Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au (130.130.68.31) by staffmail.uow.edu.au (10.5.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server id 8.1.336.0; Sun, 14 Dec 2008 09:48:56 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1LBdI7-0006XK-Fh for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 14 Dec 2008 09:48:55 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.10.3-GA) with ESMTP id QAN70596; Sun, 14 Dec 2008 09:48:50 +1100 (EST) Received: from p2-ws508.ad.prodcc.net (unknown [10.252.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 3D1C918609FF for ; Sat, 13 Dec 2008 17:30:46 -0500 (EST) From: Fatherhood Foundation To: Brian Lane Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2008 09:32:02 +1100 Subject: The Bucket List Thread-Topic: The Bucket List Thread-Index: AclddPr6ifiopBSoR4CKEK2d/IJGYg== Message-ID: <1102359703931.1101938345415.1211.8.126173019@scheduler> List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykduMbyQks4BniXYVVfdzA7g== Reply-To: "info@fathersonline.org" Accept-Language: en-AU, en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthAs: Anonymous X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthSource: excasht01.ad.uow.edu.au X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: x-junkmail-status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au x-junkmail-sd-raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A150205.49443BD7.003F:SCFMA772204,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2008-09-22 23:22:13, dmn=5.4.3/2007-10-18, mode=single engine x-junkmail-iwf: false x-return-path-hint: ESC1102359703931_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com x-roving-id: 1101938345415.1211 x-lumos-senderid: 1101938345415 x-roving-campaignid: 1102359703931 x-roving-streamid: 0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_1102359703931110193834541512118126173019scheduler_" MIME-Version: 1.0 --_000_1102359703931110193834541512118126173019scheduler_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/526.gif?a=3D1= 102359703931] 15th December 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Iss= ue 330 [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/1101093164665/people3_header= 1.jpg] The Bucket List Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for fathers and families as we present The Bucket List. In This Issue Frontline...Go out in style Link...Find the Joy Laughter..Poem for Mum & Dad Grandfathers...Valuable Resource Single Dads...What has changed ? All You Need is Love..Trust & Control Special Feature...Goal Setting News & Info..Parents Links Dad's Prayer..Help me find the Joy Next Week Father Christmas Join our Mailing List! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/ftf_btn_1.gif] Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation Lone Fathers Fatherhood Project Fatherhood Institute UK Marriage Education 100 Good Men Salt Shakers Civitas UK Bruce Robinson CSA Adverts Thought of the Week [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/524.jpg?a=3D1= 102359703931] Find the joy in your life. Carter (Morgan Freeman) in 'The Bucket List' Frontline [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/523.jpg?a=3D1= 102359703931] "You only live once, so why not go out in style? That's what two cancer wa= rd roommates, an irascible billionaire (Jack Nicholson) and a scholarly mec= hanic (Morgan Freeman) decide when they get the bad news. They compose a bu= cket list - things to do before you kick the bucket - and head off for the = around-the-world adventure of their lives. Sky dive? Check. Power a Shelby = Mustang around a racetrack? Check. Gaze at the Great Pyramid of Khufu? Chec= k. Discover the joy in their lives before it's too late? Check!" These are the words found on the cover of the 'Bucket List', available at y= our corner video store. They have been crafted by the best copywriters in t= he world, and I just can't compete with such an adroit description of the '= Bucket List'. For a Hollywood movie, it is remarkably honest, not totally t= ruth-serum material, but certainly getting close. The movie opens with Morg= an Freeman speaking about death and his irascible friend's passing. "It's difficult to understand the sum of a person's life. Some people will = tell you it's measured by the ones left behind, some believe it can be meas= ured in faith, some say by love. Other folks say life has no meaning at all= . Me? I believe you measure yourself by the people who measure themselves b= y you. What I can tell you for sure, that by any measure Edward Cole (the c= antankerous billionaire played by Jack Nicholson) lived more in his last da= ys on earth than most people manage to wring out of a life time. I know tha= t when he died his eyes were closed and his heart was open." This speech gives us a clue that although claiming to be a comedy, this mov= ie deals comprehensively with the challenge that will befall all of us soon= er or later, and how we must address the moments we live in, and the broade= r questions posed by eternity. I guess it is clever marketing to call it a comedy, after all few would go = see a movie about dying if they didn't. As for me, I would have to be with = those who would encourage you to get hold of the DVD and look past the infr= equent coarse language (M Rating) because the story is well told and well a= cted. When you get two of the best actors in the business working together = you know something's gotta give. The parachute jump, the car race and the exotic travel provide the backdrop= for the much deeper questions of Edward Cole's reluctance to reconcile wit= h his estranged daughter. On the other hand Mr Carter (Morgan Freeman) must= come to terms with his lacklustre marriage and find that 'love is stronger= than death' although he is finally unable to consummate the love he feels = which, in a sense, as men, is the tragedy we all face from time to time. The words of Paul Simon's song come to mind, 'Slip-sliding away, slip-slidi= ng away, the nearer your destination the more you're slip-sliding away'. I know this is true because I so often fail in my quest for love. The main thing is to get back up again. Although there will come a time whe= n death will prevent that. That is why it is so important to live in the mo= ment and find the joy in your life. Lovework Live in the moment with your family. We all fail in this, but it doesn't me= an we should stop trying. To live in the moment we must meet the Lord of th= e moment, and that my friend, is a life well lived. Yours for a life well lived Warwick Marsh PS You might notice that we have changed the title of our newsletters to in= troduce 'Dads4Kids' to our masthead, as we believe this is an apt descripti= on of what the Fatherhood Foundation is all about. As Morgan Freeman said in the 'Bucket List' about the question, 'How do you= measure a man's life?', "I believe you measure yourself by the people who = measure themselves by you." Our children are the ones we live for, and they= are the ones who look to us to provide leadership that they can aspire to. The name 'Dads4Kids' is the easiest way to say that one day you and I will = be gone and our children will have to carry the flame in our stead. We are = merely helping them for a moment. The changing of the newsletter masthead also signifies the end of the Dads4= Kids Competition which had approximately 600 entries, on how to best help t= he children of Australia and ultimately the world. How exciting!!! We also welcome the many new subscribers to our Dads4Kids Fatherhood Founda= tion Newsletter. We trust you find this weekly newsletter an inspiration to= be the best dad you can possible be for your children. Should this newsletter not rise to your high level of expectation as a dad = - remember the unsubscribe button is only one click away. All the best from the team at the Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation newslette= r. ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 33 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ran= ging in age from 28 years to 16 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himsel= f. Link of the Week The Bucket List Find the Joy Laughter Poem for Mum & dad [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/110193834= 5415/img/521.jpg?a=3D1102359703931] Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my sanity to keep. For if some peace I do not find, I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind. I pray I find a little quiet Far from the daily family riot May I lie back--not have to think about what they're stuffing down the sink, or who they're with, or where they're at and what they're doing to the cat. I pray for time all to myself (did something just fall off a shelf?) To cuddle in my nice, soft bed (Oh no, another goldfish--dead!) Some silent moments for goodness sake (Did I just hear a window break?) And that I need not cook or clean-- (well heck, I've got the right to dream) Yes now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my wits about me keep, But as I look around I know-- I must have lost them long ago! Grandfathers [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/0g4s8n0n.jpg] Children are our most valuable natural resource. Herbert Hoover Single Dads What has Changed??? Please Tell Me! By Tony Miller www.dadsindistress.asn.au [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/f= s007/1101938345415/img/527.jpg?a=3D1102359703931] I would like to inform you of just a few cases that have come across my des= k of recently. One is about a dad who has 50/50 shared parenting of his children on a week= on/week off basis. He informed CSA of the arrangement and CSA contacted hi= s wife who denied this was the case. To cut a long story short after protes= ting the fact, contacting CSA and Centrelink on numerous occasions, providi= ng proof and referees - he found that it was of no use. CSA just would not = believe him. So on the days he had his children, this poor dad had no other= avenue to pursue then to turn up to the local CSA office and produce his k= ids on the days he had them. "See here they are and they are with me". He d= id this for four days and then on the 5th day the manager of the local CSA = office came out and said, "If you come back tomorrow with the kids I will r= eport you for child abuse!" Understanding this was not in the best interest= s of the children, he decided not to return. He didn't want to do it in the= first place but what choice did he have to prove that he had the children = in his custody? He had already produced to them enough evidence. It just wa= sn't enough in their eyes. Another is about a guy who has a trucking business in South East Queensland= . He leases 7 trucks. The ATO assessed him of a taxable income of around $5= 0,000. They have already assessed that some of his fuel is private, some of= his phone bills are private etc etc. We all know the ATO don't miss a tric= k. But then along comes the CSA and says, "Hold on we assess you as earning= $70,000." How is it that one Government department assesses you as earning= this much, yet another says, "No we won't accept that?" In raising the mat= ter with the CSA they tell me, "But Tony these business people have sophist= icated schemes, family trusts etc." HOGWASH! I am not talking about people = in multi-million dollar businesses, I am talking about the average Joe who = is trying to make ends meet, trying to do the right thing, trying to surviv= e. Small businesses are the backbone of this nation. As this bloke said, "I= am just at the point of parking the 7 trucks outside the CSA office and th= rowing the keys of all of them on their desk and saying, "Well there you ar= e, you can have the bl**dy lot, you have put me out of business, and by the= way don't forget next months lease payments"." And yet another, this story is about a beekeeper, now I am sure this bloke = has got some sophisticated schemes going on. Listen to this! He is living in a drought affected area. He says his hive produces approx 1= 00 litres of honey, the DPI says on a good year the maximum you can get is = 120 litres. The ATO assesses him on what he says, but hold on his wife tell= s the CSA he is producing 220 litres. Now who do you think CSA is going to = believe? The beekeeper, the DPI? Maybe the bees? And how about this. A senior public servant divorces, remarries, has anothe= r family, pays his child support for his two children from his previous rel= ationship. His ex-wife, who also has a very good job, remarries and down th= e track decides to have another baby to her NEW husband. All is good. But b= ecause she decides she doesn't want to work anymore, she wants to spend tim= e at home with the new baby, nothing wrong with that, but oops what happens= to her ex-husband? Now she is deemed as having a nil income his child supp= ort rises 1100%. Yes 1100%. She has decided 3 years down the track to have = another child. All good and fair, except to her former husband, who will co= ntinue to pay for her sea change. It's kind of like HE is paying for her ma= ternity leave isn't it? These are but a few of the cases that come across my desk. Often I wonder j= ust what has changed. I was on the reference group to the Taskforce that ma= de recommendations to the previous Government culminating in the current re= form. Often I wish I wasn't. Recently I attended the Child Support National Stakeholders Engagement Grou= p CSNSEG with whom I am a member in Canberra. Minister Macklin also attende= d and addressed the group. I asked the Minister this question. Is this Government prepared to adequately fund the current Family Relations= hip Centres and Contact Centres ? Reports we know as true are that there is a huge time-lag in accessing the = services. For example, Dads are being ordered through the courts to see the= ir children in Contact Centres. I have been told just this morning that at = Kirrawee NSW Contact Centre there is an 8 month waiting period. Yes 8 month= s! So dad has to wait 8 bl**dy months to see his kids. What is going on her= e? Is that fair on dad? Is that fair on his children? We have reports from = Sydney, from Qld, from rural - all the same. Often these centres are not op= en on weekends because they cannot afford the overtime. Hold on - when do most dads get to see their kids? On WEEKENDS? Wake UP!!!!!!!! The Family Relationship Centres are not in much better shape with waiting t= imes at the crucial time when relationships all go belly up. You need to se= e someone and you need to see them now, rather then later. Possibly it's a = chance to even save the relationship if people can get in early. But 2, 3, = 4 months etc? You may as well just post them the divorce papers and save yo= ur money. I have asked the question on many occasions, "Is it true there is= a spike in DVO or abuse allegations in so many being referred to contact c= entre visits and is this a ploy as I have heard from Family Law Practitione= rs to bypass the current system and go straight to court?" Let's face it, t= he lawyers are losing millions. I have also asked the question time and tim= e again, "How many dads that are relegated to seeing their kids at a Contac= t Centre because of abuse or Domestic violence allegations are actually PRO= VEN to be violent in the end?" No Answer! I have also raised the question in CSNSEG re the Denial of court ordered ac= cess to our children. This continues on a major scale and our concerns fall= on deaf ears. When is the Government going to take denial of court ordered access as brea= king the law and when are we going to see the same energy commitment and fi= nancials put into compliance of court orders as Government so readily ensur= es with Child Support? No Answer! Finally, but sadly, at the last CSNSEG meeting a senior CSA manager when re= porting to the group around Child Support debt, stated to my amazement that= a big percentage of the CSA Debt was attributed to DEATH but that it still= is collated into the debt data that is published. So is overseas debt. So before the media jumps down our throat next time with percentages and am= ounts, it would be invaluable to know just how much is actually owed by Aus= tralian Fathers and how much is actually attributed to overseas? As I said,= SADLY, what is the amount of debt that is still be calculated in the case = of DEATH? Sadly Death by suicide of males is still a major issue. But is anyone listening anymore? Tony Miller dids All You Need is Love [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/529.jpg?a=3D1= 102359703931] Trust & Control All relationships, no matter how loving, are vulnerable to power imbalances= . Rather than cause for despair, these imbalances give us the opportunity f= or exceptional loving. Desire Discrepancy Whenever there is a difference in desire for a particular aspect of a coupl= e's shared life, there is likely to be a power imbalance. When one spouse h= as a greater need or desire than the other for something in the relationshi= p, that spouse is vulnerable to domination, manipulation and control by the= other. Mishandled, such an experience destroys trust and erodes the couple= 's intimacy. Realistically, every relationship will have 'desire discrepancies' in one o= r more areas. The challenge is for couples to manage their differences in d= esire so that they avoid habitually destructive relationship patterns and t= he accumulation of unresolved hurt and resentment. When it comes to emotional connection and intimacy, men and women will typi= cally experience significant desire discrepancies. For men, emotional conne= ction is biased towards physical expressions (including s*xual intercourse)= , while women will more typically be biased towards verbal expressions. Western society has pretty much reduced s*x to a mere activity. For example= , we talk about 'doing it', or we may say 'let's have s*x'. These are deper= sonalised, activity focused expressions and are very different to saying, '= I would like to make love with you'. In truth, s*x is a communication, a p= owerful body language. Our bodies are continuously expressing in the physic= al what is happening internally in the spiritual through our posture, gestu= res and facial expressions. As such, all body language has meaning. S*x say= s with the body the vows made at the altar on the wedding day: "I freely gi= ve myself to you; I give all that I am, body and soul; I give myself to you= and you alone; and, I desire to be permanently united with you through our= children." S*x then is a confirmation and a renewal of the wedding vows. = Every time we give ourselves to each other in s*xual union, we are speaking= the words of our wedding vows in and through our bodies. Similarly, perceptions of verbal communication can also be distorted by exp= eriences of shallow and soulless chatter. Just like s*x, verbal communicati= on can range from the shallowness of clich=E9d conversation to a deeply ope= n and honest exchange with an empathetic communion. What many mistakenly be= lieve is good marital communication is really only good coordination. Good coordination means that we are efficient in keeping each other up to d= ate on what everyone is doing in the family, about plans for the coming wee= k and who needs to be where: but this kind of conversation does little to a= chieve communion of body and soul, the essence of intimate communication. M= ost of our daily conversation is about the transfer of information; there i= s no sincere emotional sharing, and no genuine emotional union. This is not= to say that there is no place for this kind of information-based conversat= ion, only that it is insufficient if we want to enjoy the intimacy and bond= ing for which we long. Whether it is s*x or conversation, there can be no 'communion', no genuine = intimacy, unless there is emotional vulnerability and empathy. Time Out: Identify the areas of desire discrepancy in your marriage (eg rec= reational companionship, privacy, solitude, verbal intimacy, s*xual intimac= y, domestic order, financial security, affection, affirmation/admiration). = Discuss together. =A9 2008 Celebrate Love Australia. Editor's Note: the use of * is merely to help get this article to you and n= ot be held up by internet filtering systems. Special Feature 'Goal Setting For Your Family' By John Nolan Dads Uni [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/528.jpg?a=3D1= 102359703931] It is important to know where you want to go as a family, where you want to= be in 20-30 years time, in the many different areas of family life. Nobody= packs a car to go on a holiday with their suitcases and surfboards, their = roller skates and footballs, without first having made some plans of where = they want to go. If we did that, we may be considered 'a little strange', y= et many of us have no real plan where our family is going in life. Notice I= said 'no real plan' and not 'no real idea', as these two words mean totall= y different things. We all have many ideas floating around in our heads, probably some good ide= as and bad ones too, but an idea will only ever be an idea until it manifes= ts in the natural world. Have you ever heard of a new invention on the mark= et and thought "Gee I had that idea years ago", "I wish I'd followed it thr= ough!" The difference was that the inventor actually took the idea and made= it real in the natural world, and because he did he is now reaping the ben= efits of the idea. Goal setting for your family is the first step toward developing a plan or = strategy about where you want to be in the future. To take it beyond the id= ea stage and write it down on paper initiates the process of bringing it to= pass. Note that I said 'process' and not one time 'event'. Goal setting is= like laying down a railway track that you want your family to run on. It g= ives you an element of certainty and assurance that you will ultimately arr= ive at your destination, and not end up in Perth if you are aiming for Tasm= ania. To begin goal setting for your family, it is important to get some input fr= om every member of the family if possible, especially your wife. Discuss yo= ur hopes and dreams openly, and don't hold back or overly rationalise initi= ally. Dream a big dream, believe for the very best for your family, in ever= y area you can think of. The more detailed your life goals are the better, = as in going through this process you will draw out from your heart the thin= gs that really matter to you. Suggested Action: Write down your goals for every area of your life: Physical (health) Financial Relational (marriage/family) Assets you want to acquire Holidays you want to go on Spiritual positioning with God, etc. Also do a simplified version that you can put up in a prominent position, w= here it will catch your eye regularly. Pray over your goals daily and release your faith that God will help you br= ing them to pass. Begin to plan a step by step process of seeing your dream= s become a reality. After you do these steps, stand back and watch what happens. News & Info Parents Links [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/= img/520.gif?a=3D1102359703931] Woman has first child at 70 An Indian woman has given birth to her first child at the age of 70 after I= VF treatment. ________________________________________________________________ Sony Music breaches Childrens privacy laws SONY BMG is being sued by the US Government for allegedly violating federal= laws designed to protect the privacy of children on the internet. The lawsuit accuses the music company, which is changing its name to Sony M= usic Entertainment, of improperly accepting online registrations from child= ren under 13 without obtaining consent from their parents. Lismore court gives permission for 16 yearr old to marry SHE may only be 16, but her parents believe a NSW court was carrying out Go= d's will when it granted permission for her to marry her 26-year-old boyfri= end. Baby name game getting crazy NEVAEH and Narnia got through but Queensland authorities have drawn the lin= e at parents calling their children Gummy Bear, Coca Cola and King John 1. Baby boom as Mums snap up $5000 OBSTETRICIANS are expecting a busy end to 2008 as pregnant women elect for = caesarians before New Year, when the $5000 Baby Bonus rules change. __________________________________________________________________ The Expectant Fathers Program =B7 Transition to Fatherhood & Why Dads are so Important =B7 Fathering through the generations =B7 The roles of fathers and team parenting Find out more at: The Fatherhood Project ____________________ Mobil congratulated for removing porn from nationwide outlets Women's Forum Australia (WFA) and Kids Free 2B Kids have commended Mobil Au= stralia for deciding to remove Category 1 porn magazines from 149 service s= tations around the country.Mobil Australia's action follows earlier decisio= ns of BP and Shell to remove these titles from their outlets. _______________________ Editor's Note: Re: Sacking of Men's Health Ambassador On 25th November 2008, Warwick Marsh from the Fatherhood Foundation was app= ointed by Nicola Roxon, Minister for Health, as one of six Men's Health Amb= assadors at parliament house Canberra. The initial appointment list did not include Prof John McDonald, who is rec= ognized as the leading primary academic advocate for a National Men's Healt= h Policy. Mr. Marsh, after much consultation over a 48 hour period was succ= essful in ensuring Prof Macdonald was included as a national men's health a= mbassador. Sadly, within 48 hours of being appointed, Warwick Marsh, the primary polit= ical advocate for a national men's health policy since 2003, was sacked by = the health minister from his vo= luntary position as a Men's Helath Ambassador due to his previous involveme= nt in the publication '21 Reasons Why Gender Matters' www.gendermatters.org= .au This document has a total of 34 authors and contributors, 10= of whom are doctors, and was released to the general public and media at = the National Strategic Summit on Marriage, Family & Fatherhood, held on 18t= h September 2007 in Parliament House, Canberra. 21 Reasons Why Gender Matters has 178 footnotes with research material quot= ed from many reputable sources and peer reviewed studies on the importance = of gender, the realities of gender difference between male and female, the = complimentarity of the male and female gender, the case for the natural fam= ily, the case for children's biological birth right to a mother and a fathe= r, the importance of marriage and the documented dangers in public policy t= hat can occur when society moves outside this paradigm. The slander and misinformation that has been reported in the media around t= his issue has been without precedent. However this will not deter the Fathe= rhood Foundation in its role as a harm prevention charity. The Fatherhood F= oundation will not move from its commitment to the best possible policy out= comes for Australia's children. Thank you to the many people and groups who have written or emailed message= s of support. You are a great encouragement to the children of Australia. S= adly, this debate has taken attention away from the pressing need for a Nat= ional Men's Health Policy. Australia needs a National Men's Health Policy = and concerted action that will do something to stop the shocking men's suic= ide epidemic and assist in research to find the reasons for the high death rate = that men face in Australia today. We have made a decision not to print any = more emails on the controversy in the hope that we can refocus the debate a= round the importance of a national concerted action and policy development = to help the men and fathers of Australia. ____________________________________________________________________ GRAVE FEARS HELD FOR ABDUCTED AUSTRALIAN CHILD. Will Andrew be home for Christmas? In a rare move, the Family Court of Australia has issued a Publication Orde= r enabling the release of information about an international parental child= abduction. Andrew Thompson, now aged four, was illegally abducted by his mother Melind= a Thompson (also known as Melinda Stratton) from Australia in April this ye= ar. Melinda boarded a Singapore Airlines flight in Sydney with Andrew and flew = to Frankfurt, Germany. This is a criminal offence under the Family Law Act. They were 'a no show' on a booked return flight to Australia and have since= disappeared. Melinda's family has told police and others that they have no= idea of their whereabouts and that Melinda had been researching 'safe have= ns' in the weeks prior to the abduction. The abduction took place shortly after an investigation by a leading Sydney= child and family psychiatrist found Melinda has an underlying mental state= that affects her judgement and her ability to parent effectively. The Court has also ordered that in any publication a warning must be issued= stating that no one is to approach Melinda Thompson and that any informati= on should be provided immediately to local police and/or Interpol. The Court did this because of alarming concerns raised by the psychiatrist = about the potential for harm to Andrew or for self-harm to the mother. The Australian Government has conducted an extensive international search f= or the last seven months. Interpol has issued alerts in 187 countries and = the Hague Convention on International Child Abductions has been activated. Both Andrew and Melinda are Australian Citizens, travelling on Australian P= assports. Andrew's father Ken Thompson said, "The Family Court of Australia took the = unusual step of issuing a Publication Order because of extreme concerns for= Andrew and the absence of any information about his whereabouts for such a= long time". "The emotional effects of international parental child abduction are known = to be severe and life-long. Andrew needs to be reunited with his family, hi= s friends, his home, and his culture," Andrew's father said today. "I am ap= pealing to the media to raise public awareness in Australia and overseas ab= out his disappearance so that he can be found safe and well and returned ho= me as quickly as possible" he said. Anyone with information about the whereabouts of Andrew and Melinda should = contact the Australian Federal Police on (02) 6126 7777. For further information or to arrange an interview with Andrew's father, co= ntact: Robin Bowles 0418-102-732. __________________________________________________________________ Discrimination against white males will soon be encouraged Article from: Herald Sun Susie O'Brien December 09, 2008 12:00am DISCRIMINATION against dominant white males will soon be encouraged in a bi= d to boost the status of women, the disabled and cultural and religious min= orities. Such positive discrimination -- treating people differently in order to obt= ain equality for marginalised groups - is set to be legalised under planned= changes to the Equal Opportunity Act foreshadowed last week by state Attor= ney-General Rob Hulls. The laws are also expected to protect the rights of people with criminal re= cords to get a job, as long as their past misdeeds are irrelevant to work b= eing sought. Equal Opportunity Commission CEO Dr Helen Szoke said males had "been the bi= g success story in business and goods and services". "Clearly, they will have their position changed because they will be compet= ing in a different way with these people who have been traditionally margin= alised," she said. "Let's open it up so everyone can have a fair go." Victoria's peak business body expressed concern yesterday about the need fo= r the proposed laws, and questioned if they would undermine the right of co= mpanies to make legitimate business decisions. At present, individuals or bodies wanting to single out any race or gender = for special treatment must gain an exemption from VCAT. Companies and public bodies accused of discrimination can only be held to a= ccount after a complaint has been made. But the proposed changes go much further, allowing the commission to inquir= e into discrimination, seize documents and search and enter premises after = attempts to bring about change have failed. Businesses and individuals would be required to change their ways even if a= complaint had not been received. Action could be taken where an unlawful act was "likely to occur", not just= in cases where discrimination has taken place. The commission would also have real teeth to enforce its rulings via VCAT a= nd, as a last resort, in the courts. The changes, shown in a Department of Justice report by former public advoc= ate Julian Gardner, would also: EDUCATE people so they know their rights. GIVE more protection to people with disabilities, requiring companies and p= ublic entities to reasonably accommodate their needs. GRANT the homeless and people who act as volunteers better protection from = discrimination. Victorian Employers' Chamber of Commerce and Industry workplace gener= al manager David Gregory said business supported the objectives of equal op= portunity legislation. "But I am concerned and curious about whether these changes mean the commis= sion can second-guess the legitimate business decisions of individual busin= esses," he said. The first raft of changes to the Equal Opportunity Act were introduced into= Parliament last week. Letters Subject: ABC publishes corrections to White Ribbon Day story Dear Fatherhood Foundation As some of you may be aware, the White Ribbon Foundation published a 'repor= t' in the week prior to White Ribbon Day which claimed that "one in every t= hree boys believe it is not a big deal to hit a girl". This 'statistic' mad= e headlines in almost every major newspaper in Australia. In actual fact th= e 2001 source study found nothing of the sort. It actually found that "whil= e males hitting females is seen, by virtually all young people surveyed, to= be unacceptable, it appears to be quite acceptable for a girl to hit a boy= ". I contacted the ABC and asked that they amend the story on their webpages. = They have now done so. The ABC News Corrections page at http://www.bananasinpyjamas.com/news/corrections/ now states that: "Domestic violence on teens AM and ABC News Online On Monday November 17, 2008 ABC News Online and ABC Radio carried stories r= eporting the findings of a study into the impact of violence on young peopl= e. The study was commissioned by the White Ribbon Foundation. It reported, = in part, that "one in every three boys believe it is not a big deal to hit = a girl". The author of the report, Dr Michael Flood, has advised the ABC th= at this finding was in fact wrong. Dr Flood's team transposed information i= n compilation of that part of the report. The original report by the Nation= al Crime Prevention 2001 study upon which much of the White Ribbon report w= as is based made no reference to "boys hitting girls" In fact the report re= ferred to "girls hitting boys". As references to this incorrect information formed a significant part of th= e our online news story, as well as an interview conducted for the AM progr= am. The online news story has been amended accordingly. The AM transcript has been edited and the story audio removed." The ABC News page at http://www.bananasinpyjamas.com/news/stories/2008/11/17/2421195.htm?section= =3D justin now states that: "-Editor's note: This story was amended on December 3, 2008 to acknowledge = an error made by the authors of the White Ribbon Foundation report. The ori= ginal story reported, in part, that "one in every three boys believe it is = not a big deal to hit a girl". In fact, the author of the report, Dr Michae= l Flood, has advised the ABC that this finding was in fact wrong. Dr Flood'= s team transposed information in compilation of that part of the report. Th= e original report by the National Crime Prevention 2001 study upon which mu= ch of the White Ribbon report was is based made no reference to "boys hitti= ng girls" and referred only to "girls hitting boys". As references to this incorrect information formed a significant part of ou= r online news story, the story has been amended accordingly. Since some of the user comments attached to this story were based on the in= correct information, user comments have been removed from this story." The ABC AM web page at http://www.abc.net.au/am/content/2008/s2421205.htm now states that: "EDITOR'S NOTE: This transcript was amended on 21/11/08. The author of the = White Ribbon Foundation report, Dr Michael Flood, has advised the ABC that = a finding in his report of a significant proportion of teenage boys feeling= it was alright to hit girls in certain circumstances was in fact wrong. Dr= Flood's team transposed information in compilation of that part of the rep= ort. As references to this incorrect information formed a significant part = of the AM report, they have been excised from this transcript. The story au= dio has also been removed." I am presently contacting other Australian media outlets to ask them to iss= ue similar corrections. Of course, most people who had read the original st= ory will still believe incorrectly that many boys believe it's OK to hit gi= rls, but this is a small victory nevertheless. Warm regards, Greg=3D Dad's Prayer [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/522.jpg?a=3D1= 102359703931] Dear God If you help me find the joy in my life, maybe that will stop me becoming an old grouch. Then I can enjoy my children and be inspired by the joy that flows out of their hearts. Together we can make a world a happier place. Dads4Kids will have achieved its first goal - in becoming like children, we learn to live again. Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in f= athering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, pr= otective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and thei= r children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax = Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. Forward email [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/safe_unsubscribe_logo.gif] This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org. Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(tm) | Pri= vacy Policy. Email Marketing= by [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/cc-logo-color-sm.gif] Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia --_000_1102359703931110193834541512118126173019scheduler_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
=09
3D"Dads4Kids
=09
=09
15th  December 2008 &n= bsp;       Inspiring Father= s Encouraging Families Issue 330
<= /table> =09
The Bucket List
Dear Brian,

Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email inform= ation service for fathers and families as we present The Bucket L= ist.

=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Go out in style
Link...Find the Joy
Laughter..Poem for Mum & Dad
Grandfathers...Valuable Resource
Single Dads...What has changed ?
All You Need is Love..Trust & Control
Special Feature...Goal Setting
News & Info..Parents Links
Dad's Prayer..Help me find the Joy
Next Week&nb= sp;
 Fath= er Christmas
 =09 =09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09 =09 =09
Quick Links
 Thought of the Week
3D"Bucket 
Find the joy in your life. 
Carter (Morgan Freeman)
in 'The Bucket= List'
 
=
Frontline
3D"Bucket

 "You only live once, so why not go out in style? That's wh= at two cancer ward roommates, an irascible billionaire (Jack Nicholson) and= a scholarly mechanic (Morgan Freeman) decide when they get the bad news. T= hey compose a bucket list - things to do before you kick the bucket - and h= ead off for the around-the-world adventure of their lives. Sky dive? Check.= Power a Shelby Mustang around a racetrack? Check. Gaze at the Great Pyrami= d of Khufu? Check. Discover the joy in their lives before it's too late? Ch= eck!"
 
These are the words found on the cover of the 'Bucke= t List', available at your corner video store. They have been crafted by th= e best copywriters in the world, and I just can't compete with such an adro= it description of the 'Bucket List'. For a Hollywood movie, it is remarkabl= y honest, not totally truth-serum material, but certainly getting close. Th= e movie opens with Morgan Freeman speaking about death and his irascible fr= iend's passing.
 
"It's difficult to understand the sum = of a person's life. Some people will tell you it's measured by the ones lef= t behind, some believe it can be measured in faith, some say by love. Other= folks say life has no meaning at all. Me? I believe you measure yourself b= y the people who measure themselves by you. What I can tell you for sure, t= hat by any measure Edward Cole (the cantankerous billionaire played by Jack= Nicholson) lived more in his last days on earth than most people manage to= wring out of a life time. I know that when he died his eyes were closed an= d his heart was open."
 
This speech gives us a clue th= at although claiming to be a comedy, this movie deals comprehensively with = the challenge that will befall all of us sooner or later, and how we must a= ddress the moments we live in, and the broader questions posed by eternity.=
 
I guess it is clever marketing to call it a comedy, after= all few would go see a movie about dying if they didn't. As for me, I woul= d have to be with those who would encourage you to get hold of the DVD and = look past the infrequent coarse language (M Rating) because the story is we= ll told and well acted. When you get two of the best actors in the business= working together you know something's gotta give.
 
The par= achute jump, the car race and the exotic travel provide the backdrop for th= e much deeper questions of Edward Cole's reluctance to reconcile with his e= stranged daughter. On the other hand Mr Carter (Morgan Freeman) must come t= o terms with his lacklustre marriage and find that 'love is stronger than d= eath' although he is finally unable to consummate the love he feels which, = in a sense, as men, is the tragedy we all face from time to time.
&nbs= p;
The words of Paul Simon's song come to mind, 'Slip-sliding away, sl= ip-sliding away, the nearer your destination the more you're slip-sliding a= way'.
 
I know this is true because I so often fail in my qu= est for love.
 
The main thing is to get back up again. Alth= ough there will come a time when death will prevent that. That is why it is= so important to live in the moment and find the joy in your life.
&n= bsp;
Lovework
 
Live in the moment wit= h your family. We all fail in this, but it doesn't mean we should stop tryi= ng. To live in the moment we must meet the Lord of the moment, and that my = friend, is a life well lived.
 
Yours for a life well lived<= br />Warwick Marsh
 
PS You might notice that we have change= d the title of our newsletters to introduce 'Dads4Kids' to our masthead, as= we believe this is an apt description of what the Fatherhood Foundation is= all about.
 
As Morgan Freeman said in the 'Bucket List' ab= out the question, 'How do you measure a man's life?', "I believe you measur= e yourself by the people who measure themselves by you." Our children are t= he ones we live for, and they are the ones who look to us to provide leader= ship that they can aspire to.
 
The name 'Dads4Kids' is the= easiest way to say that one day you and I will be gone and our children wi= ll have to carry the flame in our stead. We are merely helping them for a m= oment.
 
The changing of the newsletter masthead also signif= ies the end of the Dads4Kids Competition which had approximately 600 entrie= s, on how to best help the children of Australia and ultimately the world. = How exciting!!!
 
We also welcome the many new subscribers t= o our Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation Newsletter. We trust you find this we= ekly newsletter an inspiration to be the best dad you can possible be for y= our children.
 
Should this newsletter not rise to your high= level of expectation as a dad - remember the unsubscribe button is only on= e click away.
 
All the best from the team at the Dads4Kids = Fatherhood Foundation newsletter.
 
__________________________________________________________= __________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Ali= son for 33 years. He is the grandfather of two children and father of = five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 28 years to = ;16 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public spe= aker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.
Link of the Week

 = The Bucket List 

 Find the Joy
Laughter
=
  Poem for Mum & dad  3D"Hillbilly"
 
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my sanity to keep= .
For if some peace I do not find,
I'm pretty sure I'll lose my= mind.
I pray I find a little quiet
Far from the daily family r= iot
May I lie back--not have to think
about what they're stuffi= ng down the sink,
or who they're with, or where they're at
and = what they're doing to the cat.
I pray for time all to myself
(d= id something just fall off a shelf?)
To cuddle in my nice, soft bed <= br />(Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)
Some silent moments for goodnes= s sake
(Did I just hear a window break?)
And that I need not co= ok or clean--
(well heck, I've got the right to dream)
Yes now = I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my wits about me keep,
But as I = look around I know--
I must have lost them long ago!

Grandfathers
Children are our most valuable natural resource.
 
Herbert Hoover
Single Dads
 
What has Changed??? Please Tell Me!
 By Tony Miller
www.dadsindistress.asn.au  3D"Father_Children"
 
I would like to inform you of j= ust a few cases that have come across my desk of recently.
 
One is about a dad who has 50/50 shared parenting of his children on a wee= k on/week off basis. He informed CSA of the arrangement and CSA contacted h= is wife who denied this was the case. To cut a long story short after prote= sting the fact, contacting CSA and Centrelink on numerous occasions, provid= ing proof and referees - he found that it was of no use. CSA just would not= believe him. So on the days he had his children, this poor dad had no othe= r avenue to pursue then to turn up to the local CSA office and produce= his kids on the days he had them. "See here they are and they are with me"= . He did this for four days and then on the 5th day the manager of the loca= l CSA office came out and said, "If you come back tomorrow with the kids I = will report you for child abuse!" Understanding this was not in the best in= terests of the children, he decided not to return. He didn't want to do it = in the first place but what choice did he have to prove that he had the chi= ldren in his custody? He had already produced to them enough evidence. It j= ust wasn't enough in their eyes.
 
Another is about a guy wh= o has a trucking business in South East Queensland. He leases 7 trucks. The= ATO assessed him of a taxable income of around $50,000. They have already = assessed that some of his fuel is private, some of his phone bills are priv= ate etc etc. We all know the ATO don't miss a trick. But then along comes t= he CSA and says, "Hold on we assess you as earning $70,000." How is it that= one Government department assesses you as earning this much, yet another s= ays, "No we won't accept that?" In raising the matter with the CSA they tel= l me, "But Tony these business people have sophisticated schemes, family tr= usts etc." HOGWASH! I am not talking about people in multi-million dollar b= usinesses, I am talking about the average Joe who is trying to make ends me= et, trying to do the right thing, trying to survive. Small businesses are t= he backbone of this nation. As this bloke said, "I am just at the point of = parking the 7 trucks outside the CSA office and throwing the keys of all of= them on their desk and saying, "Well there you are, you can have the bl**d= y lot, you have put me out of business, and by the way don't forget next mo= nths lease payments"."
 
And yet another, this story is abou= t a beekeeper, now I am sure this bloke has got some sophisticated schemes = going on.
 
Listen to this!
 
He is living = in a drought affected area. He says his hive produces approx 100 litres of = honey, the DPI says on a good year the maximum you can get is 120 litres. T= he ATO assesses him on what he says, but hold on his wife tells the CS= A he is producing 220 litres. Now who do you think CSA is going to believe?= The beekeeper, the DPI? Maybe the bees?
 
And how about thi= s. A senior public servant divorces, remarries, has another family, pays hi= s child support for his two children from his previous relationship. His ex= -wife, who also has a very good job, remarries and down the track decides t= o have another baby to her NEW husband. All is good. But because she decide= s she doesn't want to work anymore, she wants to spend time at home with th= e new baby, nothing wrong with that, but oops what happens to her ex-h= usband? Now she is deemed as having a nil income his child support rises 11= 00%. Yes 1100%. She has decided 3 years down the track to have another chil= d. All good and fair, except to her former husband, who will continue to pa= y for her sea change. It's kind of like HE is paying for her maternity leav= e isn't it?
 
These are but a few of the cases that come acr= oss my desk. Often I wonder just what has changed. I was on the reference g= roup to the Taskforce that made recommendations to the previous Government = culminating in the current reform. Often I wish I wasn't.
 
= Recently I attended the Child Support National Stakeholders Engagement Grou= p CSNSEG with whom I am a member in Canberra. Minister Macklin also attende= d and addressed the group. I asked the Minister this question.
 <= br />Is this Government prepared to adequately fund the current Fam= ily Relationship Centres and Contact Centres ?
 
R= eports we know as true are that there is a huge time-lag in acces= sing the services. For example, Dads are being ordered through the cou= rts to see their children in Contact Centres. I have been told just this mo= rning that at Kirrawee NSW Contact Centre there is an 8 month waiting perio= d. Yes 8 months! So dad has to wait 8 bl**dy months to see his kids. What i= s going on here? Is that fair on dad? Is that fair on his children? We have= reports from Sydney, from Qld, from rural - all the same. Often these= centres are not open on weekends because they cannot afford the overtime. =
 
Hold on - when do most dads get to see their kids?
=  
On WEEKENDS? Wake UP!!!!!!!!
 
The Family Relati= onship Centres are not in much better shape with waiting times at the cruci= al time when relationships all go belly up. You need to see someone and you= need to see them now, rather then later. Possibly it's a chance to even sa= ve the relationship if people can get in early. But 2, 3, 4 months etc? You= may as well just post them the divorce papers and save your money. I have = asked the question on many occasions, "Is it true there is a spike in DVO o= r abuse allegations in so many being referred to contact centre visits and = is this a ploy as I have heard from Family Law Practitioners to bypass the = current system and go straight to court?" Let's face it, the lawyers are lo= sing millions. I have also asked the question time and time again, "How man= y dads that are relegated to seeing their kids at a Contact Centre because = of abuse or Domestic violence allegations are actually PROVEN to be violent= in the end?" No Answer!
 
I have also raised the question i= n CSNSEG re the Denial of court ordered access to our children. This c= ontinues on a major scale and our concerns fall on deaf ears.
 <= br />When is the Government going to take denial of court ordered a= ccess as breaking the law and when are we going t= o see the same energy commitment and financials put into compliance of cour= t orders as Government so readily ensures with Child Support? No Answer! 
Finally, but sadly, at the last CSNSEG meeting a senior= CSA manager when reporting to the group around Child Support debt, st= ated to my amazement that a big percentage of the CSA Debt was attribu= ted to DEATH but that it still is collated into the debt data that is publi= shed. So is overseas debt.
 
So before the media jumps down = our throat next time with percentages and amounts, it would be invaluable t= o know just how much is actually owed by Australian Fathers and how much is= actually attributed to overseas? As I said, SADLY, what is the amount of d= ebt that is still be calculated in the case of DEATH?
 
Sadl= y Death by suicide of males is still a major issue.
 
But i= s anyone listening anymore?   
 
Tony Miller=
dids
 
 =09
All You Nee= d is Love
 
3D"Younger
Trust & Control
All rela= tionships, no matter how loving, are vulnerable to power imbalances. Rather= than cause for despair, these imbalances give us the opportunity for excep= tional loving.=20
 
Desire Discrepancy
 
Whenever there is a difference in desire for a par= ticular aspect of a couple's shared life, there is likely to be a power imb= alance. When one spouse has a greater need or desire than the other for som= ething in the relationship, that spouse is vulnerable to domination, manipu= lation and control by the other. Mishandled, such an experience destroys tr= ust and erodes the couple's intimacy.
 
Realistically, every= relationship will have 'desire discrepancies' in one or more areas. The ch= allenge is for couples to manage their differences in desire so that they a= void habitually destructive relationship patterns and the accumulation of u= nresolved hurt and resentment.
When it comes to emotional connection = and intimacy, men and women will typically experience significant desire di= screpancies. For men, emotional connection is biased towards physical expre= ssions (including s*xual intercourse), while women will more typically be b= iased towards verbal expressions.
 
Western society has pre= tty much reduced s*x to a mere activity. For example, we talk about 'doing = it', or we may say 'let's have s*x'. These are depersonalised, activity foc= used expressions and are very different to saying, 'I would like to make lo= ve with you'.  In truth, s*x is a communication, a powerful body langu= age. Our bodies are continuously expressing in the physical what is happeni= ng internally in the spiritual through our posture, gestures and facial exp= ressions. As such, all body language has meaning. S*x says with the body th= e vows made at the altar on the wedding day: "I freely give myself to you; = I give all that I am, body and soul; I give myself to you and you alone; an= d, I desire to be permanently united with you through our children."  = S*x then is a confirmation and a renewal of the wedding vows. Every time we= give ourselves to each other in s*xual union, we are speaking the words of= our wedding vows in and through our bodies.
 
Similarly, p= erceptions of verbal communication can also be distorted by experiences of = shallow and soulless chatter. Just like s*x, verbal communication can range= from the shallowness of clich=E9d conversation to a deeply open and honest= exchange with an empathetic communion. What many mistakenly believe is goo= d marital communication is really only good coordination.
 
Good coordination means that we are efficient in keeping each other up to = date on what everyone is doing in the family, about plans for the coming we= ek and who needs to be where: but this kind of conversation does little to = achieve communion of body and soul, the essence of intimate communication. = Most of our daily conversation is about the transfer of information; there = is no sincere emotional sharing, and no genuine emotional union. This is no= t to say that there is no place for this kind of information-based conversa= tion, only that it is insufficient if we want to enjoy the intimacy and bon= ding for which we long.
 
Whether it is s*x or conversation,= there can be no 'communion', no genuine intimacy, unless there is emotiona= l vulnerability and empathy.

Time Out: Identify the are= as of desire discrepancy in your marriage (eg recreational companionship, p= rivacy, solitude, verbal intimacy, s*xual intimacy, domestic order, financi= al security, affection, affirmation/admiration). Discuss together.=20

=A9 2008 Celebrate Love Australia.
Editor's Note: the = use of * is merely to help get this article to you and not be held up by in= ternet filtering systems.

Special Feature

 
'Goal Setting For Your Family'
By John Nolan
Dads Uni
3D"Family
 

It is important to know where you w= ant to go as a family, where you want to be in 20-30 years time, in the man= y different areas of family life. Nobody packs a car to go on a holiday&nbs= p;with their suitcases and surfboards, their roller skates and footballs, w= ithout first having made some plans of where they want to go. If we did tha= t, we may be considered 'a little strange', yet many of us have no real pla= n where our family is going in life. Notice I said 'no real plan' and not '= no real idea', as these two words mean totally different things.
 = ;
We all have many ideas floating around in our heads, probably some g= ood ideas and bad ones too, but an idea will only ever be an idea until it = manifests in the natural world. Have you ever heard of a new invention on t= he market and thought "Gee I had that idea years ago", "I wish I'd followed= it through!" The difference was that the inventor actually took the idea a= nd made it real in the natural world, and because he did he is now reaping = the benefits of the idea.
 
Goal setting for your family is = the first step toward developing a plan or strategy about where you want to= be in the future. To take it beyond the idea stage and write it down on pa= per initiates the process of bringing it to pass. Note that I said 'pr= ocess' and not one time 'event'. Goal setting is like laying down a railway= track that you want your family to run on. It gives you an element of cert= ainty and assurance that you will ultimately arrive at your destination, an= d not end up in Perth if you are aiming for Tasmania.
 
To b= egin goal setting for your family, it is important to get some input from e= very member of the family if possible, especially your wife. Discuss your h= opes and dreams openly, and don't hold back or overly rationalise init= ially. Dream a big dream, believe for the very best for your family, in eve= ry area you can think of. The more detailed your life goals are the better,= as in going through this process you will draw out from your heart the thi= ngs that really matter to you.
 
Suggested Action:

Write down your goals for every area of your life:
Physical = (health)
Financial
Relational (marriage/family)
Assets you= want to acquire
Holidays you want to go on
Spiritual positionin= g with God, etc.
 
Also do a simplified version that you ca= n put up in a prominent position, where it will catch your eye regularly. <= br /> 
Pray over your goals daily and release your faith that God= will help you bring them to pass. Begin to plan a step by step process of = seeing your dreams become a reality.
 
After you do these s= teps, stand back and watch what happens.
News & Info
=
 
Parents Links &n= bsp;  3D"Parents_Computer"
 
 
An Indian woman has given birth to her first child at the age of 70 af= ter IVF treatment.
 _____________________________________________= ___________________
 
SONY BMG is being sued by the US Government for allegedly violating fe= deral laws designed to protect the privacy of children on the internet. The lawsuit accuses the music company, which is changing its name to Son= y Music Entertainment, of improperly accepting online registrations from ch= ildren under 13 without obtaining consent from their parents. 
 
 
SHE may only be 16, but her parents believe a NSW court was carrying o= ut God's will when it granted permission for her to marry her 26-year-old b= oyfriend.
 
 
NEVAEH and Narnia got through but Queensland authorities have drawn th= e line at parents calling their children Gummy Bear, Coca Cola and King Joh= n 1. 
 
Baby boom as Mums snap up $5000 =20
OBSTETRICIANS are expecting a busy end to 2008 as pre= gnant women elect for caesarians before New Year, when the $5000 Baby Bonus= rules change. 
_____________________________= _____________________________________
 
The Expectant Fathe= rs Program
=B7  =         Transition to Fatherhood & Why D= ads are so Important
=B7       &nbs= p;  Fathering through the generations
=B7    =       The roles of fathers and team parenting
Find out more at: The Fatherhood Project
____________________
&= nbsp;
Mobil congratulated for removing porn from= nationwide outlets 
= Women's Forum Australia (WFA) and Kids Free 2B Kids have commended Mobil Australia for deciding to remove Category 1 porn= magazines from 149 service stations around the country.Mobil Australia's a= ction follows earlier decisions of BP and Shell to remove these titles from= their outlets.
_______________________
 
Editor's Note:
Re: Sacking of Men's Health Ambassad= or
 
On 25th November 2008, Warwick Marsh from the = Fatherhood Foundation was appointed by Nicola Roxon, Minister for Health, a= s one of six Men's Health Ambassadors at parliament house Canberra.
&= nbsp;
The initial appointment list did not include Prof John McDonald,= who is recognized as the leading primary academic advocate for a National = Men's Health Policy. Mr. Marsh, after much consultation over a 48 hour peri= od was successful in ensuring Prof Macdonald was included as a national men= 's health ambassador.
 
Sadly, within 48 hours of being appo= inted, Warwick Marsh, the primary political advocate for a national men's h= ealth policy since 2003, was sacked by the health minister from his voluntary position as a Men's Helath Ambassador due to hi= s previous involvement in the publication '21 Reasons Why Gender Matters' <= /font>www.gen= dermatters.org.au   This docum= ent has a total of 34 authors and contributors, 10 of whom are doctors, and= was released to the general public and media  at the National Strateg= ic Summit on Marriage, Family & Fatherhood, held on 18th September 2007 in = Parliament House, Canberra.
 
21 Reasons Why Gender Matters = has 178 footnotes with research material quoted from many reputable sources= and peer reviewed studies on the importance of gender, the realities of ge= nder difference between male and female, the complimentarity of the male an= d female gender, the case for the natural family, the case for children's b= iological birth right to a mother and a father, the importance of marriage = and the documented dangers in public policy that can occur when society mov= es outside this paradigm.
 
The slander and misinformation t= hat has been reported in the media around this issue has been without prece= dent. However this will not deter the Fatherhood Foundation in its role as = a harm prevention charity. The Fatherhood Foundation will not move from its= commitment to the best possible policy outcomes for Australia's children.<= br /> 
Thank you to the many people and groups who have written o= r emailed messages of support. You are a great encouragement to the childre= n of Australia. Sadly, this debate has taken attention away from the pressi= ng need for a National Men's Health Policy. Australia needs a  Nationa= l Men's Health Policy and concerted action that will do something to stop t= he shocking men's suicide epidemic and assist in research to find the reasons for the high death rate tha= t men face in Australia today. We have made a decision not to print any mor= e emails on the controversy in the hope that we can refocus the debate arou= nd the importance of a national concerted action and policy development to = help the men and fathers of Australia.    
_______= _____________________________________________________________=20
 
GRAVE FEARS HELD FOR ABDUCTED AUSTRALIAN CHIL= D.
Will Andrew be home for Christmas?
 
In a rare move, the Family Court of Australia has issued = a Publication Order enabling the release of information about an internatio= nal parental child abduction.
 
Andrew Thompson, now aged f= our, was illegally abducted by his mother Melinda Thompson (also known as M= elinda Stratton) from Australia in April this year.
 
Melind= a boarded a Singapore Airlines flight in Sydney with Andrew and flew to Fra= nkfurt, Germany. This is a criminal offence under the Family Law Act.
=  
They were 'a no show' on a booked return flight to Australia an= d have since disappeared. Melinda's family has told police and others that = they have no idea of their whereabouts and that Melinda had been researchin= g 'safe havens' in the weeks prior to the abduction.
 
The a= bduction took place shortly after an investigation by a leading Sydney chil= d and family psychiatrist found Melinda has an underlying mental state that= affects her judgement and her ability to parent effectively.
 <= br />The Court has also ordered that in any publication a warning must be i= ssued stating that no one is to approach Melinda Thompson and that any info= rmation should be provided immediately to local police and/or Interpol.  
The Court did this because of alarming concerns raised by th= e psychiatrist about the potential for harm to Andrew or for self-harm to t= he mother.
 
The Australian Government has conducted an exte= nsive international search for the last seven months.  Interpol has is= sued alerts in 187 countries and the Hague Convention on International Chil= d Abductions has been activated.
 
Both Andrew and Melinda a= re Australian Citizens, travelling on Australian Passports.
 Andrew's father Ken Thompson said, "The Family Court of Australia took t= he unusual step of issuing a Publication Order because of extreme concerns = for Andrew and the absence of any information about his whereabouts for suc= h a long time".
 
"The emotional effects of international pa= rental child abduction are known to be severe and life-long. Andrew needs t= o be reunited with his family, his friends, his home, and his culture," And= rew's father said today. "I am appealing to the media to raise public aware= ness in Australia and overseas about his disappearance so that he can be fo= und safe and well and returned home as quickly as possible" he said.
&= nbsp;
Anyone with information about the whereabouts of Andrew and Meli= nda should contact the Australian Federal Police on (02) 6126 7777.
&n= bsp;
For further information or to arrange an interview with Andrew's = father, contact: Robin Bowles 0418-102-732.
 ____________________= ______________________________________________
Discrimination against white males will soon = be encouraged
Article from: Herald Sun
Susie O'Brien
December 09, 2008 12:00am

 
DISCRIMINATION against dominant white males will soon be encouraged in= a bid to boost the status of women, the disabled and cultural and religiou= s minorities.
Such positive discrimination -- treating people differen= tly in order to obtain equality for marginalised groups - is set to be lega= lised under planned changes to the Equal Opportunity Act foreshadowed last = week by state Attorney-General Rob Hulls. The laws are also expected to protect the rights of people with criminal= records to get a job, as long as their past misdeeds are irrelevant to wor= k being sought.
Equal Opportunity Commission CEO Dr Helen Szoke said = males had "been the big success story in business and goods and services". =
"Clearly, they will have their position changed because they will be = competing in a different way with these people who have been traditionally = marginalised," she said.
"Let's open it up so everyone can have a fai= r go."
Victoria's peak business body expressed concern yesterday abou= t the need for the proposed laws, and questioned if they would undermine th= e right of companies to make legitimate business decisions.
At presen= t, individuals or bodies wanting to single out any race or gender for speci= al treatment must gain an exemption from VCAT.
Companies and public b= odies accused of discrimination can only be held to account after a complai= nt has been made.
But the proposed changes go much further, allowing = the commission to inquire into discrimination, seize documents and search a= nd enter premises after attempts to bring about change have failed.
B= usinesses and individuals would be required to change their ways even if a = complaint had not been received.
Action could be taken where an unlaw= ful act was "likely to occur", not just in cases where discrimination has t= aken place.
The commission would also have real teeth to enforce its = rulings via VCAT and, as a last resort, in the courts.
The changes, s= hown in a Department of Justice report by former public advocate Julian Gar= dner, would also:
EDUCATE people so they know their rights.
GIV= E more protection to people with disabilities, requiring companies and publ= ic entities to reasonably accommodate their needs.
GRANT the homeless= and people who act as volunteers better protection from discrimination. Victor= ian Employers' Chamber of Commerce and Industry workplace general manag= er David Gregory said business supported the objectives of equal opportunit= y legislation.
"But I am concerned and curious about whether these ch= anges mean the commission can second-guess the legitimate business decision= s of individual businesses," he said.
The first raft of changes to th= e Equal Opportunity Act were introduced into Parliament last week.

Letters
 
Subject: ABC publishes corrections to White Ribbon Day story

Dear Fatherhood Foundation
As some of you may be aware, the White Ri= bbon Foundation published a 'report' in the week prior to White Ribbon Day = which claimed that "one in every three boys believe it is not a big deal to= hit a girl". This 'statistic' made headlines in almost every major newspap= er in Australia. In actual fact the 2001 source study found nothing of the = sort. It actually found that "while males hitting females is seen, by virtu= ally all young people surveyed, to be unacceptable, it appears to be quite = acceptable for a girl to hit a boy".

I contacted the ABC and ask= ed that they amend the story on their webpages. They have now done so.
The ABC News Corrections page at
http://www.bananasinpyjamas.com/news/correc= tions/

now states that:

"Domestic violence on tee= ns
AM and ABC News Online

On Monday November 17, 2008 ABC N= ews Online and ABC Radio carried stories reporting the findings of a study = into the impact of violence on young people. The study was commissioned by = the White Ribbon Foundation. It reported, in part, that "one in every three= boys believe it is not a big deal to hit a girl". The author of the report= , Dr Michael Flood, has advised the ABC that this finding was in fact wrong= . Dr Flood's team transposed information in compilation of that part of the= report. The original report by the National Crime Prevention 2001 study up= on which much of the White Ribbon report was is based made no reference to = "boys hitting girls" In fact the report referred to "girls hitting boys".As references to this incorrect information formed a significant part o= f the our online news story, as well as an interview conducted for the AM p= rogram. The online news story has been amended accordingly.
The AM tr= anscript has been edited and the story audio removed."

The ABC N= ews page at
= http://www.bananasinpyjamas.com/news/stories/2008/11/17/2421195.htm?section= =3D
justin now states that:
<= br />"-Editor's note: This story was amended on December 3, 2008 to acknowl= edge an error made by the authors of the White Ribbon Foundation report. Th= e original story reported, in part, that "one in every three boys believe i= t is not a big deal to hit a girl". In fact, the author of the report, Dr M= ichael Flood, has advised the ABC that this finding was in fact wrong. Dr F= lood's team transposed information in compilation of that part of the repor= t. The original report by the National Crime Prevention 2001 study upon whi= ch much of the White Ribbon report was is based made no reference to "boys = hitting girls"
and referred only to "girls hitting boys".
As ref= erences to this incorrect information formed a significant part of our onli= ne news story, the story has been amended accordingly.
Since some of = the user comments attached to this story were based on the incorrect inform= ation, user comments have been removed from this story."

The ABC= AM web page at http://www.abc.net.au/am/content/2008/s2421205.htm
no= w states that:

"EDITOR'S NOTE: This transcript was amended on 21= /11/08. The author of the White Ribbon Foundation report, Dr Michael Flood,= has advised the ABC that a finding in his report of a significant proporti= on of teenage boys feeling it was alright to hit girls in certain circumsta= nces was in fact wrong. Dr Flood's team transposed information in compilati= on of that part of the report. As references to this incorrect information = formed a significant part of the AM report, they have been excised from thi= s transcript. The story audio has also been removed."
I am presently c= ontacting other Australian media outlets to ask them to issue similar corre= ctions. Of course, most people who had read the original story will still b= elieve incorrectly that many boys believe it's OK to hit girls, but this is= a small victory nevertheless.

Warm regards,
Greg=3D
<= /font>

Dad's Prayer

           &nbs= p;       
3D"Fathers

Dear God
 
If you help me find the joy in my life= ,
maybe that will stop me becoming an old grouch.
Then I can enjo= y my children
and be inspired by the joy that flows
out of their = hearts.
Together we can make a world a happier place.
Dads4Kids w= ill have achieved its first goal -
in becoming like children,
we = learn to live again.
=09
=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be = emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)

 Westpac Branch Wollongong      &nb= sp;            =   DONATE ONLINE

BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW&nbs= p; 2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

=09
=09
=09
3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by in= fo@fathersonline.org.
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
--_000_1102359703931110193834541512118126173019scheduler_--