Received: from evaki.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.32]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Tue, 27 May 2008 21:27:11 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by evaki.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1K0xKh-00052Q-Mi for blane@uow.edu.au; Tue, 27 May 2008 21:27:11 +1000 Received: from ccm06.constantcontact.com (ccm06.constantcontact.com [63.251.135.98]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id KWS79918; Tue, 27 May 2008 21:27:00 +1000 (EST) Received: from p1-ws103.ad.prodcc.net (unknown [10.250.0.101]) by ccm06.constantcontact.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 8E1394006B; Tue, 27 May 2008 04:30:21 -0400 (EDT) Message-ID: <1933734722.1211882904737.JavaMail.ccwas@p1-ws103.ad.prodcc.net> Date: Tue, 27 May 2008 06:08:24 -0400 (EDT) From: Fatherhood Foundation Reply-To: info@fathersonline.org To: libertybm@bigpond.com, blane@uow.edu.au Subject: Changing the World - One Father at a Time Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_Part_36487_1203652542.1211882904723" X-Mailer: Roving Constant Contact 0 (http://www.constantcontact.com) X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A090209.483BF00F.003C:SCFSTAT1137939,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=63.251.135.98, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 Return-Path: ccbounce+info=fathersonline.org@in.constantcontact.com X-OriginalArrivalTime: 27 May 2008 11:27:11.0810 (UTC) FILETIME=[9B42EA20:01C8BFEC] ------=_Part_36487_1203652542.1211882904723 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 12th May 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 299 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Changing the World One Father at a Time ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Ron, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information service for the fathers and families as we change the world In This Issue Frontline...Make a better world for children Laughter..Truck licence Grandfathers...What are you doing for others All You Need is Love..I don't know how Single Dads...My friend Special Feature...Survivor News & Info..Parents in the news Dad's Prayer..What are you doing for others ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next Week A Tale of Two Fathers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=1101938345415&id=preview] Join our Mailing List! [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=1101938345415&id=preview] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fathersonline.org%2F&id=preview] Dads in Distress [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dadsindistress.asn.au%2F&id=preview] Focus on the Family [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.families.org.au%2F&id=preview] National Centre for fathering [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fathers.com%2F&id=preview] Oz Family Life [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ozfamily.org.au%2F&id=preview] Dads Uni [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fdadsuni.com%2F&id=preview] Men of Integrity [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.menofintegrity.org%2F&id=preview] Lifeline [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lifeline.org.au%2F&id=preview] Equal Parenting Party [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ncpp.xisle.info%2F&id=preview] CSA Adverts [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fathersonline.org%2FtvRadio.html%232006f&id=preview] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thought of the Week Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Frontline The children had been playing together after school in the sprawling suburb of Ambarvale in south western Sydney. It was Wednesday 17th October 2007. The children had noticed a tartan suitcase floating in the pond, partly submerged. Being curious, they waited for it to float closer to shore. When they opened the suitcase they were horrified at what they saw. There was the partly decomposed body of a naked little boy wrapped in plastic. The police were called and the investigations begun. The next day Ann Coffey visited the local police station to check on her missing grandson. She even saw them bring in the tartan suitcase. A police officer drove Ann Coffey around to Pindarus Way, Rosemeadow, the home occupied by Rachel Pfitzner and her boyfriend of more than a year, to make enquiries about her young grandson. The terrible truth emerged that Ann's two year old grandson Dean Shillingsworth, the boy with the cheeky smile, was the child in the suitcase. His mother Rachel was arrested and charged with his murder. Sadly little Dean's father was in Junee gaol unable to do anything to help. I talked with a prison chaplain, who said that Dean's father, Paul, was also a fatherless child. Sadly, the cycle of fatherlessness had been repeated and the results were devastating for little Dean. This week Dr Greg Tooley from Melbourne's Deakin University released a damning study of the impact of fatherlessness on our children. See the full story on his study in News & Info. Psychologist Dr Tooley studied 900 coronial inquiries into child deaths from violence or accident which appear to bear out theories of the so-called Cinderella effect. He found that children with a stepparent were at least 17 times more likely to die from intentional violence or accident. I read that another version of the same study found that the death for children outside the natural parent/family pattern was 77 times. So I rang Dr Tooley. He confirmed that the 77 times mortality figure was in fact the true statistic. He pointed out to me that researchers Daly & Wilson in Canada had shown children to be up to 100 times more at risk of death outside the natural biological family unit. Independent studies in the UK, USA, Korea, Sweden and New Zealand bear out the unfortunate reality of these results. There are a million children today in Australia who live apart from there natural father. In many other homes Dad isphysicallypresent but emotionally absent and uninvolved. Fatherlessness is still the net result.Unless we can quickly awaken our society to the important role that fathers play in nurturing and protecting our children and the damage caused to our children by fatherlessness many more young children like Dean Shillingsworth will die needlessly. The aim of the Fatherhood Foundation, as a Harm Prevention Charity, is to help stop child abuse. How can we do this? Simply by changing, one father at a time. The safest place for a child to grow up is with a loving mother and father in the natural family. Every time you read this newsletter you are participating in that process of change. Every time you send this newsletter on to a fellow father you are assisting in that change. Every time you donate [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ourcommunity.com.au%2Fgiving%2Fappeal_details.form%3FappealId%3D1459&id=preview] to the Fatherhood Foundation you help get the message of excellence in fathering to more dads. Firstly, we have to value both motherhood and fatherhood equally. Secondly, we must realize that gender does matter and as mothers and fathers we each have unique but complimentary parenting roles. Thirdly, we must promote excellence in fathering as the norm and not the unusual. Most fathers want to be good dads, they just need a little help and encouragement. Social change does not come from the many, but the few. As Margaret Mead said, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." In 1949 China became a communist nation because of 1% of committed people. However that process started with 12 men in Shanghai in 1921. Out of small things big things grow. The same concept can also reflect in positive ways. Take for instance William Wilberforce's battle to end the slave trade. His battle began with a very small group of people willing to proclaim the truth. Will you help us in the battle for our children? Lovework We don't often ask for help but Dr Tooley's statistics have inspired me to be bolder. You see it's not actually about us as dads, it's about our children. Together, we, a small group of caring dads, can make a difference. Please consider spreading the word about the Fatherhood Foundation's harm prevention strategies to help stop child abuse. Maybe you would like to make a tax deductible donation [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ourcommunity.com.au%2Fgiving%2Fappeal_details.form%3FappealId%3D1459&id=preview] Let's work together for the children of Australia and the children of the world. Yours for changing the world, one father at a time. Warwick Marsh PS. Today marks a new chapter for the Fatherhood Foundation. This Mother's Day is a milestone we will never forget. We are more committed than ever to saving our children from fatherlessness. We pledge to boldly ask for your assistance to partner with us and help change the world, one father at a time. Ways that you can help us are found at our website [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fatherhood.org.au%2Fdonate.html&id=preview]. Together we can make Australia and the world a better place for our children! ______________________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfather of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Laughter I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline Got a call centre in Pakistan I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Grandfathers Life's most urgent question is: What are you doing for others? Martin Luther King Jnr ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All You Need is Love THE "I DON'T KNOW HOW" EXCUSE Clearly it's more of a challenge to know how to "do marriage" if you don't grow up in a married household. BUT we in the marriage education movement need to be sure we do not promote and endorse and give credibility to this excuse. We need to call men to step up and declare that they are going to learn how to do marriage and become models for their sons and break this devastating cycle. That they are going to from this day forward create a new legacy. Instead of "I don't know how" say "I'm going to learn how." Diane Sollee - Smart Marriages http://www.smartmarriages.com [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smartmarriages.com%2F&id=preview] Diddy: 'I don't know how marriage works' 03/04/2008 breakingnews.iol.ie Sean 'Diddy' Combs can never see himself settling down - because he lacked good married role models when he was young. The Bad Boy Records boss has dated a string of beauties throughout his meteoric career - including Jennifer Lopez and model/actress Kim Porter, and had rumoured flings with Sienna Miller and Cameron Diaz. But the father of six doesn't understand the ethics of married life and blames his single-parent upbringing with mum Janice, who was left to raise two kids after Combs' father Melvin was shot dead in New York. He says: "I don't know how marriage works. If you're raised by a married couple, you see how they interact; their good days, their bad days, how they work through things - you see the love. "I wasn't brought up like that and I still don't know to do it. I never saw (my parents') relationship up-close, so every time I've been in a relationship I haven't known what to do and that's really scared me." The hip-hop star broke off his relationship with Porter just months after she gave birth to their twin daughters Jessie James and D'Lila Star in December 2006. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dads Some time ago I sent this to a friend whom I thought I had lost, after re reading it I thought I should just change the name and address the same letter to another friend whom I also thought I had lost.....God. The path I've chosen has its share of obstacles...a broken dream, a wounded heart, a tired spirit............. Dear GOD I don't hear from you much these days and I guess your work takes priority and so it should, however, I can't help thinking that I have contributed to the loss of connection, hence my email today. A lot has happened over the past 12 months in my life. Some things I welcomed and many I did not. The changes occurring within dads in distress (dids) as an organisation have been for me, hard to accept. I guess I am still just a battle wearied veteran. I guess I often imagined some changes or suggestions as threats. Not to me personally, but as a change of direction of the organisation I founded. I was concerned we would be taken down a path that was not intended initially. Rightly or wrongly that was how I perceived it, as a threat. So I guess I immediately went into battle mode. I put up the armour, fortified my bunker and stood fast. Recently my life has changed dramatically not just in my capacity at 'dids' but personally. After eight long lonely years, I married in Fiji on the 3rd March to a lovely Indian Fijian girl and that process on top of the challenges of the organisation has made me take a long hard look at my life. As I have said before, that looking at that reflection of yourself in the mirror often takes some doing. My wife is still in Fiji with our two children (they are hers but are now ours) as we have been refused our first visa application. I guess you can understand those feelings that those circumstance brings up. I am in that fight up to my neck and won't give up. The feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, anger, doubt, lack of trust, have all pervaded my daily thoughts of late. The changes for 'dids' as an organisation I founded are inevitable and I hope and pray I can be granted the wisdom and the courage to go with them and play a small part in that evolution. On top of these things my son Beau and I have recently been filmed and interviewed for a reality series called 'The Lost Boys Project'. That in itself was an extremely emotional experience and we await the results of that process while at the same time experiencing the depth of our own admissions. I am told we are strong contenders. My book which is nearly completed and has also taken me on an emotional rollercoaster ride and has evolved in something that I had initially not intended, however grateful of the experience. I wish to acknowledge your encouragement when I submitted a very raw first draft of what I thought it might look like. My intention and goal is to have it ready to submit to a publisher no later then July 1. I need to put those dates down even though I have put them down before and failed. I now have a reason and that is to maximise the impact and have it printed prior to the airing of 'The Lost Boys Project', which I believe is going to have a massive impact on the Fatherhood Movement as a whole. And more to the point reunite my son with me. It was your encouragement in those early days that have kept me at it and I cannot really say enough about how much I appreciate that. So I guess what I am saying GOD is that I miss you. I miss your friendship which I feel I may have damaged. I miss your input although I know you are still there. And I want to apologise for any past actions that may have hurt you. Leadership is a skill that hasn't come easy for me, but one no less I am trying to attain. When you start something on your own and consider you are out there all alone, it is not easy to adopt and trust others that may come along later to give you a hand. Every bloke that walks into our doors has had his trust issues blown out the window prior to, simply by the fact that he is now a dad in distress. I am no less. It's an issue that I still struggle with on a daily basis. One day if you are with me, I will get there once again. Regards your friend. Tony Miller Director/Founder Dads In Distress Inc. PO Box J395 Coffs Harbour Jetty NSW 2450 Ph: 1300 853 437 www.dadsindistress.asn.au [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dadsindistress.asn.au%2F&id=preview] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Special Feature NEXT 'SURVIVOR' SERIES Six men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons. Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas. Each man must adorn himself with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, stay thin & fit, have perfect hair, keep their fingernails & toenails polished and maintain removal of unwanted hair. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing. During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr-old boy finds it in the purse. They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes. A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labour, each child's favourite colour, middle name, favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up. They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better. They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, 'You're not the boss of me'. The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice. With compliments Rob Feeney robfeeney@gracepoint.com.au [mailto:robfeeney@gracepoint.com.au] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ News & Info NEWS LINKS FOR PARENTS PAID PARENTAL LEAVE PROPOSAL [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.news.com.au%2Fstory%2F0%2C23599%2C23650623-2%2C00.html&id=preview] $30,000 spent to decide Child's Birthday venue [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.news.com.au%2Fstory%2F0%2C23599%2C23658275-2%2C00.html&id=preview] Breast Fed Kids Smarter [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.news.com.au%2Fstory%2F0%2C23599%2C23652762-23109%2C00.html&id=preview] Women must work longer hours [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.news.com.au%2Fstory%2F0%2C23599%2C23660279-29277%2C00.html&id=preview] Work,don't whinge ladies [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fblogs.news.com.au%2Fheraldsun%2Fandrewbolt%2Findex.php%2Fheraldsun%2Fcomments%2Fcolumn_work_dont_whinge_ladies&id=preview] ___________________________________________________________________ Children 'safer with biological parent' Andrew Trounson May 07, 2008 CHILDREN with a step-parent or no biological parent are significantly more at risk than those with a single parent or both biological parents. An Australian study of more than 900 coronial inquiries into child deaths from violence or accident appears to bear out theories of the so-called Cinderella effect. Psychologist and researcher at Melbourne's Deakin University Greg Tooley said that despite sensitivities over the issue, the findings should not be ignored and child-welfare agencies needed to take it into account when assessing at-risk cases. "It would be very good, I think, if an awareness of this were to lead to better targeted interventions," Dr Tooley told The Australian. It was possible that sensitivities over targeting children with step-parents might be getting in the way of agencies identifying it as a risk factor, he said. "It is certainly difficult to talk about because it is such a hot issue," he said. Dr Tooley's study found that children with a step-parent were at least 17 times more likely to die from intentional violence or accident. A limited version of the study found that the rate could be as high as 77 times. It found the risk was higher if there were no biological parents, such children being at least 22 times more prone. Most at risk were children under five. Overall, Dr Tooley found that children with a single biological mother were no more at risk than children with both biological parents. But he did find that children of single mothers were three times more at risk of drowning. Dr Tooley said the findings appeared to back up theories that parents were biologically driven to be extremely protective of their offspring, less so than step-parents. The theory has widespread parlance in folklore and fairytales, such as that of Cinderella, who is banished to cleaning duties by her jealous step-mother and sisters. Dr Tooley stressed that the findings were not about attacking step-parents, but simply identifying risk factors. "We have to look at the flipside, which is all the good that step-parents do," he said. But he added: "I'd be disturbed if we didn't use the information. The vast majority of step-parents are outstanding, but they aren't as equipped with the same protective drive as a biological parent." He speculates that this probably becomes more of a factor in child welfare when families are under stress. "I feel these factors are happening at the real edge when families are under a lot of pressure," he said. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Going to be a father for the first time? Scared? Clueless? Not sure what to expect? Check out the new, research-based, father-focused LEARNER DAD workshops. Designed and developed by qualified male counsellor and father, Peter Denman. LEARNER DAD workshops provide first time dads with practical information, advice and support in the most comfortable, non-judgemental, dad-friendly environment - the pub! www.learnerdad.com.au [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.learnerdad.com.au%2F&id=preview] * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Martian/Vesuvian Brain Scans Men are from Mars That saying 'Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus' might actually be true -- at least when it comes to stress. Scientists say the brains of stressed-out men and women react differently, and may result in unique responses. WATCH VIDEO: http://tinyurl.com/3j25qp [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Ftinyurl.com%2F3j25qp&id=preview] * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation Thank you for putting our flyer in your newsletter. I enjoyed looking at your website. Our website, although accessible, is still in the construction phase (as is our group). Cheers Dr JOHN MURPHY Tel.: 03 5988 4309 Fax: 03 5988 4089 43 Fairbairn Avenue Mt Martha, Victoria 3934 Australia www.menswellbeingmatters.com.au [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.menswellbeingmatters.com.au%2F&id=preview] * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation This is an article of a broken father that is planning to neglect his daughter. Andrew McGowan described how his child is being abused and mistreated by her mother and decided to give up doing anything about that. This "suicidal articles", if published, should be put in the chapter of, "Another father broken by the system", or "another child separated from her father". I find publishing the article under this title highly wrong. Gerardo * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Having attended and thoroughly enjoyed the Enlighten Programme Parents Seminar [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.enlighteneducation.com%2F&id=preview] at St Brigid's College on 6/03/08 as a parent of a year 8 student enrolled at SBC, I would firstly like to take this opportunity in thanking your company for the positive work that you doing with our girls. Upon reflection of what you said on the evening and talking further about the programme to my daughter, her best friend and other parents I felt compelled as a concerned father to write to you with some further feedback that I am hoping may give you an additional insight coming from a males prospective: * I feel that as fathers and/or male role models we need to stand up, as you have done ! and take responsibly for at times not giving our children the love, focus and guidance that they so richly deserve and at times don't get as a consequence of our preoccupation on our own work and social life. * As with our current education system with regards specifically to ratios of female to male teachers there is more importantly an imbalance of influence and guidance that fathers are having these day's with bringing up not only our girl's but also our boy's due predominantly to work commitments, social life and to single mother and step father households. * I refer you to the Fatherhood Foundation www.fathersonline.org [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fathersonline.org%2F&id=preview] an organisation that I have only recently been made aware of that by all accounts seems to be doing a great job in "encouraging more committed, involved, responsible and loving fathers who are connected to their children in a positive way". Once again thanks for guiding, encouraging and challenging our girls to move beyond Bratz, Britney and Bacardi Breezers and I wish you continued success as our family's and children's future happiness depends on people and organisation's like yours ! Yours sincerely, MURRAY MAZZEGA Perth, WA * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * A Petition for Reform of the Australian Family Court [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fhealth.groups.yahoo.com%2Fgroup%2Fdadsontheair%2Fmessage%2F37&id=preview] In reply Dear Mr. Midgley, Thank you for your letter of 27 March 2008 to the Governor-General concerning your petition for reform of the Australian Family Court. I am sorry to disappoint you, but I can only reiterate previous advice provided by this office on 28 February 2008, that it is not possible for the Governor-General to become involved in issues such as this. May I suggest if you wish to pursue this matter further, that you approach the Hon. Robert McClelland MP, Attorney-General, at PO Box 6022, House of Representatives, Parliament House, Canberra, Act, 2600. Thank you once again for writing to the Governor-General. Yours sincerely Brien Hallett Acting Official Secretary to the Governor-General Government House Canberra 24 April 2008 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dad's Prayer Dear God Martin Luther was right to ask that question: 'What are you doing for others?' How can I answer it (as Tony Miller says) except with your help? Ultimately we must each accept responsibility for our own action or inaction. We can't make our children fatherless just because we didn't have the right example. We can't follow 'Diddy' Combs example, famous rapper, when he said, "I don't know how". We must become the change we seek. More than anything else this world needs fathers who care. Help! Help us answer the question by living beyond ourselves. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=di58qncab.0.0.horjkicab.0&ts=S0343&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ourcommunity.com.au%2Ffatherhoodfoundation&id=preview] BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Forward email http://ui.constantcontact.com/sa/fwtf.jsp?m=1101938345415&ea=libertybm@bigpond.com&a=1102086713376&id=preview This email was sent to libertybm@bigpond.com, by info@fathersonline.org Update Profile/Email Address http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=oo&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3WE9Zqa8OESM9MqR7kykWzczy45USVqnoA07d6UNL9x0-QWKfzf85Tg9h2YYSzFYEZIswXJAKsnf2ivVmUPPTm5Qtm7-Z-5-T26gw_0_Eqwe&id=preview.1101938345415 Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(TM) http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3WE9Zqa8OESM9MqR7kykWzczy45USVqnoA07d6UNL9x0-QWKfzf85Tg9h2YYSzFYEZIswXJAKsnf2ivVmUPPTm5Qtm7-Z-5-T26gw_0_Eqwe&id=preview.1101938345415 Privacy Policy: http://ui.constantcontact.com/roving/CCPrivacyPolicy.jsp Email Marketing by Constant Contact(R) www.constantcontact.com Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia ------=_Part_36487_1203652542.1211882904723 Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
=09 =09 =09 =09
=09 =09
3D"FF
=09 =09
=09=09 =09 =09=09 =09 =09 =09=09 =09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09
=09=09 =09=09 =09 =09 =09=09 =09 =09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09=09 =09 =09 =09=09 =09 =09=09
12th  May 2008 &n= bsp;        Inspiring = Fathers   Encouraging Families Issue 299
=09=09
Changing the World
One Father at a Time
=09=09
=09
=09=09
Dear Ron,

Welc= ome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information service f= or the fathers and families as we change the world

=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Make a better world for children<= /td> =09=09
Laughter..Truck licence
Grandfathers...What are you doing for others<= /td> =09=09
All You Need is Love..I don't know how
Single Dads...My friend
Special Feature...Survivor
News & Info..Parents in the news
Dad's Prayer..What are you doing for others =09=09
Next Week&nb= sp;
 A Tale of Two Fathers=
=09=09=09=09 =09=09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09=09
Quick Links
=09
=09=09
T= hought of the Week
       

<= img height=3D"225" name=3D"ACCOUNT.IMAGE.212" border=3D"0" width=3D"300" co= ntenteditable=3D"false" alt=3D"Small group" src=3D"http://ih.constantcontac= t.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/212.jpg?a=3D1102113011971" />
 

  =

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtf= ul,

committed people can change the world.

Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

 

Margaret Mead

Frontline
 

3D"DeanThe children had been playing together after schoo= l in the sprawling suburb of Ambarvale in south western Sydney. It was Wedn= esday 17th October 2007. The children had noticed a tartan suitc= ase floating in the pond, partly submerged. Being curious, they waited for = it to float closer to shore. When they opened the suitcase they were horrif= ied at what they saw. There was the partly decomposed body of a naked littl= e boy wrapped in plastic. The police were called and the investigations beg= un.

 

The next day Ann Coffey visited the = local police station to check on her missing grandson. She even saw them br= ing in the tartan suitcase. A police officer drove Ann Coffey around to Pin= darus Way, Rosemeadow, the home occupied by Rachel Pfitzner and her boyfrie= nd of more than a year, to make enquiries about her young grandson. The ter= rible truth emerged that Ann's two year old grandson Dean Shillingsworth, t= he boy with the cheeky smile, was the child in the suitcase. His mother Rac= hel was arrested and charged with his murder. Sadly little Dean's father wa= s in Junee gaol unable to do anything to help. I talked with a prison chapl= ain, who said that Dean's father, Paul, was also a fatherless child.3D"Fath=

 

Sadly, the cycle of fatherlessness h= ad been repeated and the results were devastating for little Dean.

 

This week Dr Greg Tooley from Melbou= rne's Deakin University released a damning study of the impact of fatherles= sness on our children. See the full story on his study in News & Info.

 

Psychologist Dr Tooley studied 900 c= oronial inquiries into child deaths from violence or accident which appear = to bear out theories of the so-called Cinderella effect. He found that chil= dren with a stepparent were at least 17 times more likely to die from inten= tional violence or accident. I read that another version of the same study = found that the death for children outside the natural parent/family pattern= was 77 times. So I rang Dr Tooley. He confirmed that the 77 times mortalit= y figure was in fact the true statistic. He pointed out to me that research= ers Daly & Wilson in Canada had shown children to be up to 100 times more a= t risk of death outside the natural biological family unit. Independent stu= dies in the UK, USA, Korea, Sweden and New Zealand bear out the unfortunate= reality of these results.

 

There are a million children today in Australia who live apart from there natural father<= font face=3D"Verdana">. In many other homes Dad is physically pr= esent but emotionally absent and= uninvolved. Fatherlessness is s= till the net result.Unless we can quickly awaken our s= ociety to the important role that fathers play in nurturing and protecting = our children and the damage caused to our children by fatherlessness many m= ore young children like Dean Shillingsworth will die needlessly.

 

The aim of the Fatherhood Foundation= , as a Harm Prevention Charity, is to help stop child abuse. How can we do = this? Simply by changing, one father at a time. The safest place for a chil= d to grow up is with a loving mother and father in the natural family. Ever= y time you read this newsletter you are participating in that process of ch= ange. Every time you send this newsletter on to a fellow father you are ass= isting in that change. Every time you do= nate to the Fatherhood Foundation you help get the message of ex= cellence in fathering to more dads.

 

Firstly, we have to value both mothe= rhood and fatherhood equally.

 

Secondly, we must realize that gende= r does matter and as mothers and fathers we each have unique but compliment= ary parenting roles.

 

Thirdly, we must promote excellence = in fathering as the norm and not the unusual.

 

Most fathers want to be good dads, t= hey just need a little help and encouragement. Social change does not come = from the many, but the few. As Margaret Mead said, "Never doubt that a smal= l group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is= the only thing that ever has."

 

In 1949 China became a communist nat= ion because of 1% of committed people. However that process started with 12= men in Shanghai in 1921. Out of small things big things grow.

 

The same concept can also reflect in= positive ways. Take for instance William Wilberforce's battle to end the s= lave trade. His battle began with a very small group of people willing to p= roclaim the truth. Will you help us in the battle for our children?<= /span>

 

= Lovework

 

We don't often ask for help but Dr T= ooley's statistics have inspired me to be bolder. You see it's not actually= about us as dads, it's about our children. Together, we, a small group of = caring dads, can make a difference.

 

Please consider spreading the word a= bout the Fatherhood Foundation's harm prevention strategies to help stop ch= ild abuse.

 

Maybe you would like to make a tax deductible donation

 

Let's work together for the children= of Australia and the children of the world.

 

Yours for changing the world, one fa= ther at a time.

Warwick Marsh

 

PS. Today marks a new chapter for th= e Fatherhood Foundation. This Mother's Day is a milestone we will ne= ver forget.

 

We are more committed than ever to s= aving our children from fatherlessness. We pledge to boldly ask for your as= sistance to partner with us and help change the world, one father at a time= . Ways that you can help us are found at our website.

 

Together we can make Australia= and the world a better place for our children!    &n= bsp;            = ;                  <= /span>      =       = ;                 

 
______________________________________________________________________= ________
Warwick Marsh  has been= married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfather of two chi= ldren and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age f= rom 27 years to 15 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, pro= ducer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.<= /font>
=09=09
Laughter
=    I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline
 
 
    = ;           3D"Garfield"
Got a call centre in Pakist= an
I told them I was suicidal.=
They got all excited and as= ked if=20
I could drive a truck!!
 
3D"Mothers
 
   
 
3D"Mothers
Grandfathers
 
         = ;       3D"Hands

Life's most urgent question is:=

What are you doing for others?<= /font>

 = ;

Martin Luther K= ing Jnr

    =  
All You Nee= d is Love
 

THE "I DON'T KNOW HOW" = EXCUSE3D"Marriage=

 

Clearly it's more of a challenge to know = how to "do marriage" if you don't grow up in a married household.  BUT we in the marriage education move= ment need to be sure we do not promote and endorse and give credibility to = this excuse.  We need to call= men to step up and declare that they are going to learn how to do marriage= and become models for their sons and break this devastating cycle. That th= ey are going to from this day forward create a new legacy. Instead of "I do= n't know how" say "I'm going to learn how."

Diane = Sollee - Smart Marriages http://www.smartmarriages.com 

 

Diddy: 'I don't know how marriage works'<= /span>

03/04/= 2008

breaki= ngnews.iol.ie

 

Sean '= Diddy' Combs can never see himself settling down - because he lacked good m= arried role models when he was young.

 

The Ba= d Boy Records boss has dated a string of beauties throughout his meteoric c= areer - including Jennifer Lopez and model/actress Kim Porter, and had rumo= ured flings with Sienna Miller and Cameron Diaz.

 

But th= e father of six doesn't understand the ethics of married life and blames hi= s single-parent upbringing with mum Janice, who was left to raise two kids = after Combs' father Melvin was shot dead in New York.

 

He say= s: "I don't know how marriage works. If you're raised by a married couple, = you see how they interact; their good days, their bad days, how they work t= hrough things - you see the love.

 

"I was= n't brought up like that and I still don't know to do it. I never saw (my p= arents') relationship up-close, so every time I've been in a relationship I= haven't known what to do and that's really scared me."

 

The hip-hop star broke off his relati= onship with Porter just months after she gave birth to their twin daughters= Jessie James and D'Lila Star in December 2006.

=09=09 =09=09
Single Dads
=
 

Some time= ago I sent this to a friend whom I thought I had lost, after re readi= ng it I thought I should just change the name and address the same letter t= o another friend whom I also thought I had lost.....God.<= /p>

 

3D"Man<= /span>

The path I'v= e chosen has its share of obstacles...a broken dream, a wounded heart, a ti= red spirit.............

 

Dear GOD

  =             &nb= sp;  

I don't hear= from you much these days and I guess your work takes priority and so it sh= ould, however, I can't help thinking that I have contributed to the loss of= connection, hence my email today.

  =             &nb= sp;  

A lot has ha= ppened over the past 12 months in my life. Some things I welcomed and many = I did not. The changes occurring within dads in distress (dids) as an organ= isation have been for me, hard to accept. I guess I am still just a battle = wearied veteran. I guess I often imagined some changes or suggestions as th= reats. Not to me personally, but as a change of direction of the organisati= on I founded. I was concerned we would be taken down a path that was not in= tended initially. Rightly or wrongly that was how I perceived it, as a thre= at. So I guess I immediately went into battle mode. I put up the armour, fo= rtified my bunker and stood fast.

  =             

Recently my = life has changed dramatically not just in my capacity at 'dids' but persona= lly. After eight long lonely years, I married in Fiji on the 3rd March to a= lovely Indian Fijian girl and that process on top of the challenges of the= organisation has made me take a long hard look at my life. As I have = said before, that looking at that reflection of yourself in the mirror= often takes some doing. My wife is still in Fiji with our two children (th= ey are hers but are now ours) as we have been refused our first visa applic= ation. I guess you can understand those feelings that those circumstance br= ings up. I am in that fight up to my neck and won't give up. The feeli= ngs of hopelessness, loneliness, anger, doubt, lack of trust, have all perv= aded my daily thoughts of late.

  =             &nb= sp;

The changes = for 'dids' as an organisation I founded are inevitable and I hope and pray = I can be granted the wisdom and the courage to go with them and play a smal= l part in that evolution. On top of these things my son Beau and I have rec= ently been filmed and interviewed for a reality series called 'Th= e Lost Boys Project'. That in itself was an extremely emotional experience = and we await the results of that process while at the same time experiencin= g the depth of our own admissions. I am told we are strong contenders.

  =             

My book whic= h is nearly completed and has also taken me on an emotional rollercoaster r= ide and has evolved in something that I had initially not intended, however= grateful of the experience. I wish to acknowledge your encouragement when = I submitted a very raw first draft of what I thought it might look like. My= intention and goal is to have it ready to submit to a publisher no later t= hen July 1. I need to put those dates down even though I have put them down= before and failed. I now have a reason and that is to maximise the impact = and have it printed prior to the airing of 'The Lost Boys Project', which I= believe is going to have a massive impact on the Fatherhood Movement as a = whole. And more to the point reunite my son with me. It was your encouragem= ent in those early days that have kept me at it and I cannot really say eno= ugh about how much I appreciate that.

  =             <= /span>

So I guess w= hat I am saying GOD is that I miss you. I miss your friendship which I= feel I may have damaged. I miss your input although I know you are still t= here. And I want to apologise for any past actions that may have hurt you. = Leadership is a skill that hasn't come easy for me, but one no less I am tr= ying to attain. When you start something on your own and consider you are&n= bsp;out there all alone, it is not easy to adopt and trust others that may = come along later to give you a hand. Every bloke that walks into our doors = has had his trust issues blown out the window prior to, simply by the = fact that he is now a dad in distress. I am no less. It's an issue that I s= till struggle with on a daily basis. One day if you are with me,&= nbsp;I will get there once again.

 

Regards your= friend.

Tony Miller<= br />Director/Founder

 

Dads In Dist= ress Inc.
PO Box J395
Coffs Harbour Jetty
NSW 2450

 

Ph: 1300 853= 437
www= .dadsindistress.asn.au

 

 

Special Feature
 
  

= NEXT 'SURVIVOR' SERIES3D"Footprints"
 =
 Six men will be= dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
 
Each kid will play two spo= rts and either take music or dance classes.
 
There is no fast food.

Each man must = take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homewor= k, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend'= bills with not enough money.
 =
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceri= es each week.
 
Eac= h man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and s= end cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a d= octor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He mu= st make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care= (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for v= acation).
 
He must= also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for dec= orating his own assigned house planting flowers outside and keeping it pres= entable at all times.
  =
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep = and all chores are done.
 
Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stup= id song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoo= ns.
 
Each man will= have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks and one marker; and g= et a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.
 
Each man must adorn himself with jewellery, wear u= ncomfortable yet stylish shoes, stay thin & fit, have perfect hair, keep th= eir fingernails & toenails polished and maintain removal of unwanted hair.<= br /> 
The men must try = to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing. 
During one of the s= ix weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, = and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow d= own from other duties.
 =
They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr-old boy f= inds it in the purse.
 <= br />They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at leas= t once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
 
He will need to read a book = to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dres= s them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They mu= st leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.
 
A test will be given at the end o= f the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the follow= ing information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes = size and doctor's name.

Also the child's weight at birth, length= , time of birth, and length of labour, each child's favourite colour, middl= e name, favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, bi= ggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
 
They must clean up after their sick c= hildren at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to tha= t child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.
 
They must have a loving, ag= e appropriate reply to, 'You're not the boss of me'.
 
The kids vote them off the island based= on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to = be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

 

With compliments

Rob Feeney

robfeeney@gracepoint.com.au

   News & Info
 
 
NEWS LINKS FOR PARENTS3D"Fa=
 
 
 
 
Breast Fed Kids Smarter
 
 

____________________________________________= _______________________

Children 'safer with biological parent'

Andrew Trounson  May 07,= 2008

CHILDREN with a step-parent or no biologic= al parent are significantly more at risk than those with a single parent or= both biological parents.

An Australian stud= y of more than 900 coronial inquiries into child deaths from violence or ac= cident appears to bear out theories of the so-called Cinderella effect.

Psychologist and r= esearcher at Melbourne's Deakin University Greg Tooley said that despite se= nsitivities over the issue, the findings should not be ignored and child-we= lfare agencies needed to take it into account when assessing at-risk cases.=

"It would be very = good, I think, if an awareness of this were to lead to better targeted inte= rventions," Dr Tooley told The Aus= tralian.

It was possible th= at sensitivities over targeting children with step-parents might be getting= in the way of agencies identifying it as a risk factor, he said.

"It is certainly d= ifficult to talk about because it is such a hot issue," he said.

Dr Tooley's study = found that children with a step-parent were at least 17 times more likely t= o die from intentional violence or accident. A limited version of the study= found that the rate could be as high as 77 times.

It found the risk = was higher if there were no biological parents, such children being at leas= t 22 times more prone. Most at risk were children under five.

Overall, Dr Tooley= found that children with a single biological mother were no more at risk t= han children with both biological parents.

But he did find th= at children of single mothers were three times more at risk of drowning.

Dr Tooley said the= findings appeared to back up theories that parents were biologically drive= n to be extremely protective of their offspring, less so than step-parents.=

The theory has wid= espread parlance in folklore and fairytales, such as that of Cinderella, wh= o is banished to cleaning duties by her jealous step-mother and sisters.

Dr Tooley stressed= that the findings were not about attacking step-parents, but simply identi= fying risk factors.

"We have to look a= t the flipside, which is all the good that step-parents do," he said.

But he added: "I'd= be disturbed if we didn't use the information. The vast majority of step-p= arents are outstanding, but they aren't as equipped with the same protectiv= e drive as a biological parent."

He speculates that= this probably becomes more of a factor in child welfare when families are = under stress. "I feel these factors are happening at the real edge when fam= ilies are under a lot of pressure," he said.

= * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

= Going to be a father for the first time?

Scared?  Clueless?  Not sure what to expe= ct?

Check out the new, research-based, father-focused LEARNER= DAD workshops.

Designed and developed by qualified male co= unsellor and father, Peter Denman.

LEARNER DAD workshops provide first = time dads with practical information, advice and support in the most comfor= table, non-judgemental, dad-friendly environment - the pub!

ww= w.learnerdad.com.au

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *=

Martian/Vesuvian Brain Scans

 

Men ar= e from Mars

That s= aying 'Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus' might actually be true

-- at least when it comes to stress. = Scientists say the brains of stressed-out men and women react differently, = and may result in unique responses. = WATCH VIDEO: http://tinyurl.com/3j25qp<= /span>

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *=

 

= Letters=

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Thank you for putting our flyer in y= our newsletter.

I enjoyed looking at your website.

Our website, although accessible, is= still in the construction phase (as is our group).

Cheers

 

Dr JOHN MURPHY

Tel.: 03 5988 4309  Fax: 03 598= 8 4089

43 Fairbairn Avenue&nbs= p;Mt Martha, Victoria  3934 Australia

 www.menswellbeingmatter= s.com.au

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * = *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

This is an article of a broken fathe= r that is planning to neglect his daughter.

Andrew McGowan described how his chi= ld is being abused and mistreated by her mother and decided to give up doin= g anything about that.

This "suicidal articles", if publish= ed, should be put in the chapter of, "Another father broken by the system",= or "another child separated from her father".

 

I find publishing the article under = this title highly wrong.

 

Gerardo

 

* * * * * * * * *= * * * * * * * * *

Having attended and thoroughly enjoyed the Enlighten Programme = Parents Seminar at St Brigid's College on 6/03/08 as a parent of a year= 8 student enrolled at SBC, I would firstly like to take this opportunity i= n thanking your company for the positive work that you doing with our girls= .

Upon reflection of what you said on the evening and talking furthe= r about the programme to my daughter, her best friend and other parents I f= elt compelled as a concerned father to write to you with some further feedb= ack that I am hoping may give you an additional insight coming from a males= prospective:  

*        = I feel that as fathers and/or male role models we need to stand up, a= s you have done ! and take responsibly for at times not giving our children= the love, focus and guidance that they so richly deserve and at times don'= t get as a consequence of our preoccupation on our own work and social life= .

*         <= /span>As with our current education system with regards specifically = to ratios of female to male teachers there is more importantly an imbalance= of influence and guidance that fathers are having these day's with bringin= g up not only our girl's but also our boy's due predominantly to work commi= tments, social life and to single mother and step father households.=

*        = I refer you to the Fatherhood Foundation www.fathersonline.org<= /span> an organisation that I have only recently been made aware of tha= t by all accounts seems to be doing a great job in "encouraging more commit= ted, involved, responsible and loving fathers who are connected to their ch= ildren in a positive way".

Once again thanks for guiding, encouraging and challenging o= ur girls to move beyond Bratz, Britney and Bacardi Breezers and I wish you = continued success as our family's and children's future happiness depends o= n people and organisation's like yours !

Yours sincerely,

MURRAY MAZZEGA

Perth, WA

 

* * * * * * * * *= * * * * * * * * *

A Petition for Reform = of the Australian Family Court

 

In reply

Dear Mr. Midgley,=
 
Thank you for your letter of 27 March 2008 to the Governo= r-General concerning your petition for reform of the Australian Family Cour= t.


 
I am sorry to disappoint you, but I can only reiterate previous advice pro= vided by this office on 28 February 2008, that it is not possible for the G= overnor-General to become involved in issues such as this. May I suggest if= you wish to pursue this matter further, that you approach the Hon. Robert = McClelland MP, Attorney-General, at PO Box 6022, House of Representatives, = Parliament House, Canberra, Act, 2600.
 
Thank you once agai= n for writing to the Governor-General.
 
Yours sincerely
 Brien Hallett
Acting Official Secretary to the Governor-Genera= l

Government House<= /span>

Canberra

24 April 2008

 

 

 

<= /td>

Dad's Prayer

     &= nbsp;           3D"Martin=         = ;           

 

Dear God

 

Martin Luther was right to ask that= question:

'What are you doing for others?'

How can I answer it (as Tony Miller= says)

except with your help?

Ultimately we must each accept resp= onsibility

for our own action or inaction.

We can't make our children fatherle= ss

just because we didn't have the rig= ht example.

We can't follow 'Diddy' Combs examp= le, famous rapper,

when he said, "I don't know how".

We must become the change we seek.<= /font>

More than anything else this world =

needs fathers who care.

Help!

Help us answer the question by livi= ng beyond ourselves.

=09 =09
=09=09 =09=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be = emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)

 


Westpac Branch Wollon= gong            = ;         DONATE ONLINE


BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW&nb= sp; 2520
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

=09=09 =09=09
=09 =09
=09 =09
3D"Safe
This email was sent to libertybm@bigpond.com, by info@fathersonline.org
 =
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
------=_Part_36487_1203652542.1211882904723--