Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au (130.130.68.31) by staffmail.uow.edu.au (10.5.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server id 8.1.336.0; Sun, 1 Mar 2009 10:47:26 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1LdYty-0003Ri-A8 for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 01 Mar 2009 10:47:26 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.10.3-GA) with ESMTP id QWV70205; Sun, 1 Mar 2009 10:47:21 +1100 (EST) Received: from p2-ws508.ad.prodcc.net (unknown [10.252.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id D6A561860CB5 for ; Sat, 28 Feb 2009 18:30:36 -0500 (EST) From: Fatherhood Foundation To: Brian Lane Date: Sun, 1 Mar 2009 10:32:57 +1100 Subject: Our Children Our Future Thread-Topic: Our Children Our Future Thread-Index: AcmZ/uk3Toh7OcpuQDegLAO7JeepBw== Message-ID: <1102481740899.1101938345415.1211.8.96183019@scheduler> List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykzug-9MhijtN9Mmki4dc3rQ== Reply-To: "info@fathersonline.org" Accept-Language: en-AU, en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthAs: Anonymous X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthSource: excasht01.ad.uow.edu.au X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: x-junkmail-status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au x-junkmail-sd-raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A150201.49A9CD0E.0007:SCFMA772204,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2008-09-22 23:22:13, dmn=5.7.1/2008-09-02, mode=single engine x-junkmail-iwf: false x-return-path-hint: ESC1102481740899_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com x-roving-id: 1101938345415.1211 x-lumos-senderid: 1101938345415 x-roving-campaignid: 1102481740899 x-roving-streamid: 0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_110248174089911019383454151211896183019scheduler_" MIME-Version: 1.0 --_000_110248174089911019383454151211896183019scheduler_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable HTML Web Version Dads4Kids Newsletter Dads4Kids Logo 2nd March 2009 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 341 Our Childre= n Our Future Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for Fathers and Families as we present Our Children Our Future In This Issue Frontline...Young People are the Future Link...Pregnant Power Laughter..Which Car is mine Grandfathers...Fathers love Single Dads...Erasing Poverty Consciousness All You Need is Love..My Parents has a divorce Special Feature...Best Child Entry News & Info..Men's Health Enquiry Dad's Prayer..To be a Father Next Week Healthy Men, Healthy Families, Healthy Nation Signup Join our Mailing List! Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation Dads in Distress Men to Men Malachi Global Choicez.com Beyong Blue Australian Family Association Fathers & Daughters Raising Children Network CSA Adverts Thought of the Week Dad playing Thoughtoftheweek I'm 14 and I still play out in the yard with my dad. I think it's great that he could still be bothered. Paul Klapper Frontline Dads Group Lyle Sims, one of the top three winners of the Dads4Kids Competition observ= ed wisely, "Our young people are the future of our nation. As they go, so g= oes the nation. Our future is in their hands, their future is in ours." What do the young people of Australia think are the challenges that they fa= ce? What do they think are the solutions to those problems? Many of the entries to the Dads4Kids Competition were from children. Many o= f those children spoke very clearly about the problems they face. Kim, South Australia: The greatest challenge facing children today is spend= ing quality time with dads. With Dads living so busy lives working . . . Jack, Queensland: The greatest challenge facing children today is not feeli= ng wanted or needed. Some kids just want some guidelines and for someone in= their life to say, "No, you can't do that." Jamie, Queensland: The greatest challenge facing children today is not havi= ng their dad as they are growing up. James, South Australia: My dad committed suicide when I was 12 and it shatt= ered me. Ethan, Queensland: The greatest challenge facing children today is watching= their parents fight which often leads to divorce. Michael, New South Wales: The greatest challenge facing children today is t= hey want to have fun with their dads. Laura, Queensland: The greatest challenge facing children today is not havi= ng a mum or dad to tell stuff to . . . children need someone to guide them = through their life. William, NSW: The greatest challenge facing children today is when your mot= her and father are divorced and they live in another state. Tannika, Victoria: The greatest challenge facing children today is having t= heir parents split up. Jess, NSW: The greatest challenge facing children today is their parents be= ing unsuitable to own a puppy let alone raise a child. Katie, Queensland: The greatest challenge facing children today is not havi= ng one of their parents around to look after them. Julia, Queensland: I am 15 years old and I think the greatest challenge fac= ing children today is, to be honest, not having a father. I don't have one = and it has affected me greatly through my life with finding attention from = the wrong boys to fill that gap of not having a male in my life . . . I hav= e a mum who loves me very much but there's just something missing and it's = my father's love. I never had a father figure in my life and that's why I t= hink so many kids my age and older . . . go down the wrong track and end up= in a bad situation. Julia's heartfelt pleas are impossible to ignore. She is not along. The chi= ldren of Australia are crying out for fathers who will love them unconditio= nally, spend time with them, guide them and listen to them. While many youn= g people brought up other pressing matters such as drugs, alcohol, health, = obesity and bullying, the number one concern was the lack of a father figur= e closely followed by family breakdown. Sadly for many children it is one a= nd the same thing. Fourteen year old Paul from Queensland finished in the top 20 out of 575 en= tries. He talked about a number of important issues but also included havin= g no mother and father as an issue of critical importance. His advice to pa= rents is to the point: Parents have to spend time with their children and listen and talk to them = about the important things. Just go outside and spend time and have fun wit= h your children. They will be a lot better off with their self esteem and s= elf respect. That shows your children that you love them. I'm 14 and I stil= l play out in the yard with my dad. I think it's great that he could still = be bothered." Lovework Listen to the children of Australia. Young Paul's wisdom is hard to beat. Spend time, listen, talk, go outside and have fun. Yours for our children Warwick Marsh PS Great news. The Senate is holding an Inquiry into Men's Health. We were only notified of this two weeks ago. It is critical that as many submissions as possible are made to this indepe= ndent inquiry. The Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation has gained an extension = of time to 13th March 2009. It is extremely important that as many submissions as possible are made. Le= t me encourage you to get your own submission together: 2 lines, 2 paragrap= hs or 2 pages ASAP. This is a golden opportunity to let your voice be heard= . See News & Info. ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 33 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ran= ging in age from 28 years to 16 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himsel= f. Link of the Week Pregnant Power Laughter Granny Gun An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four= males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bag= s, drew her handgun and proceeded to scream at them at the top of her voice= , "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car you scumbags!" The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like m= ad. Whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bag= s into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tri= ed and tried, to no avail. And then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farthe= r down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with lau= ghter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white ma= les were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white,= less than 5' tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun= . No charges were filed. AH ......... SENIOR MOMENTS !!!! Grandfathers Husband wife The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Theodore Hesburg Single Dads Father Daughter Poverty How Single Parents Can Erase Poverty Consciousness by Solo-Dad on January 16, 2009 =B7 We hear a lot about poverty these days. Turn on your radio or television an= d very likely you'll hear terms like financial crisis, economic downturn, b= ad economy, credit crunch, bank failure. It seems it's all anyone can talk = about these days. I've often thought about the link between our language, even our thoughts, = and our circumstances. In my life, there has always been a very obvious lin= k between my thoughts and my life circumstances. If I think about a shrinking bank balance and ruminate on whether or not I'= ll have next month's rent, my actions and attitude bring about that reality= . On the other hand, if I think about positive cash flow and financial gain= , I'm surprised by the inflow of the same. Is that really possible? In 2007, I was self employed. I had some regular clients and my books were = selling so cash flow was OK, but not what I wanted it to be. So I stepped o= ut on faith, the power of positive thinking, whatever you like. I made a c= ommitment to the Universe that I would realize $20,000 in unexpected revenu= e. I held on to that thought and believed it would happen. By year's end, = a single consulting client (who seemed to drop into my lap from nowhere) ha= d paid me $20,000 in fees. Of course, I worked for it and didn't just lay = on the beach while money washed up on shore, but it happened. It proved to me that the link between our thoughts and our circumstances is= real. Are we modeling poverty consciousness? As single parents, whether we realize it or not, we model life for our kids= on a 24/7 basis. It's like we're strutting our stuff up and down the runwa= y, foot-lit all day long while our kids play the role of glitzy photographe= rs preserving every move for posterity. Of course, they're not using cameras, but their eyes and ears. In this way, we have a direct role in whether or not they adopt our norms, = attitudes, language and practices around money, life, love and everything e= lse. That, like everything else about single parenting (eat my dust, Ann Coulter= ), is an awesome responsibility. If we model prosperity consciousness, our = kids will most likely adopt healthy attitudes and behaviors. Conversely, if= we model poverty consciousness, they will likely adopt more negative attit= udes and behaviors. According to Mike Dooley, 'thoughts become things; so w= hy not choose the good ones?" Erasing poverty consciousness Since multitasking is largely a myth (I can only do one thing at a time and= I assume since you're human, you're in the same boat), we can't simultaneo= usly think about positive and negative. We can't think about prosperity a= nd poverty at the same time. It isn't possible. Because we're humans conditioned by society to want, want, want...we tend t= o think more often about what we lack. It's been said that the only people = who think about the poor are the poor. In a metaphysical sense, I guess thi= s holds some validity. If we continually dwell on what's missing, we live in lack. Whatever you're= most habituated to think about (prosperity v. poverty) is what your kids a= re learning and adopting. Parents can erase poverty consciousness from the world. How? Not my creat= ing some mass movement with celebrities and politicians making personal app= earances...no, simply my making a choice to think more positively. Positive thinking leads to positive language. Positive language leads to po= sitive behavior. Positive behavior leads to positive outcomes. Who wouldn't want to teach their children this way of living? Kids take into the next adult generation the attitudes, norms, thought-patt= erns and idea of their parents. The wrestle with them, reject some, adopt = others and eventually make them their own. If we as parents confront our own thought-patterns about poverty and prospe= rity; if we made a single shift in our thinking around money, we'd have the= power to erase poverty consciousness from the world and our kid's lives wo= uld be healthier, happier and full of positive outcomes. Want a better world for your kids? It begins with us. AlluNeedAll You Need is L= ove . My Parents Had a Divorce... Divorce 2 by A. E. a student at the University of California Irvine online newspaper Volume 42, Issue 15 Jan 26 2009 My parents got divorced shortly after Sept11. It happened, like the coup de= grace of a one-two punch. So every time I think back to that October after= noon when they sat my brother and me down in the guest bedroom, I involunta= rily think of burning and collapsing buildings. I don't think I need to exp= lain the symbolism any further. I was in seventh grade, my middle brother i= n fifth and my youngest in pre-school. It didn't really come as a surprise to me. In fact, I was expecting =AD and= dreading =AD it. In the preceding months, I heard them fight more and more= through closed doors and from upstairs to the point that I thought it was = normal. That's when the dreading began. So when my mom asked my middle brother and me =AD(they didn't tell my young= est brother until later) =AD "Would you please come into the guest room wi= th us for a second? " a pre-recorded message punched on in my brain. Please= don't let them be getting a divorce, please don't let them be getting a di= vorce. But they were. Damn my ESP. I don't remember everything in specific detail, but I think my mother did m= ost of the talking. She sat with us on the floor against the bed, my dad in= an office chair. My mom started by gently informing us that they had been = fighting a lot recently =AD as if everyone within a two-house radius of us = hadn't heard. There was more easing-into, and all the while I had this sinking feeling in= my chest that kept growing heavier. When she finally uttered the words, "S= o your father and I are getting separated," I felt like 15,000 volts had ju= mped through my body. My middle brother buried his face in my mom's shoulder and cried a lot. Lou= d and shameless sweater-muffled wails that I'm sure made my youngest brothe= r curious about what was going on behind the locked door. I didn't react fo= r a while, and the three of us just sat in silence, while my brother contin= ued to cry. I know my dad said something to break the silence. I don't remember what, b= ut I remember how. My father was an old-world man of fifty, serious and dow= n-to-earth, but also full of love and jocularity. He had survived religious= persecution, poverty, war, immigration and three boys. In short, he was an= d still is my hero, the person that I base so many of my life philosophies = on. That day in the guest room was the first and only time in my life I have ev= er seen him cry. Seeing his eyes wet, face redden, nose sniff until he fina= lly buried his face in one hand and shook silently was like watching Superm= an plummet from the sky. That moment was one of my burning towers and even = though I've tried, I can't forget about it. I must have said less than ten words throughout the whole ordeal. My parent= s kept trying to get me to talk but I refused. My brother, in stark contras= t, bared his soul to the guest room and cried himself hoarse. But I seethed inside. I was surprisingly wrathful. When we were done some t= hree hours later, I promptly got up and left without a word. I remember a lot of anger the following months. I leapt at my brothers' thr= oats for piddling reasons, was cold to my parents and there was some sponta= neous crying on everyone's part, except the youngest brother's. I don't rea= lly know when they broke the news to him. I was angry at everything and everyone. I hated my math teacher because I s= ucked at math. I hated my school whenever some kids made fun of me. And I h= ated my parents for not loving each other,=AD for not loving me. I felt bet= rayed and lonely. There was a lot of anger. My parents gave me a blank sketchbook and suggest= ed I write down what I was feeling as a source of emotional release. I won't repeat what I filled that sketchbook with, but I will tell you I pu= t down a lot of hateful,=AD and now that I think about it,=AD scary thought= s and images. Over the years, I evened out. But it's scary to think how muc= h fury I had in me. Eventually, my father lost his job and had to move up to the Silicon Valley= because he couldn't find a job down here. The rest of us stayed here, and = he supported the whole family from afar. He was nearing his sixties, and I = suspect ageism played a filthy hand in denying him so many jobs. By then it was just me, my mother and two brothers. I wasn't nearly so angr= y by that time. At first my father came to visit every weekend, then every = two, then every three, then once a month. That's as bad as he let it get. Soon he refused to come inside the house because it "held too many memories= ." I initially scoffed at this and wrote it off as weakness because I was y= oung and knew everything. Then I experienced my first bad break-up and found I could no longer enter = my ex-girlfriend's house =AD- the smell, the furniture, the atmosphere were= all too much. When my mother got re-married, my father made it a point to = park around the corner from the house to pick us up during his visits so he= wouldn't run into her husband. I don't think he ever did. My dad would drive 300 miles so he could see us, his only kids. An eight-ho= ur trip, one-way. I've heard some kids go through the phase of wondering what they did wrong = to make their parents choose to get divorced. They take fault for something= that they could in no way have prevented. I don't think I went through tha= t. I wholeheartedly, 100 percent put the blame on my parents. That may or may = not have been a result of my immaturity, and as I said, I was an angry kid = when my parents broke up. That's more or less where I am now. My middle brother has gone off to colle= ge. My mother divorced her second husband (I only felt sad for my mother) and has now moved up north near my father with my youngest brother.= Not to get back together, but so the youngest can develop a relationship w= ith his real father before he gets too old. It puts a small emotional strain on me when I go back to my hometown, for m= y friends =AD namely, by making me homeless =AD but I want my little brothe= r to see his real father, too. And secretly, I just like seeing them all to= gether at once when I go home to visit. We're not a "real " nuclear family like before; my parents live in separate= apartments and shuttle my little brother back and forth between them. But = it beats the hell out of my father having to drive sixteen hours total just= to see us. All I want for them is the stability and peace of mind they des= erve so much. My parents get along fine now, and my mother even goes out to dinner with u= s sometimes when we're with our father. I'm never sad at those dinners. Special Feature SpecialFeature Most Outstanding Child Entry: Braden Pitcher, 13 years old, Camberwell VIC Camping 1 The Challenge I believe that many Australian kids do not receive love from two parents. T= his causes kids to be disruptive and violent in classrooms. They can't cont= rol themselves and take all their anger and sadness out on others. I have w= itnessed this at my old primary school, and you feel you just can't communi= cate with them. You can tell something's wrong but when you offer to help, = they snap. It's a battle that many kids go through and nothing is done abou= t it. Having only one parent makes the other parent stressed and they get a= ngry easily. This way kids feel like they can't do anything right. It is an= issue which saddened me to see happen and I felt as though someone needs t= o take action. This was a good way for me, 13, to express my thoughts and t= ake action. After all it's a battle we must fight!! The Solution I think that you could set up a camp in the school holidays for both 2 week= s, which incorporates kids and parents working together in teams. For examp= le, for one kid you need one adult. At the camps you are separated from you= r parent and they are swapped for someone else's parent either of the same = or the opposite sex. They become your parent for the two weeks. Then you ar= e put evenly into groups, so say 20 families came - 5 pairs of people in ea= ch group. This will enable the kids to not only feel what another parent wo= uld be like but also be accompanied by kids with the same problem. At the e= nd of the first week you revisit your actual parent and tell them how it's = going. They can involve activities such as High Ropes Courses etc. these in= volve you having to work as a team. The camps can go to different places de= pending on the seasons. eg. summer: Whitsundays or Gold Coast, winter: Mt. = Buller or Lake Mountain. Something like this idea will help kids focus the= ir energy on the right things. The Fundraising If Matt Haydon can help you out then you can pretty much do anything. I was= thinking that most answers would be carnivals, cake stalls, releasing reci= pe books, or races. Sure they're all good, but you have to think what would= people actually pay tickets for. I thought you could have 2 little matches= . These matches consist of say Essendon Footy Club (any club really?) and t= he Victorian Cricket team who play each other in each others sport. People = would come and pay for this because it would be a really funny game to watc= h. It can be played in the off-season so it doesn't affect the actual teams= during season, and fans will want more footy or cricket anyway. SO IT WILL= BE A BIG TURNOUT!! News & Info NewsInfo healthy men Men's Health Inquiry Call for Submissions The Federal Senate has established a Select Committee on Men's Health to in= quire into general issues related to the availability and effectiveness of = education, supports and services for men's health. The Senate Select Commit= tee has extended the closing date for submissions' to the 13th March 2009. Many men in the movement have wondered why this inquiry is underway in the = light of the Labor Government's promise to institute a long awaited Nationa= l Mens' Heath Policy. Currently there are hearings for the same initiative = being held in several different states. The simple answer is this inquiry has come out of the Senate and is a Publi= c Inquiry with a transparent and open reporting to the Senate of its findin= gs, where as the current Labor Government process of consultations will ult= imately be decided upon by government bureaucrats behind closed doors. While hopeful of the ultimate policy recommendations we cannot be guarantee= d that the final policy will not be a based upon the" Male Deficit" governm= ental policy platform which has dominated government policy for the last 30= years. The Select Committee on Men's Health will inquire into general issues inclu= ding but not limited to: 1. level of Commonwealth, state and other funding addressing men's health, = particularly prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and depression, 2. adequacy of existing education and awareness campaigns regarding men's h= ealth for both men and the wider community, 3. prevailing attitudes of men towards their own health and sense of wellbe= ing and how these are affecting men's health in general, and 4. the extent, funding and adequacy for treatment services and general supp= ort programs for men's health in metropolitan, rural, regional and remote a= reas. The committee is to report by 30 May 2009. Submissions are due by the new c= losing date 13th March 2009. For information go to: http://www.aph.gov.au/S= enate/committee/menshealth_ctte/tor.htm or phone (02) 6277 3559 Father drugged then killed his two children during divorce The children had been happy at the thought of spending the weekend with him= and were carrying home-made Father's Day cards for him. Brian Philcox, 53, sat hand-in-hand with his daughter Amy, seven, and son O= wen, three, in the back seat of his Land Rover as it filled with fumes. Dad's Prayer DadsPrayer Dad kids aquarium Dear God Wilhelm Busch said, "Becoming a father isn't difficult, but it's very difficult to be a father" and yet children are searching for fathers. Help me be found by the ones I love. If it means playing in the yard with my children, let me be found. If it means stopping to listen more, let me be found. If it means saying no occasionally, let me be found. If it means giving more cuddles, let me be found. Just as You found me, let me be found by the ones I love. Help Us! HelpUsThe Fatherhood Foun= dation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in f= athering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, pr= otective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and thei= r children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax = Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. Forward email Safe Unsubscribe This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org. Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(tm) | Pri= vacy Policy. Email Marketing= by Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.233 / Virus Database: 270.11.4/1976 - Release Date: 27/02/2009= 1:27 PM --_000_110248174089911019383454151211896183019scheduler_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
HTML Web Version Dads4Kids Newsletter
3D"Dads4Kids
 2nd March 2009      Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families  Issue 341
 

 

 
Our Children
Our Future
Dear Brian,
=
Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information = service for Fathers and Families as we present Our Children Our Future
In This Issue
Frontline...Young People are the Future
Link...Pregnant Power
Laughter..Which Car is mine
Grandfathers...Fathers love
Single Dads...Erasing Poverty Consciousness
All You Need is Love..My Parents has a divorce
Special Feature...Best Child Entry
News & Info..Men's Health Enquiry
Dad's Prayer..To be a Father
Next Week 

 Healthy Men, Healthy Families, Healthy Nation
=
3D"Signup"<= a style=3D"color:#4CC4FC;text-decoration:underline;" shape=3D"rect" href=3D= "http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D1101938345415" target=3D"= _blank" align=3D"center">&= nbsp;
Join our Mailing List!
 
Quick Links
 Thought of the Week
 
3D"Dad = ;
3D"Thoughtoftheweek" <= /div>
I'm 14 and I still play
out in the yard with my dad.
I think it's great
that he could still be bothered.
 
Paul Klapper
Frontline

 
 3D"Dads=
Lyle Sims, one of the top three winners of the Dads4Kids Competition o= bserved wisely, "Our young people are the future of our nation. As the= y go, so goes the nation. Our future is in their hands, their future is in = ours."
 
What do the young people of Australia think are the challenges that they fa= ce?  What do they think are the solutions to those problems?
 
Many of the entries to the Dads4Kids Competition were from children. Many o= f those children spoke very clearly about the problems they face.
 
Kim, South Australia: The greatest challenge facing children today is spend= ing quality time with dads. With Dads living so busy lives working  . = . .
 
Jack, Queensland: The greatest challenge facing children today is not feeli= ng wanted or needed. Some kids just want some guidelines and for someone in= their life to say, "No, you can't do that."
 
Jamie, Queensland: The greatest challenge facing children today is not havi= ng their dad as they are growing up.
 
James, South Australia: My dad committed suicide when I was 12 and it shatt= ered me.
 
Ethan, Queensland: The greatest challenge facing children today is watching= their parents fight which often leads to divorce.
 
Michael, New South Wales: The greatest challenge facing children today is t= hey want to have fun with their dads.
 
Laura, Queensland: The greatest challenge facing children today is not havi= ng a mum or dad to tell stuff to . . . children need someone to guide them = through their life.
 
William, NSW: The greatest challenge facing children today is when your mot= her and father are divorced and they live in another state.
 
Tannika, Victoria: The greatest challenge facing children today is having t= heir parents split up.
 
Jess, NSW: The greatest challenge facing children today is their parents be= ing unsuitable to own a puppy let alone raise a child.
 
Katie, Queensland: The greatest challenge facing children today is not havi= ng one of their parents around to look after them.
 
Julia, Queensland: I am 15 years old and I think the greatest challenge fac= ing children today is, to be honest, not having a father. I don't have one = and it has affected me greatly through my life with finding attention from = the wrong boys to fill that gap of not having a male in my life . . . I have a mum who loves me very much = but there's just something missing and it's my father's love. I never had a= father figure in my life and that's why I think so many kids my age and ol= der . . . go down the wrong track and end up in a bad situation.
 
Julia's heartfelt pleas are impossible to ignore. She is not along. The chi= ldren of Australia are crying out for fathers who will love them unconditio= nally, spend time with them, guide them and listen to them. While many youn= g people brought up other pressing matters such as drugs, alcohol, health, obesity and bullying, the number o= ne concern was the lack of a father figure closely followed by family break= down. Sadly for many children it is one and the same thing.
 
Fourteen year old Paul from Queensland finished in the top 20 out of 575 en= tries. He talked about a number of important issues but also included havin= g no mother and father as an issue of critical importance. His advice to pa= rents is to the point:
 
Parents have to spend time with their children and listen and talk to them = about the important things. Just go outside and spend time and have fun wit= h your children. They will be a lot better off with their self esteem and s= elf respect. That shows your children that you love them. I'm 14 and I still play out in the yard with my dad. I= think it's great that he could still be bothered."
 
Lovework
 
Listen to the children of Australia. Young Paul's wisdom is hard to beat. <= br>  
Spend time, listen, talk, go outside and have fun.
 
Yours for our children
Warwick Marsh
 
PS Great news. The Senate is holding an Inquiry into Men's Health. We were only notified of this two weeks ago.=
 
It is critical that as many submissions as possible are made to this indepe= ndent inquiry. The Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation has gained an extension = of time to 13th March 2009.
 
It is extremely important that as many submissions as possible are made. Le= t me encourage you to get your own submission together: 2 lines, 2 paragrap= hs or 2 pages ASAP. This is a golden opportunity to let your voice be heard= . See News & Info.
 

____________________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 33 years.= He is the grandfather of two children and father of five children, four bo= ys and one girl, ranging in age from 28 years to 16 years.  Warwi= ck is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.
Link of the Week<= /td>
Laughter
=
 
 3D"Granny
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four= males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bag= s, drew her handgun and proceeded to scream at them at the top of her voice= , "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car you scumbags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like m= ad. Whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bag= s into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tri= ed and tried, to no avail. And then it dawned on her why.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farthe= r down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with lau= ghter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white ma= les were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white,= less than 5' tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed. AH ......... SENIOR MOMENTS !!!!
Grandfathers
=
3D"Husband 
 
The most important thing
a father can do for his children
is to love their mother.
 
Theodore Hesburg
Single Dads
=
 
3D"Father
 
 
How Single Parents Can Eras= e Poverty Consciousness
by Solo-Dad on January 16, 2009 =B7

We hear a lot about poverty these days. Turn on your radio or televisi= on and very likely you'll hear terms like financial crisis, economic downtu= rn, bad economy, credit crunch, bank failure. It seems it's all anyone can = talk about these days.
I've often thought about the link between our language, even our thoughts, = and our circumstances. In my life, there has always been a very obvious lin= k between my thoughts and my life circumstances.
If I think about a shrinking bank balance and ruminate on whether or not I'= ll have next month's rent, my actions and attitude bring about that reality= . On the other hand, if I think about positive cash flow and financial gain= , I'm surprised by the inflow of the same.

Is that really possible?

In 2007, I was self employed. I had some regular clients and my books were = selling so cash flow was OK, but not what I wanted it to be. So I stepped o= ut on faith, the power of positive thinking, whatever you like.  I mad= e a commitment to the Universe that I would realize $20,000 in unexpected revenue. I held on to that thought and= believed it would happen.  By year's end, a single consulting client = (who seemed to drop into my lap from nowhere) had paid me $20,000 in fees.&= nbsp; Of course, I worked for it and didn't just lay on the beach while money washed up on shore, but it happened.

It proved to me that the link between our thoughts and our circumstances is= real.

Are we modeling poverty consciousness?

As single parents, whether we realize it or not, we model life for our kids= on a 24/7 basis. It's like we're strutting our stuff up and down the runwa= y, foot-lit all day long while our kids play the role of glitzy photographe= rs preserving every move for posterity.

Of course, they're not using cameras, but their eyes and ears.
In this way, we have a direct role in whether or not they adopt our norms, = attitudes, language and practices around money, life, love and everything e= lse.
That, like everything else about single parenting (eat my dust, Ann Coulter= ), is an awesome responsibility. If we model prosperity consciousness, our = kids will most likely adopt healthy attitudes and behaviors. Conversely, if= we model poverty consciousness, they will likely adopt more negative attitudes and behaviors. According to= Mike Dooley, 'thoughts become things; so why not choose the good ones?&quo= t;

Erasing poverty consciousness

Since multitasking is largely a myth (I can only do one thing at a time and= I assume since you're human, you're in the same boat), we can't simultaneo= usly think about positive and negative.   We can't think about pr= osperity and poverty at the same time. It isn't possible.
Because we're humans conditioned by society to want, want, want...we tend t= o think more often about what we lack. It's been said that the only people = who think about the poor are the poor. In a metaphysical sense, I guess thi= s holds some validity.
If we continually dwell on what's missing, we live in lack. Whatever y= ou're most habituated to think about (prosperity v. poverty) is what your k= ids are learning and adopting.
 
Parents can erase poverty consciousness from the world.  How?&nbs= p; Not my creating some mass movement with celebrities and politicians maki= ng personal appearances...no, simply my making a choice to think more posit= ively.

Positive thinking leads to positive language. Positive language leads to po= sitive behavior. Positive behavior leads to positive outcomes.

Who wouldn't want to teach their children this way of living?

Kids take into the next adult generation the attitudes, norms, thought-patt= erns and idea of their parents.  The wrestle with them, reject some, a= dopt others and eventually make them their own.

If we as parents confront our own thought-patterns about poverty and prospe= rity; if we made a single shift in our thinking around money, we'd have the= power to erase poverty consciousness from the world and our kid's lives wo= uld be healthier, happier and full of positive outcomes.
Want a better world for your kids?
It begins with us.
3D"AlluNeed"All You Need is Love
=
 
.<= br>  My Parents Had a Divorce...3D"Divorce
by A. E. a student at the University of California
Irvine online newspaper Volume 42, Issue 15
Jan 26 2009
 
My parents got divorced shortly after Sept11. It happened, like the coup de= grace of a one-two punch. So every time I think back to that October after= noon when they sat my brother and me down in the guest bedroom, I involunta= rily think of burning and collapsing buildings. I don't think I need to explain the symbolism any further. I wa= s in seventh grade, my middle brother in fifth and my youngest in pre-schoo= l.
 
It didn't really come as a surprise to me. In fact, I was expecting =AD and= dreading =AD it. In the preceding months, I heard them fight more and more= through closed doors and from upstairs to the point that I thought it was = normal. That's when the dreading began.
 
So when my mom asked my middle brother and me =AD(they didn't tell my young= est brother until later) =AD  "Would you please come into the gue= st room with us for a second? " a pre-recorded message punched on in m= y brain. Please don't let them be getting a divorce, please don't let them be getting a divorce.
 
But they were. Damn my ESP.
 
I don't remember everything in specific detail, but I think my mother did m= ost of the talking. She sat with us on the floor against the bed, my dad in= an office chair. My mom started by gently informing us that they had been = fighting a lot recently =AD as if everyone within a two-house radius of us hadn't heard.
 
There was more easing-into, and all the while I had this sinking feeling in= my chest that kept growing heavier. When she finally uttered the words, &q= uot;So your father and I are getting separated," I felt like 15,000 vo= lts had jumped through my body.
 
My middle brother buried his face in my mom's shoulder and cried a lot. Lou= d and shameless sweater-muffled wails that I'm sure made my youngest brothe= r curious about what was going on behind the locked door. I didn't react fo= r a while, and the three of us just sat in silence, while my brother continued to cry.
 
I know my dad said something to break the silence. I don't remember what, b= ut I remember how. My father was an old-world man of fifty, serious and dow= n-to-earth, but also full of love and jocularity. He had survived religious= persecution, poverty, war, immigration and three boys. In short, he was and still is my hero, the person that I b= ase so many of my life philosophies on.
 
That day in the guest room was the first and only time in my life I have ev= er seen him cry. Seeing his eyes wet, face redden, nose sniff until he fina= lly buried his face in one hand and shook silently was like watching Superm= an plummet from the sky. That moment was one of my burning towers and even though I've tried, I can't forget ab= out it.
 
I must have said less than ten words throughout the whole ordeal. My parent= s kept trying to get me to talk but I refused. My brother, in stark contras= t, bared his soul to the guest room and cried himself hoarse.
 
But I seethed inside. I was surprisingly wrathful. When we were done some t= hree hours later, I promptly got up and left without a word.
 
I remember a lot of anger the following months. I leapt at my brothers' thr= oats for piddling reasons, was cold to my parents and there was some sponta= neous crying on everyone's part, except the youngest brother's. I don't rea= lly know when they broke the news to him.
 
I was angry at everything and everyone. I hated my math teacher because I s= ucked at math. I hated my school whenever some kids made fun of me. And I h= ated my parents for not loving each other,=AD for not loving me. I felt bet= rayed and lonely.
 
There was a lot of anger. My parents gave me a blank sketchbook and suggest= ed I write down what I was feeling as a source of emotional release.
 
I won't repeat what I filled that sketchbook with, but I will tell you I pu= t down a lot of hateful,=AD and now that I think about it,=AD scary thought= s and images. Over the years, I evened out. But it's scary to think how muc= h fury I had in me.
 
Eventually, my father lost his job and had to move up to the Silicon Valley= because he couldn't find a job down here. The rest of us stayed here, and = he supported the whole family from afar. He was nearing his sixties, and I = suspect ageism played a filthy hand in denying him so many jobs.
 
By then it was just me, my mother and two brothers. I wasn't nearly so angr= y by that time. At first my father came to visit every weekend, then every = two, then every three, then once a month. That's as bad as he let it get.  
Soon he refused to come inside the house because it "held too many mem= ories." I initially scoffed at this and wrote it off as weakness becau= se I was young and knew everything.
 
Then I experienced my first bad break-up and found I could no longer enter = my ex-girlfriend's house =AD- the smell, the furniture, the atmosphere were= all too much. When my mother got re-married, my father made it a point to = park around the corner from the house to pick us up during his visits so he wouldn't run into her husband. I don= 't think he ever did.
 
My dad would drive 300 miles so he could see us, his only kids. An eight-ho= ur trip, one-way.
 
I've heard some kids go through the phase of wondering what they did wrong = to make their parents choose to get divorced. They take fault for something= that they could in no way have prevented. I don't think I went through tha= t.
 
I wholeheartedly, 100 percent put the blame on my parents. That may or may = not have been a result of my immaturity, and as I said, I was an angry kid = when my parents broke up.
 
That's more or less where I am now. My middle brother has gone off to colle= ge. My mother divorced her second husband (I only felt sad for my
mother) and has now moved up north near my father with my youngest brother.= Not to get back together, but so the youngest can develop a relationship w= ith his real father before he gets too old.
 
It puts a small emotional strain on me when I go back to my hometown, for m= y friends =AD namely, by making me homeless =AD but I want my little brothe= r to see his real father, too. And secretly, I just like seeing them all to= gether at once when I go home to visit.
 
We're not a "real " nuclear family like before; my parents live i= n separate apartments and shuttle my little brother back and forth between = them. But it beats the hell out of my father having to drive sixteen hours = total just to see us. All I want for them is the stability and peace of mind they deserve so much.
 
My parents get along fine now, and my mother even goes out to dinner with u= s sometimes when we're with our father. I'm never sad at those dinners.
 

Special Feature
 3D= 
Most Outstanding Child Entry:
Braden Pitcher, 13 years old, Camberwell VIC3D"Camping
 
The Challenge
I believe that many Australian kids do not receive love from two parents. T= his causes kids to be disruptive and violent in classrooms. They can't cont= rol themselves and take all their anger and sadness out on others. I have w= itnessed this at my old primary school, and you feel you just can't communicate with them. You can tell so= mething's wrong but when you offer to help, they snap. It's a battle that m= any kids go through and nothing is done about it. Having only one parent ma= kes the other parent stressed and they get angry easily. This way kids feel like they can't do anything righ= t. It is an issue which saddened me to see happen and I felt as though some= one needs to take action. This was a good way for me, 13, to express my tho= ughts and take action. After all it's a battle we must fight!!
 
The Solution
I think that you could set up a camp in the school holidays for bo= th 2 weeks, which incorporates kids and parents working together in teams. = For example, for one kid you need one adult. At the camps you are separated= from your parent and they are swapped for someone else's parent either of the same or the opposite sex. They bec= ome your parent for the two weeks. Then you are put evenly into groups, so = say 20 families came - 5 pairs of people in each group. This will enable th= e kids to not only feel what another parent would be like but also be accompanied by kids with the same problem= . At the end of the first week you revisit your actual parent and tell them= how it's going. They can involve activities such as High Ropes Courses etc= . these involve you having to work as a team. The camps can go to different places depending on the seasons. = eg. summer: Whitsundays or Gold Coast, winter: Mt. Buller or Lake Mountain.=   Something like this idea will help kids focus their energy on the ri= ght things.
 
The Fundraising
If Matt Haydon can help you out then you can pretty much do anythi= ng. I was thinking that most answers would be carnivals, cake stalls, relea= sing recipe books, or races. Sure they're all good, but you have to think w= hat would people actually pay tickets for. I thought you could have 2 little matches. These matches consist of s= ay Essendon Footy Club (any club really?) and the Victorian Cricket team wh= o play each other in each others sport. People would come and pay for this = because it would be a really funny game to watch. It can be played in the off-season so it doesn't affect the= actual teams during season, and fans will want more footy or cricket anywa= y. SO IT WILL BE A BIG TURNOUT!!
News & Info
 <= font size=3D"2" face=3D"Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif">
3D"NewsInfo"3D"healthy
 
Men's Health Inquiry
Call for Submissions
The Federal Senate has established a Select Committee on Me= n's Health to inquire into general issues related to the availability and e= ffectiveness of education, supports and services for men's health. The Sena= te Select Committee has extended the closing date for submissions' to the 13th March 20= 09.

Many men in the movement have wondered why this inquiry is underway in the = light of the Labor Government's promise to institute a long awaited Nationa= l Mens' Heath Policy. Currently there are hearings for the same initiative = being held in several different states.

The simple answer is this inquiry has come out of the Senate and is a Publi= c Inquiry with a transparent and open reporting to the Senate of its findin= gs, where as the current Labor Government process of consultations will ult= imately be decided upon by government bureaucrats behind closed doors.

While hopeful of the ultimate policy recommendations we cannot be guarantee= d that the final policy will not be a based upon the" Male Def= icit" governmental policy platform which has dominated government poli= cy for the last 30 years.

The Select Committee on Men's Health will inquire into general issues inclu= ding but not limited to:

1. level of Commonwealth, state and other funding addressing m= en's health, particularly prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and depressio= n,

2. adequacy of existing education and awareness campaigns rega= rding men's health for both men and the wider community,

3. prevailing attitudes of men towards their own health and se= nse of wellbeing and how these are affecting men's health in general, and

4. the extent, funding and adequacy for treatment services and= general support programs for men's health in metropolitan, rural, regional= and remote areas.

The committee is to report by 30 May 2009. Submissions are= due by the new closing date 13th March 2009. For inf= ormation go to: http://www.aph.gov.au/Senate/committee/menshealth_ctte/tor.htm
or phone (02) 6277 3559

 Father drugged then killed his two children during divorce&nb= sp;

The children had been happy at the thought of spending the weekend with him= and were carrying home-made Father's Day cards for him.
Brian Philcox, 53, sat hand-in-hand with his daughter Amy, seven, and son O= wen, three, in the back seat of his Land Rover as it filled with fumes.

Dad's Prayer
3D"DadsPraye= 
3D"Dad 
Dear God
 
Wilhelm Busch said,
"Becoming a father isn't difficult,
but it's very difficult to be a father"
and yet children are searching for fathers.
 
Help me be found by the ones I love.
If it means playing in the yard
with my children,
let me be found.
If it means stopping to listen more,
let me be found.
If it means saying no occasionally,
let me be found.
If it means giving more cuddles,
let me be found.
Just as You found me,
let me be found by the ones I love.
 
Help Us!

3D"HelpUs"The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source= of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence&= nbsp; in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, in= volved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt fo= r tax deductibility)

BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br> PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW  2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

 

You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, = or you have been subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

=3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org.
Fatherhood Foundation | P.O= . Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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