Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au (130.130.68.31) by staffmail.uow.edu.au (10.5.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server id 8.1.291.1; Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:48:58 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1KonGc-0001hG-Jl for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:48:58 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.10.2-GA) with ESMTP id OWN31656; Sun, 12 Oct 2008 08:48:54 +1000 (EST) Received: from p2-ws508.ad.prodcc.net (unknown [10.252.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id AA71818609CC for ; Sat, 11 Oct 2008 18:30:36 -0400 (EDT) From: Fatherhood Foundation To: Brian Lane Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:30:59 +1100 Subject: Love Secrets Thread-Topic: Love Secrets Thread-Index: Ackr84woz+D5k5piQvaSpI4gZ/99Cw== Message-ID: <1102277300759.1101938345415.1211.8.103183002@scheduler> List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykQOns2-5Gv6bjWSFYBKINRQ== Reply-To: "info@fathersonline.org" Accept-Language: en-AU, en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthAs: Anonymous X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthSource: excasht01.ad.uow.edu.au X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: x-junkmail-status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au x-junkmail-sd-raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A090204.48F12D59.01A3:SCFMA772204,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2008-08-01 02:07:42, dmn=5.7.1/2008-09-02, mode=single engine x-junkmail-iwf: false x-return-path-hint: ESC1102277300759_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com x-roving-id: 1101938345415.1211 x-lumos-senderid: 1101938345415 x-roving-campaignid: 1102277300759 x-roving-streamid: 0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_1102277300759110193834541512118103183002scheduler_" MIME-Version: 1.0 --_000_1102277300759110193834541512118103183002scheduler_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/11.jpg?a=3D11= 02277300759] 13th October 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 321 [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/1101093164665/people3_header= 1.jpg] Love Secrets Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for fathers and families as we present Love Secrets In This Issue Frontline...Love Secrets Laughter.. The Secret Grandfathers...Loving Children Single Dads...Not So Secret All You Need is Love..Secrets of Happy Marriage Special Feature...Over the Top News & Info..Dads4Kids Dad's Prayer..Washing Machine Jitterbug Next Week The Three Laws of Fathering Join our Mailing List! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/ftf_btn_1.gif] Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation Dads in Distress Men to Men Malachi Global Marriage com au Mannet Living Waters Care for the Family UK Wild at Heart CSA Adverts Thought of the Week [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/452.jpg?a=3D= 1102277300759] Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm . . . Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill Link of the Week Hard Working Washing Machine Frontline [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/446.jpg?a=3D1= 102277300759]Love Secrets are wonderful but can be very hard to carry out. = Good intentions often fail. The best laid plans of mice and men. . . This w= eek I failed to carry out my well-intentioned plans. However failure hasn't stopped me. Winston Churchill's famous speech has in= spired me: "Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm . . . S= uccess is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue th= at counts." My Love Secret this week is: A man must always remember that the washing machine is king. We forget this at our own peril. Our washing machine died 2 weeks ago. It h= ad had its fair share of repairs but after 1 million loads with a family of= 5 children, four of whom are boys, it had finally given up the ghost. As an experienced family man, and occupying the grand position of CEO of th= e Fatherhood Foundation, you would think I would remember my own mantra, "T= he Washing Machine is King". Please notice that I didn't say 'Queen'. Every= woman these days, often holding down either a full time or part time job a= s well as being a busy mum and running a household, knows that a good, reli= able washing machine is a woman's best friend. But her husband need to reco= gnize the importance and ensure success of the washing machine. Before our washing machine died, it used to get out of balance and jitterbu= g all over the laundry like an out-of-control Darlek chanting its electroni= c drone: 'destroy, destroy, destroy . .' Any father that could let this hap= pen without his early intervention is out of his mind. I certainly was. I s= hould have known better. I should have learnt from experience. Many years ago when my 5 children were at their zenith of producing dirty c= lothes I bought a 'cheap, second-hand washing machine' on the premise that = I was saving money. Within days I had to call a repairman and was just abou= t to call Marriage Savers Anonymous after the third flooding of the laundry= , with dirty washing and nappies everywhere. I'm convinced that a good father must do one thing well - that is take resp= onsibility for a well-functioning washing machine. It is one of the few hou= sehold appliances worth going into debt for. Buying a washing machine is an= investment in love. The good news is that I learned my lesson after several trips to the laundr= omat plus a heightening of tension in the home. Yes, we live in a consumer society which I often criticize, but some items = in our modern homes don't seem to be optional extras. One of those items is= a good reliable washing machine. Often, as men, we think of the washing ma= chine as a non-core asset but for busy mums it is an absolute necessity. My= wife promptly gave me instructions on how to operate it so unfortunately I= can no longer claim ignorance. It looks like I will have to do more washin= g, contrary to what my male ego would dictate. Best of all, my wife is happy. When my wife is happy, my children are happy= . When my wife and children are happy we have a happy family. Funny about t= hat isn't it? Lovework Be careful that your washing machine doesn't become a monster that not only= destroys your laundry, but your marriage as well. Always think of your was= hing machine as a blue chip investment in love. Yours for Secrets of Love Warwick Marsh PS Next week I will share with you some more love secrets as we explore The= Three Laws of Fathering. Secondly: we need your good ideas. Craig Murray got the ball rolling with h= is simple but brilliant idea, 'Fridge List with a Difference'. We definitel= y need more ideas. Please send them in, and while you're thinking about goo= d ideas why not help us help Australia by entering the Dads4Kids Competitio= n www.dads4kids.org.au and win some money for your family at the same= time. Thirdly: Our Help the Children Appeal is continuing until 31st October 2008= . Give at: http://www.ourcommunity.com.au/fatherhoodfoundation ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ran= ging in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himsel= f. Laughter [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/445.jpg?a=3D1= 102277300759] An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?' 'I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in s= uch good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the= fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.' 'Well,' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more t= o it. How old was your Dad when he died?' 'Who said my Dad's dead?' The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still al= ive. How old is he?' 'He's 100 years old,' says the Old Italian golfer. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the beach for= a walk and had a little vino and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian and he's a golfer, too' 'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it tha= n that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?' 'Who said my grandpa's dead?' Stunned, the doctor asks, 'You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?' 'He's 118 years old,' says the Old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfin= g with you this morning too?' 'No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.' At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why would a 118 year old guy want to get married?' 'Who said he wanted to?' Grandfathers [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/447.jpg?a=3D1= 102277300759] There are fathers who do not love their children, there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson. Victor Hugo Single Dads The 'Not so Secret' Secret By Tony Miller[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img= /448.jpg?a=3D1102277300759] Recently I was asked by the Rev. the Hon. Dr Gordon Moyes AC MLC to come a= nd speak in the State Parliament of NSW at Christian Focus on Society. I sp= oke about what dids is about and of the thousands of walking wounded amongs= t our population who are going through the trauma of divorce or separation = and how they are trying to deal with their pain. As I was about to leave Parliament House I was tapped on the shoulder by a = man who apparently attended and heard my speech. He asked if we could talk = a bit as he was feeling pretty low and after hearing my speech he thought I= may be able to offer him some help. As we were standing next to some beaut= iful leather lounges that they have in the reception area of Parliament Hou= se, I suggested we sit and talk. "My life is over," he said softly. "I am just over the pain of it all, I me= an here I am 55 years old and I feel like I'm 70," he lamented. "I went thr= ough my divorce nearly ten years ago and you would think I would be over it= but it still seems to drag me down. I have lost all my self confidence, I = seem to live with constant self-doubt. I have been involved in a few relati= onships since the divorce but they always end, because anyone I meet soon g= ets sick of me and my depressive state. I don't know what to do anymore and= I live with the constant thought of ending it all." As I sat there listening to him, I caught a teardrop in the corner of his e= ye. Obviously this man was broken, his shoulders were slumped over, he was = well dressed and looked as though he was at his wits end. I could see that = the years of pain, difficulty and struggle had worn him down and were etche= d all over his face. I felt deeply saddened and humbled by this man because= of his sincerity and in him wanting me to help. After all who am I? We sat there talking for a fair time and I got to know more about him. He w= as once a sales manager for a pharmaceutical company. He apparently once su= pervised a lot of underlings. He was a bit of a high flyer. Made a lot of m= oney, travelled and lived very well. Then his marriage to his child hood sw= eetheart fell apart. So did he. "It wasn't his fault or hers," he said, "Sh= e just simply fell out of love with me," he told me as he was staring at th= e floor. Soon after the marriage breakdown, he walked away from his job bec= ause he could no longer cope and has been going downhill ever since. I was curios so asked, "Were there any children?" He looked straight at me = and blankly said "Yes, but I haven't seen them for years, I guess they are = also sick of me." He then started to weep and then suddenly blurted out " M= y eldest hung himself a year after we split up. He was 15." Ouch! I wasn't = expecting that. He sat there silently wiping the tears from his eyes. "Well= , Mr Miller is there anything you can do for me," he pleaded I sat there thinking about what had been said and what hadn't. "Do you blam= e yourself for your son's death?" I asked. Still staring at the floor he sa= id "Well I didn't help it any." "That's not what I asked, do you blame your= self," I reiterated. "Yes, I guess so," he sighed. "I am sure so," I said "Have you had any counselling," I asked. "Yes, I reckon I've been to hundre= ds of them over the years and nothing helps," he replied. "Well have you sp= oken to the Big Fella," I asked. "The Big Fella, who's he?" he replied look= ing rather bemused." You heard me talking about him inside, you know, the B= oss, Upstairs, I gestured with my finger. "Ohhhh, I get you. Yes, yes, yes,= I pray all the time but it doesn't seem to help much," he said as he shrug= ged his shoulders. Then he continued, "The last thing I thought I would get= from you is a lecture on religion. You are not going to get all religious = on me are you?" he asked. "I am not going to lecture you on religion, believe me I am the last person= to give you a lecture on anything, but I will let you in on a tip, somethi= ng that got me through those terrible times and something that continues to= help me and millions of people around the world. "I stopped and looked him= square in the eye. "Yes, I'm all ears," he said. "Have you heard of "the S= ecret"? I asked softly. "The Secret, yeah, yeah, there's a book about it. I= haven't read it but I have heard about it." he said excitedly. "Yes, I sai= d, there is a book, a film and even a website www.thesecret.tv "Well = have a look, it is all about the law of attraction, what you think is what = you get, what you believe will happen will. It actually works and is scient= ifically proven. But you know what, I will let you in on another secret and= that is, what they are talking about really isn't a secret after all." "What do you mean?" he asked now all ears listening intently." It was writt= en in the bible thousands of years ago. Have you heard of this: "Therefore = I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you recei= ve them, and you will have them. Mark 11:24. Or "Again I say to you that if= two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be do= ne for them of My Father in heaven" Matthew 18:19. Now I didn't recite them= quite like I have written them here and I had no idea where they were in t= he bible, I had to look them up for this article to be honest, but I did gi= ve him the general directions, and told him to go find out for himself. I a= lso gave him some tips on prayer and I told him about this website and how = I had asked people to pray for my daughter who was in a coma and dying and = how miraculously she survived through what I believe was the power of praye= r and FAITH which is basically what they teach in "the secret" the law of a= ttraction, FAITH< BELIEF. "The bible is big on it, I said, no use asking if= you don't believe you will be given it. It's like ringing up and ordering = a pizza to be delivered, you don't ring them if you believe they won't deli= ver it! Prayer is the same. You may not get exactly what you ask for but y= ou will get something close. Something you were meant to get." Come to thin= k of it, ordering that Pizza is pretty similar isn't it. I told him it's no use praying small if he has a big problem. Big problem's= need big prayers, so don't be frightened to go hard and also to ask friend= s to throw a line to the Big Fella as well. "The more noise going upstairs = about your problem the better," I said "Now it doesn't work on everything," I told him. I've been praying to win t= he lotto for years but to be honest I lent over and whispered in his ear, "= I don't think the Big Fella is a gambler." "But you never know, so I keep a= sking anyway, I smiled. I could sure do with that lotto. Well to cut a long story short we talked some more and as it turned out, ye= s, he had been blaming himself for his son's death and for a whole range of= things. And to be honest he had done a pretty good job whipping himself fo= r years. We parted company with me giving him my card and him promising to = go talk to the Big Fella and also attend a dids group to see if he could sh= are some of the load that he had been carrying on his back for all those ye= ars. That's what we do in dids groups, share the load. You won't get a lect= ure on religion, but you will meet a bunch of blokes who care and who will = listen. He rang me the other day "Remember me, remember me, the bloke from Parliam= ent House!" he exclaimed. "Yes Mr Rudd," I said tongue in cheek. He laughed= and just in that fact I knew this bloke had experienced some kind of revel= ation. He boomed down the phone loud and clear. He was pumping! He told me = he had taken my advice and gone to a dids meeting, "WOW!" he exclaimed, I w= ished I had done that years ago, I feel like a new man." And he sounded lik= e it too. It was hard to believe this was the same pitiful character I had = spoken to at Parliament House only a few weeks ago. "And you know what, I d= id as you said and talked to the Big Fella!" he said gleefully. "What did h= e say?" I inquired with a laugh and away he went telling me all about his n= ew found lease on life, the dids meetings and his focus now on prayer and t= alking to the Big Fella. He harangued me for a least an hour and in the end= I had to say goodbye but added with a laugh, "You are not going to get all= religious on me are you?" "Of course not," he laughed and as he hung up, h= is last words were "Thanks mate". The secret of making something work in your lives is first of all, the deep= desire to make it work: then the faith and belief that it can work: then h= old that clear definite vision in your consciousness and see it working out= step by step, without one thought of doubt or disbelief. Eileen Caddy The thing always happens that you really believe in; and in the belief in a= thing makes it happen. Frank Lloyd Wright 1869 Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fac= t. William James 1842 Whether you believe you can do a thing or believe you can't, you are right.= Henry Ford 1863 Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief is deny= ing them. Ralph Waldo Emerson 1803 I know I am going to win the lotto, I just know I am. Tony Miller 2008 Tony Miller Director/Founder Dads In Distress Inc. PO Box J395 Coffs Harbour Jetty NSW 2450 Ph: 1300 853 437 www.dadsindistress.asn.au All You Need is Love The Secrets of Happily Married Men Scott Haltzman MD [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/449.jpg?a=3D= 1102277300759] In his book, "The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wi= fe's Heart Forever," Haltzman offers practical advice for men to improve th= eir relationships. He tells them that they have to understand that men and = women are different and take that in account when communicating. Men tend t= o be "action-oriented," while women "tend to respond to emotionally based c= onversation," he said. Below is an except from the book: Chapter One I jumped into the cab, hoping to catch a quick ride from one side of Rhode = Island to the other. During the thirty-minute trip, I fell into an easy conversation with the ca= bbie and soon learned that he was typical of so many men I know -- great at= managing and negotiating the complexities of life in general, but insecure= and frustrated in his marriage. At first he told me, with great pride, about his car. He planned to replace= the horns because of water build up. He talked about needing to get the tr= ansmission rebuilt and how he was able to strike a good deal. Did you know = he paid $1,500 for the job on a Buick that had almost 300,000 thousand mile= s on it?! Soon, the banter shifted to family (probably because I can't help= asking people, "So, are you married?"). My cab driver told me that he had = two sons and that he had been married for twenty years. Losing the bravado = of our earlier conversation, he quietly admitted that he'd been separated f= rom his wife for the last two years. "My wife and I just can't agree on the right way to raise the kids," he sai= d with a sigh that gave away his frustration and resignation. "I didn't want to separate, because I think it's the coward's way out," he = was quick to add. "But I just couldn't figure out how to make things better= ." Usually, as a psychiatrist, I'm the one with the meter running. But during = this impromptu session, I was paying for his time, and before we arrived on= the other side of Rhode Island, I had something important to say to this m= an. Here's the short version: You're a creative man who has a marvelous kna= ck for fixing things. If something's not working in your car, you figure ou= t a way to fix it. If you can't, you find someone who can. You've stuck wit= h your car when most owners would have sent it to the trash heap. You have = a real sense of commitment and a knack for getting things to work. What mak= es you think you can't use those same wonderful qualities to save your marr= iage? When my trip was over ($60!) and my little speech done, my driver look star= tled, but also relieved, as he said, "No one's ever told me that before, Do= c. Thanks." Secrets of Married Men is the site whe= re men and women come together to learn about what husbands can do to make = marriage great, and teach other men how to do it. It's a place for men to s= hare their successes, their pains, and their advice. It's a site where you = can help learn about the meaning of marriage, and the positive male attribu= tes you bring to your relationship. How can a man achieve a long and happy marriage? If you've been checking ou= t relationship advice columns or seeking the help of a therapist, you may h= ave been looking in the wrong place. Despite all the advances in brain technology, and all of that we have learn= ed about developmental psychology-- men and women are given the same advice= about solving problems: talk together, get in touch with your feelings, an= d talk some more. But when I ask men about what works for them, I hear a di= fferent story. This website is about their story. About how men use their natural born fix= -it skills, their inborn desire to protect and care for their families, and= their passion for their wives as the driving force behind saving their mar= riage. WHAT ARE THE SECRETS The first secret is the one that men don't tell each other. Men who have le= arned how to be happy in their marriage frequently report that they do it o= n their own...through trial and error. They've needed to apply the skills t= hat make them successful in other walks of life. Secrets of Married Men is = a way, at last, for them to share their secrets. Men also keep secrets from their wives. Can that work in the face of modern= marital advice that says: the only road to happiness is to be completely o= pen and honest? Happily married men have learned that there's a time to spe= ak your mind, and there's a time to listen. Sometimes good listening means = pushing back your own needs, dreams and desires. Many men have said they us= e a strategy never seen in the advice columns: Learn how to listen, and kno= w when not to talk. Men don't always solve problems the same way as women. Men can apply the sa= me commitment and devotion to their marriage as they do other aspects of th= eir lives (work or sports, for instance). When they take the positive appro= ach, they are able to formulate a plan to meet their goals, and they enjoy = richer and better marriages. More information at: http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com Special Feature Mom and Pop go over the top William J Doherty, Minneapolis Star Tribune October 3, 2008 [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/450.jpg?a=3D= 1102277300759] In the last election, politicians sought the votes of soccer moms. This tim= e we have a hockey mom running for vice president -- a self-described "pit = bull" hockey mom. It isn't just mothers who are judged by this new standard= of sports-obsessed parent. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Scalia recently w= as forced to admit to a "60 Minutes" television audience that his judicial = responsibilities took him away from his children's games. (His wife picked = up the slack.) And it isn't just Republicans who are talking about this issue: When Al Gore was running for president, he stressed that he always p= ut his kids' sports games in his schedule book "in ink." When did the character of public officials depend on being boosters at chil= d athletic events? Until the 1980s, young children mostly played in the nei= ghborhood, free of adult observation and coaching. Older kids taught younge= r ones how to play an endless variety of games. Parents in most neighborhoo= ds were content to have their children out of sight and enjoying themselves= . When I was growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, our parents did not spoil o= ur fun by watching us play sports. Organized, highly competitive sports did= not kick in until adolescence and high school varsity teams. The 1980s brought the widespread trends of big-time youth sports and the pa= rental responsibility to cheer from the sidelines at every game (and as man= y practices as one could make). This was fueled by the unprecedented stardo= m of prepubertal Olympians like Nadia Comaneci and the pervasive media pres= ence of multimillionaire celebrity athletes like Michael Jordan. In more re= cent years we have the Tiger Woods phenomenon of professional athletes who = started their careers almost in diapers. Nowadays many young children speci= alize in a single, intense sport to the exclusion of all others, at the ris= k of injury and burnout during adolescence. The mark of a good parent in today's world is personal chauffeuring rather = than group carpooling, cheering loudly from the sidelines at all games, adv= ocating with coaches for their child's playing time, and backing away from = any activity (such as family dinners and PTA meetings) that conflicts with = year-round sports schedules that rival those of professional athletes. The top-rated parents become agents for their children's sports careers; av= erage parents just try to keep their balance in a world that rewards excess= . This is all part of a larger trend toward what psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld= has termed "hyper-parenting" and what others have labeled "helicopter pare= nting." Fed by understandable anxiety about success in a competitive world,= middle-class parents spare no time or expense in enhancing their child's d= evelopmental edge, beginning with in utero sound waves and then with Baby E= instein products. "Black Hawk parents" (or now "pit bull parents") criticiz= e slackers on their child's team, attack coaches for depriving Jason or Sam= antha of their rightful playing time and aggressively go after the opponent= s -- the young children on the other team. Ridiculing a highly paid profess= ional athlete is a privilege that comes with the price of the ticket, but t= rying to unnerve a 9-year-old pitcher or goalie -- that's what pit bull par= ents do to show their devotion to their offspring. A few even assault other= parents, referees or coaches. It's ironic that parents who would never miss an athletic event often overl= ook what research and common sense attest are the most important activities= that parents do with their children, things like having meals with them an= d quietly reading to them. One national study found that young children's a= cademic success and psychological well-being were far more strongly influen= ced by time spent eating meals with parents than by time spent doing anythi= ng else, including extracurricular activities. I hope that politicians star= t boasting about eating with their children or turning off the TV in order = to have family conversations. Anything except parenting by excess. Maybe the change has already begun. Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak and his wi= fe, Megan O'Hara, have talked publicly about having as many family dinners = as they can. Barack and Michelle Obama recently did a public service by tel= ling People magazine that they hold back on birthday presents because their= kids get more than enough from relatives and friends. Even more important,= grass-roots organizations of citizen parents launched first by Minnesotans= are calling for more balance between family life and youth sports. Politicians play on cultural common sense. The rest of us create it. William J. Doherty is a professor of family social science and director of = the Families and Democracy Project at the University of Minnesota. News & Info DADS4KIDS COMPETITION[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/110193834= 5415/img/404.jpg?a=3D1102277300759] Fatherhood Foundation is asking Australians to help Dads4Kids with their id= eas on how to solve the problems that Australian children face. Dads4Kids i= s an initiative of the Fatherhood Foundation which is a harm prevention cha= rity. Find out more information or enter the Dads4Kids Competition. View Community Service Announcements at: http://www.dads4kids.org.au/Media ___________________________________________________________________ Dads & Kids @ Play Each month we invite dads and their Kids to join us for some fun and games = just for them. Next event is 21st October 2008 @ Flinders Child & Family Ce= ntre, Adam Murray Way, Flinders (Shellharbour) Puppet Show and guest speaker - Michael Jazbec Time 5pm - 7pm Phone Jenny on 4297 6138 or SMS to 0410082638 __________________________________________________________________ Dad's Prayer [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/110193834541= 5/img/451.jpg?a=3D1102277300759] Dear God Help me accept the challenges of jitterbugging washing machines that get so out of control that they destroy the laundry and love all at the same time. Help me invest in love by rejecting apathy and accepting responsibility. Help me never knock back the reward of a happy family. Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in f= athering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, pr= otective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and thei= r children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax = Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. Forward email [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/safe_unsubscribe_logo.gif] This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org. Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(tm) | Pri= vacy Policy. Email Marketing= by [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/cc-logo-color-sm.gif] Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia --_000_1102277300759110193834541512118103183002scheduler_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
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3D"FF
=09
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13th October 2008  &nb= sp;    Inspiring Fathers Enco= uraging Families Issue 321
=09 =09 =09
Love Secrets
Dear Brian,

Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email inform= ation service for fathers and families as we present Love Se= crets

=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Love Secrets
Laughter.. The Secret
Grandfathers...Loving Children
Single Dads...Not So Secret
All You Need is Love..Secrets of Happy Marriage
Special Feature...Over the Top
News & Info..Dads4Kids
Dad's Prayer..Washing Machine Jitterbug
Next Week&nb= sp;
 The = Three Laws of Fathering
 =09 =09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09
Quick Links
 Thought of the Week
  
 3D"WinstonCourage is going from failure to failure
without losing e= nthusiasm . . .
Success is not final,
failure is not fatal:
= it is the courage to continue that counts.
 
Winston Churchi= ll
Link of the Week

 Hard Working Washing Machine

<= table style=3D"margin-bottom:6px;" id=3D"content_LETTER.BLOCK11" width=3D"1= 00%" border=3D"0" hidefocus=3D"true" tabindex=3D"0" cellspacing=3D"0" cols= =3D"0" cellpadding=3D"5" contenteditable=3D"inherit" datapagesize=3D"0">
Frontline
  
Love = Secrets are wonderful but can be very hard to carry out. Good inte= ntions often fail. The best laid plans of mice and men. . . This week I fai= led to carry out my well-intentioned plans.
 
However failur= e hasn't stopped me. Winston Churchill's famous speech has inspired me:
 
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing = enthusiasm . . . Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the cour= age to continue that counts."
 
My Love Secret this wee= k is:
 
A man must always remember that the wash= ing machine is king.
 
We forget this at our o= wn peril. Our washing machine died 2 weeks ago. It had had its fair share o= f repairs but after 1 million loads with a family of 5 children, four of wh= om are boys, it had finally given up the ghost.
 
As an expe= rienced family man, and occupying the grand position of CEO of the Fatherho= od Foundation, you would think I would remember my own mantra, "The Washing= Machine is King". Please notice that I didn't say 'Queen'. Every woman the= se days, often holding down either a full time or part time job as well as = being a busy mum and running a household, knows that a good, reliable washi= ng machine is a woman's best friend. But her husband need to recognize the = importance and ensure success of the washing machine.
 
Befo= re our washing machine died, it used to get out of balance and jitterbug al= l over the laundry like an out-of-control Darlek chanting its electronic dr= one: 'destroy, destroy, destroy . .' Any father that could let this happen = without his early intervention is out of his mind. I certainly was. I shoul= d have known better. I should have learnt from experience.
 
Many years ago when my 5 children were at their zenith of producing dirty = clothes I bought a 'cheap, second-hand washing machine' on the premise that= I was saving money. Within days I had to call a repairman and was just abo= ut to call Marriage Savers Anonymous after the third flooding of the laundr= y, with dirty washing and nappies everywhere.
 
I'm convince= d that a good father must do one thing well - that is take responsibility f= or a well-functioning washing machine. It is one of the few household appli= ances worth going into debt for. Buying a washing machine is an investment = in love.
 
The good news is that I learned my lesson after s= everal trips to the laundromat plus a heightening of tension in the home. 
Yes, we live in a consumer society which I often criticize,= but some items in our modern homes don't seem to be optional extras. One o= f those items is a good reliable washing machine. Often, as men, we think o= f the washing machine as a non-core asset but for busy mums it is an absolu= te necessity. My wife promptly gave me instructions on how to operate it so= unfortunately I can no longer claim ignorance. It looks like I will have t= o do more washing, contrary to what my male ego would dictate.
 <= br />Best of all, my wife is happy. When my wife is happy, my children are = happy. When my wife and children are happy we have a happy family. Funny ab= out that isn't it?
 
Lovework
 Be careful that your washing machine doesn't become a monster that not = only destroys your laundry, but your marriage as well. Always think of your= washing machine as a blue chip investment in love.
 
Yours= for Secrets of Love
Warwick Marsh
 
PS Next week I wil= l share with you some more love secrets as we explore The Three Laws of Fat= hering.
 
Secondly: we need your good ideas. Craig Murray go= t the ball rolling with his simple but brilliant idea, 'Fridge List with a = Difference'. We definitely need more ideas. Please send them in, and while = you're thinking about good ideas why not help us help Australia by entering= the Dads4Kids Competition www.dads4kids.= org.au  and win some money for your family at the same time.
=  
Thirdly: Our Help the Children Appeal is continuing until 31st = October 2008. Give at: http://www.ourcommunity.com.au/fatherhoodfoundation =  

_________________________________________________________= ___________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Al= ison for 32 years. He is the grandfather of two children and father of= five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 27 years to&nbs= p;15 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public sp= eaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.
<= /font>
Laughter
=
3D"Ugly 
 
An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a ch= eck-up.

The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy= is in and asks,

'How do you stay in such great physical conditi= on?'

'I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and tha= t's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing= up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.'
<= br />'Well,' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be m= ore to it. How old was your Dad when he died?'

'Who said my Dad'= s dead?'

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and= your Dad's still alive. How old is he?'

'He's 100 years old,' s= ays the Old Italian golfer.

'In fact he golfed with me this morn= ing, and then we went to the  beach for a walk and had a little vino a= nd that's why he's still alive.

He's Italian and he's a golfer,= too'

'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there= 's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he d= ied?'

'Who said my grandpa's dead?'

Stunned, the doct= or asks,

'You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's st= ill living!

Incredible, how old is he?'

'He's 118 yea= rs old,' says the Old Italian golfer.

The doctor is getting frus= trated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning to= o?'

'No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting m= arried today.'

At this point the doctor is close to losing it.
'Getting married!! Why would a 118 year old guy want to get marri= ed?'

'Who said he wanted to?'
Grandfathers
3D"Grandfather
There are fathers who do not love their children,
there is no grandfather
who does not adore his grandson.
 =
Victor Hugo
Single Dads
The 'Not so Secret' Secret<= br /> 
By Tony Miller
 
 Recently I was asked by the Rev. the Hon= . Dr Gordon Moyes AC MLC to come and speak in the State Parliament of NSW a= t Christian Focus on Society. I spoke about what dids is about and of the t= housands of walking wounded amongst our population who are going through th= e trauma of divorce or separation and how they are trying to deal with thei= r pain.
          &n= bsp;     
As I was about to leave = Parliament House I was tapped on the shoulder by a man who apparently atten= ded and heard my speech. He asked if we could talk a bit as he was feeling = pretty low and after hearing my speech he thought I may be able to off= er him some help. As we were standing next to some beautiful leather l= ounges that they have in the reception area of Parliament House, I suggeste= d we sit and talk.
 
"My life is over," he said softly. "I a= m just over the pain of it all, I mean here I am 55 years old and I fe= el like I'm 70," he lamented. "I went through my divorce nearly ten years a= go and you would think I would be over it but it still seems to drag me dow= n. I have lost all my self confidence, I seem to live with constant self-do= ubt. I have been involved in a few relationships since the divorce but they= always end, because anyone I meet soon gets sick of me and my depressive s= tate. I don't know what to do anymore and I live with the constant thought = of ending it all."
 
As I sat there listening to him, I= caught a teardrop in the corner of his eye. Obviously this man was broken,= his shoulders were slumped over, he was well dressed and looked as th= ough he was at his wits end. I could see that the years of pain, difficulty= and struggle had worn him down and were etched all over his face. I felt d= eeply saddened and humbled by this man because of his sincerity and in= him wanting me to help. After all who am I?
 
We sat there = talking for a fair time and I got to know more about him. He was once a sal= es manager for a pharmaceutical company. He apparently once supervised a lo= t of underlings. He was a bit of a high flyer. Made a lot of money, travell= ed and lived very well. Then his marriage to his child hood sweetheart= fell apart. So did he. "It wasn't his fault or hers," he said, "She just s= imply fell out of love with me," he told me as he was staring at the floor.= Soon after the marriage breakdown, he walked away from his job because he = could no longer cope and has been going downhill ever since.
 I was curios so asked, "Were there any children?" He looked straight at = me and blankly said "Yes, but I haven't seen them for years, I guess they a= re also sick of me." He then started to weep and then suddenly blurted out = " My eldest hung himself a year after we split up. He was 15." Ouch! I wasn= 't expecting that. He sat there silently wiping the tears from his eyes. "W= ell, Mr Miller is there anything you can do for me," he pleaded
 =
I sat there thinking about what had been said and what hadn't. "Do yo= u blame yourself for your son's death?" I asked. Still staring at the floor= he said "Well I didn't help it any." "That's not what I asked, do you blam= e yourself," I reiterated. "Yes, I guess so," he sighed. "I am sure so," I = said
"Have you had any counselling," I asked. "Yes, I reckon I've been= to hundreds of them over the years and nothing helps," he replied. "Well h= ave you spoken to the Big Fella," I asked. "The Big Fella, who's he?" he re= plied looking rather bemused." You heard me talking about him inside, you k= now, the Boss, Upstairs, I gestured with my finger. "Ohhhh, I get you. Yes,= yes, yes, I pray all the time but it doesn't seem to help much," he s= aid as he shrugged his shoulders. Then he continued, "The last thing I thou= ght I would get from you is a lecture on religion. You are not going to get= all religious on me are you?" he asked.
 
"I am not going t= o lecture you on religion, believe me I am the last person to give you a le= cture on anything, but I will let you in on a tip, something that got me th= rough those terrible times and something that continues to help me and mill= ions of people around the world. "I stopped and looked him square in the ey= e. "Yes, I'm all ears," he said. "Have you heard of "the Secret"? I asked s= oftly. "The Secret, yeah, yeah, there's a book about it. I haven't read it = but I have heard about it." he said excitedly. "Yes, I said, there is a boo= k, a film and even a website www.thesecret.tv &nbs= p;"Well have a look, it is all about the law of attraction, what you think = is what you get, what you believe will happen will. It actually works and i= s scientifically proven. But you know what, I will let you in on anoth= er secret and that is, what they are talking about really isn't a secret af= ter all."
 
"What do you mean?" he asked now all ears listen= ing intently." It was written in the bible thousands of years ago. Hav= e you heard of this: "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask = when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. Mark = 11:24. Or "Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning = anything that they ask, it will be done for them of My Father in heaven" Ma= tthew 18:19. Now I didn't recite them quite like I have written them h= ere and I had no idea where they were in the bible, I had to look them= up for this article to be honest, but I did give him the general direction= s, and told him to go find out for himself. I also gave him some tips on pr= ayer and I told him about this website and how I had asked people to pray f= or my daughter who was in a coma and dying and how miraculously she survive= d through what I believe was the power of prayer and FAITH which is basical= ly what they teach in "the secret" the law of attraction, FAITH< BELIEF.=  "The bible is big on it, I said, no use asking if you don't beli= eve you will be given it. It's like ringing up and ordering a pizza to be d= elivered, you don't ring them if you believe they won't deliver&n= bsp;it!  Prayer is the same. You may not get exactly what you ask for = but you will get something close. Something you were meant to get." Come to= think of it, ordering that Pizza is pretty similar isn't it.
 I told him it's no use praying small if he has a big problem. Big probl= em's need big prayers, so don't be frightened to go hard and also to ask fr= iends to throw a line to the Big Fella as well. "The more noise going upsta= irs about your problem the better," I said
 
"Now it doesn't= work on everything," I told him. I've been praying to win the lotto for ye= ars but to be honest I lent over and whispered in his ear, "I don't think t= he Big Fella is a gambler." "But you never know, so I keep asking anyway, I= smiled. I could sure do with that lotto.
 
Well to cut a lo= ng story short we talked some more and as it turned out, yes, he had been b= laming himself for his son's death and for a whole range of things. And to = be honest he had done a pretty good job whipping himself for years. We part= ed company with me giving him my card and him promising to go talk to the B= ig Fella and also attend a dids group to see if he could share some of the = load that he had been carrying on his back for all those years. That's what= we do in dids groups, share the load. You won't get a lecture on religion,= but you will meet a bunch of blokes who care and who will listen.
&nb= sp;
 He rang me the other day "Remember me, remember me, the blok= e from Parliament House!" he exclaimed. "Yes Mr Rudd," I said tongue in che= ek. He laughed and just in that fact I knew this bloke had experi= enced some kind of revelation. He boomed down the phone loud and clear= . He was pumping! He told me he had taken my advice and gone to a dids meet= ing, "WOW!" he exclaimed, I wished I had done that years ago, I feel like a= new man." And he sounded like it too. It was hard to believe this was the = same pitiful character I had spoken to at Parliament House only a few weeks= ago. "And you know what, I did as you said and talked to the Big Fella!" h= e said gleefully. "What did he say?" I inquired with a laugh and away he we= nt telling me all about his new found lease on life, the dids meetings and = his focus now on prayer and talking to the Big Fella. He harangued me for a= least an hour and in the end I had to say goodbye but added with a laugh, = "You are not going to get all religious on me are you?" "Of course not," he= laughed and as he hung up, his last words were "Thanks mate".
 <= br />The secret of making something work in your lives is first of all, the= deep desire to make it work: then the faith and belief that it can work: t= hen hold that clear definite vision in your consciousness and see it workin= g out step by step, without one thought of doubt or disbelief. Eileen Caddy=
 
The thing always happens that you really believe in; and = in the belief in a thing makes it happen. Frank Lloyd Wright 1869
&nbs= p;
Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create= the fact. William James 1842
 
Whether you believe you can = do a thing or believe you can't, you are right. Henry Ford 1863
 =
Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief i= s denying them. Ralph Waldo Emerson 1803
 
I know I am going= to win the lotto, I just know I am. Tony Miller 2008   &nbs= p;     
 
Tony Miller
Director= /Founder
Dads In Distress Inc.
PO Box J395
Coffs Harbour Jet= ty
NSW 2450
Ph: 1300 853 437
www.dadsindistress.asn.au<= /div>
All You Nee= d is Love
The Secrets of Happily Married Men
Scott H= altzman MD
 3D"Tattoo
In his book, "The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win = Your Wife's Heart Forever," Haltzman offers practical advice for men to imp= rove their relationships. He tells them that they have to understand that m= en and women are different and take that in account when communicating. Men= tend to be "action-oriented," while women "tend to respond to emotionally = based conversation," he said.
 
Below is an except from the= book:
 
Chapter One
 
I ju= mped into the cab, hoping to catch a quick ride from one side of Rhode Isla= nd to the other.
 
During the thirty-minute trip, I fell in= to an easy conversation with the cabbie and soon learned that he was typica= l of so many men I know -- great at managing and negotiating the complexiti= es of life in general, but insecure and frustrated in his marriage.
&= nbsp;
At first he told me, with great pride, about his car. He planned= to replace the horns because of water build up. He talked about needing to= get the transmission rebuilt and how he was able to strike a good deal. Di= d you know he paid $1,500 for the job on a Buick that had almost 300,000 th= ousand miles on it?! Soon, the banter shifted to family (probably because I= can't help asking people, "So, are you married?"). My cab driver told me t= hat he had two sons and that he had been married for twenty years. Losing t= he bravado of our earlier conversation, he quietly admitted that he'd been = separated from his wife for the last two years.
 
"My wife = and I just can't agree on the right way to raise the kids," he said with a = sigh that gave away his frustration and resignation.
 
"I d= idn't want to separate, because I think it's the coward's way out," he was = quick to add. "But I just couldn't figure out how to make things better." <= br /> 
Usually, as a psychiatrist, I'm the one with the meter run= ning. But during this impromptu session, I was paying for his time, and bef= ore we arrived on the other side of Rhode Island, I had something important= to say to this man. Here's the short version: You're a creative man who ha= s a marvelous knack for fixing things. If something's not working in your c= ar, you figure out a way to fix it. If you can't, you find someone who can.= You've stuck with your car when most owners would have sent it to the tras= h heap. You have a real sense of commitment and a knack for getting things = to work. What makes you think you can't use those same wonderful qualities = to save your marriage?
 
When my trip was over ($60!) and m= y little speech done, my driver look startled, but also relieved, as he sai= d, "No one's ever told me that before, Doc. Thanks." 
 
 
Secrets of Married Men is the site w= here men and women come together to learn about what husbands can do to mak= e marriage great, and teach other men how to do it. It's a place for men to= share their successes, their pains, and their advice. It's a site where yo= u can help learn about the meaning of marriage, and the positive male attri= butes you bring to your relationship.
How can a man achieve a long and= happy marriage? If you've been checking out relationship advice columns or= seeking the help of a therapist, you may have been looking in the wrong pl= ace.
 
Despite all the advances in brain technology, and al= l of that we have learned about developmental psychology-- men and women ar= e given the same advice about solving problems: talk together, get in touch= with your feelings, and talk some more. But when I ask men about what work= s for them, I hear a different story.
 
This website is abou= t their story. About how men use their natural born fix-it skills, their in= born desire to protect and care for their families, and their passion for t= heir wives as the driving force behind saving their marriage.
 WHAT ARE THE SECRETS

The first secret is the one that men do= n't tell each other. Men who have learned how to be happy in their marriage= frequently report that they do it on their own...through trial and error. = They've needed to apply the skills that make them successful in other walks= of life. Secrets of Married Men is a way, at last, for them to share their= secrets.

Men also keep secrets from their wives. Can that work = in the face of modern marital advice that says: the only road to happiness = is to be completely open and honest? Happily married men have learned that = there's a time to speak your mind, and there's a time to listen. Sometimes = good listening means pushing back your own needs, dreams and desires. Many = men have said they use a strategy never seen in the advice columns: Learn h= ow to listen, and know when not to talk.
 
Men don't always = solve problems the same way as women. Men can apply the same commitment and= devotion to their marriage as they do other aspects of their lives (work o= r sports, for instance). When they take the positive approach, they are abl= e to formulate a plan to meet their goals, and they enjoy richer and better= marriages.
 
More information at:
http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com
 

=09

Special Feature

 
 
Mom and Pop go over the top

William J Doherty, Minneapolis Star Tribune Octobe= r 3, 2008 
 3D"Sarah
In the last election, politicians sought the votes of soccer moms= . This time we have a hockey mom running for vice president -- a self-descr= ibed "pit bull" hockey mom. It isn't just mothers who are judged by this ne= w standard of sports-obsessed parent. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Scalia = recently was forced to admit to a "60 Minutes" television audience that his= judicial responsibilities took him away from his children's games. (His wi= fe picked up the slack.) And it isn't just Republicans who are talking abou= t this
issue: When Al Gore was running for president, he stressed that= he always put his kids' sports games in his schedule book "in ink."
&= nbsp;
When did the character of public officials depend on being boost= ers at child athletic events? Until the 1980s, young children mostly played= in the neighborhood, free of adult observation and coaching. Older kids ta= ught younger ones how to play an endless variety of games. Parents in most = neighborhoods were content to have their children out of sight and enjoying= themselves. When I was growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, our parents did = not spoil our fun by watching us play sports. Organized, highly competitive= sports did not kick in until adolescence and high school varsity teams. 
The 1980s brought the widespread trends of big-time youth sp= orts and the parental responsibility to cheer from the sidelines at every g= ame (and as many practices as one could make). This was fueled by the unpre= cedented stardom of prepubertal Olympians like Nadia Comaneci and the perva= sive media presence of multimillionaire celebrity athletes like Michael Jor= dan. In more recent years we have the Tiger Woods phenomenon of professiona= l athletes who started their careers almost in diapers. Nowadays many young= children specialize in a single, intense sport to the exclusion of all oth= ers, at the risk of injury and burnout during adolescence.
 
The mark of a good parent in today's world is personal chauffeuring rather= than group carpooling, cheering loudly from the sidelines at all games, ad= vocating with coaches for their child's playing time, and backing away from= any activity (such as family dinners and PTA meetings) that conflicts with= year-round sports schedules that rival those of professional athletes.
The top-rated parents become agents for their children's sports careers; = average parents just try to keep their balance in a world that rewards exce= ss.
 
This is all part of a larger trend toward what psychia= trist Alvin Rosenfeld has termed "hyper-parenting" and what others have lab= eled "helicopter parenting." Fed by understandable anxiety about success in= a competitive world, middle-class parents spare no time or expense in enha= ncing their child's developmental edge, beginning with in utero sound waves= and then with Baby Einstein products. "Black Hawk parents" (or now "pit bu= ll parents") criticize slackers on their child's team, attack coaches for d= epriving Jason or Samantha of their rightful playing time and aggressively = go after the opponents -- the young children on the other team. Ridiculing = a highly paid professional athlete is a privilege that comes with the price= of the ticket, but trying to unnerve a 9-year-old pitcher or goalie -- tha= t's what pit bull parents do to show their devotion to their offspring. A f= ew even assault other parents, referees or coaches.
 
It's i= ronic that parents who would never miss an athletic event often overlook wh= at research and common sense attest are the most important activities that = parents do with their children, things like having meals with them and quie= tly reading to them. One national study found that young children's academi= c success and psychological well-being were far more strongly influenced by= time spent eating meals with parents than by time spent doing anything els= e, including extracurricular activities. I hope that politicians start boas= ting about eating with their children or turning off the TV in order to hav= e family conversations. Anything except parenting by excess.
 Maybe the change has already begun. Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak and his= wife, Megan O'Hara, have talked publicly about having as many family dinne= rs as they can. Barack and Michelle Obama recently did a public service by = telling People magazine that they hold back on birthday presents because th= eir kids get more than enough from relatives and friends. Even more importa= nt, grass-roots organizations of citizen parents launched first by Minnesot= ans are calling for more balance between family life and youth sports.
 
Politicians play on cultural common sense. The rest of us crea= te it.
 
William J. Doherty is a professor of family social = science and director of the Families and Democracy Project at the Universit= y of Minnesota.

News & Info
=
 
 
  
 DADS4KIDS COMPETITION3D"Matthew
 
Fatherhood Foundation is asking Australians to help Dads4Kids with the= ir ideas on how to solve the problems that Australian children face. Dads4K= ids is an initiative of the Fatherhood Foundation which is a harm preventio= n charity. Find out more information or enter the Dads4Kids Competition.&nb= sp;   
View Community Service Announcements at:
http://www.dads4kids.org.au/Media  =   

___________________________________________________________________
 
Dads & Kids @ Play
 
Each month we invite dads and their Kids to jo= in us for some fun and games just for them. Next event is 21st October 2008= @ Flinders Child & Family Centre, Adam Murray Way, Flinders (Shellharbour)=
Puppet Show and guest speaker - Michael Jazbec= =20
 
Time 5pm - 7pm
Phone Jenny on 4297 6138 or SMS to 0410082638 
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Dad's Prayer

           &nbs= p;       
           &nbs= p;       3D"Man
Dear God
 
Help me a= ccept the challenges
of jitterbugging washing machines
that get s= o out of control
that they destroy the laundry and love
all at th= e same time.
Help me invest in love
by rejecting apathy
and = accepting responsibility.
Help me never knock back
the reward of= a happy family.
         = ;        
=
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Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be = emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)

 Westpac Branch Wollongong      &nb= sp;            =   DONATE ONLINE

BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW&nbs= p; 2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

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3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by in= fo@fathersonline.org.
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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