXwj6_Sh-mJCC6DU2adpKN5Lnk= gp7ZyrDqjCxCKoC5EmI-KUgq-Ot7aAsYTRJAUxQIn76UxtAV5eYphhdA-mamLtnd7pe6NPCg9zN= NFkQ5KAQWLjiM1RVxA6oC7Pee9GbkiVsdv5hlVOSkwnc3tS4vZDEiZ8mFImcTz681N95Sgy6Zd2= cHz0Vz8emH7nRQ9XkSi03c] (see graph at this link) are on the increase so much of the information is = irrelevant. However the following points are very interesting. Two years ago, I conducted the largest-ever analysis of family breakdown in= the=20 UK, based on the Millennium Cohort Study of 15,000 mothers who had three-ye= ar-old children. Even when comparing couples of similar age, income, education, and ethnic b= ackground, unmarried parents were still more than twice as likely to split up during t= his period. In fact, the single biggest influence on whether a couple stayed together o= r split up was not income or education - although these matter. It was whether coup= les were married or not. Something about being married matters a great deal. The lat= est research evidence suggests the difference lies in the attitudes and behaviours that = are more often found among married couples. It's not so much marriage but what marriage represents. One of the most compelling findings is that men and women commit in differe= nt ways. Women tend to commit when they live with a partner. Men tend to commit when= they make a clear decision about their future. Men who slide into a relationship - as do many unmarried couples - tend to = have=20 lower levels of commitment compared to men who make clear decisions about t= heir=20 future. Deciding to pop the question may not be the only way for a man to show life= long=20 commitment. But it is the clearest possible sign a woman can get. So the question for policy-makers really ought to be how to increase the na= tional stock of commitment or "dedication". In particular, how can we encourage me= n to=20 make clear decisions about their future? Instead of pretending that it doesn't matter whether a couple marries or no= t, the Government should be sending clear signals that it values and supports marr= iage. Instead of providing the current financial incentive for couples to live a= part, or pretend to do so, the Government should remove this penalty and even pr= ovide a bonus to married couples. Instead of describing couples as "married or living together as if married"= on official forms and much worse, the Government should openly and unashamedly use the = language of marriage - husband, wife, and spouse. These are but signals. Perhaps the most hopeful and practical way to improv= e dedication is through relationship education. The latest short courses apply evidence-based principles that help couples = increase the quality and stability of their relationship, whether married or not. Make a visit to the website www.bcft.co.uk [http://ui.constantcontact.com/v= isualeditor/www.bcft.co.uk] and look under "tips and help" to get a good idea how to apply these sorts = of principles to your own relationship. The Bristol Community Family Trust has been pioneering effective and enjoya= ble new programmes for parents, for couples who are getting married, and other grou= ps. During the last year alone, our charity has run 70 courses for more than 90= 0 people in the greater Bristol area, through health visitors and clinics, schools, = churches and prisons. If we want to see family breakdown reversed, these are the kind of steps th= at need to be taken on a national scale. It starts with a public recognition of wha= t the research is telling us. Marriage, and the attitudes it represents, really matter. . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Single Dads A PETITION FOR REFORM OF THE AUSTRALIAN FAMILY COURT Patron Count Nikolai Tolstoy "It remains for people of good conscience to speak up about injustice, raci= sm and inequality - in our neighbourhoods, in academic debate, in political discou= rse.=20 And to question, question relentlessly. Too often people go ahead with policies and attitudes that contradict human= rights and are contrary to our vision of Australia as a place where everyone is tr= eated fairly...Ask questions publicly and demand the answers be explained clearl= y so=20 that everyone may understand...As Australians let us not be damned by our s= ilence. Or shamed by our ignorance". "We all have a responsibility to hold up to scrutiny and accountability cir= cumstances where the human rights of others are compromised" - the Hon. John von Doussa QC, President of the Australian Human Rights and= Equal Opportunity Commisssion. A Copy of Letter to the Governor General re Petition for Reform by Michael = Midgley His Excellency Major General Michael Jeffery, AC, CVO, MC Governor General of the Commonwealth of Australia Government House Dunrossil Avenue Yarralumla ACT 2600 Australia. March 27, 2008 Dear General Jeffery, On December 12, 2008, I wrote to you and asked whether you would give a sta= tement of support to the Petition and bring it to the notice of UNICEF Australia m= embers. I made this request on the basis "that as patron of UNICEF Australia, you a= re concerned for the implementation of UNCROC in all the countries of the world, includi= ng Australia, and that an important function of the Governor-General is to "encourage, ar= ticulate and represent"the social values which Australia considers to be important, = and to lend your support to individuals and groups who strive to make them a reali= ty in every day life in Australia." As you know, these values include the right of children to shared parenting= when both parents are suited to provide it (UNCROC) and the common law principl= e that alleged breaches of the law must be capable of objective determination. Maybe you can write a letter to those of influence within the Australian co= mmunity regarding the need for a presumption of equal shared parenting within the F= amily Law Act. I was originally recommended to get in touch with UNICEF Australia by Rober= t Palk of the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) (= Royal Patron: H.M. The Queen), and I refer you to his comment in the statements = of support I sent you. In the first instance, I wrote to UNICEF Australia's Executive = Committee, but had no reply. My letter to you is therefore my second approach to UNICE= F Australia. UNICEF Australia's website states UNICEF's work is guided by UNCROC, a set = of minimum international human rightsstandards for children which Australia has a lega= l responsibility to uphold in Australia in full (see the rule of international law, pacta su= nt servanda). In respect of your role as Patron of UNICEF, it is generally considered tha= t the responsibility of a Patron is to serve and act in accordance with the valu= es of the body or institution of which he or she is patron. The following are some mission statements published by UNICEF Australia on = its website: "The Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) sets out basic rights for = all children, and is the foundation of all Unicef's work." "Unicef works to protect children who have suffered from or at risk of viol= ence, exploitation and abuse". "Unicef works with governments and various organisations to bring children'= s rights to the centre of public policy". UNICEF aims to "involve everyone in creating protective environments for ch= ildren" and "to achieve equality for those who are discriminated against". I enclose the Petition statement. It has been constructed to reflect the ri= ghts=20 of children in UNCROC and consequently it is unclear how Mr. Hallett, your = secretary, can say that it would be inappropriate of you to support it. Rather, the op= posite seems true. As you know, it is sufficient in Australian family law to raise nothing mor= e concrete than suspicion about people's integrity to obtain a judgement against them,= and=20 I assume you would not wish your own integrity to be subject to the same st= andard? I would therefore ask you to clarify Mr. Hallett's statement and identify t= he principle on which it is based. If you do not reply, I will assume you regard my remarks to be fair. In view of the importance of the subject, I would very much appreciate a pe= rsonal response. Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Michael Midgley Campaign Organiser AFC Petition afcpetition@hotmail.com [mailto:afcpetition@hotmail.com] Editor's Note: We suggest that you might like to sign the petition if you a= re interested in helping Michael Midgely. This petition can be found at: http://www.dadso= ntheair.net/shows/Family_Court_Petition.pdf [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-eObYNo9jzT_gsTmppg05mO8qkhJOMgmoywpr= d1PIJy7fy4o6rooKNwfLDD4bDB6ee3X32EzhEn17IZ_6jYGjB2Q2innbWGVXqjuq-LZFcHXbPUR= _qZoc6cCk47hMvZxPjcY5p24mRtSlZ2Z9DSq_809] Michael can be contacted by email at:afcpetition@hotmail.com [mailto:afcpet= ition@hotmail.com] or maybe you would like to write to the Governor General yourself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Special Feature Carey's Telling Silence By Andrew Bolt Wednesday, April 02, 2008 at 06:01am It is what Wayne Carey didn't say on Monday about his father Kevin that con= vinced me he deserves a little mercy. He could, of course, have said plenty. Judge that by how Kevin mocked his f= amous footballer son three days ago. Clutching yet another beer, the 67-year-old told the Herald Sun his son was= "an=20 idiot" whose problems were "the piss and his d...". He jeered that Wayne, by going on Monday's Enough Rope to talk of his battl= es with drink, cocaine, police and women, was just "going for sympathy". And asked if he had a message for his son, he said he did: "You're a ....he= ad." This, on the other hand, is what Wayne said when asked on the show if his f= ather, who'd been a violent drunk, was to blame for his own failings - failings of= character that have seen the AFL's greatest player become one of its greatest pariahs= : "Look, he was a hard man. He had a very tough upbringing . . . He's mellowe= d a lot, obviously, as you do with age, and he had a tough upbringing himself, and w= e often speak about him and, yeah, I do love him. He's my father." In the contrast of those two responses - between that of the sneering fathe= r and the respectful son - is a clue to the fall of Wayne Carey, and also a sign= that he's not yet lost. But as I said, it is actually what Carey refused to say of his upbringing a= nd his father that spoke even louder. I can't breach confidences, but others who know Carey intimately will tell = you stories of his life with his father that would outrage those of us who believe ferv= ently that children thrive best on love, and some tenderness. Carey said not a word about that. He refused to reveal things that would ma= ke his harshest critics wish they'd been a little less damning. For many watching,= women especially, it might even have been Carey's get-out-of-jail pass, yet he re= fused to play it. But the little he did describe of his childhood suggested some of the rest. He conceded what was already public knowledge - that his mother had left hi= s father because she "obviously . . . had a fear of her husband". Carey, who stayed with his father and two of his siblings, said they were t= hen not allowed to bring friends home or even to see their mother for nine years. Of how his father treated them, he was guarded to the point of generous: "W= e would always have food on the table, always had clothes on the back, always got t= o school, but, yeah, he was hard." (Kevin Carey had earlier warned he'd "sue the pants" off people who claimed= he was violent to his family - claims he said were "bull....".) The worst Carey would reveal was that his father had probably watched him p= lay only one of his 272 games, and had even sold all the free tickets he got from Wa= yne to watch him lead North Melbourne into three Grand Finals. Not mentioned, either, was his father's criminal record, which involves con= victions for boozing, stealing and even holding a gun to a 16-year-old boy he wanted= to terrify. Enough Rope host Andrew Denton said his interview with a seemingly shell-sh= ocked Carey showed a man "in denial about things that he's done in his life and = where he came from, which is a violent, alcoholic father". Denton may be right, of course. Raised as he was, Carey's natural reaction = to criticism is implacable defiance. It's a quality that probably saved him his self-respect as a boy - helped m= ake him a champion footballer, too - but it's one that now makes him one troubled h= uman=20 being. Even in Monday's humiliating public confession, Carey seemed caught between= defying the worst and denying it - at least in public. Perhaps that's why he seemed almost unable to understand how his life had s= o unravelled that he's now too ashamed to even walk down the street. And, indeed, he does seem to struggle to realise a few important things. Here's one: a good father - as he claims to be - should be at home with the= young daughter he clearly adores, not off getting drunk and stoned with a model n= ot her mother. He seems not to understand, either, that he needs a cause in his life as bi= g as=20 football once was, and being a fine husband and father may give him that, f= or those are grand responsibilities that demand a lot even from the best. And maybe, as Denton claims, he indeed doesn't understand also how savagely= crippled even a man as strong as he can be by a childhood starved of gentleness and = love. But I'm not so sure of that, for reasons that tempt me to give a chance to = a man I felt ran clean out of them long ago. Maybe Carey does understand more th= an Denton thinks. Maybe the reason he didn't spend time pandering to Denton's audience with s= tories of his father's bastardry was because he's accepted that as a man himself i= t's time he took responsibility, however heavy that burden. He could blame his father, but it was Wayne himself who molested a woman, c= heated on his wife, betrayed a teammate, hung out with hoods, took drugs, assaulte= d police and boozed his brains out. And blaming his father is excusing that train wreck, not fixing the rails s= o his next train runs straight. So maybe he's not suffering from the cowering loyalty of an abused boy stil= l in=20 denial, but is instead taking charge at last - which explains the loyalty a= nd even love he still shows to a father who struggles to show much in return. That may also be why Carey excuses his father like he refuses to excuse him= self, noting that Kevin, too, had "a tough upbringing". Where would those excuses stop, once you started? A damaged boy could blame= his=20 damaged father, who could blame his damaged father, who . . . And each coul= d look back in resentment, and plead: "See, with a dad like that, what could you e= xpect?" That's a cycle that won't be broken until one son steps out and defies that= endless cause-and-effect. Rejects the excuses. Denies his past, Denton might say, a= nd builds his own future. Wayne Carey, in seeming to forgive his own father and to take responsibilit= y for his own sins, may at last be that son and that father. With strength, new purpose and the love of others-and his fierce defiance, = this=20 time directed against the past that shaped him-he may yet be proud of himse= lf. And I'm sure his daughter will be, too. Read more of Carey's Telling Silence [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_= -ePHuTzwpmb0tDKHpapflc5doIOQ4P4d-HSgQ5albFEdcKqTnnCZ6MDht6WF2bz_svQ4R8ol_G5= UQQVE5HEIs5x35ye5QMAIC9ACWiwlEhQ8tMvNDQ-VnMwBVLUQbp32A1i87ZmhkWeZpIJm8GP-kU= ANGsS5ELTPzbLQKpm5GlyGtkFAKGnf1N-LXSK7CHrxhJU4jUvyBpqk5hzt8pAbVlBUmxFp-7U7u= 8g=3D] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ News & Info NEWS LINKS Bad behaviour is dominating news at the moment. 3rd Grader plot to Kill Teacher Foiled [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxh= W_-eNKsal6lqPawWhjag2uYtym7I7R7XHh7y-DKGSayE7uAwx1f3c0U5z7GJ6nyS5hyWb2Vcxhp= 9GdK0f37QkBI7iXxaKDe_cv4jmvspP-6HlHJdCIP-9TrdSBNBmFfxMcPWfH0XuSRky37A=3D=3D= ] Decline in Marriage is Destroying our Pupils [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001= gg9oxhW_-eO1Pn4nRN1EhzIqO6HHwzKbzsLcMZt3WNVU_MZRcxS3z-0SuAhMCBSO_6_1QTAeMYZ= lekHY3emQVC4YoIMI0ZzI9RVMbojFbMoUteNUUijVMIBZI0mvD5pmjHCFFo7FTXPP9nOsCd_PeR= hgpox6JztoaakvbCi4usI99UkXRTGIMQqn69ajYMekeYdhaCEg51ymCOWejNlQaHJvVXuyDvyyq= SPqXLKvf_w=3D] Bad Behaviour in Class blamed on Indulgent parents [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e= =3D001gg9oxhW_-ePB-jCWDcNeB5PJfuzaZ8LYsMHgAh-nL_dPX2I6E7YdZHyBLquCQONyUGbs3= iRxgrg7lerwQhBAYhhYZFo79ATig0qahSBWoLzmNpirtX9j5HRnVQR9pqBWXiPuVLh9niMEr4sk= loXuW6PAf99HUcXEah14WqyXayS60aSIen8qqsRMIas5O1s7T22ITRIOT_E=3D] Taser Use in School had a Good Result [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW= _-ePY5Un-WeW-KYRJxCBHPY_MZzz0ZM3vrZahFz-1M9LwLqPyf8VuIXeNM-7SUiCb1gDo9Izgvb= uh_lmkDXVCEv9SCxTaR6QVXzson0Ohis3jhtHF2mcQVlfwQHGUgHp3qDz0yLuF1m_X-aKsvkk6x= iQDBIFEtmMD35E=3D] School Bans Unhealthy Birthday Cakes [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_= -eNUbiviA8E3jRIwck5vnxlfj0onYDSDZcrmW4up_APfqrfEgXJ16M6wC-FPID2iykDxOITShBT= Snd54JRZvl8mO6Xf_m7fdQ6kfAwjfPYDMotmLxIAgpiEt6sDmzIjrEWJabJsr4QCLjMGLwyatiM= hT3nbdDIouAVg=3D] ___________________________________________________________________________= _ HOT Stuff - Mens Health Forum Report available: Download Report from Mens Health Forum 19th March 2008 [http://rs6.net/tn.j= sp?e=3D001gg9oxhW_-eNrvqBFE76S-lWwSJSFx4_qvC5mXslZH89eJiBKhva594FCT1A2JuEJ8= imQ-DO8_yMO1tKlaNAMvSzG657i6cJkrLMEOrAIB57i5N2r399TyouCJElAwaPgIvMz5I9scoF0= M0KsTqq9gfYBvl2oJCybIwLLx4UHwrV7DwtipnEPdeJ_-CWuXLtX4P6kIcQcW4I=3D] ___________________________________________________________________________= _ Letters Dear Friends, It's on again - the overview workshop for men: Men Love Sex & Marriage. And= =20 yes, the commas in the title have been deliberately omitted. :) For more information see attached flyer, registration form, and (if you wis= h) the background paper and comments from previous participants. Please spread the word to family, friends, colleagues etc. Last year's MLS&= M workshop was a powerhouse of good male energy. About 25-30 men attended an= d we=20 covered a lot of ground (and good humour) regarding identity, relationships= and=20 sexuality. My approach is inviting and non-threatening. This year's workshop will commence on Friday evening 9th May and then resum= e Saturday 10th May - expanded on last year's format - to give us time to cover the te= rritory at a more leisurely pace. Enquiries are welcome: 0431 848 835. Registrations are by mail using the at= tached from. Regards, Noel PS. Next week I'll be advising you that my new website is up and running. T= his will give information about the full workshop series for 2008 and other services= I'm=20 offering in my private practice. NOEL GIBLETT BA, BSW, MAASW 0431 848 835 Perth Western Australia Coaching, Counselling, Psychotherapy & Spiritual Direction Groups, Workshops & Retreats MEDICARE REBATES AVAILABLE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Dad's Prayer Dear God Help me always grab the opportunity for a cuddle or a kiss. Help me always grab the opportunity, even when I seem to miss. Knowing that my actions now In spite of death Will lead to resurrection and new life. No grain of wheat abides alone - When covered over it decides To send out love, although denied. In doing so it grows again. In doing so we comprehend That life's a circle, Death's a must, We live again When we can trust. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in father= ing.=20 Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, = loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's moth= er. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessm= ent Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed,=20 or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive fut= ure emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Forward email http://ui.constantcontact.com/sa/fwtf.jsp?m=3D1101938345415&ea=3Dblane@uow.= edu.au&a=3D1102046323034 This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by info@fathersonline.org Update Profile/Email Address http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=3D001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBL= DU8ykC0kQAx_n_Ye0JHwIScDhBYt3gd57CwfyDO0nTbiGdmPnGSzDJBhAnQ%3D%3D&p=3Doo Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(TM) http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=3D001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBL= DU8ykC0kQAx_n_Ye0JHwIScDhBYt3gd57CwfyDO0nTbiGdmPnGSzDJBhAnQ%3D%3D&p=3Dun Privacy Policy: http://ui.constantcontact.com/roving/CCPrivacyPolicy.jsp Email Marketing by Constant Contact(R) www.constantcontact.com Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia ------=_Part_24183024_1810244277.1207434974368 Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
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3D"FF
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31st  March 2008 =       Inspiring Fathers   Encouraging Families Issue 293
=09=09
Going Surfing
=09=09
=09
=09=09
Dear Brian,

Welc= ome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information service f= or the fathers and families as we look at Going Surfing and hanging out wit= h your children.

=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Going Surfing Like Father like Son
Laughter..Serious Evidence
Grandfathers...Trust the Creator
All You Need is Love..Marriage is Best
Single Dads...Family Court Petition
Special Feature...Carey's telling Silence =09=09
News & Info..Kids on the loose
Dad's Prayer..Grab the opportunity
Next Week&nb= sp;
 Sins of the Father=20
Confessions of a Mafia Hitman
 =09=09=09=09 =09=09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09=09
Quick Links<= /strong>
=09
=09=09
Thought of the Week
      =20
       3D"Dad
 

Opportunities for meaningful communication <= /strong>

between fathers and sons must be created.

And it's work to achieve.

 = ;

James Dobson

<= /font>

Frontline
 
3D"Surfing"
  =20

In my younger years I used to surf wa= ves every weekend - religiously. I was so devoted to surfing that my fianc= =E9e was referred to as a 'surf widow'. Mind you Alison wasn't the only sur= f widow in my group of friends. Surfing was one of those pastimes that requ= ired a high level of commitment. Even after getting married in 1975, my com= mitment to surfing continued to grow. In 1978 our band, Living Water, laid = the soundtrack down for a surfing movie with a message, called 'Living Wate= r'. When this film was released we even played at the Sydney Opera House Th= eatre as part of the premiere celebrations. Again in 1981 we helped produce= and record the soundtrack for a surfing, biking and skiing movie called 'A= nyone Can'.

 

However when my eldest son was born i= n 1981 something had to give, and you can guess what it was. My surf board = started to get cobwebs on it. When my second son was born I stopped playing= in the church soccer team. When number three came along even my guitar str= ings got a bit rusty, not to mention my playing.

 

One could call this process that of '= death to self'. However I was just playing catch up to my wife's amazing co= mmitment to carry each of our children for nine months, with all the associ= ated discomfort, and go through the painful process of childbirth, not once= or twice but five times over a period of 11 years. There should have been = six children but Alison had a miscarriage with number 5. It was hard for bo= th of us, but especially for Alison. So you see, I was merely catching up w= ith my wife's commitment in this process of 'dying to self'. Alison had acc= epted the night feeds, sleepless nights and constant backlog of housework a= nd laundry. I wish I could say that I was more helpful, but I was busy in m= y own little world of business, or at least that was my excuse.

 

The good news I want to tell you abou= t today is that, "Out of death comes life".3D"=

 

Several weeks ago, my third son, a ma= d keen surfer just like I was (DNA sure is interesting), asked me to go sur= fing with him and his friends. The water was sparkling beautifully as we pa= ddled out in the early morning sunshine into the take-off zone. Fortunately= my gym training helped me paddle out the back through the white water. Thi= s is of course another reason dads should try to keep fit, so that they can= grab the opportunities to be with their children when the situation arises= .

 

We have been out surfing a few times = over the last several weeks and I have really enjoyed the process. Not just= the surfing but the magnificence of creation itself, first thing in the mo= rning. Even better is the ritual of the big breakfast afterwards with my so= n and his friends. Just to hang out and 'chill', as they say in surfing lin= go. Money can't buy those opportunities and for me that sort of opportunity= is irreplaceable. All the money on the earth could never buy them. 'Death = to self' can be a horrible process, but there is a resurrection moment awai= ting you - make sure you grab it with both hands. You will be so glad you d= id!

 

= Lovework

 

Chill out with your children. Whateve= r it is they are interested in, make yourself interested in the same. If th= eir only interest at one year of age is food, or trucks or teddies, it shou= ldn't be too hard. Children love to play and it's often the simple things s= uch as tickles, peek-a-boo and wrestling that they enjoy the most.

 

When my children were about 5 or 6 ye= ars old they developed a real interest in skate boarding. Guess what? It wa= s time to shake the redback spiders out of my trucks on my old skateboard a= nd practice downhill racing with the best of them. The injuries were someti= mes horrific but 'no pain, no gain'. On many of our musical tours as a fami= ly across Australia it wasn't so much a journey from gig to gig but from sk= ate park to skate park.

 

You might have to give up some of the= things you want to do, but the resurrection is often wonderful. Are you up= for it??

And guess what? They've even asked me= to join the church soccer team.

 

Yours for 'being up for it'

Warwick Marsh

 

PS A friend of mine suggested I do a = media release on the disgraced footballer Wayne Carey and his dysfunctional= family background. I chose not to go there, even though the story needs to= be told. Andrew Bolt of the Herald Sun has done a great job and we reprint= his article as a Special Feature this week with Andrew's incisive comment = a challenge to us all.

 

Next week we look at the story of a M= afia Killer called 'Sins of the Father'. If nothing else we can learn what = not to do. Our children deserve the best. Happy Fathering!

__________________________________________= ____________________________________

 

Warwick Marsh  = ;has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfather o= f two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging= in age from 27 years to 15 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwr= iter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at = himself.

=09=09
Laughter
=  =20
To understand why we do what we do have a look at this link:
&nbs= p;
 
3D"Teacher=
 
 
 
 
Grandfathers
 =20

3D"ManAll I have seen

teaches me to trust the creator

for all I have not seen.

 = ;

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
All You Nee= d is Love
 

.

<= strong>Marriage is Best for Happy = Families

<= font color=3D"#000000">By Harry Benson

<= font color=3D"#000000">Western Daily Press (UK) April 3, 2008=

<= a href=3D"http://ui.constantcontact.com/visualeditor/www.bcft.co.uk" target= =3D"_blank">www.bcft.co.uk

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">The following is an extract from an article regardin= g marriage rates in the United Kingdom. Australia's = marriage rates (see graph at this link) are on = the increase so much of the information is irrelevant. However the followin= g points are very interesting.3D"Happy

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">Two years ago, I conducted the largest-ever analysis= of family breakdown in the UK, based on the Millennium Cohort Study of 15,= 000 mothers who had three-year-old children.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">Even when comparing couples of similar age, income, = education, and ethnic background, unmarried parents were still more than tw= ice as likely to split up during this period.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">In fact, the single biggest influence on whether a c= ouple stayed together or split up was not income or education - although th= ese matter. It was whether couples were married or not. Something about bei= ng married matters a great deal. The latest research evidence suggests the = difference lies in the attitudes and behaviours that are more often found a= mong married couples.

<= font color=3D"#000000">It's not so much marriage but what marriage represen= ts.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">One of the most compelling findings is that men and = women commit in different ways. Women tend to commit when they live with a = partner. Men tend to commit when they make a clear decision about their fut= ure.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">Men who slide into a relationship - as do many unmar= ried couples - tend to have lower levels of commitment compared to men who = make clear decisions about their future.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">Deciding to pop the question may not be the only way= for a man to show lifelong commitment. But it is the clearest possible sig= n a woman can get.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">So the question for policy-makers really ought to be= how to increase the national stock of commitment or "dedication". In parti= cular, how can we encourage men to make clear decisions about their future?=

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">Instead of pretending that it doesn't matter whether= a couple marries or not, the Government should be sending clear signals th= at it values and supports marriage. Instead of providing the current financ= ial incentive for couples to live apart, or pretend to do so, the Governmen= t should remove this penalty and even provide a bonus to married couples.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">Instead of describing couples as "married or living = together as if married" on official forms and much worse, the Government sh= ould openly and unashamedly use the language of marriage - husband, wife, a= nd spouse.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">These are but signals. Perhaps the most hopeful and = practical way to improve dedication is through relationship education.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">The latest short courses apply evidence-based princi= ples that help couples increase the quality and stability of their relation= ship, whether married or not.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">Make a visit to the website www.= bcft.co.uk and look under "tips and help" to ge= t a good idea how to apply these sorts of principles to your own relationsh= ip.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">The Bristol Community Family Trust has been pioneeri= ng effective and enjoyable new programmes for parents, for couples who are = getting married, and other groups.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">During the last year alone, our charity has run 70 c= ourses for more than 900 people in the greater Bristol area, through health= visitors and clinics, schools, churches and prisons.

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">If we want to see family breakdown reversed, these a= re the kind of steps that need to be taken on a national scale. It starts w= ith a public recognition of what the research is telling us.<= /p>

 =

<= font color=3D"#000000">Marriage, and the attitudes it represents, really ma= tter.

.

=09=09 =09=09
Single Dads
=

3D"Family

 

A PETITION FOR= REFORM OF THE AUSTRALIAN FAMILY COURT

 

Patron C= ount Nikolai Tolstoy

 

"It remains for people of good conscience = to speak up about injustice, racism and inequality - in our neighbourhoods,= in academic debate, in political discourse. And to question, question rele= ntlessly.

Too often people go ahead with policies an= d attitudes that contradict human rights and are contrary to our vision of = Australia as a place where everyone is treated fairly...Ask questions publi= cly and demand the answers be explained clearly so that everyone may unders= tand...As Australians let us not be damned by our silence. Or shamed by our= ignorance".

 

"We all have a responsibility to hold up t= o scrutiny and accountability circumstances where the human rights of other= s are compromised"

 

- the Ho= n. John von Doussa QC, President of the Australian Human Rights and Equal O= pportunity Commisssion.

 

= A Copy of Letter to the Governor General re Petition for Reform by Michael = Midgley

 

His Exce= llency Major General Michael Jeffery, AC, CVO, MC     <= /span>    

Governor= General of the Commonwealth of Australia 

Governme= nt House     &nb= sp;    

Dunrossi= l Avenue   &n= bsp;                  &n= bsp;     =             &nb= sp;            =             &nb= sp;     

Yarralum= la ACT      = ;                  &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;          

2600 Aus= tralia.
March 27, 2008

 

 

Dear Gen= eral Jeffery,

 

On Decem= ber 12, 2008, I wrote to you and asked whether you would give a statement o= f support to the Petition and bring it to the notice of UNICEF Australia me= mbers. 

 

I made t= his request on the basis "that as = patron of UNICEF Australia, you are concerned for the implementation of UNC= ROC in all the countries of the world, including Australia, and that an imp= ortant function of the Governor-General is to "encourage, articulate and re= present" the social values whi= ch Australia considers to be important, and to lend your support to individ= uals and groups who strive to make them a reality in every day life in Aust= ralia." 

 

As you k= now, these values include the right of children to shared parenting when bo= th parents are suited to provide it (UNCROC) and the common law principle t= hat alleged breaches of the law must be capable of objective determination.=

 

Maybe yo= u can write a letter to those of influence within the Australian community = regarding the need for a presumption of equal shared parenting within the F= amily Law Act.

 

I was or= iginally recommended to get in touch with UNICEF Australia by Robert Palk o= f the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) (R= oyal Patron: H.M. The Queen), and I refer you to his comment in the stateme= nts of support I sent you. In the first instance, I wrote to UNICEF Austral= ia's Executive Committee, but had no reply. My letter to you is therefore m= y second approach to UNICEF Australia.&nb= sp;

 

UNICEF A= ustralia's website states UNICEF's work is guided by UNCROC, a set of minimum international human rightss= tandards for children which Australia has a legal responsibility to uphold = in Australia in full (see the rule of international law, pacta sunt servanda).

 

In respe= ct of your role as Patron of UNICEF, it is generally considered that the re= sponsibility of a Patron is to serve and act in accordance with the values = of the body or institution of which he or she is patron.

 

The foll= owing are some mission statements published by UNICEF Australia on its webs= ite:

 

 "The Convention on the Ri= ghts of the Child (CRC) sets out basic rights for all children, and is the = foundation of all Unicef's work."

 

"Unicef works to protect children = who have suffered from or at risk of violence, exploitation and abuse".

 

"Unicef works with governments and= various organisations to bring children's rights to the centre of public p= olicy".

 

UNICEF a= ims to "involve everyone i= n creating protective environments for children" and "to achieve equality for those who are discriminated= against".

 

I enclos= e the Petition statement. It has been constructed to reflect the rights of = children in UNCROC and consequently it is unclear how Mr. Hallett, your sec= retary, can say that it would be inappropriate of you to support it. Rather= , the opposite seems true.

 

As you k= now, it is sufficient in Australian family law to raise nothing more concre= te than suspicion about people's integrity to obtain a judgement against th= em, and I assume you would not wish your own integrity to be subject to the same standard? I would theref= ore ask you to clarify Mr. Hallett's statement and identify the principle o= n which it is based.

 

If you d= o not reply, I will assume you regard my remarks to be fair. 

 

In view = of the importance of the subject, I would very much appreciate a personal r= esponse.

 

Thank yo= u and I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Yours si= ncerely,

Michael = Midgley

Campaign= Organiser

= AFC Petition

afcpetition@h= otmail.com

 

Editor's= Note: We suggest that you might like to sign the petition if you are inter= ested in helping Michael Midgely. This petition can be found at: http://www.dads= ontheair.net/shows/Family_Court_Petition.pdf

 

Michael = can be contacted by email at:afcpe= tition@hotmail.com  or maybe you would like to write to the Governor General you= rself.

 

Special Feature
 
 

Carey's Telling Silence=

By Andr= ew Bolt

Wednesd= ay, April 02, 2008 at 06:01am 3D"Wayne

 

It is w= hat Wayne Carey didn't say on Monday about his father Kevin that convinced = me he deserves a little mercy.

 

He coul= d, of course, have said plenty. Judge that by how Kevin mocked his famous f= ootballer son three days ago.

 

Clutchi= ng yet another beer, the 67-year-old told the Herald Sun his son was "an id= iot" whose problems were "the piss and his d...".

 

He jeer= ed that Wayne, by going on Monday's Enough Rope to talk of his battles with= drink, cocaine, police and women, was just "going for sympathy".

 

And ask= ed if he had a message for his son, he said he did: "You're a ....head."

 

This, o= n the other hand, is what Wayne said when asked on the show if his father, = who'd been a violent drunk, was to blame for his own failings - failings of= character that have seen the AFL's greatest player become one of its great= est pariahs:

 

"Look, = he was a hard man. He had a very tough upbringing . . . He's mellowed a lot= , obviously, as you do with age, and he had a tough upbringing himself, and= we often speak about him and, yeah, I do love him. He's my father."

 

In the = contrast of those two responses - between that of the sneering father and t= he respectful son - is a clue to the fall of Wayne Carey, and also a sign t= hat he's not yet lost.

 

But as = I said, it is actually what Carey refused to say of his upbringing and his = father that spoke even louder.

 

I can't= breach confidences, but others who know Carey intimately will tell you sto= ries of his life with his father that would outrage those of us who believe= fervently that children thrive best on love, and some tenderness. <= /p>

 

Carey s= aid not a word about that. He refused to reveal things that would make his = harshest critics wish they'd been a little less damning. For many watching,= women especially, it might even have been Carey's get-out-of-jail pass, ye= t he refused to play it.

 

But the= little he did describe of his childhood suggested some of the rest.

 

He conc= eded what was already public knowledge - that his mother had left his fathe= r because she "obviously . . . had a fear of her husband".

 

Carey, = who stayed with his father and two of his siblings, said they were then not= allowed to bring friends home or even to see their mother for nine years. =

 

Of how = his father treated them, he was guarded to the point of generous: "We would= always have food on the table, always had clothes on the back, always got = to school, but, yeah, he was hard."

 

(Kevin = Carey had earlier warned he'd "sue the pants" off people who claimed he was= violent to his family - claims he said were "bull....".)

 

The wor= st Carey would reveal was that his father had probably watched him play onl= y one of his 272 games, and had even sold all the free tickets he got from = Wayne to watch him lead North Melbourne into three Grand Finals.

 

Not men= tioned, either, was his father's criminal record, which involves conviction= s for boozing, stealing and even holding a gun to a 16-year-old boy he want= ed to terrify.

 

Enough = Rope host Andrew Denton said his interview with a seemingly shell-shocked C= arey showed a man "in denial about things that he's done in his life and wh= ere he came from, which is a violent, alcoholic father".

 

Denton<= /span> may be right, of course. Raised as he was, Carey's natural rea= ction to criticism is implacable defiance.

 

It's a = quality that probably saved him his self-respect as a boy - helped make him= a champion footballer, too - but it's one that now makes him one troubled = human being.

 

3D"Wayne= Even in Monday's humiliating public confession, Carey seemed caught between= defying the worst and denying it - at least in public.

 

Perhaps= that's why he seemed almost unable to understand how his life had so unrav= elled that he's now too ashamed to even walk down the street.

 

And, indeed, he does seem to struggle to realise a few import= ant things.  

 

Here's = one: a good father - as he claims to be - should be at home with the young = daughter he clearly adores, not off getting drunk and stoned with a model n= ot her mother.

 

He seem= s not to understand, either, that he needs a cause in his life as big as fo= otball once was, and being a fine husband and father may give him that, for= those are grand responsibilities that demand a lot even from the best.

 

And may= be, as Denton claims, he indeed doesn't understand also how savagely crippl= ed even a man as strong as he can be by a childhood starved of gentleness a= nd love.

 

But I'm= not so sure of that, for reasons that tempt me to give a chance to a man I= felt ran clean out of them long ago. Maybe Carey does understand more than= Denton thinks.

 

Maybe t= he reason he didn't spend time pandering to Denton's audience with stories = of his father's bastardry was because he's accepted that as a man himself i= t's time he took responsibility, however heavy that burden.

 

He coul= d blame his father, but it was Wayne himself who molested a woman, cheated = on his wife, betrayed a teammate, hung out with hoods, took drugs, assaulte= d police and boozed his brains out.

 

And bla= ming his father is excusing that train wreck, not fixing the rails so his n= ext train runs straight.

 

So mayb= e he's not suffering from the cowering loyalty of an abused boy still in de= nial, but is instead taking charge at last - which explains the loyalty and= even love he still shows to a father who struggles to show much in return.=

 

That ma= y also be why Carey excuses his father like he refuses to excuse himself, n= oting that Kevin, too, had "a tough upbringing".

Where w= ould those excuses stop, once you started? A damaged boy could blame his da= maged father, who could blame his damaged father, who . . . And each could = look back in resentment, and plead: "See, with a dad like that, what could = you expect?"

 

That's = a cycle that won't be broken until one son steps out and defies that endles= s cause-and-effect. Rejects the excuses. Denies his past, Denton might say,= and builds his own future.

 

Wayne C= arey, in seeming to forgive his own father and to take responsibility for h= is own sins, may at last be that son and that father.

 

With st= rength, new purpose and the love of others-and his fierce defiance, this ti= me directed against the past that shaped him-he may yet be proud of himself= . And I'm sure his daughter will be, too.

 = Read more of Carey's Telling Silence<= /span>

News & Info
 
 
 
NEWS LINKS
<= /div>
Ba= d behaviour is dominating news at the moment.3D"Man
 
 
 
 
 
______________________________________________________________________= ______
 
HOT Stuff - Mens= Health Forum Report available:
 
 
______________________________________________________________________= ______
 
 
Letters
 

Dear Friends,

It's on again - the overview workshop for men: Men Love Sex & Marriage. And yes, the com= mas in the title have been deliberately omitted. :)

For more information see attached flyer, registration form, and (if you w= ish) the background paper and comments from previous participants. 

Please spread the word to family, friends, colleagues = etc. Last year's MLS&M workshop was a pow= erhouse of good male energy. About 25-30 men attended and we covered a lot = of ground (and good humour) regarding identity, relationships and sexuality= . My approach is inviting and non-threatening.

This year's workshop will commence on Friday evening 9th May and then&nbs= p;resume Saturday 10th May - expanded on last year's format - to&= nbsp;give us time to cover the territory at a more leisurely pace.

Enquiries are welcome: 0431 848 835. Registrations are by mail using the = attached from.

Regards,

Noel = ;

PS. Next week I'll be advising you that my new website is up and run= ning. This will give information about the full workshop series for 2008 an= d other services I'm offering in my private practice.

NOEL GIBLETT
BA, BSW, MAASW
0431 848 835

Perth Western Australia

Coaching, Counselling, Psychotherapy &
Spiritual Direction Groups, Workshops & Retreats
MEDICARE REBATES AVAILABLE

<= /td>
Dad's Prayer
 =20
 

3D"Ist=Dear God

 

Help me always grab the opportunity

 for a cuddle or a kiss.

Help me always grab the

opportunity, even when
I seem to miss.

Knowing that my actions now

In spite of death

Will lead to resurrection

 and new life.

No grain of wheat abides alone - =

When covered over it decide= s

To send out love, although denied.<= /font>

 

In doing so it grows agai= n.

In doing so we comprehend

That life's a circle,=

Death's a must,

We live again<= /span>

When we can trust.

=09 =09
=09=09 =09=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fu= nd
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a r= eceipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 = 695
A/C: 25-5558

 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW&nb= sp; 2520
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

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Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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