Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.31]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:52:35 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1K6PoZ-0006cJ-J0 for blane@uow.edu.au; Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:52:35 +1000 Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [202.77.90.3]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id LHY17167; Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:52:32 +1000 (EST) Received: from COMP1 (cpe-192-219-67-118.ade.interconnect.net.au [118.67.219.192]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 7E67FDEBFB for ; Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:34:59 +1000 (EST) From: "Fatherhood Foundation" To: "Lane, Brian" Subject: 9/06/2008 What Do Your Kids Think? Date: Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:34:53 +1000 Message-ID: <000601c8cbbf$8e7b0c80$6401a8c0@COMP1> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0007_01C8CC13.60298D80" X-Mailer: Microsoft Office Outlook 11 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.3198 Thread-Index: AcjI5sE7RBgGZ9rHQruMSevXQ4q1GgC2KoGQ X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A01020A.484FCA92.012D,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=202.77.90.3, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 Return-Path: info@fathersonline.org X-OriginalArrivalTime: 11 Jun 2008 12:52:35.0185 (UTC) FILETIME=[053A2610:01C8CBC2] This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0007_01C8CC13.60298D80 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 FF Header Logo =20 9th June 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 303 =20 =20 What Do Your Kids Think?=20 =20 Dear Friend,=20 Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information service for the fathers and families as we what our kids think. =20 In This Issue Frontline...What do your children think...Competing against the modern = media onslaught Laughter..What Kids Think Grandfathers...Raising Boys All You Need is Love..Divorce Shockwaves Single Dads...End Domestic Violence Sexism Special Feature...The Cost of Fatherlessness News & Info..Report on Anti Male Legislation Dad's Prayer..My children want me =20 Next Week =20 Stay Healthy - Live Longer=20 Mens' Health Week Special=20 =20 =20 =20 Join = our Mailing List!=20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation =20 =20 Dads in Distress =20 =20 Focus on the Family =20 National Centre for Fathering =20 =20 Families for Life =20 =20 =20 Pathways Foundation =20 =20 =20 Marriage and Family - ACL =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Dads on the Air =20 =20 Equal Parenting Party =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 CSA Adverts =20 =20 Thought of the Week =20 Family Dinner =20 The family that eats together stays together. =20 Anon =20 =20 Frontline =20 Dad Power =20 As fathers we often feel that we are competing with a 'modern media onslaught' against our family and children, and coming last in the popularity stakes.=20 =20 Nothing could be further from the truth! Studies in both Australia and America show that young people increasingly value family relationships. = The National Survey of Young Australians conducted by Mission Australia, = which has been conducted annually since 2002, surveys the opinions of 11-24 = year olds. =20 What do young people value the most? =20 =20 76% of those surveyed said, 'Family Relationships'. This shows an approximate 10% increase on the same question a few years ago. =20 Young people value family relationships more highly than anything else. Friends other than family come in second at 60.3% and that figure is = going down. Physical and Mental Health, Being Independent, Feeling Needed and Valued, come in at 33.1%, 32.9% and 25.6% respectively. Many mums and = dads will be surprised to know they rate that high in their child's life, =20 Girls rate family relationships slightly higher than boys, but that is hardly surprising. Women, in general, seem to be more relationship orientated than men. This is something we men ignore at our peril. Our daughters and our wives are looking for a meaningful relationship with = us and it is our duty to fulfil their needs in this area. =20 In a US 'State of our Nation's Youth 2005/06 Survey' half the young = people (47%) said that if forced to choose a role model they would choose a = family i.e. parent role model. This is 300% more popular than its nearest competitor in the survey. In that same study when asked the open-ended question, "If you could, who would you spend more time with?" = Overwhelmingly the answer was family, followed closely by friends. If you had asked = most of the parents in Australia who would they expect their child/teenager to = want to spend time with, they would probably say their friends, not family, = and so would I. We would all be wrong.=20 =20 It is also interesting to note in the Mission Australia survey that = among issues that concern our children and teenagers the most, is family = conflict 29.3%, which is a very close second to body image, sitting at 32.3%. =20 What do all of these statistics mean to you as a father? =20 The most important thing to realize is that you, as a parent, are the = most important person in your child's life.=20 =20 Secondly, you are your child's No 1 role model (according to your = child).=20 =20 Thirdly our children actually WANT to spend more time with us but it = would seem that we do not respond to this request as much as we should.=20 =20 Fourthly the thing our children dislike most about family is not family = but 'conflict' within the family. =20 My favourite night of the week is Monday night, our Family Dinner Night. = We all talk, laugh, pray, have fun and eat together. I get a chance to hold = my two gorgeous granddaughters (almost 5 months old now) as does my wife = and their other uncles and aunties. We get a chance to hang our with all of = our 5 children, aged from 27 years to 15 years, their spouses and = fianc=E9es, and they with us. None of us miss out on Family Dinner Night except in emergencies. We all actually love to be with each other. The family that eats together stays together, and for our family that includes praying together. =20 If your home is filled with love your children will love to be with you! = As John Bowring says, 'A happy family is an early heaven.' =20 Lovework =20 Start a weekly Family Dinner Night if you don't already have the habit. = If your children are young, make it fun. If they are older, just hanging = out and talking takes the cake. Make sure it's a celebration and make sure = you tell them (and show them) every week that they are greatly loved. = Another tip - avoid family conflict. You children will be happier if your do! =20 Remember love is the greatest force in the universe - greater than = gravity. =20 Yours for more family dinners - a happy family is an early heaven. Warwick Marsh =20 PS. This week has been a big week. The Fatherhood Foundation worked = really hard to secure the future of fatherhood in our home state of New South Wales, Australia. The good news is that we partially succeeded. Full = report on the Dads4kids Forum can be found in News & Info. The speech that my = wife and I gave can be found in the Special Feature.=20 =20 Your financial help is greatly appreciated and is Tax Deductible. Beat = the tax man and help our children at the same time.Donate HERE =20 _________________________________________________________________________= ___ __ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfather of two children and father of five children, four boys and = one girl, ranging in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. =20 Laughter =20 WHAT KIDS THINK! Kid Thinking =20 =20 What Exactly Is Marriage? "Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her = back to her parents" -Eric, six years old "When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the = girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we = have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.' = Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether it's = naughty or not. She can't wait to find out." -Anita, nine years old How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry? "You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means = you try the next one." -Kelly, nine years old "My mother says to look for a man who is kind....That's what I'll = do....I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -Carolyn, eight years old Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife" -Bert, = five years old How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet? "They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they went for a = drive, but their car broke down...It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values." -Lottie, nine years old "My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won't tell = me what kind." -Jeremy, eight years old What Do Most People Do on a Date? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually = gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -Martin, ten years old "Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love." -Craig, nine years old When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a = ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." = -Allan, ten years old "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you....If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it = with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." -Kally, nine years old The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married? "You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan" -Kirsten, ten years = old "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody = to clean up after them" -Anita, nine years old "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I = don't need that kind of trouble." -Will, seven years old =20 =20 Grandfathers =20 My father used to play Raising Boys_1 =20 with my brother and me=20 out on the lawn. Mother would come out and say, "You are tearing up the grass." "We are not raising grass," Dad would reply,"We are raising boys." =20 Harman Killebrew =20 =20 All You Need is Love Shockwaves of Divorce Slam Entire Family=20 By Tracey O'Shaughnessy Sunday, June 1, 2008 Divorce Rings =20 =20 Last night, my brother told his son that he is getting a divorce. It was = the conversation he had dodged and choked on, the inevitability he had hoped = to defer or evade. =20 Whenever he came near the subject, he saw himself 35 years before, = weeping into my mother's chenille robe, begging her to tell him that the rumors = - my father's flight, his irreversible departure - were not true. He saw the hedges going untrimmed, the shingles on the house rotting and then = falling off, the basement ruined by an incontinent dog, the illusion of family = bliss irremediably shattered. =20 And in spite of all these ghosts, my brother had come to the same = conclusion his father had: He could no longer live in the same house with his wife. =20 I wish I could say I was sanguine about this decision, or that I stood resolutely at my brother's side, supporting him in every barbed assault = and eviscerating invective. The truth is, I was shamefully equivocal about = the whole thing. To be a child of divorce is one burden. To watch another = unfold is an acute form of torture, laced with poisonous memories. Misery to an adult is comprehensible, and even soluble. To a child, it is merely = cruel and incomprehensible. =20 Nevertheless, my brother was resolute. As his sister, I am bound by = blood to support him - even if it meant distancing me from a sister-in-law I = loved. =20 Divorce has become so common in American society that it is often viewed = as just another pothole on the highway of contemporary life. So common are = its features - the single-parent household, the divorced-dad condos, the joint-custody juggling act - that divorce has been declawed. The = sidelong glances and collective shunning that my parents endured when they = divorced in the early 1970s has been replaced by a collective shrug. Today, we = have books about "The Starter Marriage," as if the implosion of a first = marriage is inevitable. =20 Statistics bear this out. Nearly 43 percent of marriages in the U.S. end = in divorce, the federal government reports. The first years of a marriage = are particularly vulnerable ones; one in three first marriages end within 10 years and one in five within 5 years. Today, a married couple with = children is the exception rather than the norm. =20 There should be safety in numbers - or at least some semblance of = solace. Divorce shouldn't hurt my brother and sister-in-law as much as it does. = But it is hurting them acutely and perhaps irremediably, largely because = they are both children of divorce and intimately acquainted with its cruelty. =20 When my brother's chocolate brown eyes meet the wounded, familiar eyes = of his 6-year-old son, the anguish is exquisitely familiar. It is, in fact, unbearable. =20 Unlike a marriage, divorce is excruciatingly lonely. Marriage, with its lavish drama and celebratory rituals, is lavish with witnesses and supporters. It's easy to forget that the reason we squeeze into uncomfortable, dazzling clothes and embrace a couple exchanging intimate assertions of fidelity, is to support and sustain their pledge. =20 So, when a couple unravels so fabulously, it is easy for family members = like myself to feel a wee bit guilty. =20 It has not gone unnoticed by my family that my brother and sister-in-law have spent thousands of dollars on professional advice in an attempt to = keep their marriage alive. I often wonder where the rest of us were during = these pricey therapy sessions. Certainly, geography and employment have flung = us into disparate quarters. But I remember my grandmother's quiet assertion that there was nothing that couldn't be solved with a cup of tea, a = kitchen table and a little forbearance. =20 When my grandmother had inevitable travails with her volatile Irish = husband, her sister Ruthie would come "up the house" for a cup of tea and = sympathy. In the end, it was mended. It was not perfect, but it was endurable. = Today, things seem less endurable, perhaps because the choices are too robust, = or perhaps because children of fractious marriages will not tolerate such chronic irascibility in their own lives. =20 Oh, for a few Aunt Ruths, in their polyester pantsuits and sensible = shoes. Heaven knows how many marriages they saved. =20 I, alas, saved none, in spite of my fervid entreaties. Now I am left to figure out how to sustain my beloved and bedraggled brother, my = shattered and confused nephew and a sister-in-law I am supposed to excise from my life. It will be less of a struggle for me, than for him, to be sure. = But a divorce's effect on a family is not limited to the couple whose marriage imploded. It sends shock waves throughout a fragile web, ripples that = are deep and tenacious, and whose end is unknown. =20 Single Dads=20 TIME TO END SEXISM IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE POLICY By Roger Smith Woman Slapping =20 Part 2 =20 =20 Some feminist-orientated academics, faced with the results of population studies, have partially dismissed them by presupposing a somewhat unreal dichotomy between non-gender-based "situational couple violence" to = which they claim the studies relate and gender-based "intimate terrorism". But = the domestic violence service industry, accustomed to policy victories = without the need for rigorous evidence-based research, has mostly just ignored = the findings - perhaps in the hope that they will go away. =20 While there is certainly no harm in making DV services readily available = to women in need, there is considerable harm, as the New Zealand study suggests, in invalidating men's experience of violence and abuse in relationships. The inference in doing so is that intimate partner = violence and abuse by women is acceptable - or even commendable - as a = demonstration of feminine assertiveness in today's society. =20 Saturation public advertising campaigns such as "Violence against Women = - Australia Says 'No'", by deliberately acknowledging only female victims, might be useful in reducing the incidence of male perpetration, but they probably also create more male victims by their implicit message that = women are permitted to do whatever they like to their male partners and = society will always blame the man. =20 In the 1950s, battered wives who presented to doctors for treatment were advised to make their husbands happier so that he would stop the abuse. = In the present day, male victims of domestic violence - whether physical or emotional - can expect to fare no better and in many cases probably = worse. They are often treated with derision or disbelief, or more likely, just ignored. Where men complain of abuse to a counselling industry in = Australia built on Duluth philosophy and principles, they can expect to be told = that "it's just her way of getting her needs met" and are told to look for = ways they can make their wife happier by taking on more household chores. =20 If a male victim, as is unfortunately often the case, responds to longstanding physical and/or mental cruelty by retaliating or just = defending himself, he could expect to face the possibility of losing everything - = his home, his children, his reputation, his job. Domestic violence = campaigners who are supposed to be protecting victims have made sure that any pre-existing abuse (physical or psychological) by the woman will likely = be disregarded. If this is not a power imbalance, then what is? =20 At best, male victims of domestic violence will be advised to leave an abusive relationship, but this is often easier said than done. =20 Given that family court judges often haven't caught up with changes in Australian society and assume that women have a domestic role and men a = role in the paid economy, men until recently have rarely been granted shared custody and are usually encumbered with unequal property settlements = that see them losing the increasingly unaffordable family home.=20 =20 The prospect of being kicked out of a comfortable family home they spent = a lifetime working for to live in cramped rental accommodation and loss of regular contact with their children is enough to lead many men to = despair. It comes as no surprise that they will often fight to save even a = miserable marriage rather than face that prospect. =20 Newly-enacted humane family law and child support schemes that recognize changes to Australian society are a welcome development. =20 But while our Federal laws are finally catching up with the 21st = century, the State and Territory-based laws and the attitudes of the mostly middle-aged women who run domestic violence services in Australia are = still, in many respects, stuck in a 1970s time warp. =20 It is time to remind these mostly fair-minded older sisters in charge of = DV services from which men are excluded of the nondiscriminatory ideals for which they once fought. To acknowledge the importance of = non-discrimination in policy and service provision in no way implies any undermining of = support services for women victims - if that is their concern. On the contrary, = it recognizes the appalling damage that DV can cause to victims of whatever background. =20 In 2008, there are no longer any excuses. It's time for Western = feminists to move into the 21st century and embrace the ideals of equality that they themselves once advocated. Because at the end of the day, we are really = only asking for a simple acknowledgement - 'yes', women do commit domestic violence and 'no' it is not acceptable! =20 Roger Smith Canberra =20 Special Feature The Cost of Fatherlessness Warwick & Alison Marsh Dads4kids Forum Parliament House, Sydney Child =20 3rd June 2008 =20 Thank you for coming to the Dads4kids Forum today at Parliament House.=20 =20 Today you are part of history. You represent the silent majority of = NSW's citizens who still believe in the birds and the bees. It would seem that = Mr Iemma's Government now believes in spontaneous combustion, or maybe it's = a case of bring back the stork. The good news is that you don't believe = such nonsense - that's why you are here. =20 You are here to show the NSW Labor Government that you care for our children. The Miscellaneous Acts Amendment (Same Sex Relationships) Bill 2008, currently before the NSW Parliament, shows that Mr Iemma's = Government does not care for our children. =20 Today you will hear from many leaders within the fatherhood and family movement. Those radical revolutionaries who dare to disagree with the = sacred state doctrine of political correctness. Those radical free-thinkers who dare to question the faceless social engineers who foist their carefully crafted politically correct ideas on an unsuspecting proletariat. The oppressed have become the oppressors. As George Orwell wrote, = "Everybody's equal but some are more equal than others." It would seem that you and I = are becoming less and less equal as each day passes. =20 Children need a mother and a father. To legislate for anything less than this ideal is to legislate for increased levels of child abuse - and = what kind of government would do that? =20 The natural order is a mother and a father. Children need a mother and father. Not two mummies or two daddies! The truth is that an = appreciation for a healthy masculinity and femininity is the hallmark of a successful society. The genders compliment each other. When we derogate either, we derogate both. It is interesting to note that the government is not removing the word 'mother' or 'maternity' only 'father' and 'paternity'. = How quaint? So fatherhood is expendable but motherhood is not. Where have I heard that before? In 1975 when the Australian Family Law Act was first brought in, every = one thought it was reasonable. Let us remove 'fault' from divorce. The only person openly opposing its introduction outside Federal Parliament in Canberra was Fred Nile and other passionate pro-family groups. Everyone = else acquiesced. As Edmund Burke said, "All that is needed for evil to = triumph is for good men to do nothing." However the real problem is where this new = NSW bill is taking us.=20 =20 It didn't take long for the Family Law Act to be manipulated by lawyers. This has now happened all over the world. The sum effect in Australia of = the last three decades has seen millions of fathers torn from their children = and families. How many men and how many children have committed suicide = because of this seemingly reasonable law? Fault always has to be apportioned. = The new fault in divorce became the male of the species. This new bill = before the NSW Parliament to derogate Fathers is simply an extension of that thought process. Fathers are expendable. Mothers are to be protected. = All men are 'bastards'. All women are victims.=20 Section 24.2b of the Anti-Discrimination Act is where this bill will get really interesting. You see there is 57 pieces of legislation that are = being amended. This is no small thing. It is being put to vote today, the day = of the NSW Budget in the hope that no one will notice. Does the Iemma government have a mandate to remove the word father from birth = certificates? The answer in short is 'no'! This bill was not mentioned at the last election. Section 24 will 'ban discrimination on domestic status'. This = can easily be reversed by a clever lawyer to ban the use of the word Father = but interestingly not Mother. We have many different legal opinions on it. = It will happen. It is only a matter of time. It is happening in California, = USA where the both 'mother' and 'father' are now discriminatory words in = certain school counties. It is happening in Spain with Progenitor 1 and = Progenitor 2 on Spanish birth certificates.=20 Surely it can't happen here! That's what they said about family law. = When you change the fundamentals you change everything. Moral relativism = takes over. Children lose their fundamental rights to a mother and father. Fathers become expendable. Marriage is demeaned. Families are redefined = and destroyed in the process. Children suffer with broken hearts. The = fatherless society endlessly perpetuates itself until the civilisation itself = crumbles from within and is no more. History is littered with such civilisations. = There are other ways to protect lesbian women from unjust discrimination without trying to destroy the natural order of male and female. Why = destroy fatherhood in order to attain what can already be attained? Maybe = something else is happening here? It is a well recognised fact that the majority = of lesbian women have never experienced a father's love. In fact it is = usually the reverse. Many lesbian women have been abused by a male father figure = or had bad experiences with men. That is why they hate men so perfectly. = Errant patriarchy is the ultimate evil as the recent case of child sexual abuse = in Austria has shown us. I ask your forgiveness if you have suffered in = such a way. As Bettina Arndt said, 'No gender has a monopoly on vice. The Same = Sex Relationship Bill, if it is passed, will only increase the number of = boys and girls who will never experience the joy of a father's love and so reinforce the concept that all men are indeed evil. =20 We all know that children can be left without a mother or a father when tragedy strikes. A woman is left widowed, a marriage does not work out, = a father walks out on his responsibility or simply works too hard and too long, a mother chooses a lesbian lifestyle. Each case is different but = the cost remains the same. Each results in a child becoming fatherless. =20 Fatherlessness according to Dr Bruce Robinson and other researchers is costing Australia over 13 billion dollars per year. It's not just the monetary cost, it's the endless tales of broken hearts and broken lives. = =20 Fatherless children have higher rates of poverty, lower educational performance, greater levels of involvement with crime, greater = likelihood of physical and mental health problems, greater levels of childhood = obesity, greater likelihood of substance abuse of both drugs and alcohol. Robert = Bly, the poet and author says, "Addiction does not have to do with Columbian = drug lords but with the absence of the father." Fatherless children are much = more prone to homicide or 'accidental death'. =20 A recent Australian study showed that children who do not live with = their natural biological father were between 17 and 77 times more likely to = die from intentional violence or accident. These facts are corroborated by academics from around the world. =20 Thousands of independent studies show that the safest place for a little girl or boy to grow up is with his or her natural biological father and mother.=20 =20 But the powers that be refuse to admit the truth or as Bernard Salt said recently, "Are obsessed with the ideology of political correctness." =20 The political correctness of our day does not want to recognise the = natural biological family as the safest place for our children. This same = political correctness has an inbuilt irrational hatred for the male of the species = and fathers in particular. =20 This same political correctness is blatantly anti-family and anti-life. Today we are here to make a stand against such sentiments. =20 In my youth I was rather radical. All my best friends were Trotskyites = and Marxists. I was passionate to make a stand for positive political = change. I went to the demonstrations at Sydney University to hear Hal Greenland = speak so passionately against the establishment of his day. =20 I marched with the young student revolutionaries on the streets of = Sydney in the Anti-war Moratorium who chanted,=20 "1 - 2 - 3 - 4,=20 we don't want your f***ing war".=20 =20 Today I cannot use the 'f' word but my chant goes something like this: "Political correctness go to hell.=20 We love our children can't you tell.=20 Mothers and fathers are here to stay.=20 Just you wait 'til election day." =20 News & Info =20 MENS HEALTH WEEK Mens Health -This week Men's Health Week 08 is putting the spotlight on Australia's rural men. Australasian Men's Health Forum President and UWS Professor, John = Macdonald, says "It's about a positive prescription for good health: catch up with = your mates share your stories about the week's ups and downs, talk with your family, and get involved in your local community and sporting clubs. See your local GP not just when you're sick, but get a check-up and maintain = a good quality of life." Men's Health Week 08 is coordinated by the Australasian Men's Health = Forum. The week is fronted by four passionate advocates for men's health and = rural issues (shown in order to the left): =B7 Lee Kernaghan, award winning Australian country music singer and songwriter, and 2008 Australian of the Year. =B7 Charles Wooley, Journalist and political commentator, and Across = Australia radio host. =B7 Angry Anderson, Australian rock singer, TV presenter and actor. =B7 Dr Rob Walters, Former Australian General Practice Network Chair, = and health commentator. ___________________________________________________________________ Mal Meningareckons in his recent survey: "The nation's iconic hard Aussie blokes are a dying breed...we've become = a nation of pansies." =20 WHERE HAVE ALL THE REAL MEN GONE ____________________________________________________________________ Breaking News:When I got home last night my wife demanded I take her out = to somewhere expensive...so I took her to the petrol station. ____________________________________________________________________ Dad: The Best Job in the World Story submitted by: John Smith E-Mail:johnsmith@coolmail.com.xyz Story is about: My father Jack Smith Date/time the event occurred: Every Christmas Location the event occurred: At home The Virtue: Empowerment Story We were a family that understood tough times. We didn't have much but Christmas every year was so special because my father Jack would = always... Hello friends of the Fathers Movement in Australia, Invitation You are invited to contribute to a new and wholly Australian book = entitled 'Dad: The Best Job in the World'.My intention for the book is to give = voice to the often publically silent role and influence of fathers in the = care, nurture and development of our children. The Stories We are looking for stories that move our hearts and our souls - stories = that will inspire us all to be the best Dads we can possibly be. We needcontributions from men and women who have inspirational stories = about their fathers - the things they said and did, both big and small - that positively shaped their lives. This is anopportunity to record your father's role in your life - the moments of triumph and tenderness which shaped the person you are today. Your story would be a great way to say - 'Thanks Dad, you mean more to = me than you will ever know'. The story needs to be a personal experience of your own and should be = about 250 words in length - up to 500 words for those larger than life = stories. The Style and Format In order to shape the style and format of the book, I've tried to = simplify the essence of being a great Dad. From my experience and research it appears to me that being a great Daddemands four virtues and the bookis divided into four main chapters focussing on thosevirtues which are: 1. Character - Who you are, 2.Capability - What you know, 3.Action - What you do,and 4. Empowerment - How you help others to grow. The above categories might help you to shape your story but if you have = a story and are unsure which category it fits, just submit it and we'll = find the right place for it. Publisher The Chief Executive of awell known Australian publishing house has = expressed keen interest and has asked to be the first to see the manuscript. The intended publishing date is Fathers Day 2008, so we need to move = fast. Proceeds and Complementary Copy We intend that part of the proceeds will be going to fund various groups = in Australia who support and promote the role of the father in the family, = such as Dads on the Air, The Fatherhood Foundation, Dads in Distress, The = Richard Hillman Foundation, The Mens' Rights Agency, The Family Law Web Guideand hopefully many, many more. In addition, if your story is accepted, you will receive a complementary copy of the book. What a great Fathers Day gift for you to give your = Dad. How to Submit a Story Simply open the attached document and fill in the blanks, save it and = send it back to this e-mail address. We will acknowledge receipt of the story = and keep you updated on the progress of the book's publication. I offer you my sincere thanks in anticipation of a flood of wonderful, inspiring stories from around Australia and from Australians around the world. Warm regards, Richard Bosi Author of 'Dad: The Best Job in the World' thebestjobintheworld@gmail.com About the Author My name is Richard Bosi and I served in the Australian Army for 24 years including time with the Special Air Service Regiment. I now consult nationally and internationally on Leadership and my = clients range from Chief Executives of large corporations through to disengaged youth. I am the father of a young son experiencing the challenges of divorce = and am witnessing the impact this has on a family and within the broader = Australian community. My intention for the book is to give voice to the often publically = silent role and influence of fathers in the care, nurture and development of = our children. Please add your voice to the growing chorus from within society that = wish to remind Australia of the impact our fathers and grandfathers had and have = on us today. ___________________________________________________________________ Letter to the Editor Illawarra Mercury =20 Families need fathers=20 Under the smokescreen of the NSW budget which apparently comes out on = June 3 this anti-male State Labor Government apparently intends to push through = the Same Sex Relationship Bill 2008.=20 Fathers believe the bill itself is an act of discrimination against = males to protect lesbian women from discrimination.=20 It is believed that 57 pieces of legislation are being amended and the = word father can be removed from public documents such as birth certificates, = but not the word mother.=20 After this State Government's attack on public school teacher transfers, privatisation of electricity, corruption in government and now this discrimination against fathers, the next state election can't come fast enough!=20 Having been a strong union supporter all my working life and having only voted conservative once when a previous state Labor government attacked public education (when the Greiner government came in) it's time to = throw the bad apples out! I have seen too much discrimination against men!=20 Families need fathers!=20 Bob Patrech, Figtree.=20 =20 =20 Letter to the Editor Canberra Times Dads squeezed out=20 The NSW Labor Government's Miscellaneous Acts Amendment (Same Sex Relationships) Bill 2008 is before the NSW Parliament.=20 If passed, the bill will remove the word father from birth certificates. = In its place, will appear the generic term parent.=20 One of the purposes of the bill will be to recognise lesbian couples = that have children through IVF treatment, as parents.=20 There may also be a later flow-on effect to homosexual couples.=20 What is the definition of lesbian plus lesbian or for that matter = homosexual plus homosexual?=20 I know what the definition of father plus mother is - parent.=20 John Flanagan, Non-Custodial Parents Party, Thirroul.=20 ___________________________________________________ =20 Report on NSW Anti-Male Miscellaneous Acts Amendment Legislation =20 I would like to thank all those who emailed and wrote letters of support = and those who attended the Dads4kids Forum at the NSW Parliament on Tuesday = 3rd June 2008. =20 All of your and our hard work have brought a partial victory. = Considering that the Labor Party's instruction to its members was to vote along = party lines or face expulsion and that the Liberal Party 'allowed' its members = a conscience vote (really just waving the white flag of surrender), we as concerned citizens of NSW who love our children were destined for defeat = on this issue. A partial victory amounts to quite a miracle, all things = being equal. I will do my best to give you an honest report. =20 The NSW Miscellaneous Acts Amendment (Same Sex Relationships) Bill 2008 = was the most evil, anti-child, anti-male, anti-father, anti-family, anti-marriage and badly drafted bill I have ever seen. In particular the decision by the Labor Party to put this bill into the parliament on the = day of the NSW Budget (the ultimate smokescreen) and then finally pass it in = the early hours of the morning shows the hidden evil intent behind the Bill. When something is passed late at night it misses the news cycle for the = same day and the following day as well. These sorts of scurrilous tactics = ensure that there is no proper public debate. The recent faulty changes to = family law 2006 in Federal Parliament were passed at a midnight hour also, It = is a political tactic that is used by both sides and it is deplorable. The = Iemma Government had no mandate for this bill, nor was it ever mentioned at = the last election. =20 The Bill when presented to the NSW State Parliament had the following distinct faults: =20 1) The Bill would remove the words 'father' and 'paternity' in over 50 pieces of legislation but not the word 'mother' and so was deliberately discriminatory - anti-male and anti-father. 2) The Bill would clash with other state and federal paternity leave legislation and proposals. 3) Because of its poor drafting the Bill had the ability to remove all fathers from birth certificates (but not necessarily mothers) with the installation of an anti-male registrar of birth and deaths. 4) The Bill advocated legalized lying by allowing 2 mothers to be = registered as mothers and the sperm father omitted without recourse. 5) The Bill would steal a child's biological birth right to know his = true parentage. 6) The Bill would infer that anyone who claims a child needs a father = and a mother, which is the biological reality, is a bigot. The Bill is avidly heterophobic. 7) The effect of the Bill would be an increase in levels of child abuse = in a society that is already saturated with high levels of child abuse and = child mortality directly linked with increased levels of fatherlessness. 8) The Bill refuses freedom of religion and the right of citizens to = answer to their conscience. George Orwell's '1984' observations have now become common law. Double-speak and double-think are now state statutes. 9) The Bill promotes homosexual marriage and homosexual adoption and as = such promotes ill health and gender disorientation pathology. It would be = similar in effect to the state government subsidizing and encouraging smoking, a proven unhealthy lifestyle choice. No government should ever actively promote ill health. 11) The Bill would rob the child of his ability to check for hereditary diseases, especially while young, and could lead to increased levels of degenerative hereditary coupling and diseases. 12) The Bill's foundation is anti-male, anti-family and anti-father and = as such should be opposed.=20 =20 One of the real concerns of this Bill was its effect on Section 24:2B of = the Anti-discrimination Act which will make fatherhood discriminatory after = a successful court challenge. Similar things have happened before. =20 =20 =20 We are thankful to the Hon Fred Nile for moving his amendments which = improve the Bill regarding points 1,2 and 3 but note that the included = amendments will have no effect on points 4-12. The Hon Fred Nile and other parliamentarians tried for other amendments but were outvoted every = time. A summarised Report from Hansard is available. =20 We thank all the parliamentarians who voted against the Bill and = encourage the general public to thank and appreciate them for their support for = our children and the mothers and fathers of NSW. In particular the = Fatherhood Foundation would like to thank: Shared Parenting Council, Dads in = Distress, Lone Fathers Association, Reforming Alliance, Festival of Light, = Australian Christian Lobby, Australian Family Association, Marriage and Family = Office, Equal Parenting Party, GRANS and many others too numerous to name = including many wonderful pro-family state parliamentarians (see below). =20 Warwick Marsh Fatherhood Foundation Ph: 02 4272 6677 Website: www.fatherhood.org.au =20 =20 Parliamentarians who voted against the NSW Miscellaneous Acts Amendment (Same Sex Relationships) Bill 2008 were: =20 NSW Legislative Council =20 Mr Clarke - david.clarke@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Ms Ficarra - marie.ficarra@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr Gallacher - michael.gallacher@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr Lynn - charlie.lynn@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr Mason-Cox - Matthew.Mason-Cox@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Rev Dr Moyes - gordon.moyes@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Rev Nile - F.Nile@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 =20 NSW Legislative Assembly =20 Mr Aplin - albury@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr Draper - tamworth@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mrs Fardell - dubbo@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr George - lismore@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr Hartcher - terrigal@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Ms Hodgkinson - burrinjuck@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr Merton - baulkhamhills@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr Richardson - castlehill@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr Roberts - lanecove@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr Smith - epping@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 Mr R. C. Williams - hawkesbury@parliament.nsw.gov.au =20 =20 =20 =20 Dad's Prayer =20 Dad Kids Dear God =20 Do you mean to tell me the thing my children want more than anything else is to spend time with me? Hanging out doing stuff? I thought they would like to be=20 with their friends or go to the movies. But it looks like mum and dad still come out on top. Sounds a lot like your family! Thanks for including me. =20 family group =20 =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.=20 Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source = of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence = in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, = involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.=20 =20 If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation = Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: =20 Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund=20 (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) =20 Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558=20 =20 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA =20 The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the = Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. =20 You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish = to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. =20 =20 Forward email =20 =20 = Safe Unsubscribe This email was sent to info@fathersonline.org, by info@fathersonline.org Update Profile/Email Address = | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe = =99 | Privacy Policy = . Email = Marketing by =20 Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | = Australia =20 =20 ------=_NextPart_000_0007_01C8CC13.60298D80 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

 

3D"FF

9th  June 2008    &n= bsp;       Inspiring Fathers  Encouraging = Families

Issue = 303

What Do Your Kids = Think? 

 

Dear = Friend,

Welcome to the Fatherhood = Foundation newsletter and email information service for the fathers and = families as we what our kids think.

 

In This = Issue

=

Frontline...What do your = children think...Competing against the modern media = onslaught

Laughter..What Kids = Think

Grandfathers...Raising = Boys

All You Need is Love..Divorce Shockwaves

Single Dads...End Domestic = Violence Sexism

Special Feature...The Cost of Fatherlessness

News & Info..Report on = Anti Male Legislation

Dad's Prayer..My children want = me

 

Next Week  =

 Stay Healthy - Live = Longer

Mens' = Health Week Special 

<= /font>

 =

Join our Mailing = List!

 

 

Quick Links

 

Thought of the = Week

      

 3D"Family

The family that eats together
stays together.
 
Anon
 

 

Frontline

 

          =   3D"Dad


As fathers we often feel that we are competing with a 'modern = media onslaught' against our family and children, and coming last in the popularity stakes.
 
Nothing could be further from the truth! Studies in both Australia = and America show that young people increasingly value family = relationships. The National Survey of Young Australians conducted by Mission = Australia, which has been conducted annually since 2002, surveys the opinions = of 11-24 year olds.
 
What do young people value the most? 
 
76% of those surveyed said, 'Family Relationships'. This shows an approximate 10% increase on the same question a few years ago.
 
Young people value family relationships more highly than anything = else. Friends other than family come in second at 60.3% and that figure = is going down. Physical and Mental Health, Being Independent, Feeling = Needed and Valued, come in at 33.1%, 32.9% and 25.6% respectively. Many = mums and dads will be surprised to know they rate that high in their = child's life,
 
Girls rate family relationships slightly higher than boys, but = that is hardly surprising. Women, in general, seem to be more relationship orientated than men. This is something we men ignore at our peril. = Our daughters and our wives are looking for a meaningful relationship = with us and it is our duty to fulfil their needs in this area.
 
In a US 'State of our Nation's Youth 2005/06 Survey' half the = young people (47%) said that if forced to choose a role model they would = choose a family i.e. parent role model. This is 300% more popular than = its nearest competitor in the survey. In that same study when asked = the open-ended question, "If you could, who would you spend more = time with?" Overwhelmingly the answer was family, followed closely = by friends. If you had asked most of the parents in Australia who = would they expect their child/teenager to want to spend time with, they would probably say their friends, not family, and so would I. We would = all be wrong.
 
It is also interesting to note in the Mission Australia survey = that among issues that concern our children and teenagers the most, is family conflict 29.3%, which is a very close second to body image, = sitting at 32.3%.
 
What do all of these statistics mean to you as a father?
 
The most important thing to realize is that you, as a parent, are = the most important person in your child's life.
 
Secondly, you are your child's No 1 role model (according to your = child).
 
Thirdly our children actually WANT to spend more time with us but = it would seem that we do not respond to this request as much as we = should.
 
Fourthly the thing our children dislike most about family is not = family but 'conflict' within the family.
 
My favourite night of the week is Monday night, our Family Dinner Night.  We all talk, laugh, pray, have fun and eat together. = I get a chance to hold my two gorgeous granddaughters (almost 5 months old = now) as does my wife and their other uncles and aunties. We get a = chance to hang our with all of our 5 children, aged from 27 years to 15 = years, their spouses and fianc=E9es, and they with us. None of us miss = out on Family Dinner Night except in emergencies. We all actually love to = be with each other. The family that eats together stays together, and = for our family that includes praying together.
 
If your home is filled with love your children will love to be = with you! As John Bowring says, 'A happy family is an early heaven.'
 
Lovework
 
Start a weekly Family Dinner Night if you don't already have the = habit. If your children are young, make it fun. If they are older, just = hanging out and talking takes the cake. Make sure it's a celebration and = make sure you tell them (and show them) every week that they are = greatly loved. Another tip - avoid family conflict. You children will be = happier if your do!
 
Remember love is the greatest force in the universe - greater than gravity.
 
Yours for more family dinners - a happy family is an early = heaven.
Warwick Marsh
 
PS. This week has been a big week. The Fatherhood Foundation = worked really hard to secure the future of fatherhood in our home state = of New South Wales, Australia. The good news is that we partially = succeeded. Full report on the Dads4kids Forum can be found in News & = Info. The speech that my wife and I gave can be found in the Special = Feature.
 
Your financial help is greatly appreciated and is Tax Deductible. = Beat the tax man and help our children at the same = time.Donate = HERE

= _________________________________________________________________________= _____

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison = for 32 years. He is the grandfather of two children and father of five = children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 27 years to 15 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and = public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at = himself.

 

Laughter

     =

 WHAT KIDS = THINK!3D"Kid

=

    =

What Exactly Is = Marriage?
"Marria= ge is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back = to her parents" -Eric, six years old

"When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might = propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at = least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one = particular thing for me.' Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the = thing is and whether it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out." -Anita, nine years old


How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry?
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with = him and tails means you try the next one." -Kelly, nine years old

"My mother says to look for a man who is kind....That's what = I'll do....I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." = -Carolyn, eight years old


Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a = wife" -Bert, five years old


How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?
"They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they = went for a drive, but their car broke down...It was a good thing, because = it gave them a chance to find out about their values." -Lottie, nine = years old

"My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They = won't tell me what kind." -Jeremy, eight years old


What Do Most People Do on a Date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other = lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second = date." -Martin, ten years old

"Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk = about love." -Craig, nine years old


When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to = buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of = the wedding." -Allan, ten years old

"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing = thing if anybody sees you....If nobody sees you, I might be willing to = try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." -Kally, nine = years old


The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or = Married?
"You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan" = -Kirsten, ten years old

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys = need somebody to clean up after them" -Anita, nine years old

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a = kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -Will, seven years old
 

 

Grandfathers

 

My father used to play = 3D"Raising
with my brother and me
out on the lawn.
Mother would come out and say,
"You are tearing up the grass."
"We are not raising grass,"
Dad would reply,"We are raising = boys."
 
Harman Killebrew
 

 

All You = Need is Love

Shockwaves of Divorce Slam Entire = Family
By Tracey O'Shaughnessy
Sunday, June 1, 2008  3D"Divorce
 
Last night, my brother told his son that he is getting a divorce. = It was the conversation he had dodged and choked on, the inevitability he = had hoped to defer or evade.
 
Whenever he came near the subject, he saw himself 35 years before, weeping into my mother's chenille robe, begging her to tell him = that the rumors - my father's flight, his irreversible departure - were not = true. He saw the hedges going untrimmed, the shingles on the house = rotting and then falling off, the basement ruined by an incontinent dog, the = illusion of family bliss irremediably shattered.
 
And in spite of all these ghosts, my brother had come to the same conclusion his father had: He could no longer live in the same = house with his wife.
 
I wish I could say I was sanguine about this decision, or that I = stood resolutely at my brother's side, supporting him in every barbed = assault and eviscerating invective. The truth is, I was shamefully = equivocal about the whole thing. To be a child of divorce is one burden. To = watch another unfold is an acute form of torture, laced with poisonous memories. Misery to an adult is comprehensible, and even soluble. = To a child, it is merely cruel and incomprehensible.
 
Nevertheless, my brother was resolute. As his sister, I am bound = by blood to support him - even if it meant distancing me from a = sister-in-law I loved.
 
Divorce has become so common in American society that it is often = viewed as just another pothole on the highway of contemporary life. So = common are its features - the single-parent household, the divorced-dad = condos, the joint-custody juggling act - that divorce has been declawed. = The sidelong glances and collective shunning that my parents endured = when they divorced in the early 1970s has been replaced by a collective = shrug. Today, we have books about "The Starter Marriage," as if = the implosion of a first marriage is inevitable.
 
Statistics bear this out. Nearly 43 percent of marriages in the = U.S. end in divorce, the federal government reports. The first years of a = marriage are particularly vulnerable ones; one in three first marriages end = within 10 years and one in five within 5 years. Today, a married couple = with children is the exception rather than the norm.
 
There should be safety in numbers - or at least some semblance of = solace.
Divorce shouldn't hurt my brother and sister-in-law as much as it = does. But it is hurting them acutely and perhaps irremediably, largely = because they are both children of divorce and intimately acquainted with = its cruelty.
 
When my brother's chocolate brown eyes meet the wounded, familiar = eyes of his 6-year-old son, the anguish is exquisitely familiar. It is, in = fact, unbearable.
 
Unlike a marriage, divorce is excruciatingly lonely. Marriage, = with its lavish drama and celebratory rituals, is lavish with witnesses and supporters. It's easy to forget that the reason we squeeze into uncomfortable, dazzling clothes and embrace a couple exchanging = intimate assertions of fidelity, is to support and sustain their = pledge.
 
So, when a couple unravels so fabulously, it is easy for family = members like myself to feel a wee bit guilty.
 
It has not gone unnoticed by my family that my brother and = sister-in-law have spent thousands of dollars on professional advice in an = attempt to keep their marriage alive. I often wonder where the rest of us = were during these pricey therapy sessions. Certainly, geography and = employment have flung us into disparate quarters. But I remember my = grandmother's quiet assertion that there was nothing that couldn't be solved = with a cup of tea, a kitchen table and a little forbearance.
 
When my grandmother had inevitable travails with her volatile = Irish husband, her sister Ruthie would come "up the house" for = a cup of tea and sympathy.
In the end, it was mended. It was not perfect, but it was = endurable. Today, things seem less endurable, perhaps because the choices are = too robust, or perhaps because children of fractious marriages will = not tolerate such chronic irascibility in their own lives.
 
Oh, for a few Aunt Ruths, in their polyester pantsuits and = sensible shoes.
Heaven knows how many marriages they saved.
 
I, alas, saved none, in spite of my fervid entreaties. Now I am = left to figure out how to sustain my beloved and bedraggled brother, my = shattered and confused nephew and a sister-in-law I am supposed to excise = from my life. It will be less of a struggle for me, than for him, to be = sure. But a divorce's effect on a family is not limited to the couple whose marriage imploded. It sends shock waves throughout a fragile web, = ripples that are deep and tenacious, and whose end is unknown.

 

Single Dads =

TIME TO END SEXISM IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE = POLICY
By Roger Smith3D"Woman
Part 2
=A0
=A0
Some feminist-orientated academics, faced with the results of = population studies, have partially dismissed them by presupposing a somewhat = unreal dichotomy between non-gender-based "situational couple violence" to which they claim the studies relate and = gender-based "intimate terrorism". But the domestic violence service industry, accustomed to policy victories without the need for = rigorous evidence-based research, has mostly just ignored the findings - = perhaps in the hope that they will go away.
=A0
While there is certainly no harm in making DV services readily = available to women in need, there is considerable harm, as the New Zealand = study suggests, in invalidating men's experience of violence and abuse = in relationships. The inference in doing so is that intimate partner violence and abuse by women is acceptable - or even commendable - = as a demonstration of feminine assertiveness in today's society.
=A0
Saturation public advertising campaigns such as "Violence = against Women - Australia Says 'No'", by deliberately acknowledging = only female victims, might be useful in reducing the incidence of male perpetration, but they probably also create more male victims by = their implicit message that women are permitted to do whatever they like = to their male partners and society will always blame the man.
=A0
In the 1950s, battered wives who presented to doctors for = treatment were advised to make their husbands happier so that he would stop the = abuse. In the present day, male victims of domestic violence - whether = physical or emotional - can expect to fare no better and in many cases = probably worse. They are often treated with derision or disbelief, or more = likely, just ignored. Where men complain of abuse to a counselling = industry in Australia built on Duluth philosophy and principles, they can = expect to be told that "it's just her way of getting her needs = met" and are told to look for ways they can make their wife happier by = taking on more household chores.
=A0
If a male victim, as is unfortunately often the case, responds to = longstanding physical and/or mental cruelty by retaliating or just defending = himself, he could expect to face the possibility of losing everything - his = home, his children, his reputation, his job. Domestic violence = campaigners who are supposed to be protecting victims have made sure that any pre-existing abuse (physical or psychological) by the woman will = likely be disregarded. If this is not a power imbalance, then what = is?
=A0
At best, male victims of domestic violence will be advised to = leave an abusive relationship, but this is often easier said than done.
=A0
Given that family court judges often haven't caught up with = changes in Australian society and assume that women have a domestic role and = men a role in the paid economy, men until recently have rarely been = granted shared custody and are usually encumbered with unequal property settlements that see them losing the increasingly unaffordable = family home.
=A0
The prospect of being kicked out of a comfortable family home they = spent a lifetime working for to live in cramped rental accommodation and = loss of regular contact with their children is enough to lead many men = to despair. It comes as no surprise that they will often fight to = save even a miserable marriage rather than face that prospect.
=A0
Newly-enacted humane family law and child support schemes that = recognize changes to Australian society are a welcome development.
=A0
But while our Federal laws are finally catching up with the 21st = century, the State and Territory-based laws and the attitudes of the mostly = middle-aged women who run domestic violence services in Australia are still, = in many respects, stuck in a 1970s time warp.
=A0
It is time to remind these mostly fair-minded older sisters in = charge of DV services from which men are excluded of the nondiscriminatory = ideals for which they once fought. To acknowledge the importance of non-discrimination in policy and service provision in no way = implies any undermining of support services for women victims - if that is = their concern. On the contrary, it recognizes the appalling damage that = DV can cause to victims of whatever background.
=A0
In 2008, there are no longer any excuses. It's time for Western = feminists to move into the 21st century and embrace the ideals of equality = that they themselves once advocated. Because at the end of the day, we = are really only asking for a simple acknowledgement - 'yes', women do = commit domestic violence and 'no' it is not acceptable!
=A0
Roger Smith
Canberra

 

Special = Feature

The Cost of = Fatherlessness
Warwick &= amp; Alison  Marsh
Dads4kids Forum
Parliament House, Sydney 3DChild
3rd June 2008
  Thank = you for coming to the Dads4kids Forum today at Parliament House.
 
Today you are part of history. You represent the silent majority = of NSW's citizens who still believe in the birds and the bees. It would = seem that Mr Iemma's Government now believes in spontaneous combustion, or = maybe it's a case of bring back the stork. The good news is that you = don't believe such nonsense - that's why you are here.
=             &= nbsp;           &n= bsp;
You are here to show the NSW Labor Government that you care for = our children. The Miscellaneous Acts Amendment (Same Sex = Relationships) Bill 2008, currently before the NSW Parliament, shows that Mr Iemma's Government does not care for our children.
 
Today you will hear from many leaders within the fatherhood and = family movement. Those radical revolutionaries who dare to disagree with = the sacred state doctrine of political correctness. Those radical free-thinkers who dare to question the faceless social engineers = who foist their carefully crafted politically correct ideas on an unsuspecting proletariat. The oppressed have become the = oppressors. As George Orwell wrote, "Everybody's equal but some are more = equal than others." It would seem that you and I are becoming less and = less equal as each day passes.
 
Children need a mother and a father. To legislate for anything = less than this ideal is to legislate for increased levels of child abuse - = and what kind of government would do that?
 
The natural order is a mother and a father. Children need a mother = and father. Not two mummies or two daddies! The truth is that an = appreciation for a healthy masculinity and femininity is the hallmark of a = successful society. The genders compliment each other. When we derogate = either, we derogate both.  It is interesting to note that the government = is not removing the word 'mother' or 'maternity' only 'father' and = 'paternity'. How quaint? So fatherhood is expendable but motherhood is not. = Where have I heard that before?

 In 1975 when the Australian Family Law Act was first brought = in, every one thought it was reasonable. Let us remove 'fault' from divorce.  The only person openly opposing its introduction = outside Federal Parliament in Canberra was Fred Nile and other passionate pro-family groups. Everyone else acquiesced. As Edmund Burke said, "All that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." However the real problem is where this new NSW bill = is taking us.
 
It didn't take long for the Family Law Act to be manipulated by = lawyers. This has now happened all over the world. The sum effect in = Australia of the last three decades has seen millions of fathers torn from = their children and families. How many men and how many children have = committed suicide because of this seemingly reasonable law? Fault always has = to be apportioned. The new fault in divorce became the male of the = species. This new bill before the NSW Parliament to derogate Fathers is = simply an extension of that thought process.  Fathers are expendable. = Mothers are to be protected. All men are 'bastards'. All women are = victims.


Section 24.2b of the Anti-Discrimination Act is where this bill = will get really interesting. You see there is 57 pieces of legislation that = are being amended. This is no small thing. It is being put to vote = today, the day of the NSW Budget in the hope that no one will notice. Does = the Iemma government have a mandate to remove the word father from birth certificates? The answer in short is 'no'! This bill was not = mentioned at the last election. Section 24 will 'ban discrimination on domestic status'. This can easily be reversed by a clever lawyer to ban the = use of the word Father but interestingly not Mother. We have many = different legal opinions on it. It will happen. It is only a matter of time. = It is happening in California, USA where the both 'mother' and 'father' = are now discriminatory words in certain school counties.  It is = happening in Spain with Progenitor 1 and Progenitor 2 on Spanish birth = certificates.

Surely it can't happen here! That's what they said about family = law. When you change the fundamentals you change everything. Moral = relativism takes over.  Children lose their fundamental rights to a mother and father. Fathers become expendable. Marriage is demeaned. Families = are redefined and destroyed in the process. Children suffer with = broken hearts. The fatherless society endlessly perpetuates itself = until the civilisation itself crumbles from within and is no more. = History is littered with such civilisations.

There are other ways to protect lesbian women from unjust = discrimination without trying to destroy the natural order of male and female. = Why destroy fatherhood in order to attain what can already be = attained? Maybe something else is happening here? It is a well recognised fact = that the majority of lesbian women have never experienced a father's love. = In fact it is usually the reverse. Many lesbian women have been abused by = a male father figure or had bad experiences with men. That is why they = hate men so perfectly. Errant patriarchy is the ultimate evil as the recent = case of child sexual abuse in Austria has shown us. I ask your = forgiveness if you have suffered in such a way. As Bettina Arndt said, 'No gender = has a monopoly on vice. The Same Sex Relationship Bill, if it is passed, = will only increase the number of boys and girls who will never = experience the joy of a father's love and so reinforce the concept that all men = are indeed evil.
 
We all know that children can be left without a mother or a father = when tragedy strikes. A woman is left widowed, a marriage does not work = out, a father walks out on his responsibility or simply works too hard = and too long, a mother chooses a lesbian lifestyle. Each case is different = but the cost remains the same. Each results in a child becoming = fatherless.
 
Fatherlessness according to Dr Bruce Robinson and other = researchers is costing Australia over 13 billion dollars per year. It's not just = the monetary cost, it's the endless tales of broken hearts and broken = lives.
 
Fatherless children have higher rates of poverty, lower = educational performance, greater levels of involvement with crime, greater = likelihood of physical and mental health problems, greater levels of = childhood obesity, greater likelihood of substance abuse of both drugs and = alcohol. Robert Bly, the poet and author says, "Addiction does not = have to do with Columbian drug lords but with the absence of the = father." Fatherless children are much more prone to homicide or 'accidental death'.
 
A recent Australian study showed that children who do not live = with their natural biological father were between 17 and 77 times more likely = to die from intentional violence or accident. These facts are = corroborated by academics from around the world.
 
Thousands of independent studies show that the safest place for a = little girl or boy to grow up is with his or her natural biological = father and mother.
 
But the powers that be refuse to admit the truth or as Bernard = Salt said recently, "Are obsessed with the ideology of political correctness."
 
The political correctness of our day does not want to recognise = the natural biological family as the safest place for our children. = This same political correctness has an inbuilt irrational hatred for the = male of the species and fathers in particular.
 
This same political correctness is blatantly anti-family and = anti-life. Today we are here to make a stand against such sentiments.
 
In my youth I was rather radical. All my best friends were = Trotskyites and Marxists. I was passionate to make a stand for positive = political change. I went to the demonstrations at Sydney University to hear = Hal Greenland speak so passionately against the establishment of his = day.
 
I marched with the young student revolutionaries on the streets of = Sydney in the Anti-war Moratorium who chanted,
"1  -  2  -  3  -  4,
we don't want your f***ing war".
 
Today I cannot use the 'f' word but my chant goes something like = this:
"Political correctness go to hell.
We love our children can't you tell.
Mothers and fathers are here to stay.
Just you wait 'til election day."

 

 News & Info

=

=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0= =A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0= =A0=A0

MENS HEALTH WEEK3D"Mens-This = week

Men's Health Week 08 is putting the spotlight on = Australia's rural men.
Australasian Men's Health Forum President and UWS Professor, John Macdonald, says "It's about a positive prescription for good = health: catch up with your mates share your stories about the week's ups = and downs, talk with your family, and get involved in your local = community and sporting clubs. See your local GP not just when you're sick, = but get a check-up and maintain a good quality of life."

Men's Health Week 08 is coordinated by the Australasian Men's = Health Forum. The week is fronted by four passionate advocates for men's = health and rural issues (shown in order to the left):
=B7 Lee Kernaghan, award winning Australian country music singer = and songwriter, and 2008 Australian of the Year.

=B7 Charles Wooley, Journalist and political commentator, and = Across Australia radio host.

=B7 Angry Anderson, Australian rock singer, TV presenter and = actor.

=B7 Dr Rob Walters, Former Australian General Practice Network = Chair, and health commentator.


= ___________________________________________________________________<= /o:p>

Mal Meningareckons in his recent = survey:

"The nation's iconic hard Aussie blokes are a = dying breed...we've become a nation of = pansies."

____________________________________________________________= ________

Breaking = News:When I got home last night my wife demanded I = take her out to somewhere expensive...so I took her to the petrol = station.

____________________________________________________________= ________

Dad: The Best Job in the = World

Story submitted by: John Smith
E-Mail:johnsmith@coolmail.com.xyz
Story is about: My father Jack Smith
Date/time the event occurred: Every Christmas
Location the event occurred: At home
The Virtue: Empowerment

Story

We were a family that understood tough times. We didn't have much = but Christmas every year was so special because my father Jack would always...

Hello friends of the Fathers Movement in = Australia,

Invitation
You are invited to contribute to a new and wholly Australian book entitled 'Dad: The Best Job in the World'.My intention for the = book is to give voice to the often publically silent role and influence of = fathers in the care, nurture and development of our children.
The Stories
We are looking for stories that move our hearts and our souls - = stories that will inspire us all to be the best Dads we can possibly be. = We needcontributions from men and women who have inspirational = stories about their fathers - the things they said and did, both big and small - = that positively shaped their lives.
This is anopportunity to record your father's role in your life - = the moments of triumph and tenderness which shaped the person you are = today. Your story would be a great way to say - 'Thanks Dad, you mean = more to me than you will ever know'.
The story needs to be a personal experience of your own and should = be about 250 words in length - up to 500 words for those larger than = life stories.
The Style and Format
In order to shape the style and format of the book, = I've tried to simplify the essence of being a great Dad.
From my experience and research it appears to me that being a = great Daddemands four virtues and the bookis divided into four main = chapters focussing on thosevirtues which are:
1. Character - Who you are,
2.Capability - What you know,
3.Action - What you do,and
4. Empowerment - How you help others to grow.
The above categories might help you to shape your story but if you = have a story and are unsure which category it fits, just submit it and = we'll find the right place for it.
Publisher
The Chief Executive of awell known Australian = publishing house has expressed keen interest and has asked to be the first to see = the manuscript.
The intended publishing date is Fathers Day 2008, so we need to = move fast.
Proceeds and Complementary Copy
We intend that part of the proceeds will be going to fund various = groups in Australia who support and promote the role of the father in the family, such as Dads on the Air, The Fatherhood Foundation, Dads = in Distress, The Richard Hillman Foundation, The Mens' Rights Agency, = The Family Law Web Guideand hopefully many, many more.
In addition, if your story is accepted, you will receive a = complementary copy of the book. What a great Fathers Day gift for you to give = your Dad.
How to Submit a Story
Simply open the attached document and fill in the = blanks, save it and send it back to this e-mail address. We will acknowledge = receipt of the story and keep you updated on the progress of the book's publication.
I offer you my sincere thanks in anticipation of a flood of = wonderful, inspiring stories from around Australia and from Australians = around the world.

Warm regards,
Richard Bosi
Author of 'Dad: The Best Job in the World'
thebestjobintheworld@gmail.com

About the Author
My name is Richard Bosi and I served in the Australian Army for 24 = years including time with the Special Air Service Regiment.
I now consult nationally and internationally on Leadership and my = clients range from Chief Executives of large corporations through to = disengaged youth.
I am the father of a young son experiencing the challenges of = divorce and am witnessing the impact this has on a family and within the = broader Australian community.
My intention for the book is to give voice to the often publically = silent role and influence of fathers in the care, nurture and development = of our children.
Please add your voice to the growing chorus from within society = that wish to remind Australia of the impact our fathers and grandfathers had = and have on us today.

____________________________________________________________= _______

Letter to the Editor Illawarra Mercury

 

Families need fathers
Under = the smokescreen of the NSW budget which apparently comes out on June 3 = this anti-male State Labor Government apparently intends to push = through the Same Sex Relationship Bill 2008.
Fathers believe the bill itself is an act of discrimination = against males to protect lesbian women from discrimination.
It is believed that 57 pieces of legislation are being amended and = the word father can be removed from public documents such as birth certificates, but not the word mother.
After this State Government's attack on public school teacher = transfers, privatisation of electricity, corruption in government and now = this discrimination against fathers, the next state election can't come = fast enough!
Having been a strong union supporter all my working life and = having only voted conservative once when a previous state Labor government = attacked public education (when the Greiner government came in) it's time = to throw the bad apples out! I have seen too much discrimination against = men!
Families need fathers!
Bob Patrech, Figtree.

 

 

Letter to the Editor  Canberra Times


Dads = squeezed out
The NSW = Labor Government's Miscellaneous Acts Amendment (Same Sex Relationships) = Bill 2008 is before the NSW Parliament.
If passed, the bill will remove the word father from birth = certificates. In its place, will appear the generic term parent.
One of the purposes of the bill will be to recognise lesbian = couples that have children through IVF treatment, as parents.
There may also be a later flow-on effect to homosexual couples. =
What is the definition of lesbian plus lesbian or for that matter homosexual plus homosexual?
I know what the definition of father plus mother is - parent.
 John Flanagan, Non-Custodial Parents Party, Thirroul.

___________________________________= ________________

 
Report on = NSW Anti-Male Miscellaneous Acts Amendment = Legislation
 
I would like to thank all those who emailed and wrote letters of = support and those who attended the Dads4kids Forum at the NSW Parliament = on Tuesday 3rd June 2008.
 
All of your and our hard work have brought a partial victory. = Considering that the Labor Party's instruction to its members was to vote = along party lines or face expulsion and that the Liberal Party 'allowed' its = members a conscience vote (really just waving the white flag of = surrender), we as concerned citizens of NSW who love our children were destined for = defeat on this issue. A partial victory amounts to quite a miracle, all = things being equal. I will do my best to give you an honest report.
 
The NSW Miscellaneous Acts Amendment (Same Sex Relationships) Bill = 2008 was the most evil, anti-child, anti-male, anti-father, = anti-family, anti-marriage and badly drafted bill I have ever seen. In = particular the decision by the Labor Party to put this bill into the parliament = on the day of the NSW Budget (the ultimate smokescreen) and then finally = pass it in the early hours of the morning shows the hidden evil intent = behind the Bill. When something is passed late at night it misses the news = cycle for the same day and the following day as well. These sorts of = scurrilous tactics ensure that there is no proper public debate. The recent = faulty changes to family law 2006 in Federal Parliament were passed at a midnight hour also, It is a political tactic that is used by both = sides and it is deplorable. The Iemma Government had no mandate for this = bill, nor was it ever mentioned at the last election.
 
The Bill when presented to the NSW State Parliament had the = following distinct faults:
 
1) The Bill would remove the words 'father' and 'paternity' in = over 50 pieces of legislation but not the word 'mother' and so was = deliberately discriminatory - anti-male and anti-father.
2) The Bill would clash with other state and federal paternity = leave legislation and proposals.
3) Because of its poor drafting the Bill had the ability to remove = all fathers from birth certificates (but not necessarily mothers) with = the installation of an anti-male registrar of birth and deaths.
4) The Bill advocated legalized lying by allowing 2 mothers to be registered as mothers and the sperm father omitted without = recourse.
5) The Bill would steal a child's biological birth right to know = his true parentage.
6) The Bill would infer that anyone who claims a child needs a = father and a mother, which is the biological reality, is a bigot. The Bill is = avidly heterophobic.
7) The effect of the Bill would be an increase in levels of child = abuse in a society that is already saturated with high levels of child = abuse and child mortality directly linked with increased levels of fatherlessness.
8) The Bill refuses freedom of religion and the right of citizens = to answer to their conscience. George Orwell's '1984' observations = have now become common law. Double-speak and double-think are now state = statutes.
9) The Bill promotes homosexual marriage and homosexual adoption = and as such promotes ill health and gender disorientation pathology. It = would be similar in effect to the state government subsidizing and = encouraging smoking, a proven unhealthy lifestyle choice. No government should = ever actively promote ill health.
11) The Bill would rob the child of his ability to check for = hereditary diseases, especially while young, and could lead to increased = levels of degenerative hereditary coupling and diseases.
12) The Bill's foundation is anti-male, anti-family and = anti-father and as such should be opposed.
 
One of the real concerns of this Bill was its effect on Section = 24:2B of the Anti-discrimination Act which will make fatherhood = discriminatory after a successful court challenge. Similar things have happened = before.
 
 
 
We are thankful to the Hon Fred Nile for moving his amendments = which improve the Bill regarding points 1,2 and 3 but note that the = included amendments will have no effect on points 4-12. The Hon Fred Nile = and other parliamentarians tried for other amendments but were = outvoted every time. A summarised Report from Hansard is available.
 
We thank all the parliamentarians who voted against the Bill and encourage the general public to thank and appreciate them for = their support for our children and the mothers and fathers of NSW. In particular the Fatherhood Foundation would like to thank: Shared Parenting Council, Dads in Distress, Lone Fathers Association, = Reforming Alliance, Festival of Light, Australian Christian Lobby, = Australian Family Association, Marriage and Family Office, Equal Parenting = Party, GRANS and many others too numerous to name including many = wonderful pro-family state parliamentarians (see below).
 
Warwick Marsh
Fatherhood Foundation
Ph: 02 4272 6677
Website: www.fatherhood.org.au  
 
Parliamentarians who voted against the NSW Miscellaneous Acts = Amendment (Same Sex Relationships) Bill 2008 were:
 
NSW Legislative Council
 
Mr Clarke - david.clarke@parliament.nsw.gov.au =  
Ms Ficarra - marie.ficarra@parliament.nsw.gov.au =  
Mr Gallacher - michael.gallacher@parliament.nsw.gov.au =  
Mr Lynn - charlie.lynn@parliament.nsw.gov.au =  
Mr Mason-Cox - Matthew.Mason-Cox@parliament.nsw.gov.au =  
Rev Dr Moyes - gordon.moyes@parliament.nsw.gov.au =  
Rev Nile - F.Nile@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
 
NSW Legislative Assembly
 
Mr Aplin - albury@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
Mr Draper - tamworth@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
Mrs Fardell - dubbo@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
Mr George - lismore@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
Mr Hartcher - terrigal@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
Ms Hodgkinson - burrinjuck@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
Mr Merton - baulkhamhills@parliament.nsw.gov.au =  
Mr Richardson - castlehill@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
Mr Roberts - lanecove@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
Mr Smith - epping@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
Mr R. C. Williams - hawkesbury@parliament.nsw.gov.au  
 
 

 

Dad's Prayer

 

3D"DadDear God
 
Do you mean to tell me
the thing my children want
more than anything else
is to spend time with me?
Hanging out doing stuff?
I thought they would like to be
with their friends
or go to the movies.
But it looks like mum and dad
still come out on top.
Sounds a lot like your family!
Thanks for including me.
 

3D"family

 

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention = Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be = a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and = deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the = well-being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially to the = Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax = deductibility:

 =

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund =
(Name, = address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax = deductibility)

 


Westpac Branch = Wollongong          &nb= sp;          DONATE = ONLINE


BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

 

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW  2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a = public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act = 1997.

 

You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, please = click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

 

 

3D"Safe

This email = was sent to info@fathersonline.org, by info@fathersonline.org

Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | = Australia

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