Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au (130.130.68.31) by staffmail.uow.edu.au (10.5.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server id 8.1.336.0; Sun, 21 Dec 2008 09:34:28 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1LEAOy-0004Xa-36 for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 21 Dec 2008 09:34:28 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.10.3-GA) with ESMTP id QCU99452; Sun, 21 Dec 2008 09:34:24 +1100 (EST) Received: from p2-ws508.ad.prodcc.net (unknown [10.252.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 1BD7D34EAE24 for ; Sat, 20 Dec 2008 17:15:40 -0500 (EST) From: Fatherhood Foundation To: Brian Lane Date: Sun, 21 Dec 2008 09:17:02 +1100 Subject: Father Christmas Thread-Topic: Father Christmas Thread-Index: Acli8x7COs1VBtzvSiKkOVCt4GMCJg== Message-ID: <1102366344918.1101938345415.1211.8.96171519@scheduler> List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykUeny0Eu5-unLCxUCkv2y9Q== Reply-To: "info@fathersonline.org" Accept-Language: en-AU, en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthAs: Anonymous X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthSource: excasht01.ad.uow.edu.au X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: x-junkmail-status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au x-junkmail-sd-raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A150201.494D72F3.0070:SCFMA772204,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2008-09-22 23:22:13, dmn=5.4.3/2007-10-18, mode=single engine x-junkmail-iwf: false x-return-path-hint: ESC1102366344918_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com x-roving-id: 1101938345415.1211 x-lumos-senderid: 1101938345415 x-roving-campaignid: 1102366344918 x-roving-streamid: 0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_110236634491811019383454151211896171519scheduler_" MIME-Version: 1.0 --_000_110236634491811019383454151211896171519scheduler_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/526.gif?a=3D1= 102366344918] [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/538.gif?a=3D1= 102366344918] 22nd December 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 331 [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/3m9q9k8q.jpg] Father Christmas Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for Fathers and Families as we present Father Christmas. In This Issue Frontline...Christmas a time for Fathers Link...Stay out of the Doghouse Laughter..Wishing for a tall chick Grandfathers...Christmas Time Single Dads...Your Child needs You All You Need is Love..Marriage benefits Children Special Feature...Yes there is a Santa Claus News & Info..Parents Links Dad's Prayer..Open up my shut up heart Next Week New Opportunities Join our Mailing List! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/ftf_btn_1.gif] Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation Dads in Distress Focus on the Family National Centre for Fathering Oz Family Life Dads Uni Men of Integrity Lifeline Equal Parenting Party CSA Adverts Thought of the Week [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/541.jpg?a=3D1= 102366344918] For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government will be upon his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, the Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. Isaiah 9:6 Frontline [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/540.jpg?a=3D1= 102366344918] I have never met Archbishop Hickey, but the guy must be a genius because so= metimes the obvious is so hard to see, especially in our politically correc= t world. The celebration of Christmas has been around since the birth of Je= sus Christ. Father Christmas has been = around almost as long. The legend of Santa Claus go= es back to Saint Nicholas of Myra 270-346 AD who loved giving gifts to the poor = and particularly to children. It would seem that these two distinct characters merged in the 19th century= and now children run to sit on the knee of a friendly old man, to get thei= r photo takes and to receive a hug from a father. The father-hunger runs deep in our ever increasing fatherless society. What= are children looking for? A friendly, happy, kindly father-figure to give = them some time and attention. It took Archbishop Hickey to articulate the wish of every child in Australi= a and restate the mission of Dads4Kids and the ongoing work of the restorat= ion of fathers and families both in Australia and around the world. Christmas a time for fathers By Archbishop Barry Hickey of Perth If Father Christmas were offering me gifts, I would ask for peace in every = family, and a father at the heart of every family. The absence of fathers is the biggest family and social problem we face tod= ay. It is the biggest cause of lifelong difficulties for fathers, mothers and m= ost of all for children. The absence of fathers is bigger than anger, aggression, alcohol, drugs, cr= ime and under-achievement by children because it is the biggest single cont= ributor to all of them. This is borne out worldwide by every large-scale, l= ong-term study of family life. I know that Father Christmas isn't going to solve this problem for me, but = I keep praying for it. Christmas has always been an important time for families, but it seems to m= e that these days we are in danger of forgetting what family really is. Fir= stly, it is father and mother accepting lifelong responsibility for one ano= ther and their children, and then it is sharing of family life within and a= cross generations. It is not only that Christmas is important for families. It is also true th= at family is important for Christmas. When God chose to send his only Son t= o earth to share in our humanity, he chose to place him in a family. He cho= se a mother, Mary, who gave her life to God's will, and a father, Joseph, w= ho gave his life to caring for Mary and Jesus. This was God himself confirming to us that children need to be raised in fa= milies where they can learn what it is to be a man and what it is to be a w= oman, and how wonderful is the love between them. This Christmas and every Christmas, let us reaffirm in word and deed our ow= n faith in families and our own desire to see a father at the heart of ever= y family. Lovework[http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/3p6i2y9u.jpg] Celebrate Christmas with your family and be the father your family needs yo= u to be! Yours for happy families Warwick Marsh PS We welcome our new readers from the Dads4Kids Competition and others who= have joined us recently. Hope you find encouragement and inspiration as a = father. Our simple goal is to help you become the best father in the world = for your children and help you strengthen your family relationships. Should= you wish to unsubscribe please go to the end of this newsletter to click o= n the 'unsubscribe' button. Have a Happy Christmas and a blessed New Year! ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 33 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ran= ging in age from 28 years to 16 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himsel= f. Links of the Week Speak Woman Stay out of the Doghouse this Christmas Laughter [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/531.jpg?a=3D1= 102366344918]A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind= him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "W= hat's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 = please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change= for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hambu= rger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitr= ess. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad= ," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62. Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it o= n the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir, Ho= w do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket ever= y time?". "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found= an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put = my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.". "That's brilliant" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million = dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long = as you live!". "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact mo= ney is always there," says the man.. The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?". The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick wit= h a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say." Grandfathers [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/530.jpg?a=3D1= 102366344918] I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers = to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. Charles Dickens Single Dads Your Child Needs You[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/11019383454= 15/img/534.jpg?a=3D1102366344918] by Warwick Marsh Recently our office had a problem with german cockroaches so I looked up th= e Yellow Pages and called Frank from 'All City Pest Management' to manage t= hem out of existence. Our introductions intrigued me when we made the appointment. "Look Warwick,= I am a single dad so I will drop my 6 year old son at school first and the= n I will start work at 9.30 am." Frank had my attention from the word 'go'.= Here was a man who was a committed father first and a pest exterminator se= cond. Later, in further conversation, I learned that Frank is the full time carer= of his son. Frank told me about a friend of his who was complaining about = not seeing enough of his family because he worked hard in a full time job d= uring the day and then devoted most nights to selling Amway in the hope of = increasing his family's money supply. Frank really challenged him and said, "Don't be silly. Your child needs you= not your money. Reduce your monetary expectations and thereby meet your ch= ild's relational expectations. Both you and he will be much happier if you = do." I asked Frank what he would say to all the fathers that do not have their c= hildren full time or cannot see their children at all because of Australia'= s unjust Family Law. He replied in his broken English (Frank was born in Ir= an), "I can't imagine what that would be like. I feel bad, I feel so sorry = for them. There is nothing greater than spending time with your children." I then asked Frank why he was so committed to his son and so prepared to pu= t everything second to his relationship with his son. [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/535.jpg?a=3D1= 102366344918]"When I was young my dad was very busy. He worked hard everyda= y and he often went out at night to spend time with his friends. He was a g= ood dad, but perhaps a bit too busy to be a truly great father. I determine= d in my heart that if I had a child I would be much more available for that= child. My wife suffered with post natal depression and turned to alcohol. = Our relationship broke down and after the divorce I made a commitment to bu= ild my life around my son and not the reverse. I opened a shop selling sung= lasses and I built a play area in the back room so that I could be with my = son while I worked. Now I am working in pest control. I start my work after= I drop my son at school and finish work before I pick him up in the aftern= oon." "Next year my son Isaac will turn 7 years old and Centrelink are making it = hard for me with their onerous reporting regime and their statutory require= ments for single parents. Whatever the case I am determined to keep my son = as my top priority at all times and aim to continue to give him the time he= needs from me as a father." I must say that I found Frank's commitment to his son as a struggling singl= e parent quite moving. There are many wonderful single mums who share the s= ame struggles and we give honour to them as well. This Christmas the Fatherhood Foundation would like to honour all the singl= e dads across Australia. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. You may not= have your children with you all the time like Frank does but all the same = we wish you and your children a Happy Christmas and a blessed New Year. All You Need is Love [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/9u3a3o9b.jpg] Stop the Presses! Marriage benefits children! Robert Franklin 17.12.2008 Writing in Volume 42 of the San Diego Law Review in 2005, then-University o= f Maryland law professor and feminist Robin Fretwell Wilson gave a masterfu= l summary of existing social science data on the effects of marriage on chi= ldren. And the data is clear - marriage is good for children. Children of married couples are, on average, less likely to engage in delin= quent behavior, less likely to be suspended or expelled from school and are= more likely to go to college than are their peers without married parents. The data go on to point out why children of married parents have better out= comes; married fathers are more involved in their children's lives than are= co-habiting fathers. "Obviously, marriage is differentiating the investmen= t fathers make in their children," and this is true "above and beyond the c= haracteristics of the fathers themselves." In other words, the fact of marriage does not by itself select better fathe= rs, it makes fathers better. And as we know from voluminous other data, chi= ldren with engaged fathers have better outcomes across the board than do th= eir fatherless peers. Non-married relationships tend to be brief, with 90% lasting less than five= years. During that time, children are worried about the tenuous nature of = the adults' relationship. And, since a father's relationship with his child= is 'coterminous' with his relationship with the child's mother, his emotio= nal, psychological, financial and other investments in the child are heavil= y dependent on whether he's married to her or not. So what, if anything, should states do to promote marriage? Direct subsidie= s seem pointless and likely to fail because they encourage marriage by peop= le who shouldn't marry and for the wrong reasons. But educating couples abo= ut the value of marriage to children and teaching couples the skills requir= ed to form and sustain healthy marriages? Now that's something states can a= nd should do. As Wilson writes, "By supporting marriage, the state is suppo= rting children." This is another huge set of data supporting fathers' engagement with their = children and rebutting the long-held assumptions that marriage is optional = and divorce is an adult's free choice. Neither is true. Fathers' rights and= children's welfare are intimately intertwined. http://www.smartmarriages.com/uploaded/Evlauating.Marriage.Wilson.pdf Special Feature [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/2y2c7d6y.jpg] Yes, there is a Santa Claus I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I r= emember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big siste= r dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies kn= ow that!" My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day = because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told th= e truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when= swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they were w= orld-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true. Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her e= verything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted.... "Ridicul= ous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it m= akes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let's go." "Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second World-f= amous cinnamon bun. "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one= store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a b= undle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for so= meone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walk= ed out of Kerby's. I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but nev= er had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowd= ed, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few= moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wond= ering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I= knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people = who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly though= t of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat = right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to r= ecess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teache= r that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a= cough; he didn't have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with gro= wing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red cordur= oy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that. "Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter aske= d kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It= 's for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby re= ally needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the co= at in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas. That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the= coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons a= nd wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma said that Santa alway= s insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, expl= aining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa's hel= pers. Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept nois= elessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nud= ge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going." I took a deep bre= ath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded= his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together w= e waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally i= t did, and there stood Bobby. Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, bes= ide my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those= awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were, ridi= culous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team. I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95. May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that care. A= nd may you always believe in the magic of Santa Claus! News & Info Parents Links [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/= img/520.gif?a=3D1102366344918] Cattle prods, belts, brooms used on kids EACH year hundreds of children are thrashed with sticks, belts, brooms, kit= chen utensils and pieces of hose, according to an audit of child assault ca= ses. Experts debunct health myths about Aussie men University of Adelaide researchers have published a paper today in the Medi= cal Journal of Australia, challenging the public stereotype surrounding men= and their health. SYDNEY MEN'S FESTIVAL [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/110193834= 5415/img/539.gif?a=3D1102366344918] JAN 2009 Sunday 11 to Sunday 18 Jan 2009 Venue: 'Yaraandoo', 28 Nollands Road Fiddletown, Arcadia (near Hornsby) For more details: http://www.sydneymensfestival.org.au ____________________ The Fatherhood Project The gift that gives twice! If you are looking for an inexpensive gift for a special friend, a partner = or your Dad, we have an exclusive range of gifts at our online shop. at www= .fatherhood.com ________________________ Editor's Note: Last week's News & Info had the story below. The Fatherhood Foundation appl= auds Victor's principled stand against discrimination. We encourage our rea= ders to check out this News Story link below and follow Victors example and= send a letter to the Victorian Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commissi= on and the appropriate Victorian parliamentarian. Such madness should not = remain unchallenged. Our letter of congratulations can be found below Victor's. ________ Victorian Equal Opportunity & Human Rights Commission Level 3, 380 Lonsdale Street Melbourne VIC 3000 Dear Sir Thank you for your response to my complaint regarding, the CEO of Equal Opp= ortunity Commission, Dr Helen Szoke's conclusion, that: white men have done= well and deserve to be discriminated against. Read the article Either the article is a dishonest report by Susie O'brien of the Herald Sun= or the Equal Opportunity Commission leadership needs to be overhauled and = Ms Szoke needs to be removed from her position. I will be contacting the journalist concerned and her editor. I want to con= firm the veracity of your disingenuous claims of her misreporting. Susie O'= brien is noted for her accurate reporting. I am appalled you and Szoke are = running for cover claiming misreporting for an indefensible policy proposal= . If you are wrong, I can assure you the newspaper will be pressured to follo= w up and put your disgraceful and discriminatory proposals under the micros= cope for the community to examine. Scott, you're a man - how on earth can you remain silent whilst these disgr= aceful discriminatory proposals were even floated as policy. You're positio= n in Communications at the EOC, you should have alerted them to this policy= disaster. Did you not speak up man? Did you not at least say: how will wom= en view this discrimination as they too have son/s, brother and husbands? = You can dress up this policy proposal as positive discrimination to assist= others, however, putting lipstick on a policy pig still makes it a pig. I have two daughter's, I would be voicing this very same complaint and conc= erns if women or females was substituted for male or men in the Herald Sun = article quoting Szokes. I will be contacting my member of parliament to find out who is responsible= for this policy stuff up. I will ensure he understands your department is = now running for cover trying to palm this debacle onto a journalist misrepo= rting. Further be assured, I will also be contacting community and men's groups to= ensure they're aware of your department's retrograde proposals designed to= disadvantage a group based on gender. The very thing the Equal Opportunity= Act is designed to prevent. I trust you note I am very angry. I am angered by the dishonest lame respon= se you've offered for this policy stuff up and its communication. As a matter of courtesy, I ordinarily wouldn't have copied in all the peopl= e to whom I originally sent my email of complaint. I have done so, so they = can see the incompetence of the Equal Opportunity Commission and how dishon= est bureaucrats run for cover. Victor Altomare _________ Dear Victor It would appear white heterosexual males must take the blame for everything= that is wrong with the world and endure endless vilification at the whim o= f every minority pressure group in the country. Congratulations on your pri= ncipled stand against such madness. Kind Regards Warwick Marsh Fatherhood Foundation _____________________________ International Men's Day Dear Fatherhood Foundation Letting you know that I appreciated your encouragement to celebrate IMD. Twelve fellas here in Ulladulla gathered at our local Indian Restaurant, Sa= ffron, for a meal on the 19th. We enjoyed some grand Indian fare but more i= mportantly we shared stories about how important the connection had been, a= nd was for many still, between themselves and their Dads. It was a thorough= ly valuable night as we shared across the generations present, but the nigh= t experienced a sobering moment when our Indian chef shared with us his con= cerns about the racial taunts that he and his young wife had been subjected= to. It was a timely reminder that in our community, there is still signifi= cant and archaic understanding of fellow human beings. Overall, it was a blessing and a challenge to be there - thanks for giving = us a stimulus. Steve Dad's Prayer [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/533.jpg?a=3D1= 102366344918] Dear God It seems that Christmas time is that one time of the year When as Charles Dickens said, people 'open their shut-up hearts freely'. My prayer this Christmas is that you would help me open my shut-up heart to my children, my wife, my loved ones and my friends. Life is too short to live with a closed heart. Life is too short to live with a closed mind. Help me live in the moment with those I love. Help me live my life with an open heart all year round. Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in f= athering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, pr= otective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and thei= r children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax = Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. Forward email [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/safe_unsubscribe_logo.gif] This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org. Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(tm) | Pri= vacy Policy. Email Marketing= by [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/cc-logo-color-sm.gif] Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia --_000_110236634491811019383454151211896171519scheduler_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
=09
3D"Dads4Kids
=09
=09 =09
3D"Xmas
 
 22nd  December 2008      Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families  Issue 331
 

 

 

 
Father Christmas
=
Dear Brian,
Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information = service for Fathers and Families as we present Father Christmas.
 
=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Christmas a time for Fathers
Link...Stay out of the Doghouse
Laughter..Wishing for a tall chick
Grandfathers...Christmas Time
Single Dads...Your Child needs You
All You Need is Love..Marriage benefits Children
Special Feature...Yes there is a Santa Claus
News & Info..Parents Links
Dad's Prayer..Open up my shut up heart
Next Week&nb= sp;
 New = Opportunities
 =09 =09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09 =09 =09
Quick Links
 Thought of the Week
 
3D"Jesus&= nbsp;
For unto us a child is born,
= unto us a son is given,
and the government will be upon his shoulders.=
And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor,
the Mighty God,
Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his gove= rnment and peace
there will be no end.
 
Isaiah 9:6
Frontline
=
3D"Santa

I have never met Archbishop Hickey, but the guy must be a genius because= sometimes the obvious is so hard to see, especially in our politically cor= rect world. The celebration of Christmas has been around since the birth of= Jesus Christ. Father Christmas has been around a= lmost as long. The legend of Santa Claus  goes back to Saint Nicholas of My= ra 270-346 AD who loved giving gifts to the poor and particularly to childr= en.
           =             &nb= sp;            =        
It would seem that these t= wo distinct characters merged in the 19th century and now children run to s= it on the knee of a friendly old man, to get their photo takes and to recei= ve a hug from a father.
 
The father-hunger runs deep in ou= r ever increasing fatherless society. What are children looking for? A frie= ndly, happy, kindly father-figure to give them some time and attention.
 
It took Archbishop Hickey to articulate the wish of every chi= ld in Australia and restate the mission of Dads4Kids and the ongoing work o= f the restoration of fathers and families both in Australia and around the = world.
 
Christmas a time for fathers
By Ar= chbishop Barry Hickey 
of Perth
 
If Father Christmas were offering me gifts, I would ask for peace in ever= y family, and a father at the heart of every family.
 
The a= bsence of fathers is the biggest family and social problem we face today. 
It is the biggest cause of lifelong difficulties for father= s, mothers and most of all for children.
 
The absence of f= athers is bigger than anger, aggression, alcohol, drugs, crime and under-ac= hievement by children because it is the biggest single contributor to all o= f them. This is borne out worldwide by every large-scale, long-term study o= f family life.
 
I know that Father Christmas isn't going to= solve this problem for me, but I keep praying for it.
 
Chr= istmas has always been an important time for families, but it seems to me t= hat these days we are in danger of forgetting what family really is. Firstl= y, it is father and mother accepting lifelong responsibility for one anothe= r and their children, and then it is sharing of family life within and acro= ss generations.
 
It is not only that Christmas is important= for families. It is also true that family is important for Christmas. When= God chose to send his only Son to earth to share in our humanity, he chose= to place him in a family. He chose a mother, Mary, who gave her life to Go= d's will, and a father, Joseph, who gave his life to caring for Mary and Je= sus.
 
This was God himself confirming to us that children n= eed to be raised in families where they can learn what it is to be a man an= d what it is to be a woman, and how wonderful is the love between them.
 
This Christmas and every Christmas, let us reaffirm in word a= nd deed our own faith in families and our own desire to see a father at the= heart of every family.
 
Lovework
 
Celebr= ate Christmas with your family and be the father your family needs you to b= e!
 
Yours for happy families
Warwick Marsh
 =
PS We welcome our new readers from the Dads4Kids Competition and othe= rs who have joined us recently. Hope you find encouragement and inspiration= as a father. Our simple goal is to help you become the best father in the = world for your children and help you strengthen your family relationships. = Should you wish to unsubscribe please go to the end of this newsletter to c= lick on the 'unsubscribe' button.
 
Have a  Happy Chri= stmas and a blessed New Year!

 
______________________= ______________________________________________

Warwick Marsh&nbs= p; has been married to Alison for 33 years. He is the grandf= ather of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, = ranging in age from 28 years to 16 years.  Warwick is a musician,= songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still la= ugh at himself.

Links of the Week

 

Laughter
=
3D"Ostrich"A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The w= aitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, = fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'= ll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the wait= ress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reache= s into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

Th= e next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburg= er, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.=

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" as= ks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a ste= ak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the os= trich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That wil= l be $32.62.

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of hi= s pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold ba= ck her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir, How do you manage to always c= ome up with the exact change in your pocket every time?".
"Well," says= the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp= . When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My fir= st wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my han= d in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.".
=
"That's brilliant" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a mi= llion dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as= long as you live!".

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of mil= k or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man..
T= he waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?".

The man sighs, pau= ses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and l= ong legs who agrees with everything I say."

<= /font>
Grandfathers
3D"Christmas
 
I have always thought of Christmas time,
when it has = come round, as a good time;
a kind, forgiving, charitable time;
t= he only time I know of, in the=20
long calendar of the year,
when men and women seem by one consent= to open their shut-up hearts freely,
and to think of people below the= m as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave,
and not anoth= er race of creatures
bound on other journeys.
 
Charle= s Dickens
Single Dads
Your Child Needs You3D"Giant
=  by Warwick Marsh

Recently our office had a problem with german cockroaches so I l= ooked up the Yellow Pages and called Frank from 'All City Pest Management' = to manage them out of existence.
 
Our introductions intrigu= ed me when we made the appointment. "Look Warwick, I am a single dad so I w= ill drop my 6 year old son at school first and then I will start work at 9.= 30 am." Frank had my attention from the word 'go'. Here was a man who was a= committed father first and a pest exterminator second.
 
La= ter, in further conversation, I learned that Frank is the full time carer o= f his son. Frank told me about a friend of his who was complaining about no= t seeing enough of his family because he worked hard in a full time job dur= ing the day and then devoted most nights to selling Amway in the hope of in= creasing his family's money supply.
 
Frank really challenge= d him and said, "Don't be silly. Your child needs you not your money. Reduc= e your monetary expectations and thereby meet your child's relational expec= tations. Both you and he will be much happier if you do."
 
= I asked Frank what he would say to all the fathers that do not have their c= hildren full time or cannot see their children at all because of Australia'= s unjust Family Law. He replied in his broken English (Frank was born in Ir= an), "I can't imagine what that would be like. I feel bad, I feel so sorry = for them. There is nothing greater than spending time with your children."<= br /> 
I then asked Frank why he was so committed to his son and = so prepared to put everything second to his relationship with his son.
 
3D"Father_son_4""When I = was young my dad was very busy. He worked hard everyday and he often went o= ut at night to spend time with his friends. He was a good dad, but perhaps = a bit too busy to be a truly great father. I determined in my heart that if= I had a child I would be much more available for that child. My wife suffe= red with post natal depression and turned to alcohol. Our relationship brok= e down and after the divorce I made a commitment to build my life around my= son and not the reverse. I opened a shop selling sunglasses and I built a = play area in the back room so that I could be with my son while I worked. N= ow I am working in pest control. I start my work after I drop my son at sch= ool and finish work before I pick him up in the afternoon."
 
"Next year my son Isaac will turn 7 years old and Centrelink are making i= t hard for me with their onerous reporting regime and their statutory requi= rements for single parents. Whatever the case I am determined to keep my so= n as my top priority at all times and aim to continue to give him the time = he needs from me as a father."
 
I must say that I found Fra= nk's commitment to his son as a struggling single parent quite moving. Ther= e are many wonderful single mums who share the same struggles and we give h= onour to them as well.
 
This Christmas the Fatherhood Found= ation would like to honour all the single dads across Australia. Our though= ts and prayers are with you. You may not have your children with you all th= e time like Frank does but all the same we wish you and your children a Hap= py Christmas and a blessed New Year. 
All You Nee= d is Love
 
 Stop the Presses!
Marriage benefits children!
= Robert Franklin 17.12.2008
 
Writing in Volume 42 of the Sa= n Diego Law Review in 2005, then-University of Maryland law professor and f= eminist Robin Fretwell Wilson gave a masterful summary of existing social s= cience data on the effects of marriage on children. And the data is clear -= marriage is good for children.
 
Children of married couple= s are, on average, less likely to engage in delinquent behavior, less likel= y to be suspended or expelled from school and are more likely to go to coll= ege than are their peers without married parents.
 
The data= go on to point out why children of married parents have better outcomes; m= arried fathers are more involved in their children's lives than are co-habi= ting fathers. "Obviously, marriage is differentiating the investment father= s make in their children," and this is true "above and beyond the character= istics of the fathers themselves."
 
In other words, the fac= t of marriage does not by itself select better fathers, it makes fathers be= tter. And as we know from voluminous other data, children with engaged fath= ers have better outcomes across the board than do their fatherless peers. 
Non-married relationships tend to be brief, with 90% lastin= g less than five years. During that time, children are worried about the te= nuous nature of the adults' relationship. And, since a father's relationshi= p with his child is 'coterminous' with his relationship with the child's mo= ther, his emotional, psychological, financial and other investments in the = child are heavily dependent on whether he's married to her or not.
&nb= sp;
So what, if anything, should states do to promote marriage? Direct= subsidies seem pointless and likely to fail because they encourage marriag= e by people who shouldn't marry and for the wrong reasons. But educating co= uples about the value of marriage to children and teaching couples the skil= ls required to form and sustain healthy marriages? Now that's something sta= tes can and should do. As Wilson writes, "By supporting marriage, the state= is supporting children."
 
This is another huge set of data= supporting fathers' engagement with their children and rebutting the long-= held assumptions that marriage is optional and divorce is an adult's free c= hoice. Neither is true. Fathers' rights and children's welfare are intimate= ly intertwined.
 
http://www.smartmar= riages.com/uploaded/Evlauating.Marriage.Wilson.pdf  
=09

Special Feature

 
Yes, there is a Santa Claus
           = ;            &n= bsp;            = ;  
I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I= was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on = the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeer= ed. "Even dummies know that!"


My Grandma was not the gushy= kind, never had been.  I fled to her that day because I knew she woul= d be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew tha= t the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of = her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Gr= andma said so. It had to be true.
 
Grandma was home, and th= e buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready= for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted.... "Ridiculous! Don't believe it. T= hat rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!!= Now, put on your coat, and let's go."
 
 "Go? Go where= , Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second World-famous cinnamon= bun. "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town= that had a little bit of just about everything.

As we walked th= rough its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those = days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs= it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby= 's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my = mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seeme= d big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shop= ping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-do= llar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought= of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at scho= ol, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I = suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy ha= ir, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class.

Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to= recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teac= her that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have= a cough; he didn't have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with g= rowing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red cord= uroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that= .

"Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the= counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes, ma'am," I repli= ed shyly. "It's for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about= how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but s= he put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.
That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell o= ut of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and = ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma said that Sa= nta always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's ho= use, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Sa= nta's helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house= , and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. = Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get= going." I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present= down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bush= es and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the fro= nt door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.

Fifty ye= ars haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my G= randma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful r= umors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were, ridiculous.&= nbsp; Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.

I still= have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

May yo= u always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that care. And may= you always believe in the magic of Santa Claus!
<= /font>
News & Info
=
 
Parents Links &n= bsp;  3D"Parents_Computer" =20
Cattl= e prods, belts, brooms used on kids
 
 =20
EACH year hundreds of children are thrashed with sticks, belts, brooms= , kitchen utensils and pieces of hose, according to an audit of child assau= lt cases. 

  
Experts debunct health myths about Aussie men 
Unive= rsity of Adelaide researchers have published a paper today in the Medical J= ournal of Australia, challenging the public stereotype surrounding men and = their health.


SYDNEY MEN'S FESTIV= AL 3D"Xmas
= JAN 2009
 
Sunday 11 to Sunday 18 Jan 2009
Venue: 'Yar= aandoo',
28 Nollands Road
Fiddletown, Arcadia (near Hornsby)For more details: http://www.sydne= ymensfestival.org.au   
____________________
 =
The Fatherhood Project
The gift that gives twice!
If you ar= e looking for an inexpensive gift for a special friend, a partner or your D= ad, we have an exclusive range of gifts at our online shop. at www.fatherhood.com  

___________= _____________
 
Editor's Note:
Last week's News & Info = had the story below. The Fatherhood Foundation applauds Victor's principled= stand against discrimination. We encourage our readers to check out this N= ews Story link below and follow Victors example and send a letter to the Vi= ctorian Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission and the appropriate V= ictorian  parliamentarian. Such madness should not remain unchallenged= .
Our letter of congratulations can be found below Victor's.
____= ____
 
Victorian Equal Opportunity & Human Rights Commission=
Level 3, 380 Lonsdale Street
Melbourne VIC 3000
 
Dear Sir
 
Thank you for your response to my complaint rega= rding, the CEO of Equal Opportunity Commission, Dr Helen Szoke's = conclusion, that: white men have done well and deserve to be discrimin= ated against. 
Read the article 
 
Either the= article is a dishonest report by Susie O'brien of the Herald Sun= or the Equal Opportunity Commission leadership needs to be overhauled and = Ms Szoke needs to be removed from her position.
 
I will be = contacting the journalist concerned and her editor. I want to confirm the&n= bsp;veracity of your disingenuous claims of her misreporting. Susie O'= brien is noted for her accurate reporting. I am appalled you and Szoke are = running for cover claiming misreporting for an indefensible polic= y proposal.
 
If you are wrong, I can assure you the newspap= er will be pressured to follow up and put your disgraceful and discriminato= ry proposals under the microscope for the community to examine. 
=  
Scott, you're a man - how on earth can you remain silent whilst= these disgraceful discriminatory proposals were even floated as = policy. You're position in Communications at the EOC, you should have alert= ed them to this policy disaster. Did you not speak up man? Did you not at l= east say: how will women view this  discrimination as they too have so= n/s, brother and husbands? You can dress  up this policy proposal as p= ositive discrimination to assist others, however, putting lipstic= k on a policy pig still makes it a pig. 
 
I have two d= aughter's, I would be voicing this very same complaint and concerns if wome= n or females was substituted for male or men in the Herald Sun article quot= ing Szokes.
 
I will be contacting my member of parliament t= o find out who is responsible for this policy stuff up. I will ensure he un= derstands your department is now running for cover trying to palm this deba= cle onto a journalist misreporting. 
 
Furthe= r be assured, I will also be contacting community and men's group= s to ensure they're aware of your department's retrograde proposals designe= d to disadvantage a group based on gender. The very thing the Equal Opportu= nity Act is designed to prevent.
 
I trust you note I am ver= y angry. I am angered by the dishonest lame response you've offered for thi= s policy stuff up and its communication.
 
As a matter of co= urtesy, I ordinarily wouldn't have copied in all the people to whom I origi= nally sent my email of complaint. I have done so, so they can see the = incompetence of the Equal Opportunity Commission and how dishonest&nbs= p;bureaucrats run for cover. 
 
 
Victor= Altomare
_________
 
Dear Victor
 
It w= ould appear white heterosexual males must take the blame for everything tha= t is wrong with the world and endure endless vilification at the whim of ev= ery minority pressure group in the country. Congratulations on your princip= led stand against such madness.
 
Kind Regards
Warwick = Marsh
Fatherhood Foundation
 
_________________________= ____
 
International Men's Day
 
Dear Fatherh= ood Foundation
 
Letting you know that I appreciated your en= couragement to celebrate IMD.
 
Twelve fellas here in Ulladu= lla gathered at our local Indian Restaurant, Saffron, for a meal on the 19t= h. We enjoyed some grand Indian fare but more importantly we shared stories= about how important the connection had been, and was for many still, betwe= en themselves and their Dads. It was a thoroughly valuable night as we shar= ed across the generations present, but the night experienced a sobering mom= ent when our Indian chef shared with us his concerns about the racial taunt= s that he and his young wife had been subjected to. It was a timely reminde= r that in our community, there is still significant and archaic understandi= ng of fellow human beings.
 
Overall, it was a blessing and = a challenge to be there - thanks for giving us a stimulus.
Steve
=
 

Dad's Prayer

    
3D"Closed 
Dear God 
It seems that Christmas time is that one time of t= he year
When as Charles Dickens said,
people 'open their shut-up= hearts freely'.
My prayer this Christmas
is that you would help= me open my shut-up heart
to my children, my wife, my loved ones and m= y friends.
Life is too short to live with a closed heart.
Life is= too short to live with a closed mind.
Help me live in the moment= with those I love.
Help me live my life with an open heart all year r= ound.

 
=09
=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be = emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)

 Westpac Branch Wollongong      &nb= sp;            =   DONATE ONLINE

BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW&nbs= p; 2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

=09
=09
=09
3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by in= fo@fathersonline.org.
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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