Received: from evaki.its.uow.edu.au (130.130.68.32) by staffmail.uow.edu.au (10.5.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server id 8.1.291.1; Sun, 26 Oct 2008 09:47:39 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by evaki.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1Ktrv1-000276-1W for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 26 Oct 2008 09:47:39 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.10.2-GA) with ESMTP id PGH21095; Sun, 26 Oct 2008 09:47:34 +1100 (EST) Received: from p2-ws508.ad.prodcc.net (unknown [10.252.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 3E04F34E8DC9 for ; Sat, 25 Oct 2008 18:30:41 -0400 (EDT) From: Fatherhood Foundation To: Brian Lane Date: Sun, 26 Oct 2008 09:31:16 +1100 Subject: Father's Involvement - Higher IQ for Children Thread-Topic: Father's Involvement - Higher IQ for Children Thread-Index: Ack2867PB6j1O0UqQI2iAH3RZxIZ3Q== Message-ID: <1102292623763.1101938345415.1211.8.98183002@scheduler> List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8yk8K915UvAhVG4n-3GYe2HJw== Reply-To: "info@fathersonline.org" Accept-Language: en-AU, en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthAs: Anonymous X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthSource: excasht03.ad.uow.edu.au X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: x-junkmail-status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au x-junkmail-sd-raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A090201.4903A20A.010B:SCFMA772204,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2008-08-01 02:07:42, dmn=5.7.1/2008-09-02, mode=single engine x-junkmail-iwf: false x-return-path-hint: ESC1102292623763_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com x-roving-id: 1101938345415.1211 x-lumos-senderid: 1101938345415 x-roving-campaignid: 1102292623763 x-roving-streamid: 0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_110229262376311019383454151211898183002scheduler_" MIME-Version: 1.0 --_000_110229262376311019383454151211898183002scheduler_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/11.jpg?a=3D11= 02292623763] 27th October 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 323 [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/1101093164665/people3_header= 1.jpg] Father's Involvement Higher IQ for Children Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for fathers and families as we present Father's involvement - Higher IQ = for Children In This Issue Frontline...Father's IQ Laughter.. Thre Koalas Grandfathers...Future for our Youth Single Dads...Separated Fathers All You Need is Love..Protecting Love Special Feature...Father Involvement News & Info..Parents Links Dads4Kids Dad's Prayer..The Author of Intelligence Next Week Battle for the Family Join our Mailing List! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/ftf_btn_1.gif] Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation Dads in Distress Focus on the Family National Centre for Fathering Oz Family Life Dads Uni Men of Integrity Lifeline Equal Parenting party CSA Adverts Thought of the Week [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/468.gif?a=3D1= 102292623763]I owe almost everything to my father. Margaret Thatcher Prime Minister Great Britain 1979-1990 Link of the Week IQ Test Frontline [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/467.jpg?a=3D1= 102292623763] I saw the TEN show 'Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?' last night= . Although it has been running for about a year, I predict that in a few ye= ars time they will have to rename the show, 'Are you smarter than any child= with an involved father?' because a high dad involvement means a higher IQ= and a better life. The following short summary is written by Dr Ned Holstein, executive director of Fathers in Families in the USA, and can be fou= nd at the www.fathersandfamilies.org blog site which is jointly = operated in conjunction with Glen Sacks. "The new study, published in June 2008 looked at all= the children born in Britain in a single week in March, 1958. When the chi= ldren were eleven years old (1969), the mothers were asked, "How involved i= s the father in the management of the child?" In the same year, the childre= n took an IQ test. Finally, the researchers looked at the children's upward= social mobility at age 42 (year 2000). The researchers found some very interesting results: =B7 The fathers' involvement in 1969 was "equal to mother" in 62 percent= of the cases; =B7 Children with high father involvement had significantly higher IQs a= t age 11 than those with low father involvement; =B7 By age 42, children with high father involvement had shown substanti= ally more upward mobility than those with low father involvement; =B7 Fathers tended to be slightly more involved with sons than daughters= , but when they did engage equally with daughters, the positive effect was = just as great as for sons. It's interesting to see that so many of the fathers' involvement was "equal= to mothers" in 1969. The reigning myth is that fathers have become involv= ed with their children only recently. So often I hear, "Well, of course cus= tody used to go to mom, but now fathers are getting more involved with thei= r kids - it's just taking a little time for the law to catch up." Personally, I don't like hearing my father or his generation criticized whe= n I know how hard they worked for us. Keep this in mind the next time a tel= evision 'expert' tells you that fathers in past generations neglected their= kids. Keep this in mind when you watch Mad Men. The next time the judge tells you it's not in your child's best interest fo= r you to have more time with her, ask why a higher IQ and more upward mobil= ity is not in her best interest. And by the way, guys, don't neglect your daughters just because they are le= ss interested in throwing a football around. They need you as much as your = sons do." Dr Ned Holstein is absolutely right. Our sons and our daughters will benefi= t from our involvement. We give our children the best opportunity in life when we give them the bes= t of our time as they grow. Lovework Get to work! Get involved in your children's lives. You might just have the next Albert Einstein, Margaret Thatcher or Marilyn = Vos Savant under your roof. Yours for higher IQs Warwick Marsh PS This week is your last chance to match the Grosmount State School in the= ir financial contribution to the fathers of Australia. Thirteen (13) childr= en from a small school in drought affected outback Queensland raised $40 fo= r the Fatherhood Foundation. So far we have 5 people who have given a total= of $515.00. The appeal closes this Friday, 31st October. We will announce the final amo= unt contributed to the Fatherhood Foundation. Donate here. ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ran= ging in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himsel= f. Laughter Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.co= m/fs007/1101938345415/img/460.jpg?a=3D1102292623763] It was dead! Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was attached to the first Koala! Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Grandfathers [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/466.jpg?a=3D1= 102292623763]We cannot always build the future for our youth, But we can build our youth for the future. Franklin D Roosevelt President USA 1933-1945 Single Dads [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/459.jpg?a=3D1= 102292623763] I first met Warwick Marsh at the 'Stress and the City' Forum in Melbourne o= n 8th October 2008 and was invited to write an article to support Separated= Fathers. Separated Fathers face a multitude of complex issues, relating to contact/a= ccess, legal, financial and emotional stressors. DISEMPOWERMENT (or the feeling of disempowerment) This is the most important issue. When a man separates, there is a an array of complex feelings and emotions = regarding, "What has happened to my family?" "What has happened to my life?" "Everything I know has changed" "Am I going to be with my children?" "Do the children still love me?" "Is this going to end?" and the list goes on (and on). This comes back to the stages of grief and loss (See Kubler Ross's 'Grief a= nd Loss). The sad part is that the loss of a relationship often= follows in the same footsteps that a death follows. The pain is real and n= ot imagined. Unless you know which stage you are in you cannot address the = issues that are being faced. I have simplified the stages into 3 stages of separation. (these are general feelings and thoughts. There are many more). Add acrimony to the list and it becomes almost intolerable. 1: Initial Stage: Includes feelings of loss, grief, anger, vindictiveness, shock, feeling dev= alued, feeling out of control, denial, skewed/almost delusional thinking, p= aranoia, hopelessness and helplessness, some suicidal thoughts, preoccupati= on with thoughts, (ruminating- thinking about things over and over) anxiety= , anticipatory grief (of potential loss). 2: Power Struggle Stage: Feeling at the mercy of your ex partner. Feeling at the mercy of 'The Syste= m', increased financial strain, increased destructive behaviours, victimisa= tion, isolation, strong suicidal thoughts, extreme negative feelings, "How = am I going to get through this?", "Is this going to end?", acrimony, derog= atory thoughts ('I am good for nothing' etc), bargaining, depression, incr= eased suicidal thoughts, 3: Moving Forward Stage: Acceptance, reconnection, new partner? and new lives, ability to see a futu= re, hope, positive thoughts, amicability, increased closeness with loved on= es, contentment. Unless you acknowledge which stage you are in you will be unable to move fo= rward. Through my experiences I have found that most people are in one of t= he three stages. Most people hope to be in the last stage but do not hav= e the tools to achieve this aim. There is hope and you need to hang onto it. Get some help from professionals and your friends and family, Do exciting new things and learn how to forgive. Join a men's group and reconnect. Cheers Yours in good health. Peter Nowosielski. My next article will be about achieving a sense of contentment and what it = has to do with how we feel and think. ______________________________________________________ Peter Nowosielski is a general and psychiatric nurse. He also runs a men's = group with Dads in Distress and has had a keen interest in men's health and= emotional issues following separation. Peter conducts parenting programs a= nd general and psychiatric men's health programs. You can contact him at:petenow1@hotmail.com All You Need is Love August 1942. Piotrkow, Poland.[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/= img/461.jpg?a=3D1102292623763] The sky was gloomy that morning as we waited anxiously. All the men, women = and children of Piotrkow's Jewish ghetto had been herded into a square. Word had gotten around that we were being moved. My father had only recentl= y died from typhus, which had run rampant through the crowded ghetto. My gr= eatest fear was that our family would be separated. 'Whatever you do,' Isidore, my eldest brother, whispered to me, 'don't tell= them your age. Say you're sixteen.' I was tall for a boy of 11, so I could pull it off. That way I might be dee= med valuable as a worker. An SS man approached me, boots clicking against the cobblestones. He looked= me up and down, and then asked my age. 'Sixteen,' I said. He directed me to the left, where my three brothers and = other healthy young men already stood. My mother was motioned to the right with the other women, children, sick an= d elderly people. I whispered to Isidore, 'Why?' He didn't answer. I ran to Mama's side and s= aid I wanted to stay with her. 'No,' she said sternly. 'Get away. Don't be a nuisance. Go with your brothe= rs.' She had never spoken so harshly before. But I understood: She was protectin= g me. She loved me so much that, just this once, she pretended not to. It w= as the last I ever saw of her. My brothers and I were transported in a cattle car to Germany. We arrived a= t the Buchenwald concentration camp one night weeks later and were led into= a crowded barrack. The next day, we were issued uniforms and identificatio= n numbers. 'Don't call me Herman anymore.' I said to my brothers. 'Call me 94983.' I was put to work in the camp's crematorium, loading the dead into a hand-c= ranked elevator. I, too, felt dead. Hardened, I had become a number. Soon, my brothers and I were sent to Schlieben, one of Buchenwald's sub-cam= ps near Berlin. One morning I thought I heard my mother's voice. 'Son,' she said softly but clearly, 'I am going to send you an angel.' Then= I woke up. Just a dream. A beautiful dream. [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/462.jpg?a=3D1= 102292623763]But in this place there could be no angels. There was only wor= k, and hunger, and fear. A couple of days later, I was walking around the camp, around the barracks,= near the barbed-wire fence where the guards could not easily see. I was al= one. On the other side of the fence, I spotted someone: a little girl with light= , almost luminous curls. She was half-hidden behind a birch tree. I glanced around to make sure no one saw me. I called to her softly in Germ= an. 'Do you have something to eat?' She didn't understand. I inched closer = to the fence and repeated the question in Polish. She stepped forward. I wa= s thin and gaunt, with rags wrapped around my feet, but the girl looked una= fraid. In her eyes, I saw life. She pulled an apple from her woolen jacket and threw it over the fence. I g= rabbed the fruit and, as I started to run away, I heard her say faintly, 'I= 'll see you tomorrow.' I returned to the same spot by the fence at the same time every day. She wa= s always there with something for me to eat - a hunk of bread or, better ye= t, an apple. We didn't dare speak or linger. To be caught would mean death for us both. I didn't know anything about her, just a kind farm girl, except that she un= derstood Polish. What was her name? Why was she risking her life for me? Ho= pe was in such short supply, and this girl on the other side of the fence g= ave me some, as nourishing in its way as the bread and apples.. Nearly seven months later, my brothers and I were crammed into a coal car a= nd shipped to Theresienstadt camp in Czechoslovakia. 'Don't return,' I told the girl that day. 'We're leaving.' I turned toward = the barracks and didn't look back, didn't even say good-bye to the little g= irl whose name I'd never learned, the girl with the apples. We were in Theresienstadt for three months. The war was winding down and Al= lied forces were closing in, yet my fate seemed sealed. On May 10, 1945, I = was scheduled to die in the gas chamber at 10:00 AM. In the quiet of dawn, I tried to prepare myself. So many times death seemed= ready to claim me, but somehow I'd survived. Now, it was over. I thought o= f my parents. At last, I thought, we will be reunited. (to be continued next week) Special Feature [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/465.jpg?a=3D= 1102292623763] The Importance of Father Involvement in Schools From Mr Dad Website www.mrdad.com Q: My child's school often sends out emails asking for moms to volunteer in= the classroom or around the school. A lot of these communications talk abo= ut how important it is for mothers to be involved in their children's educa= tion. As a father, I find this a little annoying, and I'm wondering whether= you know of any evidence that dads' involvement is important too? A: There's a mountain of research that shows a direct connection between pa= rents' involvement in their children's education and their kids' performanc= e in school. In short, the more the parents are involved, the better the ki= ds do. But in many schools (and in many families), the word "parents" reall= y means "mom." That's a big mistake. There are a number of benefit that are= specifically related to father involvement. When dads are involved, their = children . =B7 Do better in school and enjoy it while they're there. About half o= f kids with involved dads get mostly As, compared to only about a third whe= n dads are not involved. Those children who aren't doing as well in school = tend to be less anxious about it than those with uninvolved dads. Interesti= ngly, the chances that children will get top grades has more to do with dad= 's level of involvement than mom's. =B7 Are half as likely to have ever repeated a grade (7 percent vs. 15= percent for children of less-involved dads), according to a national surve= y sponsored by the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES). =B7 Are much less likely to have ever been suspended (10 percent vs. 1= 8 percent for kids of less involved dads). =B7 Are more likely to participate in extracurricular activities. And = children who are involved in extracurricular activities have fewer behavior= problems and are less likely to get involved with drugs or alcohol or beco= me teen parents. =B7 Grow up to be higher-performing, more responsible adults and are m= ore likely to have solid marriages. =B7 Are more interested in exploring the world around them, are more c= onfident, and have better problem-solving skills. =B7 Tend to do better on standardized tests, have better math and verb= al scores, and have higher IQs. =B7 Get a clear message that you care about them and value education. Interestingly, according to University of Illinois researcher Brent A. McBr= ide, these wonderful benefits from father involvement happen whether the da= d is married, single, a step father, and adoptive father, lives with his ch= ildren or not. Overall, that's pretty convincing, don't you think? But wait= , there's more. When dads are involved in their children's schools, the dad= s themselves.: Tend to be more involved at home and vice versa. Learn a lot of great stuff. The NCES study found that when parents are acti= vely involved in their kids' schools, they "are more likely to visit museum= s and libraries, participate in cultural activities with their children, an= d have high educational expectations for them." Feel more important in their children's lives. Being involved in their chid= lren's schools helps dads understand that they're just as important to thei= r children as moms are. And finally, schools benefit from father involvement too. Teacher morale is= higher and they get more support from families, parents have a higher opin= ion of the teachers, and the schools have better reputations in community. = So next time you get an email asking for moms to volunteer, send back a cop= y of this column. Then, grab a couple of other dads and make sure you're fi= rst in line. News & Info Parents Links [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/i= mg/464.jpg?a=3D1102292623763] Why Can't an Aussie dad be more like a Dane? It looks very bad, the study that shows Australian dads on average spendin= g a measly six minutes alone with their kids Monday through Friday. Just ov= er one minute a day! Overall, they spend just shy of one hour each working = week caring for their kids, but 90 per cent of that care is done alongside = the mother, social researcher Lyn Craig finds in a new paper, Fare Care, Fa= ther Share in International Perspective Editors Note; The Fatherhood Foundation was asked to comment on Dr Lyn Crai= g's findings found in Aussie Dads be More like Danes; The obvious comment i= s that Australian fathers are working to what amounts to the longest hours = in the OECD developed world for many and varied reasons. More women in Aust= ralia put a priority on Motherhood and work part time than in some of these= other OCED western nations. This is NOT a liability but it is an asset. WE= should applaud Australian Mothers and honour them for this gift of sacrifi= cial love for there children. Children need a mother and a father. There is= nothing wrong with apportioning the care in differing ratios on a mutually= agreed basis. As we said on ABC radio this week we would agree with Dr Steve Biddulph. We= support mother care and father care. Grand mother care and grandfather car= e. Extended family care. All of this is better than institutionalized child= care. That is when the radio interviewer hurriedly shut the interview down= . It is interesting to note that Dr Lyn Craig has received funding for some o= f her research from the Office of women. For 7 years the Fatherhood Foundat= ion has been advocating for an Office for the Status of Fathers or a govern= ment ministry of Fatherhood. This has so far met with deathly silence. The = anti father bias is still quite strong in government and media circles. Aus= tralian Men and Fathers still need a voice in government. Only then will we= get some family friendly research that equally honours Australian mothers = and fathers that will really benefit our children Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 Ph: 02 4272 6677 Fax: 02 4272 6680 Email: info@fatherhood.org.au Web: www.fatherhood.org.au Worried Japanese Parents try to marry off adult children The tendency of Generation X in Japan to value their careers above marriage= is distressing their ageing parents, so much so that the parents have turn= ed to match-making groups to find spouses for their adult children. Family Breakdown costs New Zealand $1 bn a year. Family breakdown in New Zealand reflects trends in many developed countries= , but the nation of not quite 4.3 million people has one of the highest rat= es of non-marital births -- ahead of the United Kingdom, United States, Aus= tralia and Canada -- and sole parents outnumber married parents among famil= ies with children. Some 49 per cent of children (65,000) live in a sole par= ent household, and such households have five times the poverty rate of coup= le households. ________________________________________________________________ Movember is that time of the year when men become hairy (grow a mo)all for = a good cause, the Prostrate Cancer Foundation and Beyond Blue. Movember sta= rted in 2004 with $55,000 raised for charity. In 2007 Movember raised 14.8 = million dollars. That sure is a lot of hairy dollars. However the really in= teresting part of the equation is that women make up 60% of web traffic and= 60% of those who donate funds, in order to help save the men. Long live th= e Mo Sistas!! Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation I stand up and congratulate the Fatherhood Foundation for taking a stand f= or our children of this great nation. For too long our children have been y= elling out to be noticed by the father's of Australia and finally they are = listening. I also applaud you all for what you stand for and the steps that= you have taken to make the rest of our communities take notice as well. Michelle (mum of 5) Dads4Kids Dads4KIds Competition Fatherhood Foundation is asking Australians to help Dads4Kids with their i= deas on how to solve the problems that Australian children face. Dads4Kids = is an initiative of the Fatherhood Foundation which is a harm prevention ch= arity. Find out more information or enter the Dads4Kids Competition. View Community Service Announcements at:http://www.dads4kids.org.au/Media Dear Dads4Kids My good idea is every night at bedtime I ask each of my kids what the best = thing that day was. The answers are always interesting and rarely predictab= le. It gives me an insight into what they like and how they think. I also a= sk them what was the worst thing that day. This gives them a chance to offl= oad anything that may be worrying them and shows them that I care about the= ir life. If I ever leave their rooms and forget to ask, I am quickly remind= ed to return! What is my best thing? - Often the time spent listening to their answers. Richard Logan [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/399.jpg?a=3D= 1102292623763] Dad's Prayer [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/463.jpg?a=3D1= 102292623763] Dear God As you are the author of intelligence, could you give me some extra IQ so that I can pass it on to my children? Why not? You want me to get involved with them? Read to them? And help them with their homework? That sounds like hard work! OK, I'll roll up my sleeves and get involved, as I really want my children to be smarter than me, as long as they keep it a secret. Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in f= athering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, pr= otective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and thei= r children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax = Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. Forward email [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/safe_unsubscribe_logo.gif] This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org. Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(tm) | Pri= vacy Policy. Email Marketing= by [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/cc-logo-color-sm.gif] Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia --_000_110229262376311019383454151211898183002scheduler_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
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27th October 2008  &nb= sp;    Inspiring Fathers Enco= uraging Families Issue 323
Father's Involvement
Higher IQ for Children 
=09
Dear Brian,

Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email inform= ation service for fathers and families as we present Father's inv= olvement - Higher IQ for Children

In This Issue
Frontline...Father's IQ
Laughter.. Thre Koalas
Grandfathers...Future for our Youth
Single Dads...Separated Fathers
All You Need is Love..Protecting Love
Special Feature...Father Involvement
News & Info..Parents Links
Dads4Kids
Dad's Prayer..The Author of Intelligence
Next Week&nb= sp;
 Batt= le for the Family
 =09 =09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09 =09 =09
Quick Links
 Thought of the Week
3D"ThactherI= owe almost everything to my father.
 
Marg= aret Thatcher
Prime Minister Great Britain
1979-1990=
Link of the Week

 IQ Test

Frontline
3D"5th
I saw the TEN= show = 'Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?' last night. Although it has been r= unning for about a year, I predict that in a few years time they will have = to rename the show, 'Are you smarter than any child with an involved father= ?' because a high dad involvement means a higher IQ and a better life.
 
The following short summary is written by Dr Ned Holst= ein, executive director of Fathers in Families in the USA, and can be f= ound at the www.fathersandfamilies.or= g   blog site which is jointly operated in conjunction with Glen S= acks.
 
"The new study, published in June 2008 l= ooked at all the children born in Britain in a single week in March, 1958. = When the children were eleven years old (1969), the mothers were asked, "Ho= w involved is the father in the management of the child?" In the same year,= the children took an IQ test. Finally, the researchers looked at the child= ren's upward social mobility at age 42 (year 2000).
 
The re= searchers found some very interesting results:
=B7    T= he fathers' involvement in 1969 was "equal to mother" in 62 percent of the = cases;
=B7    Children with high father involvement had= significantly higher IQs at age 11 than those with low father involvement;=
=B7    By age 42, children with high father involvemen= t had shown substantially more upward mobility than those with low father i= nvolvement;
=B7    Fathers tended to be slightly more i= nvolved with sons than daughters, but when they did engage equally with dau= ghters, the positive effect was just as great as for sons.
 
It's interesting to see that so many of the fathers' involvement was "equa= l to mothers" in 1969.  The reigning myth is that fathers have become = involved with their children only recently. So often I hear, "Well, of cour= se custody used to go to mom, but now fathers are getting more involved wit= h their kids -  it's just taking a little time for the law to catch up= ."
 
Personally, I don't like hearing my father or his gener= ation criticized when I know how hard they worked for us. Keep this in mind= the next time a television 'expert' tells you that fathers in past generat= ions neglected their kids. Keep this in mind when you watch Mad Men.
T= he next time the judge tells you it's not in your child's best interest for= you to have more time with her, ask why a higher IQ and more upward mobili= ty is not in her best interest.
 
And by the way, guys, don'= t neglect your daughters just because they are less interested in throwing = a football around. They need you as much as your sons do."
 
Dr Ned Holstein is absolutely right. Our sons and our daughters will benef= it from our involvement.
 
We give our children the best op= portunity in life when we give them the best of our time as they grow.
 
Lovework
 <= br />Get to work!
Get involved in your children's lives.
You migh= t just have the next Albert Einstein, Margaret Thatcher or Marilyn Vos Sa= vant  under your roof.

Yours for higher IQs
W= arwick Marsh
 
PS This week is your last chance to match the= Grosmount State School in their financial contribution to the fathers of A= ustralia. Thirteen (13) children from a small school in drought affected ou= tback Queensland raised $40 for the Fatherhood Foundation. So far we have 5= people who have given a total of $515.00.
 
The appeal clo= ses this Friday, 31st October. We will announce the final amount contribute= d to the Fatherhood Foundation. Donate here. = ;
 
 
____________________________________________________________________
Warwick = Marsh  has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is t= he grandfather of two children and father of five children, four boys and o= ne girl, ranging in age from 27 years to 15 years.  Warwick is a = musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can= still laugh at himself.
Laughter
=
Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?3D"Koala"

It was dead!

<= br />Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?

It w= as attached to the first Koala!


Why did t= he third Koala fall out of the tree?

Peer pressure.
Grandfathers

3D"BuildingWe cannot always build the future for our youth,
But we can bui= ld our youth for the future.

 
Frankl= in D Roosevelt
President USA
1933-1945
<= /font>
Single Dads
3D"Stressed
I first met Warwick Marsh at the 'Stress and the City' Forum in Melbou= rne on 8th October 2008 and was invited to write an article to support Sepa= rated Fathers.
 
Separated Fathers face a multitude of comp= lex issues, relating to contact/access, legal, financial and emotional stre= ssors.
 
DISEMPOWERMENT  (or the feeling of disempower= ment)
This is the most important issue.
 
When a man se= parates, there is a an array of complex feelings and emotions regarding, "What has happened to my family?"
"What has happened to my life?"<= br />"Everything I know has changed"
"Am I going to be with my childre= n?"
"Do the children still love me?"
"Is this going to end?"
and the list goes on (and on).
 
This comes back to the s= tages of grief and loss (See Kubler Ross's 'Grief and Loss). The sad par= t is that the loss of a relationship often follows in the same footsteps th= at a death follows. The pain is real and not imagined. Unless you know whic= h stage you are in you cannot address the issues that are being faced. = ;
 
I have simplified the stages into 3 stages of separatio= n.
(these are general feelings and thoughts. There are many more). &nb= sp;
Add acrimony to the list and it becomes almost intolerable.
=  
1: Initial Stage:
Includes feelings of loss, grief, anger= , vindictiveness, shock, feeling devalued, feeling out of control, denial, = skewed/almost delusional thinking, paranoia, hopelessness and helplessness,= some suicidal thoughts, preoccupation with thoughts, (ruminating- thinking= about things over and over) anxiety, anticipatory grief (of potential loss= ).  
 
2: Power Struggle Stage:
Feeling at the mer= cy of your ex partner. Feeling at the mercy of 'The System', increased fina= ncial strain, increased destructive behaviours, victimisation, isolation, s= trong suicidal thoughts, extreme negative feelings, "How am I going to get = through this?", "Is this going to end?",  acrimony, derogatory thought= s  ('I am good for nothing' etc), bargaining, depression, increased su= icidal thoughts,
 
3: Moving Forward Stage:
Acceptanc= e, reconnection, new partner? and new lives, ability to see a future, hope,= positive thoughts, amicability, increased closeness with loved ones, conte= ntment.
 
Unless you acknowledge which stage you are in you= will be unable to move forward. Through my experiences I have found that m= ost people are in one of the three stages.    Most people ho= pe to be in the last stage but do not have the tools to achieve this aim. <= br /> 
There is hope and you need to hang onto it.
 Get some help from professionals and your friends and family,
&nb= sp;
Do exciting new things and learn how to forgive.
Join a men'= s group and reconnect.
 
Cheers
Yours in good health.=
Peter Nowosielski.
 
My next article will be about a= chieving a sense of contentment and what it has to do with how we feel and = think.
______________________________________________________
&nb= sp;
Peter Nowosielski is a general and psychiatric nurse. He also runs= a men's group with Dads in Distress and has had a keen interest in men's h= ealth and emotional issues following separation. Peter conducts parenting p= rograms and general and psychiatric men's health programs.
You can co= ntact him at:pete= now1@hotmail.com
 =09
All You Nee= d is Love
 
 August = 1942.
Piotrkow, Poland.3D"Aushwitz
 
The= sky was gloomy that morning as we waited anxiously. All the men, women and= children of Piotrkow's Jewish ghetto had been herded into a square.
&= nbsp;
Word had gotten around that we were being moved. My father had o= nly recently died from typhus, which had run rampant through the crowded gh= etto. My greatest fear was that our family would be separated.
 <= br />'Whatever you do,' Isidore, my eldest brother, whispered to me, 'don't= tell them your age. Say you're sixteen.'
 
I was tall for a= boy of 11, so I could pull it off. That way I might be deemed valuable as = a worker.
 
An SS man approached me, boots clicking against = the cobblestones. He looked me up and down, and then asked my age.
&nb= sp;
'Sixteen,' I said. He directed me to the left, where my three brot= hers and other healthy young men already stood.
 
My mother = was motioned to the right with the other women, children, sick and elderly = people.
 
I whispered to Isidore, 'Why?' He didn't answer. I= ran to Mama's side and said I wanted to stay with her.
 
'N= o,' she said sternly. 'Get away. Don't be a nuisance. Go with your brothers= .'
 
She had never spoken so harshly before. But I understoo= d: She was protecting me. She loved me so much that, just this once, she pr= etended not to. It was the last I ever saw of her.
 
My brot= hers and I were transported in a cattle car to Germany. We arrived at the B= uchenwald concentration camp one night weeks later and were led into a crow= ded barrack. The next day, we were issued uniforms and identification numbe= rs.
 
'Don't call me Herman anymore.' I said to my brothers.= 'Call me 94983.'
 
I was put to work in the camp's cremator= ium, loading the dead into a hand-cranked elevator. I, too, felt dead. Hard= ened, I had become a number.
 
Soon, my brothers and I were = sent to Schlieben, one of Buchenwald's sub-camps near Berlin.
 One morning I thought I heard my mother's voice.
'Son,' she said s= oftly but clearly, 'I am going to send you an angel.' Then I woke up. Just = a dream. A beautiful dream.
 
3D"Aushwitz"But in this place there could be no angels. There was onl= y work, and hunger, and fear.
 
A couple of days later, I wa= s walking around the camp, around the barracks, near the barbed-wire fence = where the guards could not easily see. I was alone.
 
On the= other side of the fence, I spotted someone: a little girl with light, almo= st luminous curls. She was half-hidden behind a birch tree.
 
I glanced around to make sure no one saw me. I called to her softly in Ge= rman. 'Do you have something to eat?' She didn't understand. I inched close= r to the fence and repeated the question in Polish. She stepped forward. I = was thin and gaunt, with rags wrapped around my feet, but the girl looked u= nafraid. In her eyes, I saw life.
 
She pulled an apple from= her woolen jacket and threw it over the fence. I grabbed the fruit and, as= I started to run away, I heard her say faintly, 'I'll see you tomorrow.' 
I returned to the same spot by the fence at the same time e= very day. She was always there with something for me to eat - a hunk of bre= ad or, better yet, an apple.
 
We didn't dare speak or linge= r. To be caught would mean death for us both.
 
I didn't kno= w anything about her, just a kind farm girl, except that she understood Pol= ish. What was her name? Why was she risking her life for me? Hope was in su= ch short supply, and this girl on the other side of the fence gave me some,= as nourishing in its way as the bread and apples..
 
Nearly= seven months later, my brothers and I were crammed into a coal car and shi= pped to Theresienstadt camp in Czechoslovakia.
 
'Don't retu= rn,' I told the girl that day. 'We're leaving.' I turned toward the barrack= s and didn't look back, didn't even say good-bye to the little girl whose n= ame I'd never learned, the girl with the apples.
 
We were i= n Theresienstadt for three months. The war was winding down and Allied forc= es were closing in, yet my fate seemed sealed. On May 10, 1945, I was sched= uled to die in the gas chamber at 10:00 AM.
 
In the quiet o= f dawn, I tried to prepare myself. So many times death seemed ready to clai= m me, but somehow I'd survived. Now, it was over. I thought of my parents. = At last, I thought, we will be reunited.
 
(to be continued = next week)
 

Special Feature

 3D"Dad_daughter_Scho=
The Importan= ce of Father Involvement in Schools
From Mr Dad Websi= te www.mrdad.com
 
Q: My child's school often sends out emails asking for moms to volunteer i= n the classroom or around the school. A lot of these communications talk ab= out how important it is for mothers to be involved in their children's educ= ation. As a father, I find this a little annoying, and I'm wondering whethe= r you know of any evidence that dads' involvement is important too?
A: There's a mountain of research that shows a direct = connection between parents' involvement in their children's education and t= heir kids' performance in school. In short, the more the parents are involv= ed, the better the kids do. But in many schools (and in many families), the= word "parents" really means "mom." That's a big mistake. There are a numbe= r of benefit that are specifically related to father involvement. When dads= are involved, their children .
 
=B7   &nbs= p;  Do better in school and enjoy it while they're th= ere. About half of kids with involved dads get mostly As, compared to only = about a third when dads are not involved. Those children who aren't doing a= s well in school tend to be less anxious about it than those with uninvolve= d dads. Interestingly, the chances that children will get top grades has mo= re to do with dad's level of involvement than mom's.
 
=B7&= nbsp;     Are half as likely to have e= ver repeated a grade (7 percent vs. 15 percent for children of less-involve= d dads), according to a national survey sponsored by the National Center fo= r Education Statistics (NCES).
 
=B7    = ;  Are much less likely to have ever been suspended (= 10 percent vs. 18 percent for kids of less involved dads).
 
=B7      Are more likely to par= ticipate in extracurricular activities. And children who are involved in ex= tracurricular activities have fewer behavior problems and are less likely t= o get involved with drugs or alcohol or become teen parents.
 =B7      Grow up to be higher= -performing, more responsible adults and are more likely to have solid marr= iages.

=B7      Are m= ore interested in exploring the world around them, are more confident, and = have better problem-solving skills.
 
=B7   =    Tend to do better on standardized tests, have= better math and verbal scores, and have higher IQs.
 
=B7&= nbsp;     Get a clear message that you= care about them and value education.
 
Interestingly, acco= rding to University of Illinois researcher Brent A. McBride, these wonderfu= l benefits from father involvement happen whether the dad is married, singl= e, a step father, and adoptive father, lives with his children or not. Over= all, that's pretty convincing, don't you think? But wait, there's more. Whe= n dads are involved in their children's schools, the dads themselves.:
 
Tend to be more involved at home and vice versa.
Learn = a lot of great stuff. The NCES study found that when parents are actively i= nvolved in their kids' schools, they "are more likely to visit museums and = libraries, participate in cultural activities with their children, and have= high educational expectations for them."
 
Feel more impor= tant in their children's lives. Being involved in their chidlren's schools = helps dads understand that they're just as important to their children as m= oms are.
And finally, schools benefit from father involvement too. Te= acher morale is higher and they get more support from families, parents hav= e a higher opinion of the teachers, and the schools have better reputations= in community. So next time you get an email asking for moms to volunteer, = send back a copy of this column. Then, grab a couple of other dads and make= sure you're first in line. 
 

 
=
News & Info
=
 
 Parents Links&n= bsp; 3D"Newspaper
 
 
 
 It looks very bad, the study that shows Australian dads on avera= ge spending a measly six minutes alone with their kids Monday through Frida= y. Just over one minute a day! Overall, they spend just shy of one hour eac= h working week caring for their kids, but 90 per cent of that care is done = alongside the mother, social researcher Lyn Craig finds in a new paper, Far= e Care, Father Share in International Perspective   
Editors Note; The Fatherhood Foundation was asked to comment on Dr Lyn Craig's fi= ndings found in Aussie Dads be More like Danes; The obvious comment is that= Australian fathers are working to what amounts to the longest hours in the= OECD developed world for many and varied reasons. More women in Australia = put a priority on Motherhood and work part time than in some of these other= OCED western nations. This is NOT a liability but it is an asset. WE shoul= d applaud Australian Mothers and honour them for this gift of sacrificial l= ove for there children. Children need a mother and a father. There is nothi= ng wrong with apportioning the care in differing ratios on a mutually agree= d basis.  
As we said on ABC radio this week we would agree with = Dr Steve Biddulph. We support mother care and father care. Grand mother car= e and grandfather care. Extended family care. All of this is better than in= stitutionalized child care. That is when the radio interviewer hurriedly sh= ut the interview down.
 
It is interesting to note th= at Dr Lyn Craig has received funding for some of her research from the Offi= ce of women. For 7 years the Fatherhood Foundation has been advocating for = an Office for the Status of Fathers or a government ministry of Fatherhood.= This has so far met with deathly silence. The anti father bias is still qu= ite strong in government and media circles. Australian Men and Fathers stil= l need a voice in government. Only then will we get some family friendly re= search that equally honours Australian mothers and fathers that will really= benefit our children
 
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box = 542
UNANDERRA NSW 2526
Ph: 02 4272 6677
Fax: 02 4272 6680=
Email: i= nfo@fatherhood.org.au  
Web: www.fatherhood.org.au

Worried Japanese Parents try to marry = off adult children
Th= e tendency of Generation X in Japan to value their careers above marriage i= s distressing their ageing parents, so much so that the parents have turned= to match-making groups to find spouses for their adult children.
 
 
Fa= mily breakdown in New Zealand reflects trends in many developed countries, = but the nation of not quite 4.3 million people has one of the highest rates= of non-marital births -- ahead of the United Kingdom, United States, Austr= alia and Canada -- and sole parents outnumber married parents among familie= s with children. Some 49 per cent of children (65,000) live in a sole paren= t household, and such households have five times the poverty rate of couple= households.=20
 

________________________________________________________________
 
Movember is that time of the year when men bec= ome hairy (grow a mo)all for a good cause, the Prostrate Cancer Foundation = and Beyond Blue. Movember started in 2004 with $55,000 raised for charity. = In 2007 Movember raised 14.8 million dollars. That sure is a lot of hairy d= ollars. However the really interesting part of the equation is that women m= ake up 60% of web traffic and 60% of those who donate funds, in order to he= lp save the men. Long live the Mo Sistas!!
 
Letters
 
Dear Fatherhood Foundati= on
 
I stand up and congratulate the  Fatherhood Founda= tion for taking a stand for our children of this great nation. For too long= our children have been yelling out to be noticed by the father's of Austra= lia and finally they are listening. I also applaud you all for what you sta= nd for and the steps that you have taken to make the rest of our communitie= s take notice as well.
 
Michelle (mum of 5)
=
Dads4Kids
 Dads4KIds  Competition
 Fatherhood Foundation is asking Australians to help Dads4Ki= ds with their ideas on how to solve the problems that Australian children f= ace. Dads4Kids is an initiative of the Fatherhood Foundation which is a har= m prevention charity. Find out more information or enter the Dads4Kids Comp= etition.    
View Community Service Announcements at:http://www.dads4kids.org.au/Media&n= bsp;    
 
 
Dear Dads4Kids 
My good idea is every night at bedtime I ask each of my kids= what the best thing that day was. The answers are always interesting and r= arely predictable. It gives me an insight into what they like and how they = think. I also ask them what was the worst thing that day. This gives them a= chance to offload anything that may be worrying them and shows them that I= care about their life. If I ever leave their rooms and forget to ask, I am= quickly reminded to return!
What is my best thing? - Often the time = spent listening to their answers.
 
Richard Logan
 = ;
 
 3D"Matthew
=

Dad's Prayer

           &nbs= p;       
   =20
3D"Dad 
 Dear God 
As you are the author of intelligence,
could you give = me some extra IQ
so that I can pass it on to my children?
 <= br />Why not?
 
You want me to get involved with them?
= Read to them?
And help them with their homework?
That sounds like= hard work!
OK, I'll roll up my sleeves
and get involved,
as= I really want my children
to be smarter than me,
as long as th= ey keep it a secret.
    
=09
=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be = emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)

 Westpac Branch Wollongong      &nb= sp;            =   DONATE ONLINE

BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW&nbs= p; 2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

=09
=09
=09
3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by in= fo@fathersonline.org.
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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