Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au (130.130.68.31) by staffmail.uow.edu.au (10.5.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server id 8.1.291.1; Sun, 9 Nov 2008 08:51:48 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1Kyvif-0002pH-71 for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 09 Nov 2008 08:51:49 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.10.2-GA) with ESMTP id PQH15492; Sun, 9 Nov 2008 08:51:45 +1100 (EST) Received: from p2-ws508.ad.prodcc.net (unknown [10.252.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 7D4841860888 for ; Sat, 8 Nov 2008 16:35:50 -0500 (EST) From: Fatherhood Foundation To: Brian Lane Date: Sun, 9 Nov 2008 08:36:37 +1100 Subject: The Courage to Raise a Child Thread-Topic: The Courage to Raise a Child Thread-Index: AclB7DP1dkXQz7f2QcCIJ7YZ1sa9Lg== Message-ID: <1102312171247.1101938345415.1211.8.105163502@scheduler> List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykVKRkZZBLXnjrIket1dRbYw== Reply-To: "info@fathersonline.org" Accept-Language: en-AU, en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthAs: Anonymous X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthSource: excasht02.ad.uow.edu.au X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: x-junkmail-status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au x-junkmail-sd-raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A090203.491609F4.00F7:SCFMA772204,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2008-08-01 02:07:42, dmn=5.7.1/2008-09-02, mode=single engine x-junkmail-iwf: false x-return-path-hint: ESC1102312171247_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com x-roving-id: 1101938345415.1211 x-lumos-senderid: 1101938345415 x-roving-campaignid: 1102312171247 x-roving-streamid: 0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_1102312171247110193834541512118105163502scheduler_" MIME-Version: 1.0 --_000_1102312171247110193834541512118105163502scheduler_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/11.jpg?a=3D11= 02312171247] 10th November 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 325 [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/1101093164665/people3_header= 1.jpg] The Courage to Raise a Child Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for fathers and families as we present the Courage to Raise a Child In This Issue Frontline...Fathers are Important Laughter..Noah in Red Tape Grandfathers...The Crux is Responsibility Single Dads...Expectations All You Need is Love..Fireproof is Coming Special Feature...The President Elect News & Info..Parents Links Dads4Kids Dad's Prayer..Families to Raise Children Next Week Love in Action Join our Mailing List! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/ftf_btn_1.gif] Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation Dads in Distress Men to Men Malachi Global Choicez.com Beyond Blue Australian Family Association Fathers & Daughters Raising Children Network (Aus) CSA Adverts Thought of the Week [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/487.jpg?a=3D1= 102312171247] But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the courage to raise one. President Elect Barack Obama Frontline [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/486.jpg?a=3D1= 102312171247] I have been watching the progress of the USA elections with profound intere= st along with many other Australians. Whatever happens in America still has= a huge effect on the rest of the world. Greg Sheridan, one of Australia's most well-versed political correspondents= , lamented about the reality that this election, more than any other, has b= een about the cult of celebrity. USA presidential elections have been going= this way for years. Unfortunately the political process in Australia is be= coming more of the same. It's all about looks. It's all about externals. St= yle always triumphs over substance. We desperately need more statesmen and = fewer politicians: men and women who are committed to what is right and wha= t is best, not just what is politically expedient. Barack Obama has won the Presidential Election and we at the Fatherhood Fou= ndation wish him the best with the difficult job that lies ahead. Our hope = is that he delivers on the many speeches that he has made over the last sev= eral months. On Fathers Day, 18th June 2008, Barack Obama made a speech at the Church of= God in Chicago's Southside. We reprint an edited version in Special Featur= e. Obama grew up without a father in a single parent household and you can'= t help but feel that his words are heartfelt when he says that fathers are = important. His speech is definitely worth the read. Here is an extract: Good morning. It's good to be home on this Father's Day with my girls, and = it's an honor to spend some time with all of you today in the house of our = Lord. At the end of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus closes by saying, "Whoever hea= rs these words of mine, and does them, shall be likened to a wise man who b= uilt his house upon a rock: and the rain descended, and the floods came, an= d the winds blew, and beat upon that house, and it fell not, for it was fou= nded upon a rock." [Matthew 7: 24-25]... Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that = family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how = critical every father is to that foundation. They are teachers and coaches.= They are mentors and role models. They are examples of success and the men= who constantly push us toward it.... But if we are honest with ourselves, we'll admit that what too many fathers= also are missing - missing from too many lives and too many homes. They ha= ve abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And t= he foundations of our families are weaker because of it. You and I know how true this is in the African-American community. We know = that more than half of all black children live in single-parent households,= a number that has doubled - doubled - since we were children. We know the = statistics - that children who grow up without a father are five times more= likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop= out of schools and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. They are more= likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home or become teenag= e parents themselves. And the foundations of our community are weaker becau= se of it.... But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize= that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize th= at what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the coura= ge to raise one..... Still, I know the toll that being a single parent took on my mother - how s= he struggled at times to the pay bills; to give us the things that other ki= ds had; to play all the roles that both parents are supposed to play. And I= know the toll it took on me. So I resolved many years ago that it was my o= bligation to break the cycle - that if I could be anything in life, I would= be a good father to my girls; that if I could give them anything, I would = give them that rock - that foundation - on which to build their lives. And = that would be the greatest gift I could offer. Lovework Become the greatest gift to your children, because you are your children's = foundation. Yours for great foundations Warwick Marsh PS International Mens Day(www.internationalmensday.com) is coming = up on Wednesday 19th November and I need someone to help me run the website= who is passionate for men and families, someone who wants to make the worl= d a better place, is internet savvy and be able to make friends around the = globe via email and telephone. We have the website at www.internationalmensday.com but it still n= eeds more work in the next few days. Email me if you can help at info@fatherhood.org.au ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ran= ging in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himsel= f. Link of the Week Obama Fathers Day Speech Laughter [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/479.jpg?a=3D= 1102312171247] In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Melbourne,= Australia, and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-pop= ulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good hu= mans.' He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, 'You have 6 months to build the Ark be= fore I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.' Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - b= ut no Ark. 'Noah!' He roared , 'I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?' 'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things have changed. I needed a build= ing permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprin= kler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zonin= g laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.= We had to go to the VCAT for a decision. Then Alinta demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage fo= r the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us= , but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees = in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists= that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They ar= gued the accommodation was too restrictive , and it was cruel and inhumane = to put so many animals in a confined space. Then the Ministry of the Environment ruled that I couldn't build the Ark un= til they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration and Naturalisation are checking the Visa status of most of the = people who want to work. The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only = Union workers with Ark-building experience.[http://origin.ih.constantcontac= t.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/480.gif?a=3D1102312171247] To make matters worse, Revenue Australia seized all my assets, claiming I'm= trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish = this Ark.' Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched= across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy t= he world?' 'No,' said the Lord. 'The government beat me to it.' Grandfathers [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/2m5i5w5a.jpg]The notion of respon= sibility is at the crux of true fatherhood. The conscious sense of responsibility for the physical and spiritual well-being of others is the mark of a true father. Clayton Barbeau Single Dads Single Dads and Expectations[http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/7g5x2= a0e.jpg] by Ken Canfield If you're a recently divorced dad, be prepared to see a side of your kids = you've never seen before. Kids who have been through a divorce often act in= certain ways. As a single dad, you need to know what to watch for-and how = to respond. Here are some common things to look for, from Ken Parker and Van Jones in t= heir book, Every Other Weekend. First, kids sometimes take advantage of two different sets of house rules. = "Mom lets me do this at her house!" They may be telling the truth, or pulli= ng a scam. The best thing you can do is to help them understand that you're= going to stand behind your rules-and the values they represent. Express co= nfidence that they can adjust when they're staying with you. Second, your child may purposefully break your rules. Correct her in love, = but also use the opportunity. She could be expressing anger. Or she maybe t= esting your love and limits. In either case, be firm but gentle. Don't resp= ond in anger, instead talk with her about the way she's adjusting, what she= 's going through, and how you can help. Just listening may be all she reall= y needs. The third typical response is for a child to complain about someone at the = other household-his mother or stepfather. You need to be very discerning he= re. On the one hand, you're probably only hearing one side of the story. You co= uld try calling his mother-not to make accusations, but simply to communica= te what you've heard and gather facts. Often, getting the rest of the story= will give you a better appreciation for her point of view, and you'll be a= ble to back up her actions. On the other hand, what if your child has a legitimate concern? That phone = call to Mom could betray his trust, and could get him into trouble at home. These situations illustrate the importance of communicating with your child= . Does he need you to act on his behalf and look into the situation? Or doe= s he simply need someone to talk to? For all dads, regular healthy communication will build a trust level that's= going to come in handy when stresses and crises come along. For divorced d= ads, you've got to work at it twice as hard in half the time. May God bless= you. Ken Canfiels is the past CEO of the National Center for Fathering All You Need is Love [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/481.jpg?a= =3D1102312171247] FIREPROOF CONTINUES TO BURN AS OTHER FILMS FIZZLE (The Fatherhood Foundation is trying to find out when this film will be rel= eased in Australia) The Love Dare Book-Turned-Movement Sweeps Married America http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/ In the fifth week of its theatrical run FIREPROOF is still #11 at the box o= ffice though 22 films have opened wide since its debut. FIREPROOF retains = 80 percent of its original screens after five weeks, remarkable by Hollywoo= d Standards! Meanwhile, The Love Dare, published by B&H Publishing Group, enters its thi= rd week atop the NYT Bestseller=B9s List for paperback advice books. Keeping up with high demand, 1 million books will be in print within the we= ek. "FIREPROOF and The Love Dare's hand-in-hand success confirm a desire for a = great story that also delivers a meaningful message," said Kris Fuhr, VP of= marketing for Provident Films. "People leave the theater filled with hope = - for all the relationships in their lives. Given the current cultural cli= mate, this message of hope is clearly a resounding hit with audiences." THREE SAMPLE LOVE DARES Three sample 'love dares' USA TODAY Oct 30, 2008 The Love Dare offers 40 daily reflections and "dares" based on Scripture. For example: Day 3: Love is not selfish Today's dare: "Whatever you put your time, energy and money into will becom= e more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not invest= ing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse some= thing that says, 'I was thinking of you today.' " Day 23: Love always protects Today's dare: "Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any add= iction or influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart = away from your spouse." Day 37: Love agrees in prayer Today's dare: "Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk abou= t the best time to do this, whether it's in the morning, your lunch hour, o= r before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and= needs before the Lord. Don't forget to thank Him for His provision and ble= ssing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily = time in prayer yourself." Special Feature Barack Obama Father's Day Speech 18 June 2008 [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/485.jpg?a=3D= 1102312171247] ...Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today th= at family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor h= ow critical every father is to that foundation. They are teachers and coach= es. They are mentors and role models. They are examples of success and the = men who constantly push us toward it. But if we are honest with ourselves, we'll admit that what too many fathers= also are is missing - missing from too many lives and too many homes. They= have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. An= d the foundations of our families are weaker because of it... ...How many times in the last year has this city lost a child at the hands = of another child? How many times have our hearts stopped in the middle of t= he night with the sound of a gunshot or a siren? How many teenagers have we= seen hanging around on street corners when they should be sitting in a cla= ssroom? How many are sitting in prison when they should be working, or at l= east looking for a job? How many in this generation are we willing to lose = to poverty or violence or addiction? How many? Yes, we need more cops on the street. Yes, we need fewer guns in the hands = of people who shouldn't have them. Yes, we need more money for our schools,= and more outstanding teachers in the classroom, and more after-school prog= rams for our children. Yes, we need more jobs and more job training and mor= e opportunity in our communities. But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize= that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize th= at what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the coura= ge to raise one... ...I know the toll that being a single parent took on my mother - how she s= truggled at times to the pay bills; to give us the things that other kids h= ad; to play all the roles that both parents are supposed to play. And I kno= w the toll it took on me. So I resolved many years ago that it was my oblig= ation to break the cycle - that if I could be anything in life, I would be = a good father to my girls; that if I could give them anything, I would give= them that rock - that foundation - on which to build their lives. And that= would be the greatest gift I could offer. I say this knowing that I have been an imperfect father - knowing that I ha= ve made mistakes and will continue to make more; wishing that I could be ho= me for my girls and my wife more than I am right now. I say this knowing al= l of these things because even as we are imperfect, even as we face difficu= lt circumstances, there are still certain lessons we must strive to live an= d learn as fathers - whether we are black or white; rich or poor; from the = South Side or the wealthiest suburb... ...The first is setting an example of excellence for our children - because= if we want to set high expectations for them, we've got to set high expect= ations for ourselves. It's great if you have a job; it's even better if you= have a college degree. It's a wonderful thing if you are married and livin= g in a home with your children, but don't just sit in the house and watch "= Sports Center" all weekend long. That's why so many children are growing up= in front of the television. As fathers and parents, we've got to spend mor= e time with them, and help them with their homework, and replace the video = game or the remote control with a book once in awhile. That's how we build = that foundation. We know that education is everything to our children's future. We know that= they will no longer just compete for good jobs with children from Indiana,= but children from India and China and all over the world. We know the work= and the studying and the level of education that requires. You know, sometimes I'll go to an eighth-grade graduation and there's all t= hat pomp and circumstance and gowns and flowers. And I think to myself, it'= s just eighth grade. To really compete, they need to graduate high school, = and then they need to graduate college, and they probably need a graduate d= egree, too. An eighth-grade education doesn't cut it today. Let's give them= a handshake and tell them to get their butts back in the library! It's up to us - as fathers and parents - to instill this ethic of excellenc= e in our children. It's up to us to say to our daughters, don't ever let im= ages on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream witho= ut limit and reach for those goals. It's up to us to tell our sons, those s= ongs on the radio may glorify violence, but in my house we give glory to ac= hievement, self-respect and hard work. It's up to us to set these high expe= ctations. And that means meeting those expectations ourselves. That means s= etting examples of excellence in our own lives. The second thing we need to do as fathers is pass along the value of empath= y to our children. Not sympathy, but empathy - the ability to stand in some= body else's shoes; to look at the world through their eyes. Sometimes it's = so easy to get caught up in "us," that we forget about our obligations to o= ne another. There's a culture in our society that says remembering these ob= ligations is somehow soft - that we can't show weakness, and so therefore w= e can't show kindness. But our young boys and girls see that. They see when you are ignoring or mi= streating your wife. They see when you are inconsiderate at home; or when y= ou are distant; or when you are thinking only of yourself. And so it's no s= urprise when we see that behavior in our schools or on our streets. That's = why we pass on the values of empathy and kindness to our children by living= them. We need to show our kids that you're not strong by putting other peo= ple down - you're strong by lifting them up. That's our responsibility as f= athers... ...We should be making it easier for fathers who make responsible choices a= nd harder for those who avoid them. We should get rid of the financial pena= lties we impose on married couples right now, and start making sure that ev= ery dime of child support goes directly to helping children instead of some= bureaucrat. We should reward fathers who pay that child support with job t= raining and job opportunities and a larger Earned Income Tax Credit that ca= n help them pay the bills. We should expand programs where registered nurse= s visit expectant and new mothers and help them learn how to care for thems= elves before the baby is born and what to do after - programs that have hel= ped increase father involvement, women's employment and children's readines= s for school. We should help these new families care for their children by = expanding maternity and paternity leave, and we should guarantee every work= er more paid sick leave so they can stay home to take care of their child w= ithout losing their income. We should take all of these steps to build a strong foundation for our chil= dren. But we should also know that even if we do; even if we meet our oblig= ations as fathers and parents; even if Washington does its part, too, we wi= ll still face difficult challenges in our lives. There will still be days o= f struggle and heartache. The rains will still come and the winds will stil= l blow. And that is why the final lesson we must learn as fathers is also the great= est gift we can pass on to our children - and that is the gift of hope. I'm not talking about an idle hope that's little more than blind optimism o= r willful ignorance of the problems we face. I'm talking about hope as that= spirit inside us that insists, despite all evidence to the contrary, that = something better is waiting for us if we're willing to work for it and figh= t for it. If we are willing to believe.. . ...I've realized is that life doesn't count for much unless you're willing = to do your small part to leave our children - all of our children - a bette= r world. Even if it's difficult. Even if the work seems great. Even if we d= on't get very far in our lifetime. That is our ultimate responsibility as fathers and parents. We try. We hope= . We do what we can to build our house upon the sturdiest rock. And when th= e winds come, and the rains fall, and they beat upon that house, we keep fa= ith that our Father will be there to guide us, and watch over us, and prote= ct us, and lead His children through the darkest of storms into light of a = better day. That is my prayer for all of us on this Father's Day, and that = is my hope for this country in the years ahead. May God bless you and your = children. Thank you. Read the Transcript of Barack Obama's Father's Day speech here. News & Info [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/484.jpg?a=3D= 1102312171247] Parents Links NO TV for Tots "My kids have had no screen time to 30 months because there is no evidence = they can learn anything from TV that young," says Rich, director of Harvard= University's Centre for Media and Child Health, The Australian reports. My Family Comes First HAWTHORN premiership star Shane Crawford has chosen fatherhood over footbal= l, preferring to bow out on the perfect note of this year's Grand Final. [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/482.jpg?a=3D1= 102312171247] [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/483.jpg?a=3D1= 102312171247] International Men's Day International Men's Day will be celebrated around the world on 19th Novembe= r 2008.Please celebrate the day in any way you can. We have a website which= is now live at www.internationalmensday.com This site still has= some bugs, depending on your browser, although all the information is avai= lable. If you would like to help us populate the website and iron out the p= roblems, we would greatly appreciate your help. The Fatherhood Foundation receives no government funding and relies greatly= on the enthusiastic support of fathers everywhere. For more information co= ntact: info@fatherhood.org.au MEN4LIFE 11th November 2008 6pm - Nowra Youth Centre Speaker: Paul Smith - registered psychologist will talk about stress coping= strategies and dealing with stress in our day to day lives. Paul has worked with the NSW Netball team, NSW Rugby League Teams, NSW Swim= Squad, Sydney Kings and West Sydney Razorback basketball teams, as well as= the Sydney Swans. For more information contact simisterdavid@yahoo.com.au 0431 549 593 ________________________________________________________________ [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/474.gif?a=3D= 1102312171247] Keep up with Movember at the website ____________________________________________________ [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/488.jpg?a=3D1= 102312171247] National Day of Mourning and Compassion for abortion is to be held on Sunda= y 23rd November 2008 in Cities across Australia. Dads4Kids Dads4KIds Competition[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/11019383= 45415/img/402.jpg?a=3D1102312171247] Fatherhood Foundation is asking Australians to help Dads4Kids with their id= eas on how to solve the problems that Australian children face. Dads4Kids i= s an initiative of the Fatherhood Foundation which is a harm prevention cha= rity. Find out more information or enter the Dads4Kids Competition. View Community Service Announcements at:http://www.dads4kids.org.au/Media The comments on the Dads4Kids website keep coming in. Competition closes 30= th November 2008. Dear Dads4Kids I have never heard of you organisation until I saw the add on the tele toda= y. What a great thing that you are trying to achieve, the sad truth is that= not all kids will get a great start , but all we can do is try, I would li= ke to get more info and more involved in this as I feel that's the least we= can do for our children not only our son but maybe help some that are not = so fortunate to have a family. Chris Dad's Prayer [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/1n3i6q8o.jpg] Dear God Barack is right when he says: We need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize that Responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child, it's the courage to raise one. Give me that courage Because as Bob Dylan sings: I just can't make it by myself I'm a little too blind to see. Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in f= athering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, pr= otective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and thei= r children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax = Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. Forward email [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/safe_unsubscribe_logo.gif] This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org. Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(tm) | Pri= vacy Policy. Email Marketing= by [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/cc-logo-color-sm.gif] Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia --_000_1102312171247110193834541512118105163502scheduler_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
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10th November 2008 &nb= sp;    Inspiring Fathers = ;Encouraging Families Issue 325
The Courage to Raise a Child
=
Dear Brian,

Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email inform= ation service for fathers and families as we present the Courage = to Raise a Child

=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Fathers are Important
Laughter..Noah in Red Tape
Grandfathers...The Crux is Responsibility
Single Dads...Expectations
All You Need is Love..Fireproof is Coming
Special Feature...The President Elect
News & Info..Parents Links
Dads4Kids
Dad's Prayer..Families to Raise Children
Next Week&nb= sp;
 Love= in Action
 =09 =09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09
Quick Links
 Thought of the Week
3D"Barack But we also need families= to raise our children.
We need fathers to realize that responsibility= does not end at conception.
We need them to realize that what makes y= ou a man
is not the ability to have a child -
it's the courage = to raise one.
 
President Elect Barack Obama
 
Frontline
3D"Barack
I ha= ve been watching the progress of the USA elections with profound interest a= long with many other Australians. Whatever happens in America still has a h= uge effect on the rest of the world.
 
Greg Sheridan, one of= Australia's most well-versed political correspondents, lamented about the = reality that this election, more than any other, has been about the cult of= celebrity. USA presidential elections have been going this way for years. = Unfortunately the political process in Australia is becoming more of the sa= me. It's all about looks. It's all about externals. Style always triumphs o= ver substance. We desperately need more statesmen and fewer politicians: me= n and women who are committed to what is right and what is best, not just w= hat is politically expedient.
 
Barack Obama has won the Pre= sidential Election and we at the Fatherhood Foundation wish him the best wi= th the difficult job that lies ahead. Our hope is that he delivers on the m= any speeches that he has made over the last several months.
 
On Fathers Day, 18th June 2008, Barack Obama made a speech at the Church = of God in Chicago's Southside. We reprint an edited version in Special Feat= ure. Obama grew up without a father in a single parent household and you ca= n't help but feel that his words are heartfelt when he says that fathers ar= e important. His speech is definitely worth the read. Here is an extract: 
Good morning. It's good to be home on this Father's Day= with my girls, and it's an honor to spend some time with all of you today = in the house of our Lord.

At the end of the Sermon on the Mount,= Jesus closes by saying, "Whoever hears these words of mine, and does them,= shall be likened to a wise man who built his house upon a rock: and the ra= in descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that h= ouse, and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock." [Matthew 7: 24-25].= ..

Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are remind= ed today that family is the most important. And we are called to recognize = and honor how critical every father is to that foundation. They are teacher= s and coaches. They are mentors and role models. They are examples of succe= ss and the men who constantly push us toward it....

But if we ar= e honest with ourselves, we'll admit that what too many fathers also are&nb= sp;missing - missing from too many lives and too many homes. They have aban= doned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foun= dations of our families are weaker because of it. 

You and = I know how true this is in the African-American community. We know that mor= e than half of all black children live in single-parent households, a numbe= r that has doubled - doubled - since we were children. We know the statisti= cs - that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely = to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of = schools and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. They are more likely = to have behavioral problems, or run away from home or become teenage parent= s themselves. And the foundations of our community are weaker because of it= ....
But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers = to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to = realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's= the courage to raise one.....

Still, I know the toll that being= a single parent took on my mother - how she struggled at times to the pay = bills; to give us the things that other kids had; to play all the roles tha= t both parents are supposed to play. And I know the toll it took on me. So = I resolved many years ago that it was my obligation to break the cycle - th= at if I could be anything in life, I would be a good father to my girls; th= at if I could give them anything, I would give them that rock - that founda= tion - on which to build their lives. And that would be the greatest gift I= could offer.
 
Lovewor= k
 
Become the greatest gift to your childre= n, because you are your children's foundation.
 
Yours for g= reat foundations
Warwick Marsh
 
PS International Mens = Day(www.internationalmensday.com)= is coming up on Wednesday 19th November and I need someone to help me run = the website who is passionate for men and families, someone who wants to ma= ke the world a better place, is internet savvy and be able to make friends = around the globe via email and telephone.
 
We have the= website at www.internationalmensday.= com but it still needs more work in the next few days.
 
Email me if you can help at info@fatherhood.org.au 
=
____________________________________________________________________
Warwick = Marsh  has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is t= he grandfather of two children and father of five children, four boys and o= ne girl, ranging in age from 27 years to 15 years.  Warwick is a = musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can= still laugh at himself.
Link of the Week

 Obama Fathers Day Speech

Laughter
=
 3D"Noahs
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now liv= ing in Melbourne, Australia, and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wi= cked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good= humans.'

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, 'You have 6 month= s to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40= nights.'

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah we= eping in his yard - but no Ark.

'Noah!' He roared , 'I'm about t= o start the rain! Where is the Ark?'

'Forgive me, Lord,' begged = Noah, 'but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been argui= ng with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours = claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark = in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the VCAT f= or a decision.

Then Alinta demanded a bond be posted for the fut= ure costs of
moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to cl= ear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea wou= ld be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting t= he wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order = to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I n= eeded the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gath= ering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.

They insisted= that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the acco= mmodation was too restrictive , and it was cruel and inhumane to put so man= y animals in a confined space.

Then the Ministry of the Environm= ent ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environme= ntal impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to re= solve a complaint with the Human Rights
Commission on how many minorit= ies I'm supposed to hire for my
building crew.

Immigration = and Naturalisation are checking the Visa status of most of the people who w= ant to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They ins= ist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.3D"Red

To make matters worse,= Revenue Australia seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the c= ountry illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, = but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.'

= Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched= across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean y= ou're not going to destroy the world?'

'No,' said the Lord. 'The= government beat me to it.' 
 
Grandfathers
 
The notion of responsibility is at the crux of true fath= erhood.
The conscious sense of responsibility
for the physical an= d spiritual well-being of others
is the mark of a true father.
&n= bsp;
Clayton Barbeau
  
 
=
Single Dads
Single Dads and Expectation= s
by Ken Canfield

 If you're a recently divorced dad, be prepared to see a si= de of your kids you've never seen before. Kids who have been through a divo= rce often act in certain ways. As a single dad, you need to know what to wa= tch for-and how to respond.

Here are some common things to look = for, from Ken Parker and Van Jones in their book, Every Other Weekend.

First, kids sometimes take advantage of two different sets of house = rules. "Mom lets me do this at her house!" They may be telling the truth, o= r pulling a scam. The best thing you can do is to help them understand that= you're going to stand behind your rules-and the values they represent. Exp= ress confidence that they can adjust when they're staying with you.
Second, your child may purposefully break your rules. Correct her in lo= ve, but also use the opportunity. She could be expressing anger. Or she may= be testing your love and limits. In either case, be firm but gentle. Don't = respond in anger, instead talk with her about the way she's adjusting, what= she's going through, and how you can help. Just listening may be all she r= eally needs.
The third typical response is for a child to complain abo= ut someone at the other household-his mother or stepfather. You need to be = very discerning here.

On the one hand, you're probably only hear= ing one side of the story. You could try calling his mother-not to make acc= usations, but simply to communicate what you've heard and gather facts. Oft= en, getting the rest of the story will give you a better appreciation for h= er point of view, and you'll be able to back up her actions.

On = the other hand, what if your child has a legitimate concern? That phone cal= l to Mom could betray his trust, and could get him into trouble at home.
These situations illustrate the importance of communicating with y= our child. Does he need you to act on his behalf and look into the situatio= n? Or does he simply need someone to talk to?

For all dads, regu= lar healthy communication will build a trust level that's going to come in = handy when stresses and crises come along. For divorced dads, you've got to= work at it twice as hard in half the time. May God bless you.

K= en Canfiels is the past CEO of the National Center for Fathering
All You Nee= d is Love
 
  <= img height=3D"204" name=3D"ACCOUNT.IMAGE.481" border=3D"0" width=3D"492" co= ntenteditable=3D"false" alt=3D"Fireproof" src=3D"http://origin.ih.constantc= ontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/481.jpg?a=3D1102312171247">
  
FIREPROOF CONTINUES TO BURN= AS OTHER FILMS FIZZLE
(The Fatherhood Foundation is t= rying to find out when this film will be released in Australia)
 =
The Love Dare Book-Turned-Movement Sweeps Married America
http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/  = ;
 
In the fifth week of its theatrical run FIREPROOF is st= ill #11 at the box office though 22 films have opened wide since its debut.=   FIREPROOF retains 80 percent of its original screens after five week= s, remarkable by Hollywood Standards!
 
Meanwhile, The Love= Dare, published by B&H Publishing Group, enters its third week atop the NY= T Bestseller=B9s List for paperback advice books.
Keeping up with high= demand, 1 million books will be in print within the week.
 
"FIREPROOF and The Love Dare's hand-in-hand success confirm a desire for a= great story that also delivers a meaningful message," said Kris Fuhr, VP o= f marketing for Provident Films. "People leave the theater filled with hope=   - for all the relationships in their lives. Given the current cultur= al climate, this message of hope is clearly a resounding hit with audiences= ."
 
THREE SAMPLE LOVE DARES
Three sample 'love dares'<= br />USA TODAY
Oct 30, 2008
 
The Love Dare offers 40 = daily reflections and "dares" based on Scripture.
For example:
&n= bsp;
Day 3: Love is not selfish
 
Today's dare: "Whatev= er you put your time, energy and money into will become more important to y= ou. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with re= straining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, 'I w= as thinking of you today.' "
 
Day 23: Love always protects<= br /> 
Today's dare: "Remove anything that is hindering your rela= tionship, any addiction or influence that's stealing your affections and tu= rning your heart away from your spouse."
 
Day 37: Love agre= es in prayer
 
Today's dare: "Ask your spouse if you can beg= in praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it's in t= he morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit you= r concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don't forget to thank= Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this= , resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself."
  
 
=09

Special Feature

 Barack Obama Father's Day Speech= 18 June 2008
 3D"Barack
...Of all the rocks upon w= hich we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most impo= rtant. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father i= s to that foundation. They are teachers and coaches. They are mentors and r= ole models. They are examples of success and the men who constantly push us= toward it.

But if we are honest with ourselves, we'll admit th= at what too many fathers also are is missing - missing from too many lives = and too many homes. They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like= boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker becaus= e of it...
 
...How many times in the last year has this cit= y lost a child at the hands of another child? How many times have our heart= s stopped in the middle of the night with the sound of a gunshot or a siren= ? How many teenagers have we seen hanging around on street corners when the= y should be sitting in a classroom? How many are sitting in prison when the= y should be working, or at least looking for a job? How many in this genera= tion are we willing to lose to poverty or violence or addiction? How many? =

Yes, we need more cops on the street. Yes, we need fewer guns i= n the hands of people who shouldn't have them. Yes, we need more money for = our schools, and more outstanding teachers in the classroom, and more after= -school programs for our children. Yes, we need more jobs and more job trai= ning and more opportunity in our communities.

But we also need = families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize that responsibil= ity does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you= a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the courage to raise one..= .


...I know the toll that being a single parent took on my= mother - how she struggled at times to the pay bills; to give us the thing= s that other kids had; to play all the roles that both parents are supposed= to play. And I know the toll it took on me. So I resolved many years ago t= hat it was my obligation to break the cycle - that if I could be anything i= n life, I would be a good father to my girls; that if I could give them any= thing, I would give them that rock - that foundation - on which to build th= eir lives. And that would be the greatest gift I could offer.
 I say this knowing that I have been an imperfect father - knowing that = I have made mistakes and will continue to make more; wishing that I could b= e home for my girls and my wife more than I am right now. I say this knowin= g all of these things because even as we are imperfect, even as we face dif= ficult circumstances, there are still certain lessons we must strive to liv= e and learn as fathers - whether we are black or white; rich or poor; from = the South Side or the wealthiest suburb...
 
...The first is= setting an example of excellence for our children - because if we want to = set high expectations for them, we've got to set high expectations for ours= elves. It's great if you have a job; it's even better if you have a college= degree. It's a wonderful thing if you are married and living in a home wit= h your children, but don't just sit in the house and watch "Sports Center" = all weekend long. That's why so many children are growing up in front of th= e television. As fathers and parents, we've got to spend more time with the= m, and help them with their homework, and replace the video game or the rem= ote control with a book once in awhile. That's how we build that foundation= .

We know that education is everything to our children's future= . We know that they will no longer just compete for good jobs with children= from Indiana, but children from India and China and all over the world. We= know the work and the studying and the level of education that requires. <= br />
You know, sometimes I'll go to an eighth-grade graduation and th= ere's all that pomp and circumstance and gowns and flowers. And I think to = myself, it's just eighth grade. To really compete, they need to graduate hi= gh school, and then they need to graduate college, and they probably need a= graduate degree, too. An eighth-grade education doesn't cut it today. Let'= s give them a handshake and tell them to get their butts back in the librar= y!

It's up to us - as fathers and parents - to instill this eth= ic of excellence in our children. It's up to us to say to our daughters, do= n't ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you= to dream without limit and reach for those goals. It's up to us to tell ou= r sons, those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in my house we g= ive glory to achievement, self-respect and hard work. It's up to us to set = these high expectations. And that means meeting those expectations ourselve= s. That means setting examples of excellence in our own lives.
 <= br />The second thing we need to do as fathers is pass along the value of e= mpathy to our children. Not sympathy, but empathy - the ability to stand in= somebody else's shoes; to look at the world through their eyes. Sometimes = it's so easy to get caught up in "us," that we forget about our obligations= to one another. There's a culture in our society that says remembering the= se obligations is somehow soft - that we can't show weakness, and so theref= ore we can't show kindness.

But our young boys and girls see th= at. They see when you are ignoring or mistreating your wife. They see when = you are inconsiderate at home; or when you are distant; or when you are thi= nking only of yourself. And so it's no surprise when we see that behavior i= n our schools or on our streets. That's why we pass on the values of empath= y and kindness to our children by living them. We need to show our kids tha= t you're not strong by putting other people down - you're strong by lifting= them up. That's our responsibility as fathers...

...We should = be making it easier for fathers who make responsible choices and harder for= those who avoid them. We should get rid of the financial penalties we impo= se on married couples right now, and start making sure that every dime of c= hild support goes directly to helping children instead of some bureaucrat. = We should reward fathers who pay that child support with job training and j= ob opportunities and a larger Earned Income Tax Credit that can help them p= ay the bills. We should expand programs where registered nurses visit expec= tant and new mothers and help them learn how to care for themselves before = the baby is born and what to do after - programs that have helped increase = father involvement, women's employment and children's readiness for school.= We should help these new families care for their children by expanding mat= ernity and paternity leave, and we should guarantee every worker more paid = sick leave so they can stay home to take care of their child without losing= their income.

We should take all of these steps to build a str= ong foundation for our children. But we should also know that even if we do= ; even if we meet our obligations as fathers and parents; even if Washingto= n does its part, too, we will still face difficult challenges in our lives.= There will still be days of struggle and heartache. The rains will still c= ome and the winds will still blow.

And that is why the final le= sson we must learn as fathers is also the greatest gift we can pass on to o= ur children - and that is the gift of hope.

I'm not talking abo= ut an idle hope that's little more than blind optimism or willful ignorance= of the problems we face. I'm talking about hope as that spirit inside us t= hat insists, despite all evidence to the contrary, that something better is= waiting for us if we're willing to work for it and fight for it. If we are= willing to believe.. .
 
...I've realized is that life does= n't count for much unless you're willing to do your small part to leave our= children - all of our children - a better world. Even if it's difficult. E= ven if the work seems great. Even if we don't get very far in our lifetime.=

That is our ultimate responsibility as fathers and parents. We= try. We hope. We do what we can to build our house upon the sturdiest rock= . And when the winds come, and the rains fall, and they beat upon that hous= e, we keep faith that our Father will be there to guide us, and watch over = us, and protect us, and lead His children through the darkest of storms int= o light of a better day. That is my prayer for all of us on this Father's D= ay, and that is my hope for this country in the years ahead. May God bless = you and your children. Thank you.
 
Read the Transcript of Barack Obama's Father's Day speech here. =   
News & Info
=
 3D"Baby
Parents Links  =20
 
 
 =20
 
"My kids have had no screen time to 30 months because there is no evid= ence they can learn anything from TV that young," says Rich, director of Ha= rvard University's Centre for Media and Child Health, The Australian r= eports.
 
My Family Comes First
 
HAWTHORN premiership star Shane Crawford has chosen fatherhood over fo= otball, preferring to bow out on the perfect note of this year's Grand Fina= l.
 

 
3D"International
 
3D"Men"
<= strong>International Men's Day
International Men's Day w= ill be celebrated around the world on 19th November 2008.Please celebrate t= he day in any way you can. We have a website which is now live at www.internationalmensday.com   This= site still has some bugs, depending on your browser, although all the info= rmation is available. If you would like to help us populate the website and= iron out the problems, we would greatly appreciate your help.
 <= br />The Fatherhood Foundation receives no government funding and relies gr= eatly on the enthusiastic support of fathers everywhere. For more informati= on contact: inf= o@fatherhood.org.au

 
 
MEN4LIFE
11th  November 2008
6pm =  - Nowra Youth Centre
Speaker: Paul Smith - registered psychologi= st will talk about stress coping strategies and dealing with stress in= our day to day lives.
Paul has worked with the NSW Netball team, NSW= Rugby League Teams, NSW Swim Squad, Sydney Kings and West Sydney Razorback= basketball teams, as well as the Sydney Swans.
For more information = contact sim= isterdavid@yahoo.com.au  0431 549 593 
 
 = ;


________________________________________________________________=
 
 3D"Movember
 Keep up with Movember at the webs= ite =20
 
____________________________________________________
3D"Abortion
 
 
 
 
 
National Day of Mourning a= nd Compassion for abortion is to be held on Sunday 23rd= November 2008 in Cities across Australia. 
 
 
=
Dads4Kids
 Dads4KIds  Competition3D"Dads4Kids"
 =20

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Fatherhood Foundation is asking Australians to help Dads4K= ids with their ideas on how to solve the problems that Aus= tralian children face. Dads4Kids is an initiative of the Fatherhood Foundat= ion which is a harm prevention charity. Find out more information or enter = the Dads4Kids Competition.    
View Community Service A= nnouncements at:http://www.dads4kids.= org.au/Media     
 
 
The comments on the Dads4Kids website keep coming in. Competition closes 3= 0th November 2008.
 
Dear Dads4Kids
I have never heard = of you organisation until I saw the add on the tele today. What a great thi= ng that you are trying to achieve, the sad truth is that not all kids will = get a great start , but all we can do is try, I would like to get more info= and more involved in this as I feel that's the least we can do for our chi= ldren not only our son but maybe help some that are not so fortunate to hav= e a family.
Chris

Dad's Prayer

           &nbs= p;       
   =20
Dear God
 
Barack is right when he says:
We need f= amilies to raise our children.
We need fathers to realize that
R= esponsibility does not end at conception.
We need them to realize
that what makes you a man
is not the ability to have a child,
it= 's the courage to raise one.
Give me that courage
Because as Bob= Dylan sings:
I just can't make it by myself
I'm a little too bli= nd to see.
 

    
=09
=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be = emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)

 Westpac Branch Wollongong      &nb= sp;            =   DONATE ONLINE

BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW&nbs= p; 2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

=09
=09
=09
3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by in= fo@fathersonline.org.
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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