Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.31]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 13 Apr 2008 09:26:13 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1Jkp6q-0003OC-S8 for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 13 Apr 2008 09:26:12 +1000 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id JRW02600; Sun, 13 Apr 2008 09:26:08 +1000 (EST) Received: from p1-ws008 (unknown [10.250.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 117783FE08E for ; Sat, 12 Apr 2008 17:55:55 -0400 (EDT) Message-ID: <1102055793953.1101938345415.1211.8.133192502@scheduler> Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2008 19:26:06 -0400 (EDT) From: Fatherhood Foundation Reply-To: info@fathersonline.org To: blane@uow.edu.au Subject: Sins of the Father Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_Part_623173_2069237886.1208042766424" X-Mailer: Roving Constant Contact 0 (http://www.constantcontact.com) List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykgMbU-CSFDW4IGWPXuYbrhg== X-Return-Path-Hint: ESC1102055793953_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-Roving-ID: 1101938345415.1211 X-Lumos-SenderID: 1101938345415 X-Roving-CampaignId: 1102055793953 X-Roving-StreamId: 0 X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A150202.48014514.0044,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 Return-Path: ESC1102055793953_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-OriginalArrivalTime: 12 Apr 2008 23:26:13.0132 (UTC) FILETIME=[98E77CC0:01C89CF4] ------=_Part_623173_2069237886.1208042766424 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ 14th April 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 295 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Sins of the Father Confessions of a Mafia Hitman ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for the fathers and families as we look at the Confessions of a Mafia Hitman an= d the pain within. In This Issue Frontline...There is nothing like a negligent father Laughter..Our relatives Grandfathers...Grace your children All You Need is Love..Marriage is a lot of work Single Dads...Overcoming Anger Special Feature...Open letter to Australia News & Info..Open letter, news=20 Dad's Prayer..Pass on the gladness ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Next Week Work, Life, Balance ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D1101938345415] Join our Mailing List! [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D11= 01938345415] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavyYeRPaUjbc0C= ZWipN-1LDA-ULpP-fTc6Dflr0-ASsnsHj50ZmyFNu7MNEHV9OoSa8oXRmrpKsPZ8rlX8c7qBab8= NhYO0lXhA4PFwyLrqB6nw=3D=3D] Dads in Distress [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavyy4UFAp73tOs185hx0= 3yeqd-O0c2FHsAVIUxL-lUcw6F-nsOQjAcK70dw6gBj92rlNZ7QqNzJ7LM1lk-Ekv_1ZU044nYI= Uh05GhAsPNUWOWKK2sXbLJoyy] Focus on the Family [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavyFsDi-G_mOpp1i_= 0dVthV8eAqYeOEJXUZBvcM_yKF2iyTIpggxJPGME1eXU2WgPySXEvIZtd7VO2Lk0YURAoLVySYT= s9WHzAjqL15QVFXRVw=3D=3D] National Center for Fathering [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavzaw5Z= 8y4pApuBKDX8wGbHHXo7tqmFzPo6NN1vVrqo-fEzvlENOYdBVpksUZsZpRj4htsWT04oBlu96ML= mXgTXxzmK0l2WtgmZoRlz9KAwj3w=3D=3D] Families for Life [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavwGkUVUVVSo_EGN-IF= jnPILIXFCelNjSWz9rJKqzBgohwDEF7OhNjyB58aC3ms6v9x_271tl7k6dJb5UT9h1rb5E4gqeS= ojYifJjEw_bcwp6u3J6IA3XeurFGxrH6zAHew=3D] Pathways Foundation [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavxaQQ53q83sPJoBP= JBR6Wv3JDK_jcHlgjmlR8LN66Ys4Qvcnn1LLAxZWSgB0vXQEpZ-qoZc2IdrNf8IlzWwedokN-TC= fSUppk5jPZf9K0NlOdq_xUvqpXjY] Marriage & Family - ACL [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavwGxEL0ZhXtR= R2LJDV03I6hPQ3b5mlzOa7bENqCPLjGUpVG4PPf5_JTRc6IQsLM92kv3VNmVicudoxX8umyWK00= CVdh0gS6jvmM2XUrYEUH_z0pvNZaMRYgzcPUm-fQLCIgMweUqy2WZKn7D0sZorKd] Dads on the Air [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavzOULvmtbnkrrvRUrFLO= biNqeaCcW7HJP7fj28SwXy535lno2m4iZLuFpS9AhIIirgDtR8in8f_AwV47W-tpc_VvUf-oBb8= tbs29HLkv_fkgw=3D=3D] Equal Parenting Party [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavyQsOqnf7ej3F8= lLkApZZubbVgbvL9EmFJ_JvmYPe8MHlIqlo65014GF3H96SAi8SZIGz0rbgsHEovTBnUIF9TqQX= WVjmcZfbjaNyPeYEbb5Q=3D=3D] CSA Adverts [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavyp7Zg79xBE3EIIOKDTIyNvH= brZ3_a8MrnUqjPA5ZLmn2hEiUO-RZRUbXWHs1W0jZOkDiYC5eV87Oo3KDEu3f_iwVRuQNEbfAfa= 54_JXtZFDWEmXZISlz6hvGvRWfma1NnLo_3fcMo_Ug=3D=3D] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Thought of the Week You can't do much about your ancestors but you can influence your descendants enormously. Anon ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Frontline Stafano Guazzo said, "Among all the abuses of the world . . . there is none= worse than a negligent father". The scriptures say, "The sins of the father go do= wn to the third and fourth generation". When fathers go right, families go right= . When fathers go wrong families go wrong. The results can be devastating. Author Philip Carlo [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavzjOLHaiTHbS3ebf= _6xsMqcd7MtMKDLfQvfouV6JzsoUog5FjUcHf2lsU_Sfjf8drbYACnOCNRWzpPBWFTAXoU9AGdm= BGiWsZ7u6jxT-18uAw=3D=3D] has written a book called 'The Ice Man - Confessions of a Mafia Contract Ki= ller' =A92007 St Martins Griffin. The following extract from a story in The Aust= ralian=20 3/1/2007 gives a glimpse into a childhood that produced a man thought to ha= ve killed more than 200 people on behalf of US gangsters. As far back as Richard Kuklinski could remember, his father was beating him= . He=20 once related: "When my father - father, that's a joke - came home and I sai= d hello, he'd say hello by slapping me across the face." Stanley Kuklinski, a railway brakeman who had been born in Warsaw, Poland, = drank whisky with beer chasers: boilermakers. When he drank, his violence grew i= ndiscriminate. He took to wrapping his garrison belt around his hard-knuckled fist and pun= ching his sons with it. It was like being struck by a two-by-four. He was fond o= f hitting his children in the head and often knocked Florian and Richard unconscious. Little by little Stanley was, in effect, beating the very necessary human e= lements of compassion and empathy out of his second-born, clearly delineating the p= ath Richard's life would take. Finally, Stanley did the unspeakable: he murdered his son Florian with one = of his beatings. He hit the frail boy on the back of the head one too many times, = knocking him to the floor. The boy never got back up. Stanley made his beautiful wif= e Anna, who had once wanted to be a nun, tell family, friends and the authorities t= hat Florian died after falling down the stairs and striking his head. No one questioned= the=20 story, and Florian was laid out in the Kuklinski living room, just down the= block from St Mary's Church, Jersey City, where this ill-matched couple had been = wed. Richard was just five when his brother was killed. Anna told Richard that F= lorian had been hit by a car. Richard had no conception of death; he just knew tha= t Florian lay in a cheap wooden coffin that smelled of pine in the living room. It wa= s as=20 if Florian was asleep, but he would not wake up. After Florian's murder, Stanley let up on Richard for a while, but it wasn'= t long before he went back to his old ways. The beatings became even more brutal a= nd frequent. Stanley seemed to blame Richard for everything unjust that had ever happene= d to=20 him, for all the curveballs life threw him. Anna's answer was to attend chu= rch and silently ask God for help. She took to facing a wall and praying fervently = as Stanley beat the young boy. Richard often went to sleep with bruises; sometimes, he= was=20 so covered with eggplant coloured welts that he couldn't go outside or to s= chool. Richard grew into a painfully shy, awkward child with little confidence in = himself. He viewed the world as a brutal, violent place filled with pain and turmoil= . Richard had been very close to Florian; he had held him tight when his father beat = their mother and smashed the family's meagre possessions. Now Florian was gone a= nd Richard had to face his father alone. He was a thin, frail boy and it didn't take l= ong for neighbourhood toughs to start picking on him, which only compounded his fee= lings of isolation and resentment. His anxieties mounted. Two Irish brothers who lived on the block regularly accosted Richard. One S= aturday morning they gave him a particularly severe beating. Richard managed to esc= ape the attack and run home. Stanley, home that day, watched the attack from the fr= ont window. When Richard arrived home, Stanley took off his belt and beat the boy, dema= nding that he go back downstairs and fight the brothers. "No kid 'a mine's gonna= be a chicken sh*t," he bellowed, striking Richard across the face with his belt= . Confused, his face burning, a red welt forming, Richard hurried back to the street. "= Go get 'em," Stanley ordered from the window, and Richard did exactly what he was = told. With newfound ferocity and pent-up hostility, he laid into the brothers, g= iving them both a terrific beating. Their father, a tall, gangly Irishman named = O'Brian, came out of the house and roughly pushed Richard away. Amazed, Richard watc= hed as Stanley leapt out of the second-story window, landed squarely on his feet, = and stormed across Third Street. He slapped O'Brian across the face, saying: "When your kids beat up my kid,= you=20 watched and did nothing. When my kid fought back, you stopped it." Stanley = then=20 hit O'Brian so hard that he knocked him out right there on the sidewalk in = front of everyone. Richard learned that day that might was right. He often wondered why his fa= ther=20 and mother didn't like him, what he had done to deserve their indifference = and violence. He drew further into himself, was always alone, couldn't seem to make frien= ds and a seething fiery rage slowly grew inside the small boy. Edited extract from The Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer by = Philip Carlo, Harper Collins. Lovework Now that you've read the worst you can work on becoming the best. Fathers do make an impact. Your influence reaches down through the generati= ons.=20 That's why you receive this newsletter every week. Keep up the great work! Yours for the next generation Warwick Marsh PS The 2020 Summit is being held in Canberra this coming week. The purpose = of the 2020 Summit is to "shape a long term strategy for the nation's future . . .= and=20 ensure nobody is left out of Australia's future". Looking at the lack of representation from within the Men and Father's move= ment=20 it would seem that men and fathers have once again been left out of the equ= ation. If you want to make your voice heard about this important omission, please = check out our Media Release in the News & Info section and pass it on to those w= ho need to hear it. ___________________________________________________________________________= ___ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging = in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and= public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Laughter A little girl asked her father, 'How did the human race appear?' The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so wa= s all mankind made.' Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answ= ered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl returned to her father and said, 'Dad, how is it possible= that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mom said they developed= from monkeys?' The father answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my si= de of the family and your mother told you about hers.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Grandfathers We can either grace our children or damn them with unrequited wounds which never seem to heal . . . men, as fathers you have such power. R Kent Highes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ All You Need is Love . Marriage, athletics take a lot of work By Robert "Bird" Brown April 06, 2008 This week, my wife and I celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary. Feel free = to send her condolences. If she didn't know what type of sports life she had in fro= nt of her in the two years of courtship, then having our reception planned at th= e same time and location as the annual Towson vs. Loyola lacrosse game should have= driven home the point. . . . Nineteen years of anything is a lot, but couples staying married for that l= ong are becoming scarce and it's something I'm most proud of. Of the couples that g= ot married in the same year that we were, only 52% of us are still married to the same= person. We are nowhere near the longevity of many couples, but to put things into p= erspective for how long ago that was, in the same year we were married, tens of thousa= nds of Chinese students took over Beijing's Tiananmen Square to protest for freedo= m, Mikhail Gorbachev was elected president of the Soviet Union, the Berlin Wall fell a= fter=20 28 years and the U.S. invaded Panama to capture Manuel Noriega. All of those significant events in world history are now being taught in th= e classrooms of the students that I coach and yet we were lucky enough to have lived thr= ough=20 it. There are many, many lessons that we've learned over the years of being= together that also share a foundation with the lessons you can teach and learn with = participation in sports. It's all about doing the hard work. Too many times when things get hard or = complicated, human nature steers us toward the easy path. We try to take shortcuts that = we think will get us the same result, but without putting in the hard work we don't = set the foundation for what will get us through when things become difficult. There= 's no substitute for putting all of your energies into reaching your goal. You must be able to pull your end of the weight. Your commitment to the com= mon good is of utmost importance. It is said that a good marriage is a 50/50 partner= ship=20 and there's something to be said for that. We need to be prepared to give 1= 00%,=20 because if someone's not pulling their 50%, then you won't ever be at full = strength. Sometimes it's 60/40, sometimes 80/20. In sports, you can't always get ever= yone=20 on the team to give their best all the time, so the rest of the players nee= d to=20 be playing at the top of their game to compensate for anyone who falls back= . Sacrifice is a key element of any partnership. Once you make a decision to = not go it alone, the needs and wants of your teammates have to weigh into any futu= re decisions or activities to make sure that you are working for the common good. Someti= mes you want to play quarterback, but the team needs you at middle linebacker. You = may not like it, but because the team needs you to perform at its best, you make th= e sacrifice for your teammates. What makes things really successful is when you can accomplish what's good = for the "team" yet maintain your individuality. As the author May Sarton wrote, "No= partner . . . should feel that he has to give up an essential part of himself to ma= ke it viable". For that, I'm grateful. Copyright 2008 Robert Brown . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Single Dads You and Your Children's Mother: Overcoming Anger for Your Kids' Sake by Patrick Batcheldor Getting tired of hearing about how all single dads are angry? If you're lik= e me, you don't even read the "deadbeat dad" articles anymore - it's enough to m= ake you mad! The real danger of that kind of anger is that it can very easily cloud your= thinking and make you temporarily forget one of your most valued priorities in life,= your kids. What's really best for you and them? Do you really get that much sat= isfaction out of hating your former wife? Who's really being hurt here? If there's a = constant pain in your stomach, it isn't her that's bleeding; it's you - and the kids= . Like many things in life, hate is a choice. It may seem like an uncontrolla= ble reaction, but in not learning to control your anger, you have chosen to hate. I'm not= asking you to love the kids' mom again; that's a choice too. There's a middle grou= nd you have to reach-the lack of anger and hate. It's a very necessary first step = in bringing healing to your family. I'll be borrowing from Ken Canfield's book, The 7 Secrets of Effective Fath= ers [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavy_Off744Wm_IDPhGjK0qkDzz4ea4McD= jMECxl4IJwXmyww9SgUmqKntkgSQ6cfHHPJb8qA_AymqdzJPMVcYyGPHbOgVEyZHiK2-laDhxUB= exq2qf01G96FwJ4rpAY8YQN1zxCtZ4YVuSxkPtRYshyzrzTBlfQwPcdJXEVwfQ0A94ckA0Cms4l= A_9k1Y8WK269rkcIKA0Wfo5dHUG4PKuwqLuUQVpZ07UM=3D]-specifically, secret five: Loving Their Mother. I know it may be hard to even think about= right now, but force yourself - for you and your children's sake. Distrust Your Former Wife? Your Kids Will, Too No one's perfect - including you. Sometimes we're late; we all do things th= at hurt others, too. With that in mind, let go of all the distrust you can, especia= lly if it's based on old memories. If you choose to re-live that distrust over and= over in your mind, it will give you an ulcer. But, even worse, your children will pick up on the distrust like the smell = of hamburgers on the grill. Your attitude won't come back to haunt her, only you and your= kids. If you reinforce that she can't be trusted or doesn't keep promises, you'll= only create a basic anxiety and fear in your kids' lives. They may not trust an= y women. Your son could grow up to have a string of failed relationships with women;= your daughter may develop negative views of womanhood or motherhood. They'll le= arn to distrust you for it too, and that could undermine many of the other things = you're trying to do as a dad. No matter how much satisfaction you may get out of spite, don't do that to = your=20 kids. Now that the marriage is over, why not be a little forgiving? Can't Bring Yourself to Talk to Their Mom? I remember a grade school program where my son was up on the bleachers, sin= ging=20 his heart out about Frosty the Snowman. His mom and I were sitting on the f= ront=20 row, talking. What did we talk about? My son John, of course. No need to be= angry about the past or present. No need to hate anyone. Only a great reason to c= ommunicate our mutual love and hopes for the life of this great little guy. Afterwards, when we were standing around with all the other proud parents, = a woman approached me and said, "I was talking to your wife, and she said ...." Oh = boy.=20 My wife! Then I stopped and thought, Of course. It was an easy mistake, but= I also took it as a compliment, because it reflected that we were taking a tense s= ituation and choosing to make the best of it. We both hugged John and then went our = separate ways. No ulcers, no atmosphere of distrust, no lack of communication, no an= ger.=20 Who benefited? My son John, myself, and maybe their mom. We all won and it = felt=20 great. You can win and bring your kids into the equation too. Think about the future now. Imagine no hate, anger or distrust aimed at you= r children's mother. You're there, and there is laughter, affirmation, even love. Your k= ids see their potential, love their mom for who she is, and give you credit for bei= ng the dad all their friends would like to have. What more can life give in your role as a dad? Not much. Try it! _____________________________________________________________________ Patrick Batchelder is a writer and single-father advocate. He lives in Colo= rado=20 with his son and daughter. Reprinted from www.fathers.com [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavzaw5= Z8y4pApuBKDX8wGbHHXo7tqmFzPo6NN1vVrqo-fEzvlENOYdBVpksUZsZpRj4htsWT04oBlu96M= LmXgTXxzmK0l2WtgmZoRlz9KAwj3w=3D=3D] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Special Feature Open Letter to the Men & Father's Movement of Australia The family friendly men's movement is deeply concerned with the apparent di= scrimination in the 2020 Summit process against the men and fathers of Australia. This d= iscrimination is damaging to the families of Australia. We applaud our fellow Australians= who=20 are sacrificing to take part in the summit. They are not to blame. Our disa= ppointment is with the Prime Minister and the government who are responsible for the p= rocess of the summit selection and briefing papers. We call on men and father's groups, who are family friendly, to contact the= ir own media representatives and issue urgent media releases to state their own op= inions on the adverse effects of this discrimination on the mothers, fathers and c= hildren of Australia, and to call for constructive and positive solutions to redres= s this imbalance. Our new Prime Minister, the Hon Kevin Rudd, has convened the 2020 Summit fo= r Saturday 19th and Sunday 20th April 2008. The goal of the 2020 Summit, in the Prime = Minister's own words is to: 'Harness the best ideas . . . and shape a long term strategy for the nation= 's future . . . and ensure nobody is left out of Australia's future.' These goals are commendable but for the Summit to succeed it is critical th= at the 2020 Summit is representational of Australian families. Men and woman are e= qual=20 and both are important contributors to the Australian family. Children do b= est in the natural biological family, in fact each child is created by a man and a= woman. It would seem that this fact has escaped the Summit organisers as the infor= mation below shows. The overall summit has equal female-male representation but the critical Fa= mily=20 and community section is very biased. So far the Communities and Families s= ection has 62% females and 38% males. This inequality of balanced representation i= s also reflected in the fact that it would seem that the Men and Father's movement= is not represented at all in this important family and community section of the 20= 20 Summit. One thousand delegates were chosen out of 8,000 applications. We have recor= d of=20 16 applications from within the Men and Father's movement as listed below a= nd suspect that there are many more that applied but were rejected. This means that th= ere should be at least a minimum of between 1 and 2 representatives from within the Me= n and Father's movement for the Communities & Families section of the 2020 Summi= t. The tragedy is that men, the largest minority group in Australia, at 49.2%,= have been left out again. Here are the people from the movement who were nominated for the 2020 Summi= t but were unsuccessful. 1. Professor John MacDonald, Foundation Chair in Primary Health Care, Co-Di= rector Men's Health Information and Resource Centre, University of Western Sydney.= President, Australasian Men's Health Forum. 2. Associate Professor Barry Golding, University of Ballarat, Researching A= dult=20 & Vocational Education (RAVE) Group. Adult Learning Australia Visiting Rese= arch Fellow. Australia's leading expert on Men's Sheds and Adult Learning for Ol= der Men. 3. Dr Arne Rubenstein (MBBS, FRACGP), CEO, Pathways Foundation 4. Barry Williams, President, Lone Father's Association Australia 5. Sue Price, Men's Rights Agency 6. Wayne Butler, Director, Shared Parenting Council 7. Russell Workman, CEO, Mensheds Australia 8. Greg Millan, Men's Health Worker - Men's Health Education & Community Ev= ents 9. Greg Andresen, Media Liaison with Men's Health Australia, Researcher and= Producer with Dads on the Air 10. Peter Berger, Prison Fellowship & Fatherhood Foundation 11. Simon Hunt, Family Law Action Group 12. John Stapleton, Program Director of Dads on the Air 13. Wanda Taylor, Rural Families, Fatherhood Foundation 14. Ian Purdie, Presenter, Dads on the Air 15. John Flanagan, Fairness in Child Support 16. Warwick Marsh, Director, Fatherhood Foundation On 8th April 2008 some of the leaders within the men and father's movement = convened a 2020 Summit teleconference to discuss the discrimination against men and = fathers in the summit. Opinions varied from disappointment to a sense of disbelief = and betrayal that the Labor Party who had won so many members of the men's movement vote= at the last election through their announcement of a Men's Health Policy, would no= w sacrifice the needs and concerns of Australian families on the altar of political cor= rectness. Many men also expressed their concern about the Labor Party's apparent disi= nterest in expediting the desperately needed Men's Health Policy. According to our projection 115 men have died by suicide since the Men's He= alth=20 Forum held on 19th March 2008. This number includes many indigenous men and= yet=20 nothing seems to be forthcoming in the way of real progress from the Labor = Party on a National Men's Health Policy. The continuing epidemic of men's suicide was one of the more urgent issues = at the Men's Health Forum. The topics for consideration in the Communities and Families section of the= 2020 Summit would also indicate that men and fathers are a low priority item in= the=20 discussion. It is ironic that many of the problems listed on the background paper of th= e 2020 Summit such as: Increased levels of domestic violence Drug addiction Gambling addictions Alcoholism Psychological problems Homelessness Sexual abuse Rape Violence Crime Poverty Declining birth rate - are directly related to the epidemic of fatherlessness that is afflicting= our=20 nation. In other words the very group that could make a significant contribution to= the=20 issues being discussed has been excluded from participation. Mr Rudd promised that the summit would not have the usual suspects. The reverse would seem to be the case. The summit delegate list reveals tha= t political correctness has overtaken the selection process. Even noted demographer Ber= nard=20 Salt in talking about the delegate list said "The first thing it says is th= at we are a people occupied with political correctness". We believe the summit c= ould=20 well be toxic to families. If you are concerned about the gender bias and i= ts adverse affect on families in the 2020 Summit we encourage you to send out your own= Media Release on the subject of anti-family 'Gender Bias in the 2020 Summit'. Per= haps=20 you could contact your own local federal member and alert them to the probl= em. Thanking you for your interest in the well being of Australian families - t= he men, women and children of Australia. Kind regards Warwick Marsh Fatherhood Foundation 0418 225 212 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ News & Info Release of new Family Car Gauge ___________________________________________________________________________= _ MEDIA RELEASE 2020 Summit Fatally Flawed The fatherhood and family-friendly men's movement is concerned that anti-ma= le gender bias in the 2020 Summit process could damage Australian families. Warwick Marsh, founder of the Fatherhood Foundation said, "When I first hea= rd about Mr Rudd's 2020 Summit I was filled with hope at such a brilliant bi-partisa= n approach to fixing many of Australia's problems. As one of the members of the men's = movement I applied for a position knowing my chances would be slim because there are= many within the men's movement far more qualified. There were 8,000 application= s, but only 1,000 were successful. I accepted my rejection until I found that 16 a= pplications from the fatherhood and men's movement had suffered a similar rejection, in= cluding highly respected leaders such as Professor John Macdonald from Western Sydn= ey University and President of the Australian Men's Health Forum, and Associate Professor= , Barry Golding, University of Ballarat, Australia's leading expert on Men's Sheds.= Long time workers in men and father's issues such as Barry Williams and Greg An= dresen were also rejected. There should be a least two representatives, if not mor= e, from such a group of community leaders with a passion for family-friendly forwar= d motion." Mr Marsh continued, "Such gender bias comes through again in the fact that = whilst the overall 2020 Summit is evenly balanced, the critical families and commu= nity=20 section of the Summit has 62% females but only 38% males. Last time I count= ed, a child was produced equally by a man and a woman. Family life is bipartisan= by design. Every study shows that children do better in a natural biological family. F= amilies are the building block of our communities and our nation. To rebuild our na= tion, we need to rebuild families. To rebuild families we must engage and resour= ce men to become great fathers and husbands. It is ironic that many of the problems listed on the background paper of th= e 2020 Summit such as: Increased levels of domestic violence Drug addiction Gambling addictions Alcoholism Psychological problems Homelessness Sexual abuse Rape Violence Crime Poverty Declining birth rate - are directly related to the epidemic of fatherlessness that is afflicting= our=20 nation. In other words the very group that could make a significant contribution to= the=20 issues being discussed has been excluded from participation. Unless the fam= ily section of the 2020 Summit is bipartisan it will always be fatally flawed." For further information contact: Warwick Marsh 0418 225 212 02 4272 6677 = =20 www.fatherhood.org.au [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavxKc7Y= vzBE6KOssiD4GYJh9ogyWkK2Xmu5FHG6Imzn2t5exiGDIj7Sm-mN9vEufKaokEvCaT7_GJ-tSNQ= CRAmikm9sR_h05eqmlFF5DofOLHA=3D=3D] __________________________________________________ Sunshine Expo Senator Ron Boswell will be speaking at the Sunshine Coast region's LIFE Ex= po at Maroochydore Baptist Sunshine Coast QLD on Wednesday, April 23rd, at 6.30p= m. Sunshine Coast Frontline Christian groups are gathering to network with the= broader community, to present their work and needs and to offer opportunities for a= ction. The night is all about helping and resourcing pregnant women and providin= g support for families. Please contact Bev Holmes-Brown for more information on T. 07 54423631 / 04= 01 976625 or emailbev@link-zone.net [mailto:bev@link-zone.net] ___________________________________________________________________________= __ Read more about the Ideology that is being confronted in Canada Feminism-Who's oppressing who [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3tUDJssavzrUAL= xafa3UB-_Y31WhkpDrOkjVYjfpJJBTsw6EwKhf1K7W19DzUiy_SsvYF-LYmRNLNpmTvM2jS1maF= 1CKn1Ynwbbl7aHl_kYO7v_xyNViLrXv5ZGCzApwdp2ROF6UjjzuyP5erFVykayIJdtXhCr] ___________________________________________________________________________= __ The National Day of Thanksgiving is a unique opportunity for Australians to= celebrate and give thanks for our God given heritage as a nation and to demonstrate t= he God given values of honour, respect, thankfulness and gratitude towards our fel= low man that have made us the great nation we are. It is a day for us to pause as a nation and say thank you to God and to eac= h other for those many things we often take for granted but which really make our l= ives=20 worth living. Let us use this day to be a blessing to those who have been = a blessing to us during the past year. An opportunity not an event-Take the link [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001c3t= UDJssavyrIVfUW_0ET4SG1pDcdMjMaX4RC3yGTatXMtkiEUg3Bg6lQMnfy55JD2710jj9cFl0Em= aa9YEEcMn3V4RlC943tawsr3Hi6H14Sk5pk2sD6Qp3GjZpTri-IZCsbY10JFM=3D] ___________________________________________________________________________= ___ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation Thank you for a great newsletter. Brad Hayman Cape Town South Africa ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Dad's Prayer Dear Father Help us not to pass our failings on to our children. They will have enough of their own to contend with. Help us instead to be a source of light and love, in a world that is sometimes filled with darkness and hate. Fill our hearts with light so that we can radiate Your light In a world that needs to feel the warmth of Your love. So - we will give our children something that they will pass to the next generation, and break the cycle of sadness, creating a cycle of gladness. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in father= ing.=20 Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, = loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's moth= er. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessm= ent Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed,=20 or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive fut= ure emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Forward email http://ui.constantcontact.com/sa/fwtf.jsp?m=3D1101938345415&ea=3Dblane@uow.= edu.au&a=3D1102055793953 This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by info@fathersonline.org Update Profile/Email Address http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=3D001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBL= DU8ykgMbU-CSFDW4vL3_3ri6hpDtAUaXg-2HjQNO_A9PD6-GZs62edfJHxQ%3D%3D&p=3Doo Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(TM) http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=3D001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBL= DU8ykgMbU-CSFDW4vL3_3ri6hpDtAUaXg-2HjQNO_A9PD6-GZs62edfJHxQ%3D%3D&p=3Dun Privacy Policy: http://ui.constantcontact.com/roving/CCPrivacyPolicy.jsp Email Marketing by Constant Contact(R) www.constantcontact.com Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia ------=_Part_623173_2069237886.1208042766424 Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
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14th April 2008   = ;       Inspiring Fathers   Encouraging Families Issue 295
=09=09
Sins of the Father
Confessions of a Mafia Hitman
=09=09
=09
=09=09
Dear Brian,

Welc= ome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information service f= or the fathers and families as we look at the Confessions of a Mafia Hitman= and the pain within.

=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09
In This Issue
Frontline...There is nothing like a negligent father
Laughter..Our relatives
Grandfathers...Grace your children
All You Need is Love..Marriage is a lot of work
Single Dads...Overcoming Anger
Special Feature...Open letter to Australia =09=09
News & Info..Open letter, news
Dad's Prayer..Pass on the gladness
Next Week&nb= sp;
 = Work, Life, Balance
=09=09		 =09=09=09=09 =09=09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09=09
Quick Links<= /strong>
=09
=09=09
T= hought of the Week
      =20
      
 

3D"Conv=

 

You can't do much about your ancestors<= /font>

bu= t you can influence your descendants enormously.

 = ;

Anon
Frontline
 

Stafano Guazzo said, "Among all the = abuses of the world . . . there is 3D"Negnone worse than a negligent father". The scriptures say, "The = sins of the father go down to the third and fourth generation". When father= s go right, families go right. When fathers go wrong families go wrong. The= results can be devastating.

 

Author Philip Carlo has written a book called 'The Ice Man = - Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer' =A92007 St Martins Griffin. The f= ollowing extract from a story in The Australian 3/1/2007 gives a glimpse in= to a childhood that produced a man thought to have killed more than 200 peo= ple on behalf of US gangsters.

 

<= span>As far back as Richard Kuklinski could remember, his father was beatin= g him. He once related: "When my father - father, that's a joke - came home= and I said hello, he'd say hello by slapping me across the face."

 

<= span>Stanley Kuklinski, a railway brakeman who had been born in Warsaw, Pol= and, drank whisky with beer chasers: boilermakers. When he drank, his viole= nce grew indiscriminate. He took to wrapping his garrison belt around his h= ard-knuckled fist and punching his sons with it. It was like being struck b= y a two-by-four. He was fond of hitting his children in the head and often = knocked Florian and Richard unconscious.

 

<= span>Little by little Stanley was, in effect, beating the very necessary hu= man elements of compassion and empathy out of his second-born, clearly deli= neating the path Richard's life would take.

 

<= span>Finally, Stanley did the unspeakable: he murdered his son Florian with= one of his beatings. He hit the frail boy on the back of the head one too = many times, knocking him to the floor. The boy never got back up. Stanley m= ade his beautiful wife Anna, who had once wanted to be a nun, tell family, = friends and the authorities that Florian died after falling down the stairs= and striking his head. No one questioned the story, and Florian was laid o= ut in the Kuklinski living room, just down the block from St Mary's Church,= Jersey City, where this ill-matched couple had been wed.=

 

<= span>Richard was just five when his brother was killed. Anna told Richard t= hat Florian had been hit by a car. Richard had no conception of death; he j= ust knew that Florian lay in a cheap wooden coffin that smelled of pine in = the living room. It was as if Florian was asleep, but he would not wake up.=

 

<= span>After Florian's murder, Stanley let up on Richard for a while, but it = wasn't long before he went back to his old ways. The beatings became even m= ore brutal and frequent. Stanley seemed to blame Richard for everything unj= ust that had ever happened to him, for all the curveballs life threw him. A= nna's answer was to attend church and silently ask God for help. She took t= o facing a wall and praying fervently as Stanley beat the young boy. Richar= d often went to sleep with bruises; sometimes, he was so covered with eggpl= ant coloured welts that he couldn't go outside or to school.<= /i>

 

<= span>Richard grew into a painfully shy, awkward child with little confidenc= e in himself. He viewed the world as a brutal, violent place filled with pa= in and turmoil. Richard had been very close to Florian; he had held him tig= ht when his father beat their mother and smashed the family's meagre posses= sions. Now Florian was gone and Richard had to face his father alone. He wa= s a thin, frail boy and it didn't take long for neighbourhood toughs to sta= rt picking on him, which only compounded his feelings of isolation and rese= ntment. His anxieties mounted.

 

<= span>Two Irish brothers who lived on the block regularly accosted Richard. = One Saturday morning they gave him a particularly severe beating. Richard m= anaged to escape the attack and run home. Stanley, home that day, watched t= he attack from the front window. When Richard arrived home, Stanley took of= f his belt and beat the boy, demanding that he go back downstairs and fight= the brothers. "No kid 'a mine's gonna be a chicken sh*t," he bellowed, str= iking Richard across the face with his belt. Confused, his face burning, a = red welt forming, Richard hurried back to the street. "Go get 'em," Stanley= ordered from the window, and Richard did exactly what he was told. With ne= wfound ferocity and pent-up hostility, he laid into the brothers, giving th= em both a terrific beating. Their father, a tall, gangly Irishman named O'B= rian, came out of the house and roughly pushed Richard away. Amazed, Richar= d watched as Stanley leapt out of the second-story window, landed squarely = on his feet, and stormed across Third Street.3D"Kids

 

<= span>He slapped O'Brian across the face, saying: "When your kids beat up my= kid, you watched and did nothing. When my kid fought back, you stopped it.= " Stanley then hit O'Brian so hard that he knocked him out right there on t= he sidewalk in front of everyone.

 

<= span>Richard learned that day that might was right. He often wondered why h= is father and mother didn't like him, what he had done to deserve their ind= ifference and violence. He drew further into himself, was always alone, cou= ldn't seem to make friends and a seething fiery rage slowly grew inside the= small boy.

 

Edited extract from The Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Kille= r by Philip Carlo, Harper Collins.

 

= Lovework

 

Now that you've read the worst you c= an work on becoming the best.

 

Fathers do make an impact. Your infl= uence reaches down through the generations. That's why you receive this new= sletter every week. Keep up the great work!

 

Yours for the next generation=

Warwick Marsh

 

PS The 2020 Summit is being held in = Canberra this coming week. The purpose of the 2020 Summit is to "shape a lo= ng term strategy for the nation's future&= nbsp; . . . and ensure nobody is left out of Australia's future".

 

Looking at the lack of repre= sentation from within the Men and Father's movement it would seem that men = and fathers have once again been left out of the equation. If you want to m= ake your voice heard about this important omission, please check out our Me= dia Release in the News & Info section and pass it on to those who need to = hear it.   

_____________= _________________________________________________________________
Warwick Marsh&nb= sp; has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grand= father of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl,= ranging in age from 27 years to 15 years.  Warwick is a musician= , songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still l= augh at himself.
=09=09
Laughter
=  =20

3D"FunnyA little girl asked her father, 'How did the human race appe= ar?'

 

The father answered, 'God made Adam and= Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.'

 

Two days later the girl asked her mothe= r the same question. The mother answered, 'Many years ago there were monkey= s from which the human race evolved.'

 

The confused girl returned to her fathe= r and said, 'Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was cr= eated by God, and Mom said they developed from monkeys?'

 

The father answered, 'Well, dear, it is= very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your mother told y= ou about hers.'

 
Grandfathers
 

3D"Man

 

We c= an either grace our children

or damn th= em with unrequited wounds

which neve= r seem to heal . . .

men, as fa= thers you have such power.

 

R Kent Highes=

 = ;

All You Nee= d is Love
 

.

Marriage, athletics take a lot o= f work

By Robert "Bird" Brown April 06, 20083D"Sports<= /span>

 

This week, my wife and I celebrate our 19th wedding anniv= ersary. Feel free to send her condolences. If she didn't know what type of = sports life she had in front of her in the two years of courtship, then hav= ing our reception planned at the same time and location as the annual Towso= n vs. Loyola lacrosse game should have driven home the point. . . .<= /span>

 

Nineteen years of anything is a lot, but couples staying = married for that long are becoming scarce and it's something I'm most proud= of. Of the couples that got married in the same year that we were, only 52= % of us are still married to the same person. We are nowhere near the longe= vity of many couples, but to put things into perspective for how long ago t= hat was, in the same year we were married, tens of thousands of Chinese stu= dents took over Beijing's Tiananmen Square to protest for freedom, Mikhail = Gorbachev was elected president of the Soviet Union, the Berlin Wall fell a= fter 28 years and the U.S. invaded Panama to capture Manuel Noriega.=

 

All of those significant events in world history are now = being taught in the classrooms of the students that I coach and yet we were= lucky enough to have lived through it. There are many, many lessons that w= e've learned over the years of being together that also share a foundation = with the lessons you can teach and learn with participation in sports.

 

It's all about doing the hard work. Too many times when t= hings get hard or complicated, human nature steers us toward the easy path.= We try to take shortcuts that we think will get us the same result, but wi= thout putting in the hard work we don't set the foundation for what will ge= t us through when things become difficult. There's no substitute for puttin= g all of your energies into reaching your goal.

 

You must be able to pull your end of the weight. Your com= mitment to the common good is of utmost importance. It is said that a good = marriage is a 50/50 partnership and there's something to be said for that. = We need to be prepared to give 100%, because if someone's not pulling their= 50%, then you won't ever be at full strength. Sometimes it's 60/40, someti= mes 80/20. In sports, you can't always get everyone on the team to give the= ir best all the time, so the rest of the players need to be playing at the = top of their game to compensate for anyone who falls back.

 

Sacrifice is a key element of any partnership. Once you m= ake a decision to not go it alone, the needs and wants of your teammates ha= ve to weigh into any future decisions or activities to make sure that you a= re working for the common good. Sometimes you want to play quarterback, but= the team needs you at middle linebacker. You may not like it, but because = the team needs you to perform at its best, you make the sacrifice for your = teammates.

 

What makes things really successful is when you can accom= plish what's good for the "team" yet maintain your individuality. As the au= thor May Sarton wrote, "No partner . . . should feel that he has to give up= an essential part of himself to make it viable". For that, I'm grateful.

 

Copyright 200= 8 Robert Brown

.=

=09=09 =09=09
Single Dads
=
 

You and Your Children's Mother: Overcoming Ange= r for Your Kids' Sake

by Patrick Batchel= dor

Getting tired of hearing about how all single dads are angry? If you're = like me, you don't even read the "deadbeat dad" articles anymore - it's eno= ugh to make you mad!

The real danger of that kind of anger is that it can very easily cloud y= our thinking and make you temporarily forget one of your most valued priori= ties in life, your kids. What's really best for you and them? Do you really= get that much satisfaction out of hating your former wife? Who's really be= ing hurt here? If there's a constant pain in your stomach, it isn't her tha= t's bleeding; it's you - and the kids.

3D"Image"Like many things in life, hate is a choice= . It may seem like an uncontrollable reaction, but in not learning to contr= ol your anger, you have chosen to hate. I'm not asking you to love the kids= ' mom again; that's a choice too. There's a middle ground you have to reach= -the lack of anger and hate. It's a very necessary first step in bringing h= ealing to your family.

I'll be borrowing from Ken Canfield's book, The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers<= /font>-specifi= cally, secret five: Loving Their Mother. I know it may be hard to even thin= k about right now, but force yourself - for you and your children's sake. <= /font>

Distrust Your Former Wife? Your Kids Will, Too

No one's perfect - including you. Sometimes we're late; we all do things= that hurt others, too. With that in mind, let go of all the distrust you c= an, especially if it's based on old memories. If you choose to re-live that= distrust over and over in your mind, it will give you an ulcer.

But, even worse, your children will pick up on the distrust like the sme= ll of hamburgers on the grill. Your attitude won't come back to haunt her, = only you and your kids. If you reinforce that she can't be trusted or doesn= 't keep promises, you'll only create a basic anxiety and fear in your kids'= lives. They may not trust any women. Your son could grow up to have a stri= ng of failed relationships with women; your daughter may develop negative v= iews of womanhood or motherhood. They'll learn to distrust you for it too, = and that could undermine many of the other things you're trying to do as a = dad.

No matter how much satisfaction you may get out of spite, don't do that = to your kids. Now that the marriage is over, why not be a little forgiving?=

Can't Bring Yourself to Talk to Their Mom?

I remember a grade school program where my son was up on the bleachers, = singing his heart out about Frosty the Snowman. His mom and I were sitting = on the front row, talking. What did we talk about? My son John, of course. = No need to be angry about the past or present. No need to hate anyone. Only= a great reason to communicate our mutual love and hopes for the life of th= is great little guy.

Afterwards, when we were standing around with all the other proud parent= s, a woman approached me and said, "I was talking to your wife, and she sai= d ...." Oh boy. My wife! Then I stopped and thought, Of course. It was an e= asy mistake, but I also took it as a compliment, because it reflected that = we were taking a tense situation and choosing to make the best of it. We bo= th hugged John and then went our separate ways. No ulcers, no atmosphere of= distrust, no lack of communication, no anger. Who benefited? My son John, = myself, and maybe their mom. We all won and it felt great. You can win and = bring your kids into the equation too.

Think about the future now. Imagine no hate, anger or distrust aimed at = your children's mother. You're there, and there is laughter, affirmation, e= ven love. Your kids see their potential, love their mom for who she is, and= give you credit for being the dad all their friends would like to have.

What more can life give in your role as a dad? Not much. Try it! =

_____________________________________________________________________

Patrick Batchelder is a writer and single-father advocate. He lives= in Colorado with his son and daughter.

Reprinted from= www.fathers.com 

Special Feature
 
 =20

Open Letter to th= e Men & Father's Movement of Australia

 

The fa= mily friendly men's movement is deeply concerned with the apparent discrimi= nation in the 2020 Summit process against the men and fathers of Australia.= This discrimination is damaging to the families of Australia. We applaud o= ur fellow Australians who are sacrificing to take part in the summit. They = are not to blame. Our disappointment is with the Prime Minister and the gov= ernment who are responsible for the process of the summit selection and bri= efing papers.

 

We cal= l on men and father's groups, who are family friendly, to contact their own= media representatives and issue urgent media releases to state their own o= pinions on the adverse effects of this discrimination on the mothers, fathe= rs and children of Australia, and to call for constructive and positive sol= utions to redress this imbalance.3D"Family

 

Our ne= w Prime Minister, the Hon Kevin Rudd, has convened the 2020 Summit for Satu= rday 19th and Sunday 20th April 2008. The goal of the 2020 Summit, in the P= rime Minister's own words is to:

 

'Harne= ss the best ideas . . . and shape a long term strategy for the nation's fut= ure . . . and ensure nobody is left out of Australia's future.'

 

These = goals are commendable but for the Summit to succeed it is critical that the= 2020 Summit is representational of Australian families. Men and woman are = equal and both are important contributors to the Australian family. Childre= n do best in the natural biological family, in fact each child is created b= y a man and a woman.

 

It wou= ld seem that this fact has escaped the Summit organisers as the information= below shows.

 

The ov= erall summit has equal female-male representation but the critical Family a= nd community section is very biased. So far the Communities and Families se= ction has 62% females and 38% males. This inequality of balanced representa= tion is also reflected in the fact that it would seem that the Men and Fath= er's movement is not represented at all in this important family and commun= ity section of the 2020 Summit. One thousand delegates were chosen out of 8= ,000 applications. We have record of 16 applications from within the Men an= d Father's movement as listed below and suspect that there are many more th= at applied but were rejected. This means that there should be at least a mi= nimum of between 1 and 2 representatives from within the Men and Father's m= ovement for the Communities & Families section of the 2020 Summit.

 

The tr= agedy is that men, the largest minority group in Australia, at 49.2%, have = been left out again.

 

Here a= re the people from the movement who were nominated for the 2020 Summit but = were unsuccessful.

 

1. Pro= fessor John MacDonald, Foundation Chair in Primary Health Care, Co-Director= Men's Health Information and Resource Centre, University of Western Sydney= . President, Australasian Men's Health Forum.

 

2. Ass= ociate Professor Barry Golding, University of Ballarat, Researching Adult &= Vocational Education (RAVE) Group. Adult Learning Australia Visiting Resea= rch Fellow. Australia's leading expert on Men's Sheds and Adult Learning fo= r Older Men.

 

3. Dr = Arne Rubenstein (MBBS, FRACGP), CEO, Pathways Foundation

 

4. Bar= ry Williams, President, Lone Father's Association Australia

 

5. Sue= Price, Men's Rights Agency

 

6. Way= ne Butler, Director, Shared Parenting Council

 

7. Rus= sell Workman, CEO, Mensheds Australia

 

8. Gre= g Millan, Men's Health Worker - Men's Health Education & Community Events

 

9. Gre= g Andresen, Media Liaison with Men's Health Australia, Researcher and Produ= cer with Dads on the Air

 

10. Pe= ter Berger, Prison Fellowship & Fatherhood Foundation

 

11. Si= mon Hunt, Family Law Action Group

 

12. Jo= hn Stapleton, Program Director of Dads on the Air

 

13. Wa= nda Taylor, Rural Families, Fatherhood Foundation

 

14. Ia= n Purdie, Presenter, Dads on the Air

 

15. Jo= hn Flanagan, Fairness in Child Support

 

16. Wa= rwick Marsh, Director, Fatherhood Foundation

 

On 8th= April 2008 some of the leaders within the men and father's movement conven= ed a 2020 Summit teleconference to discuss the discrimination against men a= nd fathers in the summit. Opinions varied from disappointment to a sense of= disbelief and betrayal that the Labor Party who had won so many members of= the men's movement vote at the last election through their announcement of= a Men's Health Policy, would now sacrifice the needs and concerns of Austr= alian families on the altar of political correctness. Many men also express= ed their concern about the Labor Party's apparent disinterest in expediting= the desperately needed Men's Health Policy.

 

Accord= ing to our projection 115 men have died by suicide since the Men's Health F= orum held on 19th March 2008. This number includes many indigenous men and = yet nothing seems to be forthcoming in the way of real progress from the La= bor Party on a National Men's Health Policy.

The co= ntinuing epidemic of men's suicide was one of the more urgent issues at the= Men's Health Forum.

 

The to= pics for consideration in the Communities and Families section of the 2020 = Summit would also indicate that men and fathers are a low priority item in = the discussion.

 

It is = ironic that many of the problems listed on the background paper of the 2020= Summit such as:

Increa= sed levels of domestic violence3D"Man

Drug a= ddiction

Gambli= ng addictions

Alcoho= lism

Psycho= logical problems

Homele= ssness

Sexual= abuse

Rape

Violen= ce

Crime<= /span>

Povert= y

Declin= ing birth rate

 

- are = directly related to the epidemic of fatherlessness that is afflicting our n= ation.

 

In oth= er words the very group that could make a significant contribution to the i= ssues being discussed has been excluded from participation.

 

Mr Rud= d promised that the summit would not have the usual suspects.

The re= verse would seem to be the case. The summit delegate list reveals that poli= tical correctness has overtaken the selection process. Even noted demograph= er Bernard Salt in talking about the delegate list said "The first thing it= says is that we are a people occupied with political correctness". We beli= eve the summit could well be toxic to families. If you are concerned about = the gender bias and its adverse affect on families in the 2020 Summit we en= courage you to send out your own Media Release on the subject of anti-famil= y 'Gender Bias in the 2020 Summit'. Perhaps you could contact your own loca= l federal member and alert them to the problem.

 

Thanki= ng you for your interest in the well being of Australian families - the men= , women and children of Australia.

 

Kind r= egards

Warwick Marsh Fatherhood = Foundation 0418 225 212

 

 

 

   News & Info
3D"Fuel
 
 
 
Release of new Family Car Gauge
 
 
 
 
______________________________________________________________________= ______
 
3D"Fatherhood
 

= MEDIA RELEASE

 

= 2020 Summit Fatally Flawed<= /span>

 

The fatherhoo= d and family-friendly men's movement is concerned that anti-male gender bia= s in the 2020 Summit process could damage Australian families.

 

Warwick Marsh= , founder of the Fatherhood Foundation said, "When I first heard about Mr R= udd's  2020 Summit I was fill= ed with hope at such a brilliant bi-partisan approach to fixing many of Aus= tralia's problems. As one of the members of the men's movement I applied fo= r a position knowing my chances would be slim because there are many within= the men's movement far more qualified. There were 8,000 applications, but = only 1,000 were successful. I accepted my rejection until I found that 16 a= pplications from the fatherhood and men's movement had suffered a similar r= ejection, including highly respected leaders such as Professor John Macdona= ld from Western Sydney University and President of the Australian Men's Hea= lth Forum, and Associate Professor, Barry Golding, University of Ballarat, = Australia's leading expert on Men's Sheds. Long time workers in men and fat= her's issues such as Barry Williams and Greg Andresen were also rejected.  There should be a least two r= epresentatives, if not more, from such a group of community leaders with a = passion for family-friendly forward motion."

 

Mr Marsh continued, "Such gender bias comes through again= in the fact that whilst the overall 2020 Summit is evenly balanced, the cr= itical families and community section of the Summit has 62% females but onl= y 38% males. Last time I counted, a child was produced equally by a man and= a woman. Family life is bipartisan by design. Every study shows that child= ren do better in a natural biological family. Families are the building blo= ck of our communities and our nation. To rebuild our nation, we need to reb= uild families. To rebuild families we must engage and resource men to becom= e great fathers and husbands.

 

It is ironic that many of the problems listed on the back= ground paper of the 2020 Summit such as:

 

Increased levels of domestic violence

Drug addiction

Gambling addictions

Alcoholism

Psychological problems

Homelessness

Sexual abuse

Rape

Violence

Crime

Poverty

Declining birth rate

 

- are directly related to the epidemic of fatherlessness = that is afflicting our nation.

 

In other word= s the very group that could make a significant contribution to the issues b= eing discussed has been excluded from participation. Unless the family sect= ion of the 2020 Summit is bipartisan it will always be fatally flawed."

 

For further i= nformation contact:

= Warwick Marsh   &= nbsp;  0418 225 212   02 4272 6677                  &= nbsp;      = ;            &n= bsp;        www.fatherhood.org.au
__________________________________________________
 

Sunshine Expo

Senator Ron Boswell will be speaking at the Sunshine Coast reg= ion's LIFE Expo at Maroochydore Baptist Sunshine Coast= QLD on Wednesday, April 23rd, at 6.30pm.

Sunshine Coast Frontline Christian groups are gathering to net= work with the broader community, to present the= ir work and needs and to offer opportunities for actio= n. The night is all about helping and resourcin= g   pregnant women and providing support for families.

Please contact Bev Holmes-Brown for more information on T. 07 = 54423631 / 0401 976625   or email<= /font> bev@link-zone.net

 ______= _______________________________________________________________________

Read more about the Ideology that is being confronted in Canada
 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
______________________________________________________________________= _______
 
3D"Thanksgiving
The National Day of Thanksgiving is a unique opportunity fo= r Australians to celebrate and give thanks for our God given = ;heritage as a nation and to demonstrate the God given values of honou= r, respect, thankfulness and gratitude towards our fellow man that have mad= e us the great nation we are.
 
It is a day for us to pause as a nation and say thank you t= o God and to each other for those many things we often take for grante= d but which really make our lives worth living.  Let us use this day t= o be a blessing to those who have been a blessing to us during the pas= t year.
______________________________________________________________________= ________
Letters
 

D= ear Fatherhood Foundation

Thank you for a great ne= wsletter.

 

Brad Hayman

Cape Town

South Africa

<= /div>
D= ad's Prayer
 =20

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">Dear Father

<= font color=3D"#cc0066" size=3D"3" face=3D"Comic Sans MS,Verdana,Helvetica,s= ans-serif"> 

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">Help us not to pass3D"Father

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">our failings

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">on to our children.

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">They will have enough of their own

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">to contend with.

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">Help us instead

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">to be a source of light and love,

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">in a world that is sometimes

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">filled with darkness and hate.<= /span>

Fill our hearts with lig= ht       &nb= sp;  

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">so that we can radiate Your light

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">In a world that needs to feel <= /span>

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">the warmth of Your love.=

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">So - we will give our children<= /span>

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">something that they will pass <= /span>

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">to the next generation,<= /p>

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">and break the cycle of sadness,=

<= font size=3D"3"><= font color=3D"#cc0066">creating a cycle of gladness.

 
=09 =09
=09=09 =09=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fu= nd
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a r= eceipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 = 695
A/C: 25-5558

 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW&nb= sp; 2520
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

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3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by i= nfo@fathersonline.org
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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