Received: from evaki.its.uow.edu.au (130.130.68.32) by staffmail.uow.edu.au (10.5.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server id 8.1.340.0; Sun, 29 Mar 2009 09:28:18 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by evaki.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1Lnh0j-0000ap-PN for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 29 Mar 2009 09:28:17 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.10.3-GA) with ESMTP id RGK15907; Sun, 29 Mar 2009 08:28:09 +1000 (EST) Received: from p2-ws508.ad.prodcc.net (unknown [10.252.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id A914534E8B6A for ; Sat, 28 Mar 2009 18:10:39 -0400 (EDT) From: Fatherhood Foundation To: Brian Lane Date: Sun, 29 Mar 2009 09:10:53 +1100 Subject: Ten Tips for Dads Thread-Topic: Ten Tips for Dads Thread-Index: Acmv9H5yoEUf2CtpSXaxUF0Z02dc0A== Message-ID: <1102521483786.1101938345415.1211.8.103181019@scheduler> List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykE2Z1ZeevHmYU_XkUd8q1PA== Reply-To: "info@fathersonline.org" Accept-Language: en-AU, en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthAs: Anonymous X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthSource: excasht03.ad.uow.edu.au X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: x-junkmail-status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au x-junkmail-sd-raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A150201.49CEA481.0077:SCFMA772204,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2008-09-22 23:22:13, dmn=5.7.1/2008-09-02, mode=single engine x-junkmail-iwf: false x-return-path-hint: ESC1102521483786_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com x-roving-id: 1101938345415.1211 x-lumos-senderid: 1101938345415 x-roving-campaignid: 1102521483786 x-roving-streamid: 0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_1102521483786110193834541512118103181019scheduler_" MIME-Version: 1.0 --_000_1102521483786110193834541512118103181019scheduler_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable HTML Web Version Dads4Kids Newsletter [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/526.gif?a=3D1= 102521483786] 30th March 2009 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 345 [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/3m9q9k8q.jpg] Ten Tips for Dads Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for Fathers and Families as we present Ten Tips for Dads In This Issue Frontline...Ten Tips for Dads Link...Granny Hughes Laughter..Sleepy Head dad Grandfathers...Kids & Kites Single Dads...Dire Straits..DIDS All You Need is Love..Modern Love Special Feature...Hate my Father News & Info..Stats are out Dad's Prayer..Ten Tips to be a Great Dad Next Week Longshots - 'A Lesson in Manhood' [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] Join our Mailing List! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/ftf_btn_1.gif] Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation Dads in Distress Men to Men Malachi Global Marriage com au Mannet Living Waters Care for the Family Wild at Heart CSA Adverts Help Us Help Others Thought of the Week [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/677.jpg?a=3D1= 102521483786][http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] It takes time to be a good father. It takes effort - trying, failing and trying again. Tim Hansel Frontline [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/678.jpg?a=3D1= 102521483786] Let me share with you Ten Tips for Dads. The tips are not all my own ideas = but that just shows that there is truth to the statement, "There is nothing= new under the sun." I can assure you however that I have practiced all these ideas with varying= degrees of success. If you can put all these ideas into practice you will = be a lot better father than I, which is essentially the whole point of the = exercise. 1) Plan Your Work and Work Your Plan In other words set priorities on how you spend your time. I struggle with setting priorities but I assure you it is imperative to lis= t what is most important to you. I work hard at this one and fail regularly= . If your family is important, it will rise to the top. If not, it will alway= s be at the bottom of your list. Children spell love T-I-M-E. Wives spell love A-T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N. When we get family first, the other 9 tips will follow easily. 2) Sit Down & Eat as a Family Once a Day. Ideally the evening meal as it is often less time-pressured. Make sure the TV is off and if necessary take the phone off the hook as wel= l. This is a biggy and you neglect it at your peril. Eating together releases oxytocin, the cuddle hormone. This is one of one hundred good reasons to e= at together as a family regularly. 3) Reserve One Night Each Week for Family. I first picked this one up from the author of 'Seven Habits of Highly Succe= ssful Families' by Stephen Covey six years ago. This tip is a must-do. For each of my 5 children (28-16 years) and their sp= ouses, Family Night Dinner Get Together is their favourite night of the wee= k. Make it yours too. You will not be disappointed! 4) Develop an Attitude of Gratitude. You as a father must be thankful if you want your family to be thankful. Teach your children to say thank you from a young age. Say thanks to God (G= race) at each meal. Always thank the cook and at the same time practice giv= ing as a family. Giving and saying thank you are two sides of the same coin= for happy families. 5) F-U-N is a Three Letter Word. Children understand this from a very early age. Plan fun times and family outings. Fun can be spontaneous but works well pl= anned in advance. Fun, nine times out of ten, means activity: camping, hiking, swimming, tour= ing, sport, dancing, bicycling, exploring, hunting, boating, surfing, fishi= ng, sight-seeing, travelling, playing music, going to concerts, barbecues, = digging a garden, working together, eating together, playing together and t= he list goes on. Fun is what you make it! 6) Turn Off the Television, Computer and Other Electronic Gadgetry. Having a technology free day once a week is essential. Alternatively ration= technology. When our children were young we did without a TV for several years. It was = one of the best things we did. It forced us to communicate with one another= and all my children became good readers. Too much TV not only kills the br= ain but the heart as well. 7) Daddy Dates. You can't go past this one. This is one thing I have not been as successful at as I should have been, b= ut when I have taken time to do something special one-on-one with my childr= en, I have seen a massive return on my investment of time. Some dads do thi= s each week with each of their children. 8) Participate in Your Children's Activities. Help them with their interests, their hobbies, their homework, their sports= , their music. Doing so brings you down to their level. Remember the song 'Cats in the Cra= dle' by H= arry Chapin. Be involved in their activities when they are young and they w= ill be with you for the rest of your life. 9) Adopt a Family Hobby or Activity. For many families this is sport, for us it was music. The family that plays= together stays together is a wonderful truism. There are many activities t= hat you can adopt. What makes your heart sing? Follow the sound you hear in= the hearts of your children. What do you do well and what do you enjoy? What do each of your children do well and enjoy? Answer these questions and your family hobby or activity will be staring yo= u in the face. 10) Pray. Famous rapper MC Hammer said, "You gotta pray just to make it today'. Or in= other words, 'The family that prays together stays together'. Find a church that your children enjoy but most importantly enjoy the One y= ou pray to. The chief end of man is not to be boring but 'enjoyable'. If yo= ur spiritual life is something you enjoy, naturally it will be contagious. = Heaven will always be at home in a joyful heart. We must become the change = we seek. Our children will do what we do, not what we say. __________________________________[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs0= 07/1101938345415/img/679.jpg?a=3D1102521483786] Tread Softly If you have never done any of these tips before and you try to introduce th= em without proper consultation with the family you could end up with World = War III on your hands. World peace starts in the home. Talk to your wife, t= alk to your children about implementing these ideas. Ed Cole said, "The pla= ce of agreement is the place of power." The younger your children, the easi= er it is to introduce change. The important thing to do is to make a start = and do what you can Dad. Lovework If you could put all of the above ten tips into practice regularly you will= be doing better than me, which as I said before is the whole point of the = exercise. Yours for more 'best dads in the world' Warwick Marsh PS If you missed out on last week's newsletter, 'Fathers & the Global Finan= cial Crisis' check out the links at our website. Its scary stuff but you need to = check it out and make your own decisions. ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 33 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ran= ging in age from 28 years to 16 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himsel= f. Link of the Week Grandmother Hughes Laughter [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/671.jpg?a=3D= 1102521483786] My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find my f= ather, my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asle= ep. Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at the ba= ck door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car horn arou= sed the neighbors but no one at our house. We drove into town and phoned home, finally waking Steven. When we got back= , he let us in. Dad was in bed, snoring, with the television on. Mom quietly switched it of= f. Dad woke right up. "Don't turn that off," he said. "I'm watching it!" Grandfathers [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/676.jpg?a=3D1= 102521483786] Children are not so different from kites . . . Children were created to fly. But they need wind - the undergirding and strength that comes from unconditional love, encouragement and prayer. Gigi Graham Tchividjian Single Dads [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] Open Letter to Australian Men[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/11= 01938345415/img/290.jpg?a=3D1102521483786] Dear Friends I am writing to inform you of the dire situation Dads in Distress find them= selves in yet once again. Our funding is about to cease in approximately 13= weeks and as a result, if nothing is forthcoming, we will have to close ou= r doors. Below is a comment by Graham Orams in the Daily Examiner, Coffs Harbour. Inequality in men's health www.dailyexaminer.com.au Saturday, Ma= rch 14, 2009 Comment Graham Orams graham.orams@dailyexaminer.com.au Gee I'd like a dollar for every time I've written about men's issues being = given a lower priority by governments. Today's page one story is just anoth= er example of that. It's not enough that Federal Governments have allowed much more public mone= y to be ploughed into research into women's diseases, now they don't even s= ee the issue of men's suicide as important enough to fund grass-roots organ= isations working tirelessly to help. Dads in Distress (DIDS) was founded to help men - many at the point of suic= ide-to emerge from the other side of a traumatic experience intact. Unfortunately for us blokes, men are an easy target for governments to with= draw or withhold funding because they know we're less likely to jump up and= down about it. I congratulate women's groups on being so organised and successful. They ge= t loud, get heard and get results. However, that doesn't excuse our governments for bowing to pressure when th= ey should instead be using some integrity. I advocate passionately for men's issues because so few do. Tony Miller and= our local DIDS coordinator Paul Dwyer know how important it is for men to = take some inspiration from women and get off their bums and get heard too. I am disgusted at the way our political system often handles important men'= s issues. Our politicians need to begin to treat issues like health with ge= nuine equality. 'Our governments should instead be using some integrity' Graham Orams Daily Examiner As you are aware our service is crucial, especially in today's economic cli= mate with more families at breaking point than ever. It seems strange when = this Government announces a new men's health policy and a senate inquiry in= to men's health, that ongoing funding for a group that has been operating f= or nearly 9 years in suicide prevention would be left to go under. Please c= onsider writing to your local federal member of parliament or alert your lo= cal newspaper. Yours sincerely Tony Miller Founder DIDS Inc [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif]All You Need is Love Modern Love In a Charmed Life, a Road Less Travelled March 8, 2009 The New York Times[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007= /1101938345415/img/675.jpg?a=3D1102521483786] By Layng Martine Jnr MY wife and I were in a motel in Roanoke, Va., on our way home from three m= onths at the Hershey Medical Center in Pennsylvania, where she had been con= valescing after being crippled in a car accident. It was our first night aw= ay from the skill and comfort of the nurses we had come to depend on, and s= o far, so good. Then we woke up and smelled something. It smelled like a bowel movement. I = lifted up the sheets. It was a bowel movement, and it was in our bed. We knew we had a lot to learn, but we had no idea how much. Hearing the word paraplegic had made us focus on the big thing, the fact th= at Linda could no longer walk. Less anticipated were the smaller humiliatio= ns and inconveniences, like bowel movements in bed or on the way to a party= , sores that came out of nowhere and took months or years to heal, and inac= cessible restroom stalls that caused Linda to have to catheterize herself i= n the public area where people were washing their hands and talking. And on it went, the list of indignities. She couldn't watch 'Good Morning A= merica' if the remote fell off the bed when she reached for her glasses. Sh= e wet the seat on airplanes and in friends' cars. She could no longer feel = sexual intercourse (and the powerful muscle spasms in her legs threatened t= o crush anyone who tried). But we've learned, and adapted. Now we know the places with good handicappe= d-access bathrooms (Starbucks), which airline makes things easiest (Southwe= st), which cities have smooth curb cuts (San Francisco), and which movie th= eaters don't make us sit four feet from the screen. Anyone who is in love is living a charmed life, especially if you've been i= n love for many years, through good times and bad. I have been crazy about = Linda since the first time I saw her. We always felt we could handle any ch= allenge because we were facing it together. This time we knew we had the wi= ll, but the demands were so exhausting, the changes so pervasive, that some= times we wondered how we would cope. This incredibly capable woman who loved to hike mountains, ride waves, and = run marathons, who had cleared our sizable backyard of eight-foot-high bram= bles and helped me move all our furniture into three houses, suddenly could= n't do any of those things, ever again. Not long after getting home from the hospital, when we were having dinner b= y candlelight at our kitchen table, she burst into tears. "I don't know if = I can do this for the rest of my life," she said. All I could say was, "We'll do it together." We began to think of what we could do to replace playing tennis, walking on= the beach, working in the garden. Since Linda loves the ocean, a friend fo= und a specially designed beach chair made of PVC tubing with wide inflated = tires that allow it to be pushed across the sand. It's yellow and white wit= h a big red umbrella. The first time I saw Linda sitting atop those tubes and under the red umbre= lla, I told her she looked like Ronald McDonald's homecoming queen...... This is only the opening, for the full article: http://tinyurl.com/bpvhka Special Feature [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/672.jpg?a=3D= 1102521483786] Hate for my Father By Tony Palombi In my last article I talked about my growing up in a divorced home and writ= ing of my journey in which I restored my faith in God, got married and had = four kids. To date we have been happily married for 18 years. I wanted to focus this article on the time that my father contacted me out = of the blue. My dad left when I was 3 years old and he never saw me my enti= re life. One day I answered the phone and this person on the other end of i= t said that he was my dad. I answered with a statement," I don't have a dad= ." (Its funny how this had become my life's mantra by now). I was almost ye= lling and then I hung up the phone. Feelings of confusion and anger hit me = like a punch in the chest. The story went that my dad had suffered a heart = attack, nearly died, and came out of it wanting to make contact with his si= x children some 25 years later. At this point I hated him, and everything he did to my mum, and never did w= ith me. I always boasted that I would never associate with him - EVER! That Sunday I went to church, which at this time was all new to me. I had j= ust recently given my life to Jesus. Anyone will testify that when you walk= with Jesus the first thing you receive, after being sorry, is forgiveness.= It was quite overwhelming to have experienced this kind of love in my life= . That morning in church, as I gave God my confusion, I felt God asking me to= forgive my father. I remember saying to God that I couldn't. It went somet= hing like, "Are you serious? Do you know what he did?" The thought of it was too much and I knew I couldn't do it and asked God t= o please help me get through. As I let go, I cried, yes in public. I was tr= ying to hide my tears, but it all just gushed out of me. I let it all go, a= nd it kept coming. I left church that day by telling myself that I hated my dad. I wanted to t= est my heart to see if hate existed. But, I couldn't hate him. I can honest= ly say that this happened in under 30 minutes. I had let out 25 years of ha= te and confusion and let it all go to forgive. This went against all my log= ic, but it made sense in my heart. It was strange because then I, the rejected one, began to pursue a meeting = with him, introduce my wife and at that time, my first daughter to him. I was going to meet a stranger, my father by blood, but at least I was free= of hate. I will let you know how our first meeting went in my next article, and how = we spent the next 7 years communicating until his death in 1998. News & Info [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/673.jpg?a=3D= 1102521483786] Women still doing the housework WOMEN are still doing almost twice the amount of household work as men but = at least the males are pulling their weight outside, a report on social tre= nds says. The Australian Bureau of Statistics has released its quarterly snapshot of = Australain society and it shows households have allocated "his and her'' ch= ores. Between 1992 and 2006, the average time men spent on household work rose by= an hour and 25 minutes to 18 hours and 20 minutes a week. Family Relationships Quarterly Newsletter The Australian Institute of Family Studies latest newsletter is available f= or download. Of particluar interest is the survey on reasons for Marrying. Childcare Costs to Rise CHILDCARE costs are set to soar as the states and territories look at forci= ng centres to hire more staff. And parents may face another blow as the Federal Government's quality watch= dog insists that $3 billion a year in subsidies to working parents be scrap= ped. Parents ask for Corporal Punishment THE cane is still being wielded at some Queensland schools where parents si= gn legal waivers to give teachers the power to hit their children. The corporal punishment option is offered at some of the state's fastest-gr= owing independent schools as part of their strict behaviour management stra= tegies. _____________________________________________________________ Open Letter 13 March 2009 Dear Senators On the issue of men's health I believe there is a widespread trend amongst = most western cultures which places particular focus on women's health issue= s compared to men. One example of that culture which dates back more than a= hundred years was the sinking of the Titanic: There were not enough lifebo= ats, the captain gave the order: "Women and children first". It is my belie= f that order was given by members of a community which placed a higher leve= l of importance on the safety and well being of women compared to men. It i= s my belief the culture which existed on that fateful evening is still wide= ly reflected today in Australian Government and society. As a man it is a culture which I embrace to my own detriment. It feels inhe= rently wrong for me to advocate the prospect of placing men's health issues= at a higher level of importance compared to women. To do so seems to lack = care and consideration for the other gender. There are a number of health issues which have different effects for women = compared to men, for example, different levels of smoking, levels of diet a= nd exercise, diseases which affect one gender and not the other. The cause = of the difference in life expectancy, is medical, cultural, and reflects th= e different pressures which one gender experiences compared to the other. The complexity of the issue is exemplified in issues such as the different = levels of community concern for some cancers compared to others. The differ= ent appeal some cancers have to public sentiment, compared to others and th= e apparent increased incidence dependent upon individual lifestyle choices.= For example cervical cancer, breast cancer, testicular cancer, prostrate c= ancer, lung cancer and bowel cancer. Who amongst us would presume to determ= ine which cancers are of greater importance amongst all those......Not I. It is my understanding that Australian men's life expectancy is 4.8 years l= ess than Australian women's. The difference has remained significant for so= me time. Men can on average expect nearly five years less life expectancy, = clearly something must be done. I believe the role of Government on the issue of men's health should be to = try to guide the community on resolving its health issues, with an awarenes= s that men have a disadvantage in the lower level of importance placed on t= heir health and well being. The example I would like to use is suicide. Suicide rates are approximately= three times as high for men compared to women. I believe the role of gover= nment should be to raise the profile of suicide, to try to reduce rates for= both men and women, in the knowledge if all suicide rates are reduced, the= re is a benefit to the community, and it will go some way to tackling the i= mbalance of a lower life expectancy for men compared to women. It is my belief the role of Government should be to raise awareness and ass= ist the community in tackling its health issues, without trying to exclude = one gender compared to the other, but with the knowledge that men have a lo= wer life expectancy and cultural disadvantage on health issues compared to = women. Adrian Smyth _____________________________________________ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation I would like to share with you about my Daughter Naomi's Rite of Passage. W= e had about 16 women & 4 young ladies to help my Daughter celebrate this un= ique time in her life. Each person brought their unique experiences to what= & how a godly women should behave & act .They also explained to my daught= er that she has support network if she ever needed someone to speak to for = a different perspective from our immediate family. The time spent was of lo= ve, laughter & a few tears, it was an emotional & special time with these m= ature women blessing & initiating my daughter into womanhood. I believe thi= s day will be in her memory well into her advanced years as the day she bec= ame a woman. It was a very special day for my wife & myself as we saw our f= amily & friends come together to celebrate this ceremony. Regards Michael Irwin PS : My regards To Brian Molitor & his wife for their books & cd's that ass= isted us immensely. Adrian Smyth ____________________________________________ Dear Fatherhood Foundation As you know there is a well coordinated attack on the government's reasonab= le and wise internet filtering trial. We would greatly appreciate support f= rom any of your readers. He is our online comment we posted today.... We have sympathy for Conroy. He and the filtering trial have received unpre= cedented attack mainly through disinformation. The intention of the governm= ent is simple. A two phase filter. 1) a blacklist (easy to manage, with no = slowdown effect) this blacklist is all the RC content that is illegal on TV= , radio, print, movies and customs would confiscate it if they found it 2) = a dynamic OPT-OUT (emphasis on opt-out) filter of a wider range of undesira= bles that parents would want to protect their children from. The best filte= r tested (closed enviro.) so far only slowed internet by 3% (a fact anti-fi= lter lobbyist ignore). As for the porn-addicts out there, they can get thei= r own ISP account and turn the dynamic filter OFF. In summary, if you have = a problem with government's plan on censorship grounds then complain to ACM= A, and express why you want to engage in illegal activity etc. If you oppos= e it on tech. grounds why not wait and see how the trial goes, and/or come = up with some solutions. Our children need our help and protection. Spokespe= rson Victorian Branch Australian Family Association. Luke McCormack Acting Secretary Victoria Australian Family Association vic@family.org.au Dad's Prayer [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/680.jpg?a=3D1= 102521483786] Dear God[http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] Ten tips to be a great dad But why are they so hard to do. "The good that I want to do I cant, And the bad that I don't want to do I do". It seems impossible sometimes, Two steps forward one step backwards, Sometimes its five steps backward! What's that I hear you say "keep pressing on. It's all about your forward motion, When you call I'll be there When you fall I will pick you up Just like you do with your own children, Because I love you more than you love them". Help Us! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif]The Fatherhood Foundation = is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in f= athering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, pr= otective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and thei= r children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax = Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. Forward email [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/safe_unsubscribe_logo.gif] This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org. Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(tm) | Pri= vacy Policy. Email Marketing= by [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/cc-logo-color-sm.gif] Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia --_000_1102521483786110193834541512118103181019scheduler_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
HTML Web Version Dads4Kids Newsletter
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3D"Dads4Kids
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=09 =09 = =09 =09 =09
 30th March 2009      Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families  Issue 345
 

 

 
Ten Tips for Dads
<= /strong>
Dear Brian,
Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information = service for Fathers and Families as we present Ten Tips for Dads
=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Ten Tips for Dads
Link...Granny Hughes
Laughter..Sleepy Head dad
Grandfathers...Kids & Kites
Single Dads...Dire Straits..DIDS
All You Need is Love..Modern Love
Special Feature...Hate my Father
News & Info..Stats are out
Dad's Prayer..Ten Tips to be a Great Dad
Next Week&nb= sp;
Longshots - 'A Lesson in Manhood'
 =09 =09
= Join our Mailing List!
 
Quick Links
Fatherhood Foundation
 
 
Marriage com au
 
 

<= a track=3D"on" href=3D"http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?et=3D1102521483786&s=3D1211&e= =3D001G9HaIyoAdF0aJza0CV5s28cpcrt9HSr73lJlvL3QqZmYj-e_hFERipsThMShgZuls49qX= TXjvFTdNIRBHZFk7I1RXXh562MVYWiF_SqwOtDadnB2Vt7fVVqhTALWVbzVwIZ3Bayf-HU=3D" = linktype=3D"link" target=3D"_blank">Care for the Family =20
 
Wild at Heart =20
 
 
Thought of the Week
It takes time to be a good father.
It tak= es effort -
trying, failing and trying again.
 
Tim Ha= nsel
 
<= /div>
Frontline
=  =20
3D"Dads_kids"
Let me share w= ith you Ten Tips for Dads. The tips are not all my own ideas but that just = shows that there is truth to the statement, "There is nothing new under the= sun."
 
I can assure you however that I have practiced all = these ideas with varying degrees of success. If you can put all these ideas= into practice you will be a lot better father than I, which is essentially= the whole point of the exercise.
 
1) Plan Your Wor= k and Work Your Plan
In other words set priorities on how you= spend your time.
I struggle with setting priorities but I assure you = it is imperative to list what is most important to you. I work hard at this= one and fail regularly.
 
If your family is important, it w= ill rise to the top. If not, it will always be at the bottom of your list.<= br /> 
Children spell love T-I-M-E.
Wives spell love= A-T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N.
 
When we get family first, the= other 9 tips will follow easily.
 
2) Sit Down & Ea= t as a Family Once a Day.
Ideally the evenin= g meal as it is often less time-pressured.
Make sure the TV is off and= if necessary take the phone off the hook as well.
 
This is= a biggy and you neglect it at your peril.
 
Eating together= releases oxytocin, the cuddle horm= one. This is one of one hundred good reasons to eat together as a family re= gularly.
 
3) Reserve One Night Each Week for Family= .
I first picked this one up from the author of 'Seven Habits= of Highly Successful Families' by Stephen Covey six years ago.
 =
This tip is a must-do. For each of my 5 children (28-16 years) and th= eir spouses, Family Night Dinner Get Together is their favourite night of t= he week. Make it yours too. You will not be disappointed!
 
= 4) Develop an Attitude of Gratitude.
You as a father= must be thankful if you want your family to be thankful.
 
= Teach your children to say thank you from a young age. Say thanks to God (G= race) at each meal. Always thank the cook and at the same time practice giv= ing as a family. Giving and saying thank you are two sides of the same coin= for happy families.
 
5) F-U-N is a Three Letter Wo= rd.
Children understand this from a very early age.
&nbs= p;
Plan fun times and family outings. Fun can be spontaneous but works= well planned in advance.
 
Fun, nine times out of ten, mean= s activity: camping, hiking, swimming, touring, sport, dancing, bicycling, = exploring, hunting, boating, surfing, fishing, sight-seeing, travelling, pl= aying music, going to concerts, barbecues, digging a garden, working togeth= er, eating together, playing together and the list goes on. Fun is what you= make it!
 
6) Turn Off the Television, Computer and= Other Electronic Gadgetry.
Having a technology free day once= a week is essential. Alternatively ration technology.
 
Whe= n our children were young we did without a TV for several years. It was one= of the best things we did. It forced us to communicate with one another an= d all my children became good readers. Too much TV not only kills the brain= but the heart as well.
 
7) Daddy Dates.
You can't go past this one.
 
This is one thing I have n= ot been as successful at as I should have been, but when I have taken time = to do something special one-on-one with my children, I have seen a massive = return on my investment of time. Some dads do this each week with each of t= heir children.
 
8) Participate in Your Children's A= ctivities.
Help them with their interests, their hobbies, the= ir homework, their sports, their music.
Doing so brings you down to t= heir level. Remember the song 'Cats in the Cradle' by Harry Chapin. Be involved in their activit= ies when they are young and they will be with you for the rest of your life= .
 
9) Adopt a Family Hobby or Activity.
For many families this is sport, for us it was music. The family that pl= ays together stays together is a wonderful truism. There are many activitie= s that you can adopt. What makes your heart sing? Follow the sound you hear= in the hearts of your children.
What do you do well and what do you e= njoy?
What do each of your children do well and enjoy?
Answer the= se questions and your family hobby or activity will be staring you in the f= ace.
 
10) Pray.
Famous rapper MC Hamm= er said, "You gotta pray just to make it today'. Or in other words, 'The fa= mily that prays together stays together'.
 
Find a church th= at your children enjoy but most importantly enjoy the One you pray to. The = chief end of man is not to be boring but 'enjoyable'. If your spiritual lif= e is something you enjoy, naturally it will be contagious. Heaven will alwa= ys be at home in a joyful heart. We must become the change we seek. Our chi= ldren will do what we do, not what we say.
___________________________= _______3D"Dad
 
Tread Softly
If you have never done an= y of these tips before and you try to introduce them without proper consult= ation with the family you could end up with World War III on your hands. Wo= rld peace starts in the home. Talk to your wife, talk to your children abou= t implementing these ideas. Ed Cole said, "The place of agreement is the pl= ace of power." The younger your children, the easier it is to introduce cha= nge. The important thing to do is to make a start and do what you can Dad.<= br /> 
Lovework
<= /font> 
If you could put all of the above ten tips into = practice regularly you will be doing better than me, which as I said before= is the whole point of the exercise.
 
Yours for more 'best = dads in the world'
Warwick Marsh
 
PS If you missed out= on last week's newsletter, 'Fathers & the Global Financial Crisis' check o= ut the links at our w= ebsite. Its scary stuff but you need to check it out and make your own = decisions.
___________________________________________________________= _________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alis= on for 33 years. He is the grandfather of two children and father of f= ive children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 28 years to = 16 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public spea= ker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.
Link of the Week
Laughter
= =
 3D"Watching
My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find= my father, my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast= asleep. Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at t= he back door and then the front and side doors.
We yelled my father's= name over and over, with no answer. The car horn aroused the neighbors but= no one at our house.
We drove into town and phoned home, finally wak= ing Steven. When we got back, he let us in.
Dad was in bed, snoring, = with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off.
Dad woke right u= p. "Don't turn that off," he said. "I'm watching it!" 
Grandfathers
 
3D"Childrenkites" 
Children are not so different from kites . . .
C= hildren were created to fly.
But they need wind -
the undergirdin= g and strength
that comes from unconditional love,
encouragement = and prayer.
 
Gigi Graham Tchividjian
Single Dads
 
 = ;
Open Letter to Australian Men3D"DIDS"
 
Dear Friends
 
I am writing to inform = you of the dire situation Dads in Distress find themselves in yet once agai= n. Our funding is about to cease in approximately 13 weeks and as a result,= if nothing is forthcoming, we will have to close our doors.
 Below is a comment by Graham Orams in the Daily Examiner, Coffs Harbour.=
 
Inequality in men's health 
 
www.dailyexamine= r.com.au  Saturday, March 14, 2009
 
Comment Graham= Orams graham.orams@dailyexaminer.com.au
 
Gee I'd like a d= ollar for every time I've written about men's issues being given a lower pr= iority by governments. Today's page one story is just another example of th= at.
 
It's not enough that Federal Governments have allowed = much more public money to be ploughed into research into women's diseases, = now they don't even see the issue of men's suicide as important enough to f= und grass-roots organisations working tirelessly to help.
 
= Dads in Distress (DIDS) was founded to help men - many at the point of suic= ide-to emerge from the other side of a traumatic experience intact.
&n= bsp;
Unfortunately for us blokes, men are an easy target for governmen= ts to withdraw or withhold funding because they know we're less likely to j= ump up and down about it.
 
I congratulate women's groups on= being so organised and successful. They get loud, get heard and get result= s.
 
However, that doesn't excuse our governments for bowing= to pressure when they should instead be using some integrity.
 <= br />I advocate passionately for men's issues because so few do. Tony Mille= r and our local DIDS coordinator Paul Dwyer know how important it is for me= n to take some inspiration from women and get off their bums and get heard = too.
 
I am disgusted at the way our political system often = handles important men's issues. Our politicians need to begin to treat issu= es like health with genuine equality.
 
'Our governments sho= uld instead be using some integrity'
 
Graham Orams Daily Ex= aminer
 
As you are aware our service is crucial, especially= in today's economic climate with more families at breaking point than ever= . It seems strange when this Government announces a new men's health policy= and a senate inquiry into men's health, that ongoing funding for a group t= hat has been operating for nearly 9 years in suicide prevention would be le= ft to go under. Please consider writing to your local federal member of par= liament or alert your local newspaper.
 
Yours sincerely
Tony Miller
Founder
DIDS Inc
 

All You Need is Love
Modern Love
In = a Charmed Life, a Road Less Travelled
March 8, 2009 The New York Times
By Layng Martine Jnr
 
MY wife and I were in a= motel in Roanoke, Va., on our way home from three months at the Hershey Me= dical Center in Pennsylvania, where she had been convalescing after being c= rippled in a car accident. It was our first night away from the skill and c= omfort of the nurses we had come to depend on, and so far, so good.
&n= bsp;
Then we woke up and smelled something. It smelled like a bowel mo= vement. I lifted up the sheets. It was a bowel movement, and it was in our = bed.
 
We knew we had a lot to learn, but we had no idea how= much.
 
Hearing the word paraplegic had made us focus on th= e big thing, the fact that Linda could no longer walk. Less anticipated wer= e the smaller humiliations and inconveniences, like bowel movements in bed = or on the way to a party, sores that came out of nowhere and took months or= years to heal, and inaccessible restroom stalls that caused Linda to have = to catheterize herself in the public area where people were washing their h= ands and talking.
 
And on it went, the list of indignities.= She couldn't watch 'Good Morning America' if the remote fell off the bed w= hen she reached for her glasses. She wet the seat on airplanes and in frien= ds' cars. She could no longer feel sexual intercourse (and the powerful mus= cle spasms in her legs threatened to crush anyone who tried).
 But we've learned, and adapted. Now we know the places with good handic= apped-access bathrooms (Starbucks), which airline makes things easiest (Sou= thwest), which cities have smooth curb cuts (San Francisco), and which movi= e theaters don't make us sit four feet from the screen.
 
An= yone who is in love is living a charmed life, especially if you've been in = love for many years, through good times and bad. I have been crazy about Li= nda since the first time I saw her. We always felt we could handle any chal= lenge because we were facing it together. This time we knew we had the will= , but the demands were so exhausting, the changes so pervasive, that someti= mes we wondered how we would cope.
 
This incredibly capable= woman who loved to hike mountains, ride waves, and run marathons, who had = cleared our sizable backyard of eight-foot-high brambles and helped me move= all our furniture into three houses, suddenly couldn't do any of those thi= ngs, ever again.
 
Not long after getting home from the hosp= ital, when we were having dinner by candlelight at our kitchen table, she b= urst into tears. "I don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life," s= he said.
 
All I could say was, "We'll do it together."
 
We began to think of what we could do to replace playing tenni= s, walking on the beach, working in the garden. Since Linda loves the ocean= , a friend found a specially designed beach chair made of PVC tubing with w= ide inflated tires that allow it to be pushed across the sand. It's yellow = and white with a big red umbrella.
 
The first time I saw Li= nda sitting atop those tubes and under the red umbrella, I told her she loo= ked like Ronald McDonald's homecoming queen......
 
This is = only the opening, for the full article: http://tinyurl.com/bpvhka 
<= /font> 
=09

Special Feature

 3D= 
 3D"LoveHate"
Hate for my Father
By Tony Palombi
 
In my last article I talked abou= t my growing up in a divorced home and writing of my journey in which I res= tored my faith in God, got married and had four kids. To date we have been = happily married for 18 years.
 
I wanted to focus this artic= le on the time that my father contacted me out of the blue. My dad left whe= n I was 3 years old and he never saw me my entire life. One day I answered = the phone and this person on the other end of it said that he was my dad. I= answered with a statement," I don't have a dad." (Its funny how this had b= ecome my life's mantra by now). I was almost yelling and then I hung up the= phone. Feelings of confusion and anger hit me like a punch in the chest. T= he story went that my dad had suffered a heart attack, nearly died, and cam= e out of it wanting to make contact with his six children some 25 years lat= er.
 
At this point I hated him, and everything he did to my= mum, and never did with me. I always boasted that I would never associate = with him - EVER!
 
That Sunday I went to church, which at t= his time was all new to me. I had just recently given my life to Jesus. Any= one will testify that when you walk with Jesus the first thing you receive,= after being sorry, is forgiveness. It was quite overwhelming to have exper= ienced this kind of love in my life.
 
That morning in churc= h, as I gave God my confusion, I felt God asking me to forgive my father. I= remember saying to God that I couldn't. It went something like,
 = ;"Are you serious? Do you know what he did?"
 
 The tho= ught of it was too much and I knew I couldn't do it and asked God to please= help me get through. As I let go, I cried, yes in public. I was trying to = hide my tears, but it all just gushed out of me. I let it all go, and it ke= pt coming.
 
I left church that day by telling myself that = I hated my dad. I wanted to test my heart to see if hate existed. But, I co= uldn't hate him. I can honestly say that this happened in under 30 minutes.= I had let out 25 years of hate and confusion and let it all go to forgive.= This went against all my logic, but it made sense in my heart.
 =
It was strange because then I, the rejected one, began to pursue a me= eting with him, introduce my wife and at that time, my first daughter to hi= m.
 
I was going to meet a stranger, my father by blood, but= at least I was free of hate.
 
I will let you know how our = first meeting went in my next article, and how we spent the next 7 years co= mmunicating until his death in 1998.

=
News & Info
=
  =20
3D"NewsInfo" 
 3D"Housework"
 
WOMEN are still doing almost twice the amount of househ= old work as men but at least the males are pulling their weight outside, a = report on social trends says.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics = ;has released its quarterly snapshot of Australain society and it show= s households have allocated "his and her'' chores.
Between 1992 and 2= 006, the average time men spent on household work rose by an hour and 25 mi= nutes to 18 hours and 20 minutes a week.

Family Relationships Quarterly Newsletter 
 
The Australian Institute of Family Studies latest newsl= etter is available for download. Of particluar interest is the survey = on reasons for Marrying.
 
 
Childcare Cos= ts to Rise
CHILDCARE costs are set to soar as the states a= nd territories look at forcing centres to hire more staff.

And p= arents may face another blow as the Federal Government's quality watchdog i= nsists that $3 billion a year in subsidies to working parents be scrapped.<= br />
Parents ask for Corporal Punishment 
THE cane is still being wielded at some Queensland scho= ols where parents sign legal waivers to give teachers the power to hit thei= r children.
The corporal punishment option is offered at some of the s= tate's fastest-growing independent schools as part of their strict behaviou= r management strategies.

______________________________________= _______________________
Open Letter
13 March 2009  &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;
 
Dear Senators
 
On the issue of men'= s health I believe there is a widespread trend amongst most western culture= s which places particular focus on women's health issues compared to m= en. One example of that culture which dates back more than a hundred years = was the sinking of the Titanic: There were not enough lifeboats, the captai= n gave the order: "Women and children first". It is my belief that order wa= s given by members of a community which placed a higher level of impor= tance on the safety and well being of women compared to men. It is my belie= f the culture which existed on that fateful evening is still widely reflect= ed today in Australian Government and society.
 
As a man i= t is a culture which I embrace to my own detriment. It feels inherently wro= ng for me to advocate the prospect of placing men's health issues at a high= er level of importance compared to women. To do so seems to lack care and c= onsideration for the other gender.
 
There are a number of h= ealth issues which have different effects for women compared to men, for ex= ample, different levels of smoking, levels of diet and exercise, diseases w= hich affect one gender and not the other. The cause of the difference in li= fe expectancy, is medical, cultural, and reflects the different pressures w= hich one gender experiences compared to the other.
 
The com= plexity of the issue is exemplified in issues such as the different levels = of community concern for some cancers compared to others. The different app= eal some cancers have to public sentiment, compared to others and the appar= ent increased incidence dependent upon individual lifestyle choices. For ex= ample cervical cancer, breast cancer, testicular cancer, prostrate cancer, = lung cancer and bowel cancer. Who amongst us would presume to determine whi= ch cancers are of greater importance amongst all those......Not I.
&nb= sp;
It is my understanding that Australian men's life expectancy is 4.= 8 years less than Australian women's. The difference has remained significa= nt for some time. Men can on average expect nearly five years less life exp= ectancy, clearly something must be done.
 
I believe the rol= e of Government on the issue of men's health should be to try to guide the = community on resolving its health issues, with an awareness that men have a= disadvantage in the lower level of importance placed on their health and w= ell being.
 
The example I would like to use is suicide. Sui= cide rates are approximately three times as high for men compared to women.= I believe the role of government should be to raise the profile of suicide= , to try to reduce rates for both men and women, in the knowledge if all su= icide rates are reduced, there is a benefit to the community, and it will g= o some way to tackling the imbalance of a lower life expectancy for men com= pared to women. 
 
It is my belief the role of Governm= ent should be to raise awareness and assist the community in tackling its h= ealth issues, without trying to exclude one gender compared to the other, b= ut with the knowledge that men have a lower life expectancy and cultural di= sadvantage on health issues compared to women.
 
Adrian Smyth 
_____________________________________________
&nbs= p;
Letters
Dear Fatherhood Foundation
 
I would like to share with you about my Daughter Naomi's Rite of Passa= ge. We had about 16 women & 4 young ladies to help my Daughter celebrate th= is unique time in her life. Each person brought their unique experiences to= what & how a godly women should behave & act .They also explained to = my daughter that she has support network if she ever needed someone to spe= ak to for a different perspective from our immediate family. The time spent= was of love, laughter & a few tears, it was an emotional & special time wi= th these mature women blessing & initiating my daughter into womanhood. I b= elieve this day will be in her memory well into her advanced years as the d= ay she became a woman. It was a very special day for my wife & myself as we= saw our family & friends come together to celebrate this ceremony.
 
Regards
 
Michael Irwin
 
 
PS : My regards To Brian Molitor & his wife for their books & cd's tha= t assisted us immensely.
 
Adrian Smyth
________________________________________= ____
 
Dear Fatherhood Foundation

As you know there is a well coor= dinated attack on the government's reasonable and wise internet filtering t= rial. We would greatly appreciate support from any of your readers.
<= br />He is our online comment we posted today....

We have sy= mpathy for Conroy. He and the filtering trial have received unprecedented a= ttack mainly through disinformation. The intention of the government is sim= ple. A two phase filter. 1) a blacklist (easy to manage, with no slowdown e= ffect) this blacklist is all the RC content that is illegal on TV, radio, p= rint, movies and customs would confiscate it if they found it 2) a dynamic = OPT-OUT (emphasis on opt-out) filter of a wider range of undesirables that = parents would want to protect their children from. The best filter tested (= closed enviro.) so far only slowed internet by 3% (a fact anti-filter lobby= ist ignore). As for the porn-addicts out there, they can get their own ISP = account and turn the dynamic filter OFF. In summary, if you have a problem = with government's plan on censorship grounds then complain to ACMA, and exp= ress why you want to engage in illegal activity etc. If you oppose it on te= ch. grounds why not wait and see how the trial goes, and/or come up with so= me solutions. Our children need our help and protection. Spokespers= on Victorian Branch Australian Family Association.

Luke McCormack
Acting Secretary Victoria
Australian Fami= ly Association
vic@family.org.au
=

Dad's Prayer

3D"Walking
Dear  God 
=
Ten tips to be a great dad
But why are they so hard to do.
"= The good that I want to do I cant,
And the bad that I don't want to do= I do".
It seems impossible sometimes,
Two steps forward one step= backwards,
Sometimes its five steps backward!
 
What's= that I hear you say "keep pressing on.
It's all about your forward mo= tion,
When you call I'll be there
When you fall I will pick you u= p
Just like you do with your own children,
Because I love you mor= e than you love them".
 
=09
=09
Help Us!

3D"HelpUs"= The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherles= sness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.= The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in = fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, p= rotective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and the= ir children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be = emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)

 Westpac Branch Wollongong      &nb= sp;            =   DONATE ONLINE

BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW&nbs= p; 2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

=09
=09
=09
3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by in= fo@fathersonline.org.
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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